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What is WRONG with my squirrels?!!

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  • What is WRONG with my squirrels?!!

    don't these idiots know by now that the cats actually do mean business and their invitation to playtime are NOT NICE?!

    I have lost count, really...finding a live chipmunk in my bed, not sure if cat thought I needed nurishment or training in the practical arts...
    I found plenty of dead ones.

    I sad in the bathroom and watched Chippy ever so nonchalantly walk in under the door....
    I tried to get him out alive, alas a little while later I found a dead little guy...

    night before yesterday I am crawling around the bedroom to find the source of the stench of death...I find a huge squirrel very dead in the closet....

    no sooner do I dispose of it, does Queen Cat deliver a replacement...heaven only knows why she wanted to put it into my duffle bag I just had on a trip with me. Thankfully it was empty and flattened....and I saw her bring it in...the squirrel was almost have the size of the little cat!

    So far I think they offed about 10 of those rats in the last month or two....does the population not grow any wiser? all the dumb ones must be killed off by now for sure!

    Add to this this mornings scenario: I see something dark brown scuttle through the kitchen, something bigger copper red right behind....
    Yep, Chippy the millionth going for his courage badge I guess...

    What to do?
    I grab the next best thing, a collander out of the sink...
    'bring him over here' I tell the cat who looks at me with a quizical look (are you not well, Lady?) while she is sniffing on the chipmunk....a little running, and I am successful in tossing the colander over the critter....(the beasties are pretty strong...I could feel it when i had my hand on the plastic, he was trying to get out)

    With a piece of cardboard, I manage to get him out, a la bee in a cup....

    I should have probably looked outside though before I released him: The next thing I see out of the corner of my eyes is the fallen leaf colored Tom chasing after the little fellow....

    I really didn't mean to do that!

  • #2
    Maybe they have just gone nuts....someone had to say it.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!

    Comment


    • #3
      Our outdoor cats seem to have a serious taste for red squirrels--like, will pass on easier prey to get them. And they eat the WHOLE THING, just leaving a tail. I think squirrels must be 1. dumb and 2. really tasty or something.
      Author Page
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      Steampunk Sweethearts

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      • #4
        The problem is that you suck at hunting, and your cat, like any parent, has wildly over-estimated your abilities.

        See, cats bring "practice prey" to their babies-- fully dead ones to the young kittens, ones who are crippled but who need the final blow to older ones, sorta-live ones to the 7th-graders. You get the idea.

        So when your cats are bringing big, live animals to you, they mean well, but they are screwing up on the parenting front.

        Maybe you could get a tutor to help you catch up to grade-level expectations?
        The armchair saddler
        Politically Pro-Cat

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        • Original Poster

          #5
          Originally posted by mvp View Post
          The problem is that you suck at hunting, and your cat, like any parent, has wildly over-estimated your abilities.

          See, cats bring "practice prey" to their babies-- fully dead ones to the young kittens, ones who are crippled but who need the final blow to older ones, sorta-live ones to the 7th-graders. You get the idea.

          So when your cats are bringing big, live animals to you, they mean well, but they are screwing up on the parenting front.

          Maybe you could get a tutor to help you catch up to grade-level expectations?
          Duh!

          That's right!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Alagirl View Post
            Duh!

            That's right!
            And bringing them to your bed is the sign of a parent worried about your work ethic. Maybe you should spend more time outside with your cats. Look willing to learn.
            The armchair saddler
            Politically Pro-Cat

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            • Original Poster

              #7
              Originally posted by mvp View Post
              And bringing them to your bed is the sign of a parent worried about your work ethic. Maybe you should spend more time outside with your cats. Look willing to learn.


              (are you behind me?)

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by danceronice View Post
                Our outdoor cats seem to have a serious taste for red squirrels--like, will pass on easier prey to get them. And they eat the WHOLE THING, just leaving a tail. I think squirrels must be 1. dumb and 2. really tasty or something.
                Mine do the same thing. I kept flinging a squirrel tail in the woods and the cats kept putting it back on the door mat. Blah!
                "Dogs are man's best friend. Cats are man's adorable little serial killer." -- theoatmeal.com

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                • #9
                  Good going...you're feeding raw and don't have to do the prep!

