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  1. #41
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    Oct. 12, 2005
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    Va
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    As a barn managef, I would have required she leave. Since that didn't happen, all the other boarders shoild totally shun her and make it perfectly clear they want absolutely nothimg to do with her. Eventually it should become so uncomfortable she will leave on her own.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  2. #42
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    Oct. 14, 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by skykingismybaby1 View Post
    I see no reason to be nice to someone who stole from me. I think anyone capable of stealing like that would not be likely to feel badly because I was nice to them.

    She should be made to feel the repercussions of being a jerk and amoral.

    Killing with kindness is passive agressive and puts the burden on the victim. Gah.

    Tell her you hold her responsible. Period.
    This. I would limit my interaction with her to monosyllabic responses only. There's no reason to be nice or kind to this person. There's not much reason to "keep the peace" either. She's already screwed you over. I would blatently ignore her. If she ever asks what your problem is tell her 'you/your friend stole and defaced my tack; tack that I bought for my first horse whom recently died. Thanks for pouring salt in that wound.'


    6 members found this post helpful.

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
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    In Jingle Town
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    Quote Originally Posted by 5 View Post
    Unless you were a trekkie in your youth and learned the one eyebrow thing then it is a hard skill for an adult to master.
    hehehe, it certainly is, but there are alternatives that work just as well!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.
    GNU Terry Prachett



  4. #44
    Join Date
    Jun. 23, 2010
    Location
    Connecticut
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    1,750

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    I think it would be best to complete that police report, sooner rather than later. At the very least the barn manager will need to speak with the police, and perhaps that will put some pressure on them to take this seriously.
    I would follow up your original letter with a second letter, this one with a deadline, that you expect replacement tack or cash to be provided to you no later than..(fill in the date).
    Then, if you don't get the tack/check, file a small claims suit against both the girl and her BF. They can try to srot out their story in front of the court.
    And while I can see that you might want to stay at the barn for other reasons, and you can't move right now, I would think that moving as soon as possible would be best. I would never want to keep my horse and my belonings around theives.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  5. #45
    Join Date
    Mar. 27, 2009
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    Upstate NY
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    If it were me and I came into contact with her I would make sure she understood clearly that I hold her one hundred percent responsible for taking my equipment, and that it didn't matter what she says. I would tell her that she owes me $200.00 to replace the bridle, reins and bit and that she should stay out of my way. Then I would ignore her and have nothing more to say to her. If she persisted with me in some way, I would get right on the phone to the police in front of her and make the report of the theft and defacement right then and there while she is at the barn. If she harrassed me at the barn, I would call the police each and every time. She's a skank.

    then I would find a new place to board and tell my (now ex) trainer why. If she cared, she would do something about it. I would assume she wasn't going to do anything about it and make immediate arrangements to move. Then, gone. That's all. Just go. Fair? no. Appripriate? For me, entirely.
    They snooze, they munch hay -- oh the abuse! The humanity!!! Won't someone think of the children! - rhymeswithfizz



  6. #46
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2013
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    Southeastern US
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    I re-read my response and I sound very bitter. It wasn't directed at the OP. It was just my frustration at having been there. I'm sorry the barn owner wimped out.



  7. #47
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2003
    Location
    Michigan
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    microbovine- took your post in the light it intended. Thank you for all the responses. I don't know WHY I'm the one feeling guilty over the whole situation and expecting the barn to handle the situation... i must be a headcase..... I feel akward even asking somebody at the barn to handle the situation because I get the feeling that they expect the guy replacing my tack and "watching barrel girl like a hawk" to 100% wipe the slate clean and move on with life. It just doesn't. I'm not good at "forgive and forget". It's just not in me. I don't want to ever see this girl again and I know if it comes down to a face to face confrontation any time in the near future, I'm going to get angry and then immediately end up in tears (yeah... I'm not even any good at getting pissed off and letting somebody have it. I get mad, I cry. FML)


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #48
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
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    In Jingle Town
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    Quote Originally Posted by blairasb View Post
    microbovine- took your post in the light it intended. Thank you for all the responses. I don't know WHY I'm the one feeling guilty over the whole situation and expecting the barn to handle the situation... i must be a headcase..... I feel akward even asking somebody at the barn to handle the situation because I get the feeling that they expect the guy replacing my tack and "watching barrel girl like a hawk" to 100% wipe the slate clean and move on with life. It just doesn't. I'm not good at "forgive and forget". It's just not in me. I don't want to ever see this girl again and I know if it comes down to a face to face confrontation any time in the near future, I'm going to get angry and then immediately end up in tears (yeah... I'm not even any good at getting pissed off and letting somebody have it. I get mad, I cry. FML)
    nah, don't get angry! That gal is so not worth it.
    Adopt your inner DQ!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.
    GNU Terry Prachett



  9. #49
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    Jan. 28, 2013
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    Southeastern US
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    Is there another boarding barn where you would be happier?



