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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug. 4, 2009
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    MD
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    4,113

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghazzu View Post
    Call a dumpster, fill it with the tractor (you do have a FEL, yes?), and send them the bill.



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2006
    Posts
    8,748

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    Quote Originally Posted by Belltello View Post
    He got defensive and said "How is it inconvenient?!" My reply: "Well, have you ever sat your @$$ on a frosty metal tractor seat in 35 degree weather and struggled to get a cold tractor to start first thing in the morning? And then when that frosty metal tractor seat thaws and leaves your pants wet? Pretty darn inconvenient if you ask me. My tractor is going to be in the barn next weekend whether you like it or not." He said he was going to find the number and call but couldn't make any guarantees that they could pick up by next weekend. We shall see what goes...
    I don't think any kind of elaboration is necessary. To explain to him why it is inconvenient is like asking for his permission to agree that your intended use of your own space is reasonable to HIM. All it needs to be is reasonable to YOU.

    "I was willing to extend my space to you for a limited time but that time is up. You now need to relocate your things to your own property and ensure that I can use my own property as I would like again. I will of course give you every opportunity to remove your things before the stated deadline. Please let me know if I may be of any assistance. I understand this may be a difficult situation for you but ultimately these are YOUR things so either take this opportunity to take ownership of them or I will dispose of them."


    Also, Eleanor, thank you for letting me know that! I was not aware that I was costing them money and I will make sure not to in the future!



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2006
    Location
    The rocky part of KY
    Posts
    9,465

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hippolyta View Post
    PODS. +++

    My mother is a hoarder. Children of hoarders are very angry people.

    Oh yes they are. We've been cleaning and emptying MIL's home after she had emergency surgery and we all (MIL included) made the decision to bring her into Senior living in town.

    I had the brainy idea to yardsale the extra trinkets, SIL would do that while DH and I scrubbed the place for MIL's interim use while we waited for the apartment to come vacant. SIL broke or "accidently" threw away a whole trash can full of admittedly dollar items, is now saying that yardsale season is over, and we should ship things to the Goodwill. Never tried to have the yardsale and isn't getting the boxes of yardsale goods out of the house to take to Goodwill either.
    As far as I can tell she is so full of resentment that she really would burn the house down with all the s**t in it.
    And I don't blame her, not really.

    OP, that's your barn and your space. I don't care if he is "family", unless he has a financial or ownership interest in your barn he's got no rights to it. Give him the deadline and then clear out your space. Sorry you have to waste your time on his junk.
    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
    Incredible Invisible



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2003
    Location
    Dundurn, SK
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    2,393

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    Quote Originally Posted by meupatdoes View Post
    Also, Eleanor, thank you for letting me know that! I was not aware that I was costing them money and I will make sure not to in the future!
    Up untill I started working at HFH 2 months ago I never thought about it. But now that I see it everyday it is on my mind. Remember that 80% of stuff can be recycled if you have a good recycling depot in your area. When I worked at Sally Ann that town didn't have a good recycling depot so every thing ended up in the landfill.
    My life motto now is "You can't fix stupid!"

    Are you going to cowboy up, or lie there and bleed



  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2007
    Location
    where its cold
    Posts
    838

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    Dishwasher as the cat litter box.

    I can understand the anger!

    I'd be tempted by the portable storage idea too, or a great big bonfire.



  6. #26
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2009
    Posts
    1,218

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    Anyone taking bets before the new house is as trashed up as the apt was ?

    OP glad you gave your brother a concrete deadline. Stick to your guns and don't let them take advantage of you any longer. It's rude and inconsiderate of them and they have no right to be angry at YOU for it.



  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jul. 5, 2007
    Location
    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
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    6,999

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hippolyta View Post
    PODS. +++

    My mother is a hoarder. Children of hoarders are very angry people.
    Yes. Yes we are.
    The more perfect our happiness,
    the more nagging and wretched
    do our unsolved problems seem.
    ~ Gordon Grand


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jul. 5, 2007
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    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
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    Honestly, they don't want the stuff, they just don't want to deal with it.

    Now, you have to decide if you're going to do the work to throw it out for them.... or stand over them and make them remove it from your property. Because frankly, those are your only two options.
    The more perfect our happiness,
    the more nagging and wretched
    do our unsolved problems seem.
    ~ Gordon Grand



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2002
    Location
    Calera, AL
    Posts
    1,901

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    I must watch too much court tv because I started wondering if they might be vindictive and sue you for getting rid of their stuff. Sadly, family members sue each other all the time over stupid stuff like this. Maybe send them an email or something so you have this discussion in writing???



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jul. 5, 2007
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    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
    Posts
    6,999

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    Better yet, a certified letter
    The more perfect our happiness,
    the more nagging and wretched
    do our unsolved problems seem.
    ~ Gordon Grand



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    8,779

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    Your relatives will never take the stuff away, and donation is not going to work either. After the recent hantavirus case of one of the workers on Hoarders (TLC edition, not A&E), and Goodwill had to locate and trash hundreds of donated books so no one at their shop would get infected the junk people who have the big trucks won't donate things. In fact on the episode on the A&E edition this week the hoarder was told they don't donate stuff from rodent or manure infested places. And if there is mold or vermin the stuff will be trashed anyway.

