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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jun. 2, 2000
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    Sussex, NJ
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    1,122

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    Yikes! Glad i have my own barn! At least calling her out will let her know you and the rest of the barn are on to her. However I'd lockup everything! I'd worry about the day she does leave what she'll grab then!



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
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    2,936

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    Glad you have arrived at a solution, but sorry that she's not being kicked out. As a BO I would not want someone I couldn't 100% trust boarding and on my property regularly. If I were you & wasn't riding my horse at the moment I'd probably just take anything I cared about/wasn't using daily home.

    It actually surprises me that more barns don't have stringent polices on bringing guests. Liability makes me nervous.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jan. 18, 2013
    Posts
    125

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    It is odd that the place you board at doesn't have rules about people coming on the grounds. Unless her boyfriend has a reason to be there without her, I don't think he should be permitted to hang around without her present. Strange.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Oct. 19, 2009
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    781

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    I've been a couple of places where theft was an issue. The first place could never prove who it was, but when the thefts stop as soon as one person leaves, well... One of the boarders bumped into ex-boarder at a tack shop. The ex-boarder was selling the shop that boarder's stolen martingale.

    The second place it was the BO's kids stealing stuff. Not maliciously, but because they kept losing their own stuff and they'd just help themselves to the boarders' stuff, and then lose it or "forget" to put it back. BO cracked down on the kids, and we locked our stuff up. Only had one hoofpick vanish after that.

    Other than that I've only ever had a bit stolen. It was a spare hanging on my horse's bridle hook and I was pissed when it vanished. It had taken me a long time to find it and when I had it was in a store that was over two hours away. I kept checking but it never showed up on anyone else's bridle so god knows who took it. It was a lesson stable too, and there were a lot of siblings dragged along who had access to the tack room. There was a bit of a borrowing issue in that barn shortly after I moved in. The (barely) teenage girls would just borrow each other's stuff all the time. I objected when they started in on my stuff. I told them they were welcome to ask to borrow, but taking without asking even if it was returned was not kosher. They never asked to borrow stuff, but they did stop helping themselves too.

    Just remembered - my horse's rainsheet "vanished" when a boarder left. That boarder had a hate on for me (because I actually expected her to act like a decent human being and respect the rules of the barn). It was pure spite because the rainsheet was far too big to fit her pony.

    I think I would accept the BO's decision and lock up my gear. But if ANYTHING else disappears (mine or another boarder's) either sticky fingers boarder goes, or I would.



  5. #25
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2003
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    564

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    Oh, my stuff came home as soon as the theft was discovered. Brought back out an ancient old saddle that I keep around for starting youngsters to hold my place so that if additional boarders come in, the last saddle rack doesn't get taken. . It's so ugly that if somebody is dumb enough to take it they won't get anything for it.

    I'm also not thrilled that shes staying. Even if she is as innocent as she is claiming which I SO incredibly doubt , being civil is going to be HARD. To say nothing of my best friend who boards there who is even more pissed than I am and wants to get in her and BF #3's face about it. She's appointed herself my personal savior lately... when I lost my gelding in November and was totally depressed and brokenhearted, she and her SO gave me my current gelding, the one who is on stall rest right now and who is now letting me show her big multi world champion NSH gaited mare while my guy is healing.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Westford, Massachusetts
    Posts
    3,719

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    The new boarder should be booted from the barn, but at the very least, the boyfriend should be banned altogether. If something happens again, she won't be able to blame him.


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  7. #27
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2003
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    564

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    I visited the barn and saw the headstall today. Yup. It's ruined. Totally pinkified.
    And I am really angry becuse it was one of the first purchases I made when I bought my gelding who I lost in Nov.
    I'm glad the barn is going to put in lockers... but... I think their response here is insufficient in the face of theft and lies. I really think she should be booted. For now, my horse has to stay put as he's on strict stall rest , but in a couple more months, in order to keep this one bad boarder, she will be losing two good ones.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
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    4,584

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    I think starting to look for a new place is a good idea.