  10. #50
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    Aug. 15, 2003
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    Michigan
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    Not too many other options in my area that I'm aware of that are much better, and right now my horse is on strict stall rest with a ruptured tendon... I'm stuck where I am for a bit... :-(



  11. #51
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Quote Originally Posted by blairasb View Post
    Not too many other options in my area that I'm aware of that are much better, and right now my horse is on strict stall rest with a ruptured tendon... I'm stuck where I am for a bit... :-(
    Practice your cold stare! Do not engage.

    You will be alright!

    Watch some Designing Women, see how Julia Sugarbaker does it!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.
    GNU Terry Prachett


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #52
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2003
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    Michigan
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    Oh I am DONE today... SO done.

    There's "bad luck" and "shit happens" and then there's this.

    First, my horse gets hurt in turnout.
    Then my tack gets stolen.

    Today my friend asked me to ride her horse since she had to work. Little 4yo WP Paint mare. I don't love WP, but the mare's a pretty slick ride and it was a beautiful day so I say "Sure!"

    Go to the barn, feed Stewie his lunch, tack the mare up and get to work. Mare's being a total solid citizen so I decided to kill two birds with one stone and go stirrupless so I dont turn into a total puddle of mush while my horse is out of comission. Going along, happy as can be... jog past the gate at the end of the arena (goes from a solid rail to a gate), I hear a scuffle and turn my head to look. The trainer's mom recently passed away so her dogs are spending time out at the barn. I thought both were locked up in the observation room. Apparently this one wasn't). Mare reacts to nasty little JRT charging at her and barking, bolts, bucks, I'm stirrupless and haven't gotten to ride much in the past month and a half so I'm not at my best, go somersaulting through the air, land kind of "withers" first and rock down onto my back. The mare apparently caught me with a hoof on my shin because that's good and bruised and skinned up. Thankfully that and some sore ribs are the worst of my injuries from what I can tell.

    Trainer was pretty well unconcerned when the barn help told her what happened. No "oh shit... are you okay?" Kind of laughed it off. To me, it's not a joke. Most of my back is fused with rods and big screws through the vertibrae. If a screw breaks out of a vertibrae or a rod snaps, It's BAD NEWS. I don't need preventable, stupid shit to happen when I'm riding that causes me to get dumped off a horse. No. Not Okay.

    And the icing on the cake?

    My gelding is getting VERY irritated by his "neighbor". The neighbor runs his teeth up and down the wall while Stewie is eating and it's getting Stewie worked up (horse does that even if he's got a mountain of hay in front of him...) . To the point stewie has started kicking with his uninjured leg, or backing his hindquarters into the wall and rocking the partition. That is NOT quiet stall rest. I asked the barn if we could maybe move that horse to another open stall (there are several) and move my friend's mare into that stall because they get along great and then he can have a buddy who stays in right next to him instead of being in isolation while the rest of the horses go outside for the day. Barn says "we have to ask the owner". Well, the owner says no, she doesnt want to move the horse. So that is apparently that. Her horse staying in that stall is apparently more important than making sure my horse has the best possible chance at recovering from his injuries.


    Nail in coffin. He gets healed enough to move, I'm gone. Friend has a lead on a barn in her neck of the woods that is supposed to be decent.



  13. #53
    Join Date
    Jul. 14, 2000
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    NM
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    Meanwhile you could ask to move your horse to one of the other stalls.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  14. #54
    Join Date
    Mar. 27, 2009
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    Upstate NY
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    Yeah, I'd still keep asking others to switch with you. Give it a shot. They can only (in this climate) say no. Sorry to hear about everything. I would reaaaly want to leave, too.
    They snooze, they munch hay -- oh the abuse! The humanity!!! Won't someone think of the children! - rhymeswithfizz



  15. #55
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    Aug. 15, 2003
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    Michigan
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    My vet doesn't want him out of the stall at all until his ultrasound next week. Not even the two steps out of his stalls to hook him in the crossties in front of the stall to groom him. And he gets along GREAT with the horse on his other side.... Swapping this horse and my friend';s horse would ensure a "good neighbor" buffer on both sides of him. Moving him to another stall with an unknown neighbor is a crapshoot, and not something my vet would sign off on....