    I would have it hauled away and send them the bill. They won't pay it, but as long as it's past the deadline I think you have the right to get rid of their stuff, because it's dumped on your property. They would be nuts to take it anyway, because you can't tell me there aren't vermin burrowing through everything.

    And don't ever let a hoarder store stuff at your place. They only get angry at you, and it all becomes your fault that they have too much useless junk. And your brother isn't a hoarder, but an enabler and he'll never stand up to his wife about it anyway. He might get rid of some stuff, but I bet there was hell to pay when the wife found out.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  12. #32
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
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    32,552

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    I have not read the replies....

    But I might add this:
    My local thrift store does pick up at your house.



    yes, very convinient! Many times they call me and inform me thta they are doing a pickup day in the neighborhood,and ask if I have stuff to be hauled away. I manage to have a little bit of something every time.

    But they di sattle up the truck if I were to call them, and they send a couple of guys to haul stuff away.
    (Ironically, ther was just a Salvation Army commercial on TV about pick up of stuff!)
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  13. #33
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    Mar. 23, 2005
    Location
    SF Bay Area
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    2,813

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    Quote Originally Posted by JanM View Post

    And don't ever let a hoarder store stuff at your place. They only get angry at you, and it all becomes your fault that they have too much useless junk. And your brother isn't a hoarder, but an enabler and he'll never stand up to his wife about it anyway. He might get rid of some stuff, but I bet there was hell to pay when the wife found out.
    Bingo!



  14. #34
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2006
    Posts
    8,748

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    Omfg I did not know it was possible to hoard hanta virus.

    I already have almost nothing in my house; after reading this I will be resisting the urge to "declutter" the house of its single coffee table and one reading chair.

    And do I really neeeed the floorboards???



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Nov. 25, 2005
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    MA
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    1,065

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    Was I the only one that thought she might be talking about chipmunks and squirrels?



  16. #36
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    Apr. 15, 2008
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    1,196

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    Quote Originally Posted by JanM View Post
    . And your brother isn't a hoarder, but an enabler and he'll never stand up to his wife about it anyway. He might get rid of some stuff, but I bet there was hell to pay when the wife found out.
    We do not have an overpopulation of dogs, we have an under population of responsible dog owners!!!



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
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    5,423

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    Quote Originally Posted by meupatdoes View Post
    Omfg I did not know it was possible to hoard hanta virus.

    I already have almost nothing in my house; after reading this I will be resisting the urge to "declutter" the house of its single coffee table and one reading chair.

    And do I really neeeed the floorboards???



  18. #38
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
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    Meup-Yes, they were cleaning out a house near Houston (I think near there) and it was full of the usual massive amounts of trash and vermin. A worker came down with hantavirus, and apparently was extremely ill. Everyone else that worked there was watched closely for symptoms, and there was actually a police officer posted to keep people out of the house for their own safety. As I said, the local Goodwill had received some donated books from this place, and had to locate them, destroy them, and warn their workers about symptoms to watch for. I've wondered for a long time about the possibility of illness from these disgusting hoards, and they usually have rats and mice, and other icky creatures living in there too.

    I think that if this stuff has been in the OP's barn, that it's almost inevitable that there would be interesting creatures move into the stuff. I think that many charities are worried about the source and where things are stored. I don't think used clothes and the other stuff mentioned would be worth a charity collecting it.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  19. #39
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2011
    Location
    So California
    Posts
    2,955

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucassb View Post
    If I could make a gentle suggestion...

    You and your brother had an agreement, and that agreement was that you would keep their stuff for a certain period of time, period. That time has now passed, and the issue really isn't whether you really "need" the space or not; you are perfectly entitled to leave the space empty if you wish, and don't owe him an explanation on that score.

    I applaud you for setting a limit with your brother and encourage you to stick with it. Refuse to engage in any ensuing drama. "Bob, we agreed I would store your things until X date. When that date came and went, we discussed the fact that the stuff needed to be removed, and I extended you the courtesy of a further # of days to arrange for that. That day came and went and still, you did nothing about it. As I told you, I am simply not able to store your things beyond that date, and I had them removed, as we had discussed."

    Good luck. It sounds like a very challenging situation.
    This is such good advice. Do not let yourself be put in a defensive position. You have no need to justify why you want their stuff out of your barn. It is your barn, you agreed to let him store his stuff for a fixed time and he is now taking advantage of you. I urge you not to make up any kind of reason or excuse for him to remove their stuff, except that you don't want it there, and be firm that that alone is all the reason you need. Rehearse it. Then stick with the deadlines you gave.

    I would also drop off a note or email the reminder with a cc at the bottom so that there are no accusations or false confusion over exactly what you want: "Bob and Kathy, just a reminder. Don't forget to come and get your things out of my barn before Saturday, October 20th. I will be cleaning the barn and disposing of anything remaining at noon on the 20th."

    Family problems are just the worst. I have total sympathy for you.



  20. #40
    Join Date
    Jul. 3, 2012
    Location
    Twin Cities
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    2,200

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    Quote Originally Posted by HydroPHILE View Post
    My MIL is a hoarder. I dread having to go through their home when my ILs pass away. We have gone and helped my MIL "clean out" some things, but when we come back to the house, she's collected more.
    The only reason I think I need to get married is so that there is someone around who is at least semi-legally obligated to help me clear out my mother's crap (HUGE house, full) when she goes.

    If I had my way she'd be in the bin right now.

    see...angry.


    1 members found this post helpful.

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