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The Case of the Disappearing Shorts: A July 4th Contribution from HRH Rosalind

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  • The Case of the Disappearing Shorts: A July 4th Contribution from HRH Rosalind

    I just finished evening chores and called it quits on outside projecting for the day. Have worked myself into the ground today - while fishing for jobs at work, checking the server every 15 minutes max. Got a lot accomplished - on the farm, not on my real job. But I was sweaty, dusty, gritty, etc. So decided first step was taking a bath.

    I always put my clean clothes on the floor by the door where they won't get splashed during the bath or dripped upon as I dry off. Small bathroom. So I had a clean T-shirt, underwear, and pair of shorts which I put there. When the bath was ready, I entered the bathroom, closed the door, and blocked it with my blocking stump. The door doesn't actually close in this old house (only one interior door in the whole house works), and my brother was around the farm, too, and might conceivably have come over.

    I was in the middle of my bath when I heard an odd slide rustle and looked over. The stump had been pushed back about an inch, and through that crack, my clean shorts were slowly disappearing. I could see one blue eye through the crack, too, and recognized the eye.

    "Rosalind, no!"

    The shorts stopped their progress, about 2/3 of the way out, and her imperial Siamese majesty raised an eloquent comment in Siamese accent.

    I wasn't listening to an appeal, however. "I said NO!"

    She tossed off one final curse, and the blue eye in the crack vanished. The shorts remained 2/3 out, 1/3 in until I finished my bath, got out, and retrieved them. I can just imagine me chasing my shorts through the house, and no doubt my brother WOULD have come over during that scene. Embarrassment averted, fortunately, by the fact that my cats do know that when I say "No," I mean it. However, I do have to catch them directly in the act of a misdemeanor to stop it. They sin freely when I'm not looking.

    Another little moment in life with pets. They are wonderful company, but so many of them are thieves.

  • #2


    We had the clothes abducting Dalmatian...but she was picky, she only nabbed DH's shorts, and usually only once she heard the shower...

    (I am amazed thought that you managed to convince HRH to let go of the shorts!)
    Originally posted by BigMama1
    Facts don't have versions. If they do, they are opinions
    GNU Terry Prachett

    Comment


    • #3
      We have a 'new' senior-aged Chihuahua (animal shelter adoption) who LOVES socks. You don't leave your socks lying about, or in the low clothes basket in the bathroom, else they are dragged about by Mimi for HOURS. She is very shy and cannot be caught while in possession of a sock. You just have to wait until she drops it (usually down in the basement).

      Of course, her first 'victim' was a bath towel...apparently a 6-pound dog dragging one of J.C. Penneys Egyptian Cotton best proved too difficult. I am thankful she didn't decide to give men's jockeys or my daughter's (butt-floss) thongs a go; either can be found on the bath floor (next to the basket).

      Comment


      • #4
        Ummm... Blocked it with your stump? I don't read every post here so forgive me for being insensitive but ... what?

        Animals that abscond with clothing crack me up. And your post really made me miss my Siamese. They are special critters.
        "Dogs are man's best friend. Cats are man's adorable little serial killer." -- theoatmeal.com

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by alabama View Post
          Ummm... Blocked it with your stump? I don't read every post here so forgive me for being insensitive but ... what?
          Not her stump, lol. I'm guessing she means the little wedge shaped rubber thing used to keep doors open/closed
          .

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            It is an actual stump. About 5 inches high, about 6 wide. I've had it for years. It's a memento of sorts, but it also makes a fine doorstop. Stuff might as well be useful.

            Dates back to the summer I was 12. I spent that summer with my grandma in Georgia, and among other things, I decided to teach myself whittling that summer. So I went into the PINE woods across the dirt road from Grandma's house. Found a downed tree. Borrowed a saw to take off a nice thin slice of the trunk, although it struck me even then how long it took to saw that and how hard it was. But I finally had my piece of wood.

            Carried it back to Grandma's, washed it, debarked it, and started to teach myself to whittle using the small knife Grandma gave me. I intended to carve myself a horse (of course ) over the course of the summer. It would then be displayed among my model horses as a lifetime memento of my summer at Grandma's.

            Got next to nowhere. That wood simply would NOT whittle. I was getting annoyed at it, but I doggedly kept trying. One day toward the end of summer, when I had been working on this for a month and a half with very little progress to show for it, an uncle happened to come over and see my efforts, and he nearly fell over laughing. It's oak. Burr oak specifically, he said. I took him back into the woods to show him the source tree. Wasn't a full-sized obvious oak. It fell young, probably hit by lightning, he said. But I actually did manage to walk into a PINE woods and pick out probably the only little oak tree in the place. So much for the tree knowledge of a 12-year-old. (And there were no tip-off leaves; they were already gone.) Uncle assured me I could attempt to whittle a horse from that until kingdom come and get nowhere.

