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The grieving process... Jingles for my sanity... Puppies!

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  • The grieving process... Jingles for my sanity... Puppies!

    Puppies are here - Post 35

    In a horrific and utterly unexpected accident my aging father in law caused the death of my heart dog... And as you know when I say heart dog I mean a piece of my heart died along with my furball.

    It has been nearly a week and I think I have experienced so many aspects of grief - denial, anger, crushing depression... Derby Day was the first day I tried being social and had a few drinks, just enough to be a little tipsy. Well, that didn't end well... I broke down at the restaurante, DH had to drive me home and suffer through those big crocodile, wailing tears all the way there.

    I just don't feel like I'll be the same. I don't have kids and this dog was my baby. Some of you may remember him because he was the ring bearer at my wedding and I did a whole thread on it: http://www.chronofhorse.com/forum/sh...ht=brag+aussie

    Jingles/suggestions to feel better would be very appreciated. I feel completely depressed and was just not prepared to have my baby taken from me so early. He turned 5 in March and we would have had him 5 years in about 2 weeks.
    Last edited by OveroHunter; May. 28, 2013, 10:45 AM.
    Southern Cross Guest Ranch
    An All Inclusive Guest Ranch Vacation - Georgia

  • #2
    I am so sorry you lost your heart dog, especially so unexpectedly. I lost my heart kitty about two years ago, she was healthy and playing one minute and dropped dead on the floor of the kitchen. My husband and I were a mess for weeks and weeks. Just let yourself grieve the loss and don't worry time eases it, it really does.


    • #3
      *sucks in breath*

      I am so sorry. I sososo wish I could make this easier for you. Many hugs.

      Unfortunately we all grieve differently and grief will go when it goes. The sadness will only dissipate with time. When I lost my two boy a few years ago, the first week was the worst, tho it took me a month or so to begin to surface and not avoid thinking/talking about them due to the hurt. I wish you speed to that point and comfort till you get there.


      • #4
        Oh, so very, very sorry. How tragic. HUGS to you and many jingles for your sanity. Hang in there.
        What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!


        • #5
          I`m so sorry for your loss.

          I put my 10 yr old girl to sleep last month and the loss is staggering. Shade was my companion She was so healthy all her life and now she is just - gone.

          I hope you find some peace


          • #6
            Huge, huge hugs.

            There isn't a whole lot you can do other than to just ride it out. Everyone grieves very, very differently and me telling you what helped me won't necessarily help you. Allow yourself to be sad and to cry. At some point, you'll start to come out of it.

            I do strongly encourage sticking with people who will GET IT. There is nothing worse than being in the midst of a major grief for a beloved animal and have someone say "it was just a dog." Those people are the worst and are to be avoided at all costs until you feel like you are solidly back on your feet.

            Seriously, I am so sorry.


            • #7
              I've lost my four legged soul mate unexpectedly and at a young age twice in my life. Both times have been devastating. All I can say is give yourself lots of time. Years later, both still break my heart but at least now I can think of how fortunate I was to have them for a little while. Sending hugs!
              Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Goethe


              • Original Poster

                Originally posted by Holly Jeanne View Post
                I've lost my four legged soul mate unexpectedly and at a young age twice in my life. Both times have been devastating. All I can say is give yourself lots of time. Years later, both still break my heart but at least now I can think of how fortunate I was to have them for a little while. Sending hugs!
                Thank you Holly. I think that he was so young and that it was so unexpected are the two things I just can't get over. He was so healthy and full of life.

                I really appreciate everyone's kind words. There have only been a few toxic people who say he's just a dog.
                Southern Cross Guest Ranch
                An All Inclusive Guest Ranch Vacation - Georgia


                • #9
                  I have said it before but wanted to share that the only thing besides time that really helped me when I lost my first heart dog at almost 16 years old was www.petloss.com

                  I guarantee that you will get the support and understanding that you crave and people will actually encourage you share your stories and feelings as much as you feel up to. Right now it is just too raw for any real healing to begin but it will come eventually. I knew I was getting better when I stopped counting the days, that were actually months by that time. Godspeed.
                  McDowell Racing Stables

                  Home Away From Home


                  • #10
                    I recently had a scare with my 3 yo female, and just the thought of losing a dog that young seemed too much to bear. Losing any pet is devastating, losing them well before their time is just salt on the wound...

