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Dog destroying relationship - WWYD?

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  • #21
    Originally posted by Bounceback View Post
    Someone posted about training, The GSD has been pro trained, the pit listens like her life depended on it, but the jack x... not a chance, you discipline her, she gets mad, crouches down, and low and behold, pees...

    I'm just frustrated...
    That doesn't sound like a mad dog - more like a scared dog.

    For the dog's sake you need to find her a new home. 21 hours a day in a crate no matter how much running she does the other 3 is just mean. I would think that kind of containment could turn even the sweetest dog into a raving lunatic.


    • #22
      Bounceback wrote
      It's not healthy for us to be in a house that reeks of dog urine, finding little "presents" around the house, and I'm not for having a kid crawl around and find one ether...
      Noone would want to live in a house that reeks of urine, and of course you wouldn't want dog waste around your house. I do know a couple with a toddler who just got a puppy, though, and they said they were unfazed by the puppy mess because they've had so much baby/toddler mess the last few years - so yeah, it's all messy.
      I am a little bit confused: you stated that you don't want the dog just gone, but that you couldn't handle three dogs. I don't know if that means that you want to re-home the dog or what, but I'll assume not for now.
      If the housetraining is the main problem, then take control of that now. Can your fiance help? Here is what I would do: she no longer gets free rein of the house. You guys keep her tethered to one of you at all times you can. When you can't, she is in an outside run, in a crate, in an ex-pen - somewhere that she won't have an accident. If she has an accident in your presence, say "no" and take her outside. When you see her go outside, have a party and give her treats. Obviously she is not housetrained right now. Most dogs can be housetrained. Even if you do rehome her it will be good to start this process as dogs need to learn appropriate elimination.


      • #23
        Originally posted by lcw579 View Post
        That doesn't sound like a mad dog - more like a scared dog.

        For the dog's sake you need to find her a new home. 21 hours a day in a crate no matter how much running she does the other 3 is just mean. I would think that kind of containment could turn even the sweetest dog into a raving lunatic.
        This. Really. Cowering and peeing? Have you ever heard the phrase "submissive behavior"? Do the poor animal a favor and find it a new home.
        I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care. ~ Dave Barry


        • #24
          Yes, peeing while being crouched down is submissive urination. I am no expert, but she probably needs a different type of training than you've used before - more positive. Just from that, it sounds like she is fearful. If you used aversive training, then it's no surprise that she peed.


          • #25
            I'm under the impression the crating started AFTER the soiling in the house started. If you are crating her because otherwise she will go in the house, then why can't she stay outside? Tied, penned, otherwise?

            Personally, I would not have made it this far with a dog like this...but then again, my fiance would have kicked a dog across the house for growling/snapping while it has a bone. That was the first mistake. YOU ARE THE BOSS. No growling at the boss. As for soiling in the house? Yeah, also gone. I am not living in a toilet. You want to spend years doing this, it's on you. Me personally, since you asked WWYD, I would tell the boyfriend " me or the dog, this isn't working and I am not a dog's maid."

            COTH's official mini-donk enabler

            "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


            • #26
              Well I can only imagine the situations where she's been caught and disciplined; I'm sure all the frustration and anger and stress is part of that interaction. She's a sensitive little dog, even if your actions aren't too hard on her she's going to be picking up on the arguing and frustration that is following her every move. I'd stop disciplining her though-it's obviously not working. Focus more on prevention.

              again I say get her outside in her own space and take it from there.
              “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey


              • #27
                Just always be careful with situations like the bone thing and dogs. One thing that you don't want to do is teach the dog to just bite and not growl, and sometimes punishing the growl does that. A dog that bites without warning is very scary indeed. You want them to growl before they lash out. I would definitely work to address that situation, one by removing bones and two by teaching the dog to trade items she wants for a treat.
                You are the boss, but sometimes you have to use a different way to show the dog.


                • #28
                  I feel for the poor dog.
                  She was the only dog, then two more were brought in, and she gets no positive attention at all these days, as well as no exercise.

                  Small wonder she's become a PITA.

                  It might well be in the poor animal's best interests to rehome her, if possible.
                  "It's like a Russian nesting doll of train wrecks."--CaitlinandTheBay

                  ...just settin' on the Group W bench.


