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Suggestions for dealing with a most hated cat...

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  • Suggestions for dealing with a most hated cat...

    I have had said cat for almost 3 years...she was someone's cast-off and then being cast-off from the next place when we happened upon her and offered her a place as "barn cat" since our barn cat had died. And regretted it almost the entire time....

    Unfortunately (for me) she was not happy as a barn cat, because she had obviously been a house cat. She likes the barn, and the house, but each only for a short time. Which is why she is the most hated cat.

    She goes in an out of the house all day long, and all night. No matter where she starts, she wants a change of location every 3-4 hours. So she will go out at 10pm, and cry at the door at 2am. If I let her in, she is thrilled, but at 5:30 will cry at the bedroom door until she is let out again.

    Water bottles are ineffective because she is smart and runs away when she hears you (nothing like chasing a cat around the house at 2am in the dark ) . Dh is not keen on a cat door because we would need a double - through a mud room; or a single one through a custom-made front door. He is also worried about other animals getting in through the cat flap (does this happen?)

    Need ideas soon or I might kill her with my bare hands. If she had any other redeeming qualities it might not be so bad, but she isn't friendly (not unfriendly, just aloof), and even my other animals dislike her.

    Any ideas? Giving her away seems unfair (to the next owner) because she is just so annoying!

  • #2
    Wow. Maybe do her a favor and find her someone who doesn't hate her and find her annoying.

    Paula
    He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).

    Comment


    • #3
      Yes, other animals do come in through pet doors. A friend of a friend had a cat door from the laundry room to the back yard, because his cat would go into the back yard to hang out sometimes. He also kept a water bowl and dry food bowl in the laundry room, but the cat would scatter the food, and roaches would come to visit. In broad daylight he heard the cat hitting the bowl, opened the door to tell the cat to stop it, and was shocked to see a skunk had dropped in for lunch. He closed the door, the skunk left, and that was the end of the kitty door. You can also get other people's animals drop in also.
      You can't fix stupid-Ron White

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        #4
        Originally posted by paulaedwina View Post
        Wow. Maybe do her a favor and find her someone who doesn't hate her and find her annoying.

        Paula
        Wow, you are so helpful. Do you have any actual suggestions or you just want to be a troll?

        I wouldn't hate this cat if she didn't wake me up 3 times a night.

        Comment


        • #5
          I hate to say this, but I think kitty has trained you to be accommodating of her every wish. What about crating her at night or containing her somewhere far away from your bedroom so you can sleep and she'll eventually learn that bedtime is not for waking humans.

          I don't always agree with paulaedwina, but she does have a point. I volunteer regularly for a cat rescue. You might want to talk to a local group or two and tell them her story. They may have a foster home who would be a better fit and could gently transform most hated cat into an adoptable creature.
          Flip a coin. It's not what side lands that matters, but what side you were hoping for when the coin was still in the air.

          You call it boxed wine. I call it carboardeaux.

          Comment


          • #6
            I was adopted by an abandoned cat. He kept me awake with his night time prowling, playing and snuggling. He is now crated in the living room at night. He has acclimated to the crate that is equipped with bed and litter box.
            Last edited by yankeeclipper; Apr. 9, 2013, 09:48 AM. Reason: spelling error
            \"You have two choices when a defining moment comes along - you can either define the moment, or let the moment define you.\" Tin Cup

            Comment


            • #7
              They make cat doors that fit right into windows, if you have any nice ground floor windows. They pop in and out, super easy, no nails or anything needed. It helps if you put a chair or something outside so that they can easily hop back in without clawing the siding.

              Being up in the window will discourage skunks/raccoons.

              Comment


              • #8
                They also make pet doors that only open to a specific signal, the cat wears a little collar with the transmitter in it.

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  #9
                  Originally posted by jen-s View Post
                  I hate to say this, but I think kitty has trained you to be accommodating of her every wish. What about crating her at night or containing her somewhere far away from your bedroom so you can sleep and she'll eventually learn that bedtime is not for waking humans.

                  I don't always agree with paulaedwina, but she does have a point. I volunteer regularly for a cat rescue. You might want to talk to a local group or two and tell them her story. They may have a foster home who would be a better fit and could gently transform most hated cat into an adoptable creature.
                  I agree to some extent that she has been trained to act this way. Partly because I would be able to ignore her nighttime howling for a few days if I thought it would change her behavior, but my dh (who doesn't even like cats) is far less tolerant. However, MOST of the time she does not get her wish, she just makes me angry. But at 5:45 when it is already light and the dogs want to get up anyway, it's very hard not to get up and let them all out, rather than have my entire household up before 6am and seething.