  16. #56
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    Jul. 14, 2000
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    NM
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    And the barn owner let the other horse owner know this? Did you let her know it would be temporary?



  17. #57
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
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    Whidbey Is, Wash.
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    I skipped page two, so I apologize. I do see people are still encouraging OP to file a police report.

    Not sure about Michigan, but in my state...it's been too long AND she has now engaged in a civil agreement with the suspect for retribution. In other words, too bad (from LE side of things). I don't understand WHY the OP DIDN'T file a report to begin with, but that's neither here nor there. Once you start negotiating, it (in most states) is a civil contract and LE won't get involved. I can't tell you how many times this has happened and people call and start kvetching because the bad guy isn't upholding his/her side of things. Shocking, I know...

    PSA:

    *If your stuff goes MIA, and you are actually upset about it or give a rodent's patooey, call the cops immediately. Seriously, we don't care how cheap it is. Your $12 xyz that went missing is just as important as that $500 cell phone .
    *If you find out who did it or where it is, let the cops know...don't text back n forth with the suspect "give me my things/pay me back and we're good" or whatever agreement you want (because they won't do it).
    *If you do, that's now civil and not criminal and LE won't be able to do much because that's not our bailiwick.
    *A biggie here, and will irritate the crap out of us whether you know it or not, is if you call the cops and file a report, don't say that you don't want to press charges if you get your stuff back. Like Yoda says, Do or Don't Do. The return of an item doesn't negate the theft. If that were true, then shoplifting wouldn't be prosecutable. It's the intent. But if we start investigating and find out who it is, we're thinking "yay we get to put the bracelets on a Bad Guy, woot!!" We are like Golden Retrievers. We love our jobs (most of us) and getting to Nab The Bad Guy is like catching the ball. WOOT!! SCORE!! And then when you say "oh he/she still had my laptop? Yeah, no, I don't want to wreck his/her life over this, I just want my stuff, thanks" is like taking the ball away. It's really frustrating. It's why sometimes we seem cynical. It's not always the Bad Guys. Sometimes it's the Good Guys.

    Off my box now. Sorry.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


    6 members found this post helpful.

  18. #58
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2006
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    The rocky part of KY
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    Well that's useful information TJ - can you give us the proper thing to do when the theft occurs on the BO's property and the BO doesn't care? Is that like having your car broken into at the mall where you just make the report on your own even if you report it to the mall cops? I understand why people have mercy but I also understand that some bad guys are just, well bad guys and will happily take every out offered.

    OP I would be so disgusted at this point with this foolish and uncooperative BO, best wishes for your horse to keep his cool till you can leave.
    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
    Incredible Invisible


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #59
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    Aug. 2, 2004
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    Whidbey Is, Wash.
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    Yep Still your gear, no matter what. BO doesn't care? I'd move. But my tack? Oh hells to the yes. Report everything. Someone who has pinched a bridle, and at the barn they actually board?? Not dumb. Well, dumb yes, but, more important, has done it before and gotten away with it. Consequences are where it's at. I had to stop reading, hence the lack of reading the second page, because I was irritated (no offense OP) that she was getting away with it...again. No one starts with a bridle.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


    2 members found this post helpful.

  20. #60

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    I would call your vet and explain the situation with your horse kicking out at the stall and ask him if he or she thinks it would be better to move him across the aisle. I would think under the circumstances the vet would agree that moving your horse across the aisle would be better than allowing him to kick at his stall.

    Blaming the BO for your being bucked off your friend's horse is a bit of a reach. You were riding a relatively unknown young horse without stirrups (probably not the wisest decision) and the horse bolted when the dog barks and charges at her. A dog could have come onto the property from a neighboring farm, a loud noise could have spooked her, etc. Take some responsibility here. You have a back injury but yet you decide to climb on your friend's 4 year old and ride without stirrups? The fact that the horse bolted and you fell off isn't the BO's responsibility.


    10 members found this post helpful.

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