It’s officially “the holidays”—a time when people expect each other to clean up, go out, and socialize. That can make it a tough time of year for horse owners, as those three things are difficult for us to accomplish individually, let alone all on the same day.

After a day that begins at 5:30 a.m. and includes barn chores, working, barn chores, and riding followed by more barn chores, all we want to do is go home and stay there. Because of that, horse people can come of as being anti—or at least non—social. But really, we’re not unfriendly. We’re just tired.

Dear Santa Hoss,

For the fifth year in a row I am writing in hopes of catching you before you and your team of eight Thoroughbreds arrive at my Human’s house. We have long enjoyed a good working relationship, as I first came to you in order to set the record straight about my own behavior throughout the year and later began sending you my suggested Christmas lists for the Human.

Have you ever looked at the judge’s scorecard after the horse show?

It’s filled with little symbols, notations and abbreviations that describe the action with a form of visual shorthand (yes, the first emojis!).

Wouldn’t you love to know what all of them (or even some of them) mean? Wonder no more. Here’s a handy key to get you started ;-)

Dear Diary,

Last time I told you all about my first horse show, and now I get to tell you about my first clinic!

I’m not really sure what a clinic is, but it must be similar to a show, because my mom/Treat Chief gave me a good scrubby bath and trimmed a jazzy little bald patch in my mane where my bridle goes (I’m told it’s all the rage, and I’m also told please-stop-turning-around-to-see-what’s-going-on-you’re-going-to-make-me-cut-your-ear-off).

I was recently weeding through my Facebook feed and noticed that several of the Humans I follow have been posting Instagram photos with extensive captions (which could really use editing) with the #30daysofthanks hashtag.

After consulting with my social media manager, I learned that this is an exercise Humans use to publicly convince themselves that their tiny little lives are full of meaning.