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Need to vent - Hate my boyfriend's dog

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  • Need to vent - Hate my boyfriend's dog

    I love dogs. Love dogs. I have a small 5 pound Chinese Crested who is four years old and a 1.5 year old Standard Poodle. Both are females. I used to work from home and I spoiled my little dog. She is very needy because I used to let her sit in my lap all day. I'm trying to do better with my Poodle. She's being crate trained which is working really well. She doesn't bark and her potty training has been fairly without incident. She's still a wild and crazy puppy but very sweet and eager to please.

    Three months ago my boyfriend moved in with his dog. I'm beyond happy with my boyfriend moving in. But I hate his dog. First of all three dogs is too many damn dogs. That can't be helped and we're doing the best we can with it.

    However I do not agree with how my boyfriend has raised his dog. He hits him as discipline and I believe it has created a very anxious and nervous dog. His dog is a 7 year old border collie/Australian shepherd dog. He is completely potty trained would never have an accident and is not destructive.

    But he BARKS. A lot. At everything and nothing. He has incited my little dog to join in. The two of them are driving me crazy. He's anxious and has to be with my boyfriend at all times otherwise he whines and paces incessantly.

    I am about the world's lightest and most troubled sleeper. I can't have dogs in the bedroom with me so the dogs are in my office at night in crates. His dog does not like this new arrangement. It's been three months and he is has started getting used to being crated at night. But anything can set him off from rain, to my roommate coming home or a branch snapping and he will bark like a vicious animal. This will happen regardless of him being in the crate or the bedroom. I can not sleep. I'm wearing earplugs to bed but the barking is too damn loud.

    On top of that he barks when we walk in the door the same way. I can't stand it. I let my boyfriend try his way of yelling and smacking the dog for a while but it didn't work (I didn't think it would) and now we're trying my idea of ignoring them in the crates until they shut up for 2 minutes. Once they (my boyfriend's dog and my little dog who never used to bark) are quiet the are rewarded with being let out. Sometime it takes over an hour for the barking to stop.

    I'm sorry for the novel but I'm at my wits end. I can't stand this barking all day every day and especially when I'm trying to sleep. I'm crawling out of my skin and I've really come to hate the dog. I don't know what to do. I'm ready to have him debarked. Advice?

    (also I don't believe in hitting dogs so please no flaming about that part of my story but I can't do anything about what transpired before this relationship)

  • #2
    All dogs need a job to keep them focused and your boyfriend's specific dog-cross REALLY is the type that needs a job. Show him that playing with the dog (giving the dog a job to chase a ball or frisbee) will pay big dividends with a more secure animal that is tired at night. I don't mean play once or twice a day... I mean 6-7 times per day, 20 minutes at a time. Run that dog long and hard. Yup, a lot of work but boyfriend chose a breed that needs that kind of motivation. Once that dog is consistently tired out, day after day the bad behavior will disappear.

    Anyway, that's my take on it. Good luck!

    Comment


    • #3
      I am leery of people who hit; animals or otherwise.

      Paula
      He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).

      Comment


      • #4
        well... your patience is going to have to grow some, see that right away.

        spend more time with that dog, the boy's dog, he needs the reassurance and support.

        When he barks, give him treats. I swear. I never would have thought it would work but I think 3 dogs recommended it here (or someone did) and I started it with our anxious WTH is going on type dog and she is doing much much better. She is a very nervous anxiety type dog that doesn't play well with others but 1) exercise and 2) treats for nervous barking behavior have helped her a LOT. Barking freaky means he needs some support-give it and see how he does. Chewy pig ears type things burn off a lot of anxiety too. Spend time.

        I have five dogs and they're all doing well-3 is a cake walk. I'm a light sleeper too, just manage it and all will be well.

        Come in the door bearing treats, have treats and chew toys ready when people come in. Consider ear plugs for you.
        “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          #5
          Originally posted by paulaedwina View Post
          I am leery of people who hit; animals or otherwise.

          Paula
          I hear you but this guy is incredibly sweet. He just grew up with a different idea of how to train dogs. Hitting would be a red flag for me as well except it's completely inconsistent with everything else that makes him a wonderful boyfriend.

          He would never hit my dogs because he's know I'm not okay with it. He also knows I'm not okay with hitting children as a form of discipline either.

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            Originally posted by NEWT View Post
            All dogs need a job to keep them focused and your boyfriend's specific dog-cross REALLY is the type that needs a job. Show him that playing with the dog (giving the dog a job to chase a ball or frisbee) will pay big dividends with a more secure animal that is tired at night. I don't mean play once or twice a day... I mean 6-7 times per day, 20 minutes at a time. Run that dog long and hard. Yup, a lot of work but boyfriend chose a breed that needs that kind of motivation. Once that dog is consistently tired out, day after day the bad behavior will disappear.

            Anyway, that's my take on it. Good luck!
            This dog has zero play drive. He doesn't like to run. I have a fenced in yard and we try to play with him. He is not interested. He also does not want to play with my Poodle. She's HIGH energy and wants to fetch and play and be stimulated. He's not the kind of border collie that is bouncing off the walls desperate for a job to do or for something to stimulate his mind. All he wants to do it sit next to my boyfriend at all times. Taking him for runs or walks does nothing to alleviate the barking.

