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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov. 29, 2006
    Posts
    323

    Default wedding planning for the girl who never day-dreamed about her wedding

    Any good resources for a clueless bride-to-be? I'm being asked about flowers and lace types and I'm over here going "alfalfa and 2000-denier Rambos, please!". Don't even get me started on the whole who pays for what and the fact that my inlaws-to-be are slightly horrified by my choices to get married on a ranch 10 miles up a dirt road and telling my father he could wear blue jeans to the ceremony!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2007
    Posts
    534

    Default

    Pinterest to see what you like?
    I am the same way, I never even cared, and always said I would elope. But ended up with a very nice, if simple, ceremony. Pinterest saved me!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2004
    Location
    Piedmont Triad, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,756

    Default

    Remember, it's only a single day of the rest of your life. Small acorns grow great oaks.

    Our wedding was simple. Single most expensive part was the wedding cake... only because I wanted a cream cheese frosted carrot cake.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    6,731

    Default

    We had a big pig roast and dance and a 15 minute ceremony... at a ranch, actually the ranch where the barn dance was held in the movie The Horse Whisperer... it was beautiful. the guys got new jeans to wear and white shirts... I only had my brother stand up for me, no bridesmaids and all that. New jeans all around, done.

    I put more effort into choosing the music and how to keep the beer cold than I did my dress (off the rack for $200!)... I wore my boots under the dress...

    Seventeen years later people are still talking about how fun it was...

    Do it your way!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 22, 2001
    Posts
    5,369

    Default

    Start by figuring out your budget and rough guest list (for sizing), then work backwards for there. There's no "right" answer - you can have a gorgeous wedding for less than 5K just as easily as one for 50K. What matters is that you (a) have the people you love and want there and (b) you do it in a way that doesn't cause financial stress. Everything else is tulle and gravy.

    That being said, having just gotten married last month, a couple of resources were great for us. First, think REALLY hard about getting someone to be a day of coordinator for you, even if you don't go full-on wedding planner. We did a planner and it was the best decision we could've made: she narrowed down choices for us in terms of vendors and, as a repeat player, had better pricing than we did, and she made the overall process much more seamless/easy than had we tried to muddle through on our own. But even more, having her skills on the ground meant that the only thing we had to think/worry about on our wedding day was our own experience: she made sure flowers/food/music all happened as we had planned, and she coordinated all of the details. Even if you don't hire a pro, having someone available who can "stage-manage" your wedding day is awesome. You really don't want to be thinking about whether the flower girl has her rose petals, or ensuring that your dad has a microphone for his speech, or whatever it is you want to happen.

    And second, www.apracticalwedding.com . Seriously - someone on COTH suggested it to me and it was a godsend during our planning. It's pretty much the antithesis of the Wedding Industrial Complex, and there are lots of good resources there in terms of vendors, how-to's, and how-to-figure-out-if-you-care's (because, seriously, what matters is whether or not you care, not what you think you "should" do). Tons of good suggestions, smart thinking, and a great collection of everything from first dance songs to write-your-own-vows. I found places like TheKnot and some of the conventional wedding websites to be really overwhelming; APW was a much more usable and non-stressful alternative.

    And, most importantly, have fun! It's just one day, of course, but it should be whatever feels right to you for it to be, whether that is a frilly, tulley, flowery black tie shindig, or a run-through-the-fields-in-cowboy-boots whoop-te-do.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov. 10, 2000
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    1,633

    Default

    The Knot was great for getting me set-up with a work plan of to-dos, key dates, etc.

    Identifying your budget is a crucial first step. I'd suggest setting aside some emergency money, too, since things tend to go awry despite the best intentions and you'll need flex cash (e.g. a family friend is ordained and agreed to officiate our wedding for free... but her husband just fell ill and will no longer be able to perform our ceremony. We needed an additional $350 to hire a new officiant <2.5 months out!).

    Pinterest is also great as are the wedding blogs Ruffled and Style Me Pretty (my two favorites) for inspiration and great DIY suggestions, if that's your interest.

    I also highly recommend hiring at least a day-of coordinator, if not someone to serve as a consultant/planner, to help you enjoy the big day. Ours has been great for tracking down vendors, within our budget, and guiding me through some sticky situations!



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov. 29, 2006
    Posts
    323

    Default

    Anything with Practical in the title, and a tab labeled "Get sh*t done" is my kinda site! Thanks


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 29, 2006
    Posts
    323

    Default

    Thanks, guys! Keep the advice coming! Definitely trying to stick with our casual style, but there's still all the organizing stuff thats a bit overwhelming.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul. 29, 2006
    Location
    Colorado- Yee Haw!
    Posts
    3,391

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    After I picked out bridesmaid dresses (at Macy's not a wedding store) I went to home depot and found a matching paint chip. Then anyone who asked me about color I just gave them one of the paint chips. (florist, caterer, relatives) everyone thought it was funny, but it was easier than explaining the shade of plum to people. I did get a quart of the paint and paint the table numbers to match.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov. 10, 2000
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    1,633

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 4Martini View Post
    After I picked out bridesmaid dresses (at Macy's not a wedding store) I went to home depot and found a matching paint chip. Then anyone who asked me about color I just gave them one of the paint chips. (florist, caterer, relatives) everyone thought it was funny, but it was easier than explaining the shade of plum to people. I did get a quart of the paint and paint the table numbers to match.
    This is GENIUS! I am about to enlist a bridesmaid to do this stat before I finalize details with our florist in two weeks. Thanks!



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul. 20, 2007
    Location
    Rising Sun, MD
    Posts
    3,875

    Default

    Basically we planned a big party and did pretty much everything ourselves. The only thing we had someone other than family/ friends do was that we hired a company to set up a tent and rented all the tables, chairs and dishes so that they did all of the clean up. My wedding with everything (florist, preacher, dress, full dinner, appetizers, drinks, champagne, grooms outfit, etc) came to under 5K for 100+ people. I still have people tell me 10 years later it was one of the best weddings they ever went to.
    “While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.” Mark Twain



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug. 18, 2011
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    297

    Default

    Although registries feel very 'wedding-y', they're helpful to the guests, who won't believe you when you say 'your presence is all we need.'

    But you can have fun with them, keep it small and stay practical if you want -- DH and I registered at Cabelas, and our guests dubbed it the 'serial killer wedding registry' and bickered over who got to buy the axe, shovel, tarp, rope, duct tape ...
    Horsey romances written by a horsey person
    www.JesseHayworth.com



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