            So I gave up. And I kept the thing, out of respect. There are very, VERY few things in life that have forced me to simply give up and openly admit defeat. So it still makes a nice memento of my summer with Grandma when I was 12.

            Would have looked much nicer as a whittled horse, though.

            Comment


            • #7
              Oh, thank god! I was picturing you taking your artificial leg off.
              "Dogs are man's best friend. Cats are man's adorable little serial killer." -- theoatmeal.com

              Comment


              • #8
                My little dog is an underwear stealer. *sigh*

                But does she take my husband's underwear from the PILE he makes? Nooo. She takes MY underwear, should I be silly enough to leave a pair unattended. It doesn't matter if it's clean or dirty, either.

                The aggravating/scary part is that she takes them away to the couch and chews the crotch out of them. Thanks, dog - because I needed to worry about you getting sick because I've got a trash can full of crotchless panties and you've got a belly full of fabric!

                Comment


                • #9
                  DT, that story was priceless..

                  And it reminds me of something my own Grandpa would have said.


                  Funny thing is, having lived in many old houses, when you said you pushed your stump against the door, I knew exactly what you meant.

                  Except mine was a old sandstone block from the spring house.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by emeraldsilver View Post
                    My little dog is an underwear stealer. *sigh*

                    But does she take my husband's underwear from the PILE he makes? Nooo. She takes MY underwear, should I be silly enough to leave a pair unattended. It doesn't matter if it's clean or dirty, either.

                    The aggravating/scary part is that she takes them away to the couch and chews the crotch out of them. Thanks, dog - because I needed to worry about you getting sick because I've got a trash can full of crotchless panties and you've got a belly full of fabric!

                    It's LOVE!!

                    (some people pay a lot for crotchless panties...)
                    Originally posted by BigMama1
                    Facts don't have versions. If they do, they are opinions
                    GNU Terry Prachett

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thank you for giving me the best laugh in a long, long time! Being a meezer-owner, I can picture the whole thing... the eye, the accent, the haughtiness.

                      Not nearly as funny as your story, but more aggravating. One morning, my meezer Buster wasn't in bed with me, which was odd, as he likes to snuggle when I first wake up. My house is small, so I called to him, and he answered from the kitchen. I called a few more times, and he replied, but he would NOT come to the bedroom.

                      Finally got up and went to the kitchen. Oh. NO. I had left a loaf of bread on the counter, and evidently Buster felt peckish. He had ripped the plastic open, pulled the slices out, chewed some to crumbs, and distributed the rest all around the kitchen and dining nook. You never saw so many breadcrumbs...
                      I loff my Quarter horse clique

                      I kill threads dead!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Alagirl View Post
                        It's LOVE!!

                        (some people pay a lot for crotchless panties...)
                        Umm... they probably wouldn't pay for these. Not unless ragged edges and dog spit was something they were interested in. (Not going there... not going there...)

                        I know it must be love - this dog thinks humans are The Most Awesome Thing Ever (yes, with caps). And considering we won the puppy lottery when we saw her getting abandoned on the side of the highway, it's hard not to return the love. Even when I'm rescuing what's left of my undies.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          My hound is a sock thief who likes to play keep away. My cocker used to steal panties. Usually when my daughter had girl friends spending the night because she was having a party. The girls just wouldn't listen when I told them not to leave clothes on the floor. Invariably, she would come parading through the party with someone's thong...while everyone guessed who it belonged to. Hah...it was always the girl with the very red face!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            My tuxedo cats (brothers), Mac and Arthur (no relation to MacArthur!), used to carry laundry up from the basement and disribute it all over the house. Undies, towells, sweatshirts and tons of socks. I used to count them - one day there were 37 articles all over the house - they really put in a full day's work that day! No wonder they slept so much. Mac was not as "into" laundry as Art was. Mac used to bring up tools and other more masculine items - one day he carried a small bucket of spackle up - it was a brand new bucket and was pretty darn heavy for a cat to be carrying up 14 steps in his teeth! You could see the teeth marks in the container. He would also bring up any plastic containers of fasteners etc. Oh, and shoes - they would drag our shoes around the house too. They were such a pair! It was embarassing if we came home with someone and there would be underwear in the kitchen and hallway lol!

