I wish I could be one of those super-chic travelers I always see in photos on Pinterest.

I try. I pack light. I wear black. I bring a scarf that I endeavor to wrap in an effortless-looking (but in fact highly labor intensive) way. I avoid velour sweatpants with slogans plastered across the bum at all costs. I try not to loll about in the seats at the gate, limbs akimbo and feet propped on tables that are meant for people’s food.

I’d gotten a lot of beyond-belief emails in my tenure at the Chronicle, but this was a first.

The craziest emails always seem to come on Monday mornings. Most of us try to stay up-to-date with our work correspondence over the weekends, so it’s not a matter of weird messages piling up over a few days off. By a strange twist of fate, they all just seem to flood in on Monday mornings of their own accord.