    BO has shown you how they handle things like that. I wouldn't be ok with it either.
    "Aye God, Woodrow..."



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jul. 3, 2012
    Location
    Twin Cities
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    2,128

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    I took photos of my tack for insurance purposes, but I have no way to specifically id my bridle. This thread makes me think I should have a number stamped on it somewhere.

    Ideas on best location and method? I realize the thing comes apart into many pieces...maybe on headstall & cavesson? Or just go for broke and do all? (interior, obviously)



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
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    31,831

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hippolyta View Post
    I took photos of my tack for insurance purposes, but I have no way to specifically id my bridle. This thread makes me think I should have a number stamped on it somewhere.

    Ideas on best location and method? I realize the thing comes apart into many pieces...maybe on headstall & cavesson? Or just go for broke and do all? (interior, obviously)
    get some leather working tools from the craft store and stamp all the pieces with the same thing.

    Since theose are decorative, you can do it on either side.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2003
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    564

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    On show tack, you can do it on the inside of the leather too. AALLLLLLL my stuff is getting marked to high heaven now. That is for sure!



  12. #32
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    Mar. 24, 2012
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    1,689

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    Why in the world was she not booted out. I'm also scratching my head about your note saying you understand the stealing part but not the destroying part. Why would you say that? It just gives her the idea stealing is not so bad.

    She will steal again but maybe will be smarter about it next time..

    Bizarre that she has not been booted.


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  13. #33
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
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    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crockpot View Post
    Why in the world was she not booted out. I'm also scratching my head about your note saying you understand the stealing part but not the destroying part. Why would you say that? It just gives her the idea stealing is not so bad.

    She will steal again but maybe will be smarter about it next time..

    Bizarre that she has not been booted.
    I don't think understand is the right word either but I get why she said that. If the bridle had simply been stolen and returned, yes it still would have been stealing but at least she would have the first bridle she purchased for her horse back in its original condition. Stealing and defacing is on another level, and means there has to be some kind of payment on part of the girl even if she did get the bridle back. Why anyone would think cutting reins off and painting a bridle pink is a good idea is still beyond me.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey



  14. #34
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2003
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    564

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    Welllll.... I'm not sure I'm thrilled with the barn at this point.

    She was allowed to stay, even though they don't believe her story (plot thickens... barrel girl says she knew nothing of what was happening.... Boyfriend claims she TOLD him to cut the reins off the bridle. So... which is it...). The boyfriend has been banned from the barn. He supposedly has ordered replacements for my tack. I tend to believe his story a little more than hers because HE is the one making it right financially and it just plain makes more sense to me...

    The barn kind of dropped the ball on the issue though. I emailed the trainer/instructor whose barn it is immediately with the replacement info... she never shared it with the guy even though she was repeatedly in her email sending out barn newsletters, stuff about the youth club, etc... I finally texted it to her bf yesterday who helps her out and the guy is NOW ordering the replacements.... I feel a little bit like BO/Trainer is taking my business for granted, between ignoring my email and not kicking the person out when they admittedly don't believe she's any more innocent in this than I do...

    I'm dreading my trips to the barn and eventually having to face the girl, which is ridiculous because I wasn't the one who screwed things up. The barn is not my "happy place" anymore. I am bummed because I really wanted this place to work out. They're close and convenient and improved considerably on key issues that caused me to move my previous horse out of there a couple of years ago. The guy who does the stall cleaning/feeding is very knowledgeable and good.... The indoor is good sized.... Plus go to the shows I want to attend once my horse is healed up.... But... long term... I'm not keeping my horse someplace that I feel uncomfortable and unvalued as a client... Waiting for the go-ahead from the vet for my horse to be transportable (probably not a few months...)