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #7
              Originally posted by cowboymom View Post
              well... your patience is going to have to grow some, see that right away.

              spend more time with that dog, the boy's dog, he needs the reassurance and support.

              When he barks, give him treats. I swear. I never would have thought it would work but I think 3 dogs recommended it here (or someone did) and I started it with our anxious WTH is going on type dog and she is doing much much better. She is a very nervous anxiety type dog that doesn't play well with others but 1) exercise and 2) treats for nervous barking behavior have helped her a LOT. Barking freaky means he needs some support-give it and see how he does. Chewy pig ears type things burn off a lot of anxiety too. Spend time.

              I have five dogs and they're all doing well-3 is a cake walk. I'm a light sleeper too, just manage it and all will be well.

              Come in the door bearing treats, have treats and chew toys ready when people come in. Consider ear plugs for you.
              I'm skeptical about treating while barking. That seems like it would reinforce the behavior not alleviate it.

              I wear ear plugs at night but this is "wake the dead" barking.

              ETA: I have tried giving him chew toys so he has something to do while in his crate. He doesn't have any interest in them. I've tried both rawhide bones and pigs ears.

              Comment


              • #8
                I was skeptical too-I'm not anymore. You can always stop it later but you might see progress intead.
                “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey

                Comment


                • #9
                  Give the dog to someone who won't hit it and lock it in a crate? It's a freaking BC/Aussie Shepard. I don't care how much you say the dog has no play drive or doesn't want a job, I'm not buying it. Perhaps your boyfriend beat him into submission and he doesn't show it but I'd bet it's there, to not be defies everything this dog was bred for.

                  Dog sounds miserable. And I don't care how sweet your man is to you, anyone that uses violence to train an animal is an asshole.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I was the one who posted about Sugar Cookies (which was a specific trigger for treating for barking)

                    Treating for barking will eliminate the barking in a normal dog if there is a known trigger.

                    If you want to diminish or eliminate the barking, the dog will have to begin to work for at least a portion of each meal. If he refuses to play the work to eat, he needs to go hungry. Can you do this? If not, then you will not have any way to make this work. If you are willing to work at this, I'll do a write up, but I have to hear that you will take a firm stance before I do.

                    More fallout will happen if you decide to do this because this dog will then transfer his affection to you and that will probably bother B/F, how do you feel about that?

                    We all have to work for the things we want. I go to work in exchange for paper (my check), the grocery store will accept paper in exchange for food goods. This dog needs a focus and he needs to work for part of every meal. Since he has never been required to work for anything....it's going to be tough at first, but if you stick with it, it works

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm sorry for the dog, but really, if someone has not been trained how to train a dog without hitting, they might simply not have the tools or knowledge to train in any other way. They might not be inherently violent.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I would not stand for having the dog hit for trying to communicate his unhappiness.
                        what a sucky person to do that.
                        www.ncsporthorse.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by showhorsegallery View Post
                          I'm skeptical about treating while barking. That seems like it would reinforce the behavior not alleviate it.
                          yes and no. In the case of the other dogs, they were treated for also removing themselves from the trigger.



                          ETA: I have tried giving him chew toys so he has something to do while in his crate. He doesn't have any interest in them. I've tried both rawhide bones and pigs ears.
                          this is probably not boredom barking, but alarm barking that is now out of control.

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster

                            #14
                            Originally posted by GaitedGloryRider View Post
                            Give the dog to someone who won't hit it and lock it in a crate? It's a freaking BC/Aussie Shepard. I don't care how much you say the dog has no play drive or doesn't want a job, I'm not buying it. Perhaps your boyfriend beat him into submission and he doesn't show it but I'd bet it's there, to not be defies everything this dog was bred for.

                            Dog sounds miserable. And I don't care how sweet your man is to you, anyone that uses violence to train an animal is an asshole.
                            You either take me for my word or you don't. This dog does not have a play drive. I throw a frisbee at him and he ducks and walks away from it. My poodle puppy tries to get him to play and he ignores her. We take him for walks which is the only thing he seems to be interested in, but he does not run around the yard which is fenced in when off leash.

                            I completely think the dog has been hit into submission and it's effecting his desire to play. I don't deny that. Seven years later I don't know what to do about it.

                            Crating a dog is not mean and has been a very effective training tool for dogs I've had in the past. He's not locked in a crate like a prisoner. It's at night.One specific rescue dog loved his crate because it made him feel secure when he got stressed.

                            My boyfriend is not an asshole. Hitting his dog isn't okay but there are people out there who have not been educated on why hitting a dog is not an effective training technique and have bought into that whole "Alpha dog" school of thought. He's not beating the dog within an inch of his life, but he has done the whole smacking on the but, scruffing the dog, pushing the dog down into the ground in a submissive position technique. Clearly that's not a good training method but again I can't do anything about what's already transpired.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              also, be aware that debarking a dog does not silence them. It makes for a squeaky, hysterical, funky bark. Barking from a debarked dog is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

                              Comment

                              • Original Poster

                                #16
                                Originally posted by threedogpack View Post
                                I was the one who posted about Sugar Cookies (which was a specific trigger for treating for barking)

                                Treating for barking will eliminate the barking in a normal dog if there is a known trigger.