                  • #29
                    Here is a good article on resource guarding http://ahimsadogtraining.com/blog/resource-guarding/


                    • #30
                      Simply running around with the other dogs, 150+ acres or not, is not effective as directed exercise for this type of dog. Walking, jogging, light obedience training, etc., with you attached to the other end of the leash and firmly but kindly in control is the kind of daily interaction you need to both establish respect and drain energy effectively.

                      But it seems clear you don't have the time/inclination to take on the extra work this would involve.

                      So do the dog and yourself a huge favor and find her a new home where she can get back to feeling a welcome part of the family.

                      I also agree with those who caution you to make sure the dog is really the whole reason for your frustration. Marriage is difficult. Marriage with children is more difficult. Marriage and children with a partner who stands back while you struggle with the tough stuff?
                      Patience pays.


                      • #31
                        Bounceback - You haven't explained why the BF isn't walking his dog before he leaves in the morning.

                        Do this dog a favor. Find her a home where she can be loved and get the homelife she needs.

                        Just a thought - if you and the BF aren't communicating and problem-solving when it's about a dog, how will it be when it's the kids? He needs to be as involved as you are.



                        • #32
                          The only solution I see is to rehome the dog into a single-dog household. The problem with that is that I wouldn't take a dog with a bite history. Other people might, but if the dog doesn't improve and bites someone else, then a dog with a bite history is a real problem when it comes to liability.

                          It might be that the dog would be fine in another situation, but there's only one way to find that out. The dog needs another home now, and that's the only solution I see. The current situation isn't fair to the OP, or the dog.
                          You can't fix stupid-Ron White


                          • #33
                            Honestly, I did not read all of the posts, and I will most likely get flamed for this;

                            I would NOT have a dog that bit period. That dog would have an appt the next day. I would not adopt it out, or give it away, I would PTS ASAP. I could not live with knowing that a dog that I knew bit people around with other people.

                            and you are thinking of giving her to the father in law....what are you going to do when you take the kid over to their house ?

                            There are too many GREAT dogs in pounds/shelters/rescues that need good homes.


                            • #34
                              whew. this thread. my .02 cents again.

                              Putting a dog outside to live on a chain or in a kennel run with a heated dog house is cruel. period. Dogs wanna be with thier people, they deserve to live inside. (excluding LGD who live to protect their herd and hunting pack dogs ) If you can't have the dog inside rehome it. That goes for anyone who chains a dog up outside not just the OP.

                              I accepted an 8yo Aussie who had bitten 2 people into my home. I knew her complete history. I never had an issue with her, she never was placed in a situation where she felt the need to bite while I had her. I just used good management. So there are pople out there who would take on a known biter..... does depend on why they are biting......

                              which leads me to her submissive peeing. The way you describe it, I suspect that you might be creating a bite situation w/o knowing that you are doing just that. ".. you dicipline her, she crouches down and pees...." that statement right there shows me that you "could" be creating the bite issue.

                              what do you mean by dicipline her? What do you do when you dicipline?

                              and how do you potty train the dog? Have you tried giving her high value treats and throwing a party everytime she potties outside? High Value Treats means a few pea sized pieces of last nights left over steak or hamburger or meatloaf or chicken. And when she potties inside ignore it. clean it up with a good enzymatic cleaner.


                              • #35
                                NRB -
                                Chaining a dog is not something I would do do. Personally I think that while you are away from home, a kennel run is not cruel. I wouldn't leave a dog in a run all of the time. Right now, the dog is crated at night and while they are at work - that is a lot of time in a crate, and obviously the dog can't be left loose in the house right now. Do you really think a run would be bad while they are away? At least she could go to the bathroom more frequently. I take my own dogs out every 4 hours, but I am fortunate enough to live very close to work. If I couldn't do that, I would want them to be in a situation where they didn't have to hold it for hours on end, as this dog must be doing in the crate. While you are home, dogs want to be with you - but when you are away from home, I think a run is ok. JMHO.


                                • #36
                                  Originally posted by Casey09 View Post
                                  NRB -
                                  Do you really think a run would be bad while they are away?
                                  to clarify no I don't think its wrong to put a dog in a run for a few hours while you are out..... I personally am too paranoid to leave my dog out while I am away for fear of loosing her to theft or her breaking out and running out in front of a car. But I live in a small city..... I do think it's cruel to put a dog in a run for it's entire life and only interact with the dog for 2 hrs a day.. but the other 22 hrs the dog is in the run.