                            LOVE the stump story!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by witherbee View Post
                              Mac used to bring up tools and other more masculine items - one day he carried a small bucket of spackle up - it was a brand new bucket and was pretty darn heavy for a cat to be carrying up 14 steps in his teeth! You could see the teeth marks in the container. He would also bring up any plastic containers of fasteners etc.
                              That is HILARIOUS! Obviously Mac was a handyman in one of his nine lives!
                              I loff my Quarter horse clique

                              I kill threads dead!

                              Comment

                              • Original Poster

                                #16
                                Here's the star of the OP, by the way. Just for a face to put with the name.

                                HRH Rosalind

                                http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/k...Tuesday004.jpg

                                Rosalind getting annoyed at my other Siamese, Tenuto, who typically is pestering her.

                                http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/k...gBy2060211.jpg

                                http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/k...self060211.jpg

                                The look of martyred annoyance after she threw Tenuto off.

                                http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/k...umpf060211.jpg

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  She's beautiful! Blue point??? I had a blue point growing up for 17 years and then a lilac/blue mix when I graduated from college. They are such cool cats! I know that martyred look well.

                                  I'll always want another but the strays just keep showing up! I just can't justify it. I want TWO cats and I'm not even going to say how many I'm caring for now.

                                  Is Tenuto a Seal Pt? My dad had one when I was growing up and, wow! He was mean. He didn't like kids at all. Now that I'm a grown up, I kind of understand. My after-college blue/lilac wasn't the friendliest cat, either. She loved me - but only me. They have such interesting personalities.
                                  "Dogs are man's best friend. Cats are man's adorable little serial killer." -- theoatmeal.com

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    Yes, Rosalind is a blue.

                                    Tenuto is a seal point. Not at all mean, though. (HRH would disagree with me. ) Tenuto is the most unflappable, philosophical cat I've got; in fact, she is the one I take to the nursing home to visit Mom and other deprived catfolk.

                                    http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/k...nuto010511.jpg

                                    There isn't another cat on the place I'd try that with. Tenuto is, however, totally impossible to discourage. Whatever you do to her is positive reinforcement. This drove Rosalind nuts when I added Tenuto as a kitten. Tenuto would come curl up with Rosalind. HRH would growl a symphony, slap the kitten, throw her off the bed, etc. Didn't matter. Tenuto would land and come back for more. She is incredibly social and is simply convinced that the whole world wants to be her best buddy, so whatever the other cat does, it's because she really deep down likes you. You can imagine the reaction of Rosalind, who like Queen Victoria is rarely amused. It's the clash between "don't worry, be happy" and "her imperial highness and diva." It took over a year for Tenuto to be able to be around Rosalind without immediate retaliation, and she still gets retaliation within a few minutes if she's being especially pestering. Which is still fine with Tenuto.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      I LOVE Siamese cats! dressagetraks - I want to steal yours! So gorgeous.
                                      Siamese are very intelligent - you just never know what's going on in they little heads. The smartest cats I ever owned were either pure Siamese or Siamese-X.

                                      One of them, Iggy, absolutely adored French Vanilla ice cream and not jsut any French Vanilla ice cream. Oh no, it had to be from Baskin-Robbins. One day, my mom came home and he greeted her at the door very excited about something. He kept herding her down the hall towards the kitchen with her asking him what he wanted. Well, she found out. On the floor in front of the fridge with the open freezer door was the very large container of ice cream. It had bite and scratch marks all over it from his efforts to open it up. He had gotten up on top of the fridge and with what must have been a real effort finagled the freezer door open and pulled out the container of ice cream - nothing else, just the ice cream. Of course, by the time my mom got home it was soup but he was so pleased with himself and I guess he must have thought she would be proud of him enough to let him have some. She was pissed about the ice cream but could not find it in her heart to give him anything but the most half-hearted scolding. Crazy cat...

                                      Same cat broke his leg and learned to use the cast to clock any other cat in the head when they offended him or he wanted something they had. Pretty funny they day he belted one of the other cats in the head AFTER cast had been removed and they both realized the cast was not there at the same time. Iggy looked horrified and other cat looked gleeful. He got a good smack down from the other cat.
                                      "Cats aren't clean; they're covered with cat spit."
                                      - John S Nichols (1745-1846,writer/printer)

                                      Don't come for me - I didn't send for you.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        shiloh- you almost owed me a new keyboard!!! Came close to spewing my lovely Moscato wine across laptop when i read about your cat hitting the others with his cast!

                                        P.
                                        A Wandering Albertan - NEW Africa travel blog!

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