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  15. #35
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    8,537

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    I don't believe the BF decided to do this on his own, and how many guys run around with pink paint in a barn they have nothing to do with anyway? I agree that you need to find another barn, and I would not be surprised to find out the girl who stole and ruined the bridle and bit has a history of theft either.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White


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  16. #36
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2013
    Location
    Southeastern US
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    1,596

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    First of all, theft is theft. Stores call the cops over the theft of an item worth much less. I think the police should have been involved,. She/boyfriend may not steal from YOU next time, but they will continue to steal until someone takes the appropriate action. I would have called the cops. It isn't "too little" to worry about. Do you realize that most petty thefts, especially those done in such a sloppy manner, are people trying to get quick drug money? Reporting it could have led to getting rid of, not just a thief, but perhaps also getting another addict into the system and out of your barn. I would ask for a review of the barn policies and include something about involving the police if something is stolen. Cut bridle reins is clearly intent to steal, not just "barn borrowing".

    I lost a saddle and a bridle in one barn theft (reported to the police). Plus, I lost a bridle and nice hackamore in another barn (also reported). The first was caught, and yes, drug addiction was the root cause. Everyone was happy to see him go. The other was not caught.

    I also don't believe for one minute that she wasn't involved. It's her boyfriend. Did HE paint the bridle pink? Yeah, right.



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Jan. 8, 2013
    Posts
    166

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    Wow, that whole situations would be incredibly frustrating. I'm sorry the BO/Trainer is being such a slacker in addressing this issue, but glad to hear he's finally ordered replacements. Tack is expensive and while I have been guilty of borrowing another boarder's whip or such on a rare occasion (and had other people borrow my stuff on rare occassions), it always gets put back in the same condition it was borrowed and the age old "you break it, you bought it" is expected. I can't imagine helping yourself to someone else's stuff and then permanately damaging/changing it and then claiming it as your own.

    Hard to believe she wasn't booted, but the only advice I can offer is to kill her with kindness. Hold in your fumes and smile when you see her. Say hello, try to ask her how her horse is doing. Pour the kindness on and she'll likely feel horrible that she did such a thing to you. Being angry with her and letting her know it, likely won't hurt her at all and may even provide "justification" to her for doing such an awful thing since she can then see you as a ***** who deserved it.

    So smile and pay attention to your horse and your friends at the barn and pretend like everything is ok and you are the sweetest person ever. Eventually, you true kind self will come back through and you won't have to fake it.


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  18. #38
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2007
    Location
    Central NJ
    Posts
    1,056

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    I see no reason to be nice to someone who stole from me. I think anyone capable of stealing like that would not be likely to feel badly because I was nice to them.

    She should be made to feel the repercussions of being a jerk and amoral.

    Killing with kindness is passive agressive and puts the burden on the victim. Gah.

    Tell her you hold her responsible. Period.
    Last edited by skykingismybaby1; Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:35 AM. Reason: spellin


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  19. #39
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Packing my bags
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    Kindness?
    bah, overrated.

    Politeness, yes.

    But the DQ kind of politeness...that leaves no doubt that you really think she is a gnat, not even worth squashing.
    Practice raising only one eyebrow when you are not talking to her.

    Yeah, BF needs a different GF, or he'll d time for her. The moron.

    At least he IS trying to make things right! Some redeeming qualities. Barrel chick must have bumped her head a few times on the barrels....

    Create a personal space bubble around yourself, let drama pearl off you like water of a duck's back.

    and of course, leave nothing unlocked.

    And maybe you need to have a sitdown talk with BO...it probably won't be easy to asking in a non accusatory way WTF she was thinking not calling the police and filing a report....but it certainly needs to be followed up on.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.


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  20. #40
    Join Date
    Jun. 16, 2001
    Location
    Los Angeles, California
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    3,410

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alagirl View Post
    Practice raising only one eyebrow when you are not talking to her.
    Unless you were a trekkie in your youth and learned the one eyebrow thing then it is a hard skill for an adult to master.
    The Denver Broncos went to visit an orphanage. "It's so sad looking into their faces so devoid of hope." Sara aged 6


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