                                  • #37
                                    I'm of a school, "It's a dog".

                                    If a dog I had bit me due to behaviour/pissed off or I got too near it's food/bone/owner....the dog would be gone that day.

                                    Depending on the bite it'd be either up for adoption or euthanized. It's a dog, you don't risk the damage a dog can do.

                                    More importantly, I'd be asking myself why is this guy keeping a dog that bites someone he cares about?
                                    "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"


                                    • #38
                                      A couple of suggestions. Forgive me if they're at all redundant. I've read alot, but skimmed some.

                                      1) Walks on a leash, particularly one on one with a dog who is an issue, are really helpful. It's not so much just their getting their exercise outside, it's determining who's the boss frankly. Sounds like you can do ok together sometimes when it's not crazy. Try to do some one on one time w/ the JRT mix and just you. Doesn't have to be a lot. Keep it easy going. But try to find some way you're listened to. Be positive, but be firm. Watch some Ceasar Milan if you have to (flame suit on). At least his ideas give you some sense of balance within a home that shouldn't be run by the dogs.

                                      2) You seem to be so consumed with the house being kept clean all the time. Not too early to get baby gates. The dogs do not need full run of the entire house at all times. I'm not saying keep them in one room, but try to partition off where they're allowed regularly so that you're not looking for accidents in every room. Try to keep them trained to where they normally come in, and the surrounding areas. If you have to have them in the bedroom area with you at night, make it only at night, and only in their designated spot, otherwise that part of the house is off limits for the day. Keep some areas just for yourselves, not for the dogs.

                                      3) Make sure you share the load. I don't care if fiance is a brain surgeon at the Pentagon. He needs to be involved. And hernia operation? When I was first married, my ex had two back surgeries, so I excused all his not being involved, or having to take responsibility for both the dogs and our son. There are things they can, and should do. Not saying it will happen to you, but it set a pattern. You'll also need him to be very involved with caring for the kids, and if this is any indication, you two need to be on the same page now. And if he doesn't do it to your standard, let him make mistakes but keep him involved.

                                      Animals really are good practice for having children. Good that you're dealing with some issues now - will be good experience for the long run.

                                      In the end, if you don't find success w/ your little JRT mix, I agree that you look to the breed club on the AKC site, and then check their associated rescue in your area. Most breed affiliated rescues don't require a dog to be purebred. Been involved with Lab & Irish Wolfhound rescues, and both take mixes.

                                      Good luck.
                                      But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson


                                      • #39
                                        I don't know, OP. This is obnoxious and intrusive, but I've read through your other posts. You are 23/24? I'd hold off on the kid plans for a bit, you are still very young. You seem to be very concerned about how clean your house is and easily put off by things not going smoothly. Raising kids is harder, BY MILES AND MILES, than dealing with dogs, horses, etc...and, yep, your house will get messed up. Things will get peed on and pooped on and thrown up on. Kids will bite you and hit you and tell you they hate you (if you are doing your job that is ). And, that's just the toddlers! Teenagers are worse.


                                        • #40
                                          Personally I'd be more worried about the non-role your fiance' is taking in this, because fast forward a few years when you're married and have kids and you're going to be the one shouldering all the discipline, clean up, and exercise of the kids as well as any dogs you have then.

                                          If your fiance' can stand the dirt and literal filth HIS dog is depositing in the house, you don't have a difference of opinion, you have a life style divisive issue. If your fiance' is totally okay with you doing all the clean up of his dog, you have a real problem. BECAUSE THIS IS NOT OKAY. You are not there to do all the cleaning.

                                          If your fiance' thought it was okay to bring home the pit pup, and then not take responsibility for this lack of forethought when his first dog became unhappy, you have a problem.

                                          You can possibly get rid of the dog, either rehoming or PTS, but the actions of your fiance' do not bode well for a true 50/50 partnership in the future.

                                          You should be grateful that this dog is pointing these character flaws out to you.
                                          ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
                                          Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

                                          "Life is merrier with a terrier!"