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The Big C! RIP Kim, see pg. 218

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  • Sannois
    started a topic The Big C! RIP Kim, see pg. 218

    The Big C! RIP Kim, see pg. 218

    There, I said it. Cancer. And evidently I have it.
    It was suggested by folks on the Colonoscopy thread to start a separate thread.
    I was hesitant because it seemed to me that I was looking for sympathy. Nope, Just support from wonderful COTHERS. Who after 18 years are my virtual family.
    I would like to hear from anyone who has or has ever had cancer, or was close to someone who did, or does.
    It was discovered yesterday during a colonoscopy. Which was a piece of cake.
    I do not know what stage or anything yet. But it is not something that was just started. I am waiting to hear from the Docs office for the surgeon apointment. and CT scan.
    What I want most is to tell people who say it can never happen to me and I do not need to get tested, BS.
    I just turned 60, and I was the poster child for never going to the doc. Been healthy my whole life never an ilness or surgery. However, I had these odd symptoms that were mild and not bad for the last several years. I only made this appointment when things got painful this winter. Hopefully I can beat it..
    I used to say Ahh, 60 is old enough, I have no family, I have lived a good life. Well, not a good thing to say.
    I feel very different now.
    Like I said I have gotten some wonderful advise from the folks on the colonoscopy thread.
    The most important is to stop planning my demise before I have all the facts.
    I welcome all your comments info and experiences.
    And please please please. if any of you are thinking this will never happen to me, think again. the test is so not a big deal. Cancer is another story. Thanks for letting me vent.
    COTHERS have always been the most supportive bunch I know.

  • fargaloo
    replied
    Thanks, FitzE (and I'm kind of fan-girling out that you know the lead singer of the Hothouse Flowers, lol!!). What a lovely thought and sentiment. It warms my heart to know that Kim can touch people's hearts even after she is gone.

    And thanks to all of you for keeping this thread alive. I rarely come on COTH these days, but when I do, seeing that little red notifier that someone has posted here gives my heart a jolt. I miss "Kim's crew"!

    Really missing Kim these days. I was driving down to visit my mom and she's on the way to Kim's place in Michigan. The leaves are down and there was a dusting of snow (now there's a LOT -- whole 'nother story) and the scene reminded me of my trip to visit Kim last December. She's never far from my thoughts.

    I'm sad that Todd has not responded to my attempts to contact him; thus, I don't have Kim's ashes. I still bugs me, but I think I have to let it go. I might have mentioned that my brother lives in county Cork, and my son is traveling around Europe. I asked Luke to take a little metal container with, not Kim's ashes, but a note to her from me. I asked him to bury it in a beautiful spot somewhere close to the sea. I thought he would take a picture of the actual spot (lol -- I forgot he needs REALLY explicit directions), but here he is with my brother on the day he took a piece of Kim (even if it was just a thought) to Sheepshead Bay. I like to think she's somewhere in this picture, riding free.

    Hope you guys are all keeping well. Laurie, so good to hear your Dad is hanging in there.

    love to all,
    m.

    Leave a comment:


  • scierra
    replied
    It makes me happy to see Kim’s memory is alive through this thread. There are days where I miss “seeing” her so much. Now that we are going into winter, our area breaking cold and snow records already, I miss her teasing me about my loving this weather. She didn’t know when she started this her first post just what an impact she would have on so many. In what could have been a very dark, depressing thread, there is humor, good music, and she brought out the kindness in people.

    Laurie, good to hear that your dad is still doing well. I think of you and him often.

    Leave a comment:


  • FitzE
    replied
    This thread is such a gift. How remarkable that Kim open a window into her end-of-life journey. I was not on the forum when this all happened. I do wish I had been and had been able to get to know her through this medium. Her legacy is reaching around the world. Here, thousands of miles from Michigan, I made myself and my daughter a BLT as I read along. And I will be scheduling my procedure this week.

    It is really touching how you all supported her. What a wonderful community.

    I couldn't help thinking of this song as the story approached its end. I was actually speaking to the lead singer/song writer of this band recently and talking about the subject of this song, his friend Eamonn. It is very sad, but I like the idea of not wanting someone to go, but understanding that they might need to go, and hoping that if they do, they like where they are going. We talked about the similarities between his song and Dylan Thomas' "Don't Go Gentle Into That Good Night."