                  The window cat doors are a good idea; I did not know they made them. They sound far less permanent in the event the cat can't figure it out (another worry about damaging a good door only to find the cat is afraid to go through it). Both my cats would love to go in and out of my kitchen window, but since it is over the sink it's not a good idea (e.g. sometimes have food prep going on in the sink and don't want cat hair in it). But there is one other window that might work; or possibly having the cat door/window go into the mudroom only. Something to consider...

                  A foster home is a possibility...I just wonder who would be willing. "Free to good home: unfriendly, demanding cat that requires indoor/outdoor life and full-time doorman."

                  I don't really hate the cat - I hate the behavior. I like cats in general. My other cat is great; she also goes in and out, but is very happy to sleep all night undisturbed.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I’m usually on the animal’s side but I wouldn’t have much appreciation for a cat who wants a change of scenery every few hours, 365 days a year.

                    That said, not sure a pet door will solve the problem. She might be doing this as a way to socialize with you the only way she knows how. I have one that came from a hoarding situation and as friendly as she wants to be, she does it all “wrong”. Will bite (gently but purposefully) or give a nasty swat to indicate she wants to be petted. If you don’t pet her in the right spot/fast enough/rough or gently enough depending on her mood she either launches off your lap, that she demanded to be in, or gets rougher with the biting. I have about 3 seconds to figure out what she wants or it’s one more bad interaction in her mind. We’ve had her for more than 2 years and things have gotten only minimally better but she doesn’t cause problems otherwise and is sweet as can be with strangers. We lost her cat friend in January and she immediately started getting even more testy so we found her a new friend that is perfect for us and things have settled back down. In her case, being the “other” cat is less stressful.

                    Perhaps your cat doesn’t really need to go in/out and just wants attention? I would try ignoring the cries and treating to distract for a few days and see if you can change the pattern.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Houndhill View Post
                      They also make pet doors that only open to a specific signal, the cat wears a little collar with the transmitter in it.
                      Ooh, that is genius. I have a cousin in the PNW who has raccoons regularly accessing her kitchen through the cat door. My cousin is a little demented (in a nice way) and encourages this by feeding them in the kitchen. I don't know if they'd do it otherwise.

                      But still, I like the idea of a limited-access cat door.

                      Not that my cats can go out - we have kittehivorous predators at our farm.
                      I'm not ignoring the rules. I'm interpreting the rules. Tamal, The Great British Baking Show

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        #12
                        CGPL - an interesting theory. She is similar. She will follow you around, plop down in front of you, purr madly and allow you to admire her. If you attempt to pet her, you might get in a little pat, but then she meows and jumps up and walks away. Sometimes if she is sleeping in a chair, I can scoop her up and put her on my lap. She protests, but then remembers that she sometimes likes it, and will happily purr and let you pet her. My father, who loves cats, is terribly frustrated that she won't come to him or allow him to pet her. She's not afraid, she doesn't want the touching.

                        This morning, after meowing to get us up, she just sat on the deck when I had the dogs out, as if she were just bored and wanted company. Maybe there is something to that; I can try to see if giving her attention will help...

                        Dh is also traveling later this month so if there is something to try...that will be the time.

                        I have no idea where she came from, but I suspect she got passed around a bit before I came along. She's a strange one, though. We had a fairly unfriendly barn cat which was perfect for the barn; she had been adopted by a friend who thought they could retrain her to be more friendly but she never changed. Too bad she wasn't more street savvy because she was hit by a car not far from here.

                        Alternatively, this cat seems to have more street smarts than most cats, and is not friendly but not afraid or shy. Just not a very fun pet.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Friends of ours do the "cat door in a window" thing and it works really, really well for them. They also have a cat who gets claustrophobic... if he perceives he's locked in the house for more than his threshold amount of time, he destroys something. His hit list includes a computer, many curtains, several screens, a leather sofa... anyway, they bought a cat door at the pet store, mounted it in a piece of plywood cut to fit the opening in their window, and built a ramp up to it from the outside and parked a chair underneath on the inside. There's a piece of blue styrofoam insulation glued to the plywood, and they can open the window or close it without moving the cat door insert. It does draw a lot of heat out in winter... I also know someone who put a cat door in a basement window, so kitty jumped down into the window well and into the basement where there was a dresser parked so it wasn't so far to jump down. Doesn't draw so much heat, but I'd be a little worried about meeting something besides my kitty in a dark corner of the basement...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Does she play? DaBird is excellent for getting excess energy out. My cats will play with it til they drop and pant

                            How about a rousing play session every evening, followed by a snack? Sometimes if you wear them out enough (play, I mean, not physically wearing them out) and then give them a snack they're more apt to sleep through the night. Especially if it's a routine.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Your cat is basically unbroke. Yes, she wants a relationship with you, but no, it has not occurred to her that you are more than a doorman and masseuse that she rings up when she wants something.

                              On one hand, you need to harden your heart (and your ears) for longer than you think is reasonable. Put her in a crate or outside and ignore her during the night.

