Friday, May. 31, 2024

Johnny Goes To The Show



Third Level, Test 3. Ring 2 at the Adequan Global Dressage Festival.

To confirm that the horse demonstrates correct basics, and having begun to develop an uphill balance at Second Level, now demonstrates increased engagement, especially in—

JOHNNY ROAD: HI! Hi hi hi! Omg you guys, we’re at a horse show!! It’s been a few years since I went to a horse show because there was a period of time in which I thought grabbing the bit and running with my head in the air was an appropriate response to being asked for a flying change, and also there was a while where I thought going sideways was pretty stupid. But now I’m a big boy and I’m here and I’m braided and it is SO EXCITING and oh, hey Mom! That was the bell oh boy oh boy oh boy—

A Enter collected trot. X Halt, salute.

JR: Hi Lilo Fore! You are looking so pretty today with your pretty blonde hair. I LOVE blondes. Did you see how square my halt was? It was soooooo square. I shall trumpet my triumph over my square halt, but I shall do so on the bit, because Mom says it’s OK if I sing the Song of my People, so long as I do it on the bit.


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Proceed collected trot. C Track left. HXF Change rein, medium trot.

JR: Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

F Collected trot. K-E Shoulder-in right.

JR: Dude, these plants are so cool! I didn’t know plants came in that particular shade of aquamarine.

E-X Half circle right 10m. X-B Half circle left 10m. B-G Half pass left. C Track right.

JR: Hi again Lilo! Did you see me bend left?! Aren’t I so handsome? I used to think bending left was really dumb but then I got it. Did you see it? Want me to do it again in this corner, even though we’re turning right?

MXK Change rein, extended trot.



K Collected trot. A Halt, rein back 4 steps.

JR: Oh man, I get to show off my square halt AGAIN! I am so excited. It is gonna be SO SQUARE. Boom. Mike drop. OMG is that Ashley Holzer sitting over there on that fence?! ASHLEY HOMEGIRL WHAT’S UP?!?! You are looking FINE in that hat, mamma! Hmm? What? Oh, right, rein back. But I want to keep looking at Ashley so I’m gonna put my head up really high, so I can see her better.

Proceed collected trot. F-B Shoulder in left.

JR: Hey cool, more plants! I like plants. These plants are great.

B-X Half circle left 10m. X-E Half circle right 10m. E-G Half pass right. C track left.

JR: Lilo, aren’t you so impressed that I can bend right AND left?! I bet there aren’t too many other horses who can do that.

Between C&H Medium walk. H Turn left. Between G&M Half turn on haunches left.

JR: NAILED IT. OMG Mom, did you see that?! We SO TOTALLY NAILED IT. I am still thinking about how we nailed—

Between G&H Half turn on haunches right.

JR: —oh CRAP you have to do these both ways too?! Sorry, I was just SO EXCITED about that left one. Let me sing my triumph over the left turn on the hizaunches.

R-V Extended walk. V Medium walk.


JR: I looooove extended walk. I am, like, soooo focused on my extended walk. Head down, back swinging, bum reaching, on it, this is such a great walk, I am killing it HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL WHO PUT THAT PLANT THERE DANGER WILL ROBINSON ABORT ABORT HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIFE what Mom? Oh, sorry, got turned around there for a minute. Hey, plant. ‘Sup? Catch ya later, gotta canter.

K Collected canter left lead. F-X Half pass left. I Half circle left 10m. S-F Flying change of lead near centerline.

JR: Ok, I just want to go on the record saying that I did about a million perfectly clean changes to the right in the arena. They’ve been a struggle for me, and I’m really proud of all I’ve learned. Ready? OK. KAPOW! SHAZAM! JAZZ HANDS!


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K-X Half pass right. I Half circle right 10m. R-K Flying change of lead near centerline.

JR: GOD MOM, I was just having a little fun. Take a chill pill. Here’s your perfectly clean and quiet change, you killjoy. Oh hey, plant! You are a fine looking plant.

F-M Extended canter.


H Collected trot. E turn left. X turn left. G Halt, salute.

JR: OH MAN OH MAN one more square halt!! Didja see, Lilo?! Didja see it? Maybe I should trumpet the Song of my People one more time, just in case.

So we ended up with a 67.94 percent, with room for improvement. Not bad, Jonathan. But maybe next time less singing?

JR: That seems unlikely.

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