    Too sad to have played for her. But, she did love Irish things and would have loved these guys, I think.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wafKFHHBStA

    Leave a comment:


  • skydy
    replied
    Originally posted by SCM1959 View Post

    I miss you doing this! I am a night owl and would usually see your posts shortly after you put them up. You sent a song recently to Brad, the nephew of KCMel and I did enjoy that song.
    I couldn't play that for Kim. She wanted happy songs.

    Leave a comment:


  • SCM1959
    replied
    Originally posted by skydy View Post
    I miss playing DJ for Kim in the wee small hours of the morning.
    I miss you doing this! I am a night owl and would usually see your posts shortly after you put them up. You sent a song recently to Brad, the nephew of KCMel and I did enjoy that song.

    Leave a comment:


  • Laurierace
    replied
    He is hanging in there. Heading back down to Florida as we speak which makes me feel a lot better as he has people there checking in on him every day. Thanks for asking

    Leave a comment:


  • skydy
    replied
    Originally posted by Laurierace View Post
    I am having dinner with a dear friend tonight who also has stage 4 colon cancer that has spread to his liver. He has had chemo and shrunk the tumor enough that they were able to remove the liver tumor. He is starting a different chemo soon as well as radiation and is scared and we are of course scared for him. He too echoes the need for colonoscopies and wishes he had had one when he should have started them.
    How's your Dad?

    Leave a comment:


  • skydy
    replied
    I miss playing DJ for Kim in the wee small hours of the morning.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bogey2
    replied
    love the pictures of you and Nim Monika! Thinking of Kim so I dropped in to find the thread.

    Leave a comment:


  • Laurierace
    replied
    I am having dinner with a dear friend tonight who also has stage 4 colon cancer that has spread to his liver. He has had chemo and shrunk the tumor enough that they were able to remove the liver tumor. He is starting a different chemo soon as well as radiation and is scared and we are of course scared for him. He too echoes the need for colonoscopies and wishes he had had one when he should have started them.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jarpur
    replied
    Every time I read a post related to colonoscopy (there's a current one on Off Topic), or discuss the subject with others (know someone who had related surgery during the summer), or in any way come across the topic, I think of Kim, and the great good she did in sharing her journey.

    She was so brave and giving.

    Leave a comment:


  • Chall
    replied

    Funny, I was thinking of yesterday and what a good you have done.
    ​​​​​​

    Leave a comment:


  • Rallycairn
    replied
    Monika, you and Nim look wonderful! Channeling Kim, for sure.

    Leave a comment:


  • RMJacobs
    replied
    Monika, you and Nim look great together!

    Rebecca

    Leave a comment:


  • Laurierace
    replied
    Love the note in a box idea Monika, little tributes like that are so special. I took my horse’s halter plate and a lock of his mane and nailed them to a tree next to the first water complex I ever cantered through. It has become a must see spot every time I or any of my friends are in the area.

    Leave a comment:


  • vxf111
    replied
    You and Nim look fabulous Monika!

    Leave a comment:


  • fargaloo
    replied
    Hey all,

    It makes me so happy to see that red "notification" button and to see that Kim is still alive in our hearts <3...

    I know I keep talking about Nim, but I do feel such a strong connection to Kim through her... just wanted to send a quick update. She's doing great. . Been taking dressage lessons and my instructor loves her! Nim is a fast learner and so kind and generous. She's not the weak link in our partnership, that's for sure . Today is our first real jump lesson (with a new-to-me instructor, no less!). I'm nervous and excited, but I know Nim will take care of me.

    A photographer was hanging out at the barn and took a few pictures of us farting around in the ring. I look tacky as hell, unfortunately -- ratty tank top, bra straps out and hair flying, yikes!! -- but Nim is cute . We have long way to go, but I'm so proud of the little horse that was almost euthanized because she was "impossible"... what a gift she's been.

    https://www.gnphoto.ca/Monika/n-QskZrk/i-6BvrJJ3/A

    My plans to get to Ireland keep getting foiled... my son however is going to Europe for a month, and is starting in Ireland (in County Cork, the place Kim wanted to visit above all). I'm giving him a tiny little metal box to bury in the ground by the coast -- all I've put in it is a note that says "Miss you and love you, Kim". It will have to do till I get there.

    Hope all of "Kim's crew" is doing well.

    love, Monika

    Leave a comment:


  • scierra
    replied
    Originally posted by CanadianTrotter View Post
    Thinking of you Kim.
    Yeah, I’ve been thinking of Kim too. Maybe it’s because winter is coming and she and I didn’t agree on the cold and snow? I don’t know, but she’s been on my mind.

    Leave a comment:


  • CanadianTrotter
    replied
    Thinking of you Kim.

    Leave a comment:

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