                              And the other, more direct version of the same point can be made by you capturing her and holding her for as long as it takes for her to give the F up.

                              In both cases, she needs to learn that you are the Lord who Giveth and Taketh Away. She needs to appreciate your power and submit to it.

                              In order to get that done, you must inconvenience her for a long time. A cat inconvenienced for a long time is the equivalent of a horse having a Come To Jesus meeting that is much shorter and more violent.
                              The armchair saddler
                              Politically Pro-Cat

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by S1969 View Post
                                A foster home is a possibility...I just wonder who would be willing. "Free to good home: unfriendly, demanding cat that requires indoor/outdoor life and full-time doorman."
                                You might be surprised. Some of our foster families take creatures that I wouldn't consider even remotely acceptable, but they use their cat skillz and many times, the kitties turn out to be decent citizens. If she's up-to-date on vet care, then she'll be an easier placement.

                                You might also talk to your vet. There are mood-altering substances that might mellow her some. Feliway is a pheromone product. Rescue Remedy is herbal/holistic. There's also options like Prozac. She doesn't really sound anxious or depressed though.

                                I think upping the attention, pets, toys, praise--talk to her lots, treats, etc might help her bond. And since no one else has mentioned it that I've seen, some kitties just don't thrive as only kitties. I know, I know! The last thing you want is another, but a super mellow, cuddle bug might be what she needs to learn appropriate cat/human interaction. (Don't shoot the messenger!)
                                Flip a coin. It's not what side lands that matters, but what side you were hoping for when the coin was still in the air.

                                You call it boxed wine. I call it carboardeaux.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by pAin't_Misbehavin' View Post
                                  Ooh, that is genius. I have a cousin in the PNW who has raccoons regularly accessing her kitchen through the cat door. My cousin is a little demented (in a nice way) and encourages this by feeding them in the kitchen. I don't know if they'd do it otherwise.

                                  But still, I like the idea of a limited-access cat door.

                                  Not that my cats can go out - we have kittehivorous predators at our farm.
                                  ya know, I do not often actually pause when I read a post, but this little bit about feeding racoons in her kitchen......

                                  she's lucky there have been no nasty ones or ones who refused to leave.

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    OP, cats are just like every other animal, they do what works. It's up to you to find what she likes and what she doesn't like and then use that appropriately.

                                    Also, do you feed meals or is she free fed? If she is free fed, I'd stop that and make her work for a bit of food. Getting a small cardboard box and using that for a station is what I started with, taught each of our cats to get up on it and stay there. See link below
                                    https://www.facebook.com/media/set/e...25.1579830660/
                                    then expand that to using her food to tire her out mentally before bed.

                                    Other ideas: DD cat wanted to play with her feet under the covers. DD HATES having her feet touched. So she kept a moist paper towel in a baggy on her night stand and when the cat began to play, she gently picked her up and wiped her face several times. It took 2 nights for the cat to make the association between playing with feet and wet face. It was non-confrontational and worked. So every time the cat vocalizes inappropriately you can get up and wet her face. I would bet that pretty soon, Cat will start to vocalize>hear you>quit.

                                    Use a crate and put said crate in a cardboard box for sound insulation. Cat vocalizes>pick her up/deposit in crate>go back to bed. Vocalizing = crate.

                                    She hates to be petted? Vocalize = pick up and snuggle for count of 5 or 10.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by mvp View Post
                                      And the other, more direct version of the same point can be made by you capturing her and holding her for as long as it takes for her to give the F up.

                                      In both cases, she needs to learn that you are the Lord who Giveth and Taketh Away. She needs to appreciate your power and submit to it.
                                      I don’t agree with that. Some animals (and humans) are hard wired to be aloof and some learn to be that way by early mismanagement. My cat has come a long way but forcing her to accept love on our terms would be torture. A hug doesn’t mean the same thing to her as it would a “normal” cat so we’ve found alternative ways to interact.

                                      Here’s a video of our newest cat being especially frisky. He’s the laziest thing ever so it was worth recording. I called for her to join in but you can see her slink by and avoid the feathers halfway through. She’s usually more friendly but I’ve never gotten her to play (with people) and any snuggling has to be initiated by her. Right now she’s lying on her back next to my monitor to be near me but bites if I try to pet her forehead.

                                      PS – The meowing is from a clock I got to annoy my husband every hour.

                                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaYNAJ35bG4

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by threedogpack View Post
                                        ya know, I do not often actually pause when I read a post, but this little bit about feeding racoons in her kitchen......

                                        she's lucky there have been no nasty ones or ones who refused to leave.
                                        I know, right? But the coons all seem to know the drill. They come in, eat, and leave. I can't imagine what my cousin's cats are thinking while this is going on.
                                        I'm not ignoring the rules. I'm interpreting the rules. Tamal, The Great British Baking Show

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