                    Only time & sharing with those who care & understand can help. One day at a time... if that's too much, one hour at a time... it will always hurt but get easier to bear.



                    • #11
                      Overohunter, I am so very sorry. I know exactly what you are going through, I lost my heart-of-hearts dog a day after her 6th birthday in a horrible and unexpected way, which in my worst moments even now, I can still blame myself for She would have been 9 this July 15, and though it is easier now, just last week I "went there" while in the shower and cried and sobbed like a baby again. I miss her still, so terribly much, even though my life is filled with dogs including my own 4.

                      I believe that some day she will come back to me in some form. That's my story and I'm sticking to it with fervent hope.

                      Big bear hugs and lots of Kleenex to you.


                      • #12


                        • #13
                          Overo, I am so sorry! There's really nothing that can be said, no advice we can offer that will be exactly right to help you. We can, however, empathize and know our pets are more than "just a dog," especially our heart ones.
                          Jake left us in a tragic way at around 4-years. While I had nothing to do with it, I will never forgive myself since the last words he heard from me (after he "helped" unload my two horses from the trailer and just would NOT listen that day) were "go away, Jake. You're a bad dog!" Next thing I knew...
                          That was 13-years ago. I still find myself bawling my eyes out over him! But the immediate pain has long passed. We never actually heal, but we also don't stay in the desperate grief process forever (thank God!).
                          Many, MANY hugs to you!! Never be afraid to cry on our shoulders. We get it.
                          "IT'S NOT THE MOUNTAIN WE CONQUER, BUT OURSELVES." SIR EDMUND HILLARYMember of the "Someone Special To Me Serves In The Military" Clique


                          • #14
                            Your poor FIL must feel SO horrible, too.
                            What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!


                            • #15
                              hugs to you.... It's never easy, especially when it comes as such a shock. Don't feel bad about grieving, and reach out to friends and family when you need to!


                              • #16
                                I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I think you should give yourself time to grieve and be horribly sad. Losing a beloved pet is hard enough, but to do it so unexpectedly is very rough.

                                Be kind to yourself. And give yourself the time and room to grieve. I lost my 8.5 year old German Shepherd Dog almost exactly a year ago. He was out playing with my adult son, who was visiting, and 20 minutes later he was laying dead at the emergency vet. We had no idea he had hermangiosarcoma until he collapsed, had a seizure and died.

                                It will be a year soon, and I still get choked up sometimes. Go easy on yourself, and know that it will take the time it takes.

                                Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you.


                                • Original Poster

                                  Originally posted by oliverreed View Post
                                  Your poor FIL must feel SO horrible, too.
                                  It has been so horrible on him. He absolutely loved Bocephus and would never ever cause any animal harm. I think he wishes it was him instead of the dog. I have made sure to tell him that I forgive him and love him, but a small piece of me will forever blame him for what happened I just keep reminding myself it was just an accident.
                                  Southern Cross Guest Ranch
                                  An All Inclusive Guest Ranch Vacation - Georgia


                                  • #18
                                    I am so sorry. Don't be afraid to talk to a counselor - it can help. Don't listen to any insensitive person who utters the phrase "just a dog." I also feel for your father in law. I had a dog that died very young in an accident, and it was very difficult. There are still times when it is difficult, and it has been over 10 years. It is very difficult when they are young and when you wish you could just go back to one moment in time and prevent a tragedy from happening. I know only because I've been there, too.


                                    • #19
                                      It just takes a long time. I'm so sorry. It will get better, but some part of it will always hurt.


                                      • #20
                                        My heart is breaking for you. My fiance' didn't cause my heart dog's death, but he was responsible for her falling/rolling off a 15' staircase which dislocated her hip which didn't heal properly causing causing the last 1 year of her life to be lived in pain. I don't hold it against him...most of the time....

                                        It does get better, in its own time and in your own time. That's about all the comfort I can give you.
                                        ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
                                        Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

                                        "Life is merrier with a terrier!"