                  My lovely barn cat leaves kidneys on the back door mat. Almost every morning the last couple of weeks. Her offering to me, I guess.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Haha mine think squirrel brain is tasty. The main hunter always eats the brain first. I find a little squirrel quietly laying there looking fine and in one piece, turn him over - NOPE - big hole in the back of his head. GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSS he got trained by the master squirrel hunter that used to fully decapitate them at a previous barn. He must be confident in my hunting abilites - I am never brought any leftovers and am greeted with growling and snarling if I try and rescue the current prize. He does leave an organ laying around sometimes, I am guessing it is a gallbladder but could be a kidney. Not left as a present just randomly discovered.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Good kittys!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You all's cats are a bunch of savages. Savages!!

                        Seriously I wish my cats would get off the bed long enough to go outside and catch something or really, do anything that makes them worthwhile to feed.
                        My blog: Crackerdog Farm

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                        • #13
                          Alagirl-I'm sure the Tom cat appreciated your catered lunch for him. And I bet your cat is steamed at you, because you gave away her lunch.
                          You can't fix stupid-Ron White

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                          • #14
                            yes Crackerdog, they are. The squirrel killer specializes in them. The other one specializes in voles. I am willing to rent her out to gardeners! When we moved here the yard was a mess of tunnels and soft spots. Not anymore - she will sit for HOURS watching, listening and not moving until they slip up. Unfortunately she is not much on eating them. They get tortured, partially disenboweled and left on the door mat for me. She also like to bring me live snakes. Let's just say you never go out my door in a hurry - always look before you step! We also have lots of blue-tailed lizards with no tails

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by alabama View Post
                              Mine do the same thing. I kept flinging a squirrel tail in the woods and the cats kept putting it back on the door mat. Blah!
                              Build a trophy room for them. That's what they are asking for.

                              One of the nicest, purring-est barn cats ever used to present an array of trophies to her family each morning-- neatly arrayed in a half-circle in front of the back door of their house. No one could miss it.
                              The armchair saddler
                              Politically Pro-Cat

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by abbydp View Post
                                Unfortunately she is not much on eating them. They get tortured, partially disenboweled and left on the door mat for me.(
                                It's fortunate that your vole specialist doesn't eat 'em. Voles make cats puke. Usually, that's done inside. You hunter has learned the ropes. Can you pay her in a different currency?
                                The armchair saddler
                                Politically Pro-Cat

                                Comment

                                • Original Poster

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by JanM View Post
                                  Alagirl-I'm sure the Tom cat appreciated your catered lunch for him. And I bet your cat is steamed at you, because you gave away her lunch.
                                  The Princess seemed to be more curious. She prefers Tuna. I bet she's be the first in the boat going out to catch some!

                                  But she can off the little critters, too!
                                  The Queen brought a little mouse in to play with for a little. It got under a rolling cart, so I picked the thing up. Mouse scadaddles, next thing I know, it is very dead. Hanging from the Princess's mouth.

                                  but you could see the disgust in the Queen's face!
                                  In the end, the Tom had the most fun with Mousie....oh the boys....

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    The cats are bringing you a gift.

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by nashfad View Post
                                      The cats are bringing you a gift.
                                      I know.
                                      but sometimes it's like a Mother-in-Law gift...a not so hidden hint, like waving with a fence post....

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by abbydp View Post
                                        yes Crackerdog, they are. The squirrel killer specializes in them. The other one specializes in voles. I am willing to rent her out to gardeners! When we moved here the yard was a mess of tunnels and soft spots. Not anymore - she will sit for HOURS watching, listening and not moving until they slip up. Unfortunately she is not much on eating them. They get tortured, partially disenboweled and left on the door mat for me. She also like to bring me live snakes. Let's just say you never go out my door in a hurry - always look before you step! We also have lots of blue-tailed lizards with no tails
                                        Mine won't eat the voles either...she leaves them on the back door mat also. Either they die too fast to be fun, or they're just not as tasty as mice and birds.

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