                                If you want to diminish or eliminate the barking, the dog will have to begin to work for at least a portion of each meal. If he refuses to play the work to eat, he needs to go hungry. Can you do this? If not, then you will not have any way to make this work. If you are willing to work at this, I'll do a write up, but I have to hear that you will take a firm stance before I do.

                                More fallout will happen if you decide to do this because this dog will then transfer his affection to you and that will probably bother B/F, how do you feel about that?

                                We all have to work for the things we want. I go to work in exchange for paper (my check), the grocery store will accept paper in exchange for food goods. This dog needs a focus and he needs to work for part of every meal. Since he has never been required to work for anything....it's going to be tough at first, but if you stick with it, it works
                                Yes I am desperate to alleviate the barking and will try anything that seems like it would work.

                                I don't think it is boredom barking either. I think it is like you said, "Alarm Barking" that has gotten out of control PLUS barking anxiety. The dog is overly attached to my boyfriend.

                                The dog does "work" for treats. He will sit, shake and lay down for treats. He also has to wait to hear "okay" before being fed. But if there is a way to make him work for food that will also stop the barking I am all ears.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by showhorsegallery View Post
                                  I completely think the dog has been hit into submission and it's effecting his desire to play. I don't deny that. But he's not locked in a crate like a prisoner. Seven years later I don't know what to do about it.
                                  he may never love playing but you can elicit a behavior if you want it badly enough.

                                  My boyfriend is not an asshole. Hitting his dog isn't okay but there are people out there who have not been educated on why hitting a dog is not an effective training technique
                                  I'm glad he doesn't treat you badly.

                                  He's not beating the dog within an inch of his life, but he has done the whole smacking on the but, scruffing the dog, pushing the dog down into the ground in a submissive position technique. Clearly that's not a good training method but again I can't do anything about what's already transpired.

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by showhorsegallery View Post
                                    Yes I am desperate to alleviate the barking and will try anything that seems like it would work.
                                    even if it seems like it won't, try the things I am going to suggest. Try them for at least a week before discarding them. The only way I'd want you to quit prior to that would be if he becomes aggressive.

                                    The dog does "work" for treats. He will sit, shake and lay down for treats. He also has to wait to hear "okay" before being fed. But if there is a way to make him work for food that will also stop the barking I am all ears.
                                    first (and I'm sure you won't do this, but I feel obligated to say it), don't hit the dog for anything. If he becomes aggressive, you put him away from you for 15-30 minutes to allow the adrenalin dump to diminish. Safety is always the #1 priority.

                                    Second, I repeat, the dog will transfer his affection to the individual doing the work, and that may become a source of conflict. Just be aware.

                                    Next, the dog has to work for his meals, not just treats. This will begin to build a work ethic and you will use his meals because food is a primary resource. Do you feed kibble or some other feeding method?

                                    If it's kibble, measure it out, and when the dog barks, call him, ask for a sit, he gets one kibble. Back up 2 steps, if he follows and sits, ask for a down, one kibble. Work him for 5-10 kibbles at a time. Then cue him to let him know you are all done and go back about whatever you were doing. Rinse, lather, repeat.

                                    Next, begin to teach him to relax in place. Teach him to down on a bath mat, or an old towel, and treat in place for 5-10 kibbles. Simply stand in front with 5-10 kibbles and if he can remain in a down, treat with 1 kibble. Count to 5, treat again. Do not move away, stand right in front. Release him when you are done.

                                    If you do these two things for the balance of his meals, you should probably get at least 4 training sessions per day. They can be broken up by whatever tasks you are doing at the time. If I am sorting laundry, the working dog will lie on a bath mat and I do 10 kibbles, turn to sort some laundry, work the dog for 10 kibbles, release the dog, load the washer, go back to the mat, work for 10 kibbles...etc etc


                                    edit: if the dog will not work for food, he goes in a crate for at least 15 min, not working is not an option.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      3dogpack - Not to hijack this thread, but I'm curious re the treats for barking...i have an 11 yr old shep/chow/collie mix who is barker. The particularly annoying times are when I come home, whether gone 10 minutes or a week. Barks until I pet her, barks after I stop for the first maybe 5 minutes I'm home. Same when people come over - very friendly, barks to be petted by them. Then, after a few minutes, she's a saint.
                                      We don't get less brave; we get a bigger sense of self-preservation........

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by 2tempe View Post
                                        3dogpack - Not to hijack this thread, but I'm curious re the treats for barking...i have an 11 yr old shep/chow/collie mix who is barker. The particularly annoying times are when I come home, whether gone 10 minutes or a week. Barks until I pet her, barks after I stop for the first maybe 5 minutes I'm home. Same when people come over - very friendly, barks to be petted by them. Then, after a few minutes, she's a saint.
                                        are you asking how to fix the demand barking or why it works?

                                        Comment

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