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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2002
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    3,573

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    Not whiney at all!
    Do what you need to do is the only advice I can give- only you know what that will be.
    What we did the first Christmas after my father died was to do things very differently.
    We traveled for it and spent it with family in Colorado. It helped my mom, my sister and I to be doing something very different. It was not a fun holiday but, for us, it was not as awful as it would have been if we had been at home trying to do things the way we usually did.
    But what helped us may not help you.
    There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.(Churchill)


    1 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Mar. 26, 2005
    Location
    Back to Normal.. or as close as I'll ever get
    Posts
    9,255

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    First of all {hugs} - navigating your way through widowhood is not easy.

    My DH died in June (10yrs ago) and that Christmas I had a huge party and decorated the heck out of the house.
    Christmas was never my holiday, but he loved it, so I think I was celebrating him, not the holiday.

    Now my "celebrating" is only putting up the little fake tree I got as a joke one year.
    Tom had to have a live tree & I fussed about vacuuming needles in April, so this was my rebellion.
    Now every Christmas I pull it out, light it up and remember the 30 wonderful years we had together.

    Your son sounds like a great kid!
    (even if I don't know who Chipper Jones is...)
    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
    Hey Vern! 1982-2009
    Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    30,998

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2DogsFarm View Post

    Your son sounds like a great kid!
    (even if I don't know who Chipper Jones is...)
    Newly retired baseball super star of the Atlanta Braves.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2008
    Location
    Florida, USA
    Posts
    779

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    MAJOR HUGSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

    Perhaps do something COMPLETELY different... go out on Christmas day, take the kids to a park, spend the day outside and enjoy time with them.
    I think Christmas is important for kids... that being said, you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

    Christmas at the end of the day- is about spending time with your loved ones... why don't you guys make new decorations? You can go to Michael's and get ones that need to be painted or just get creative... that way, it's still decorating but you don't need to look at the old ones.

    Again- major HUGS going your way! And fyi- you don't sound WHINY at all!
    Proudly living in my "let's save the world bubble"!



  5. #25
    Join Date
    Sep. 8, 2006
    Location
    Fredericksburg, VA
    Posts
    2,034

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    Just wishing you peace and strength, and even a measure of --gasp-- JOY this holiday season, Freebird.

    If you have any extra money, maybe you could find a needy child to sponsor/play Santa for. Inexpensive toys can be found at places like Ross/TJ Maxx/Marshall's/etc. Or maybe volunteer somewhere? The only reason I mention it is because helping others is invariably suggested as a kind of therapy for oneself.

    In any case, keep your head up (and kick on!)!



  6. #26
    Join Date
    Aug. 1, 2002
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    6,160

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiger Horse View Post
    Freebird! I am dealing with the same (lost my DH in July), but at least my daughter is older (19), although she is away at college - which is a whole different dynamic. We have talked about what we want to do - and we are going to keep it very simple. No outside decorations and not much inside - a tree and maybe a few very favorite things. I am just not up to all the fuss - esp when it will just be the two of us. One thing we will do, which is a family tradition, is go to a favorite downtown restaurant on Christmas Eve. That I know he would want us to do and enjoy. Hugs to you.
    Hugs and prayers to you too. If you ever need to talk, I'm here.



  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jan. 19, 2011
    Location
    Coastal Marsh of Texas
    Posts
    1,086

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    My deepest condolences to you and your family.

    Are you doing anything for 'All Saints Day', Nov 1st?

    We know a widower with children who goes to services where his wife's name is publicly read aloud, then they go home and have a short family prayer and light a candle in her memory. He has been doing this for years with the kids and it has helped acknowledge the loss at the beginning of the holiday season.

    Again, deepest condolences.

    P.S. Chipper Jones has a fantastic hunting ranch in south Texas that our family has hunted on for years - I wonder if your son is a hunter. http://www.doubledimeranch.com/



  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jul. 4, 1999
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,801

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    Kat, I am so sorry, but I know that God is looking out for you and your family. Just do what feels right for you, and know that we are all here if you need a "hug."
    In loving memory of Chutney (1977 - 2008)

    My newest book, "Sandsablaze," to be released in the summer of '14



  9. #29
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2006
    Location
    Eastern WV Panhandle
    Posts
    1,246

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    I'm not a widow, but I did find that the first holiday season after my mother passed away it was easier to spend tiime with my husband's family than with my own. The constant little reminders that brought tears just weren't there.

    Hugs to you, OP.



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