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At wit's end with DH's cat!

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  • Original Poster

    #41
    Originally posted by 2ndyrgal View Post
    Really honey, after 12 years, you've kind of allowed this to just be the way it is, by your inaction.
    DH got cat as a kitten, I didn't come into the picture until cat was 7 or 8. Cat was spraying before I ever even saw this house. I'M the one that took cat to the vet(multiple trips) and researched/experimented to try to alleviate the issues. From 1 tiny litter box to 4 giant ones, crappy bargain bin dry food to decent dry (working on wet, the little one has a sensitive GI tract), 3 different types of antidepressants, 3 Feliway air fresheners(one on each level) and handheld, actually using enzyme cleaner to hit all the marked areas, scrubbing 2 floors of the house on my hands and knees to get rid of any smell (yet it still comes out in the humid summer!) all for 1 cat...

    I can only do so much for a cat I am not fond of, I do give cuddles when I'm sitting on the couch and all 3 love MY side of the bed at night, Eddie likes to wrap around my head and purr incessantly. The other two cats, Lucy who is 10 and pre-me as well, and Roxie, who is 3 we got together, seem to learn at an advanced rate comparatively. Neither of their actions seem to get me riled up because for the most part they understand the boundaries I have set and don't push it.

    Just looking back at his interactions with different animals, it's clear DH just wants a stuffed toy to pet and not have to actually make an effort other than feeding. I have no idea where this comes from, he supposedly grew up with cats...

    Comment


    • #42
      OP it sounds like you have done a ton to try and improve the quality of life for this cat. Is there any chance your DH would seriously consider rehoming the cat?

      Comment


      • #43
        This isn't a cat that is likely to be suitable for rehoming.

        You've got the right number of litter boxes for the number of cats, but they need to be distributed throughout the home. As others have said, with the history of declawing, you likely need to play around with litter types. Some folks have success using pee pads for dogs as the litterbox substrate.

        Yes, the grabbing food off the counter is annoying, but it is typical cat behavior for a cat who wasn't trained young. I have two that were adopted as adults, we just use the microwave to keep food safe when cooling/defrosting.

        As for the spraying, I think you identified one likely route cause when you mentioned that ferals roam near your house. Many cats find feral cats near their home very stressful and will spray as a consequence. Confining Eddie to the second floor away from windows that ferals might stroll pass may be helpful. The long-standing nature of the behavior is likely to make it more challenging to train. You can also schedule an appointment with a veterinary behaviorist to address his issues.

        Comment


        • #44
          http://www.thecatbehaviorclinic.com/
          The Sempiternal Horse

          Comment


          • #45
            Originally posted by SuckerForHorses View Post
            I disagree with this. My boyfriends parents had a cat that would ONLY piss on his stepdad's shoes after he would boot it off the counter.

            Cat caught on counter, step dad would boot it off to the floor.
            Next day, step dad's shoe had been pissed in.
            Guilty cat was nowhere to be found.

            It ONLY happened after that cat got scolded. That's a spiteful cat.
            Animals don't have the ability to be spiteful. they lack the ability to plan, and don't have a concept of getting even. Most likely it was a reaction to stress.

            Comment


            • #46
              I
              Originally posted by Heliodoro View Post
              DH got cat as a kitten, I didn't come into the picture until cat was 7 or 8. Cat was spraying before I ever even saw this house. I'M the one that took cat to the vet(multiple trips) and researched/experimented to try to alleviate the issues. From 1 tiny litter box to 4 giant ones, crappy bargain bin dry food to decent dry (working on wet, the little one has a sensitive GI tract), 3 different types of antidepressants, 3 Feliway air fresheners(one on each level) and handheld, actually using enzyme cleaner to hit all the marked areas, scrubbing 2 floors of the house on my hands and knees to get rid of any smell (yet it still comes out in the humid summer!) all for 1 cat...

              I can only do so much for a cat I am not fond of, I do give cuddles when I'm sitting on the couch and all 3 love MY side of the bed at night, Eddie likes to wrap around my head and purr incessantly. The other two cats, Lucy who is 10 and pre-me as well, and Roxie, who is 3 we got together, seem to learn at an advanced rate comparatively. Neither of their actions seem to get me riled up because for the most part they understand the boundaries I have set and don't push it.

              Just looking back at his interactions with different animals, it's clear DH just wants a stuffed toy to pet and not have to actually make an effort other than feeding. I have no idea where this comes from, he supposedly grew up with cats...
              I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. But honestly, the cat doesn't sound like an easy one to rehire and from the post above, it seems you knew full well what you were getting into and signed up for this lifestyle. I hope DH is a nicer, more compassionate guy than you're making him sound like in this thread. Good luck to you and kitty.

              Comment


              • #47
                As you are in Western New York, Lollypop Farm has some excellent articles on line, plus a pet help line you can call for assistance. http://www.lollypop.org/site/c.clKUI...ior_Advice.htm
                If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.
                Desmond Tutu

                Comment


                • #48
                  Originally posted by SuckerForHorses View Post
                  Cat caught on counter, step dad would boot it off to the floor.
                  Next day, step dad's shoe had been pissed in.
                  Guilty cat was nowhere to be found.

                  It ONLY happened after that cat got scolded. That's a spiteful cat.
                  Let's get clear on some human concepts applied here.

                  "Guilt" in the sense of "you broke the law" is a concept that animals can get in a limited sense. The don't do "guilt" in the sense of our kind of remorse. (This also isn't to say that they don't do empathy. They do, but it had to be taught-- as in momma cat who teaches baby when it's ok to play using claws and when it is not-- that those bad boys hurt!).

                  The really don't do "spite"-- as in "I'm going to do this just to screw you." The big egoed ones *do* have a sense of justice. More often than not, it will look twisted to us. It's not to the animal.

                  Originally posted by jetsmom View Post
                  Animals don't have the ability to be spiteful. they lack the ability to plan, and don't have a concept of getting even.

                  The big-egoed and smart ones have a sense of getting even. They can hold a grudge. But all that is is intelligence plus a sense of justice plus a long memory.

                  So the question is: Why would a cat take a stand on justice? After all, being a cop and enforcing some law as an end in itself is just.work. But the cat does it because he thinks he has lost something big and important-- something life and death (even if it's emotional) by consenting to accept his sentence. He often knows what boot-on-butt was for. But he disagrees with a few things he saw in the punishment:

                  He thought the unilateral No was not the kind of equality he signed up for in the relationship.

                  He thought cat-on-counter was normal operating procedure. So Booter had broken the social contract, and did so without warning or warrant.

                  He says "Yeah, I know it was wrong so sue me.... but Jesus! Corporal punishment. Really? That's outtaline."

                  The piss on the booter's boot consistently after the fact is a pretty articulate and reasoned response. This isn't a terrorist, out-of-the-blue move.

                  It's not rocket science, people, but it takes a lot of thought to deal with cats--- just the same amount you'd apply to any adult.
                  The armchair saddler
                  Politically Pro-Cat

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