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The Big C! RIP Kim, see pg. 218

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  • Monika, you and Nim look wonderful! Channeling Kim, for sure.
    If thou hast a sorrow, tell it not to the arrow, tell it to thy saddlebow, and ride on, singing. -- King Alfred the Great


    • Funny, I was thinking of yesterday and what a good you have done.


      • Every time I read a post related to colonoscopy (there's a current one on Off Topic), or discuss the subject with others (know someone who had related surgery during the summer), or in any way come across the topic, I think of Kim, and the great good she did in sharing her journey.

        She was so brave and giving.


        • I am having dinner with a dear friend tonight who also has stage 4 colon cancer that has spread to his liver. He has had chemo and shrunk the tumor enough that they were able to remove the liver tumor. He is starting a different chemo soon as well as radiation and is scared and we are of course scared for him. He too echoes the need for colonoscopies and wishes he had had one when he should have started them.
          McDowell Racing Stables

          Home Away From Home


          • love the pictures of you and Nim Monika! Thinking of Kim so I dropped in to find the thread.
            Humans dont mind duress, in fact they thrive on it. What they mind is not feeling necessary. Sebastian Junger


            • I miss playing DJ for Kim in the wee small hours of the morning.


              • Originally posted by Laurierace View Post
                I am having dinner with a dear friend tonight who also has stage 4 colon cancer that has spread to his liver. He has had chemo and shrunk the tumor enough that they were able to remove the liver tumor. He is starting a different chemo soon as well as radiation and is scared and we are of course scared for him. He too echoes the need for colonoscopies and wishes he had had one when he should have started them.
                How's your Dad?


                • He is hanging in there. Heading back down to Florida as we speak which makes me feel a lot better as he has people there checking in on him every day. Thanks for asking
                  McDowell Racing Stables

                  Home Away From Home


                  • Originally posted by skydy View Post
                    I miss playing DJ for Kim in the wee small hours of the morning.
                    I miss you doing this! I am a night owl and would usually see your posts shortly after you put them up. You sent a song recently to Brad, the nephew of KCMel and I did enjoy that song.


                    • Originally posted by SCM1959 View Post

                      I miss you doing this! I am a night owl and would usually see your posts shortly after you put them up. You sent a song recently to Brad, the nephew of KCMel and I did enjoy that song.
                      I couldn't play that for Kim. She wanted happy songs.


                      • This thread is such a gift. How remarkable that Kim open a window into her end-of-life journey. I was not on the forum when this all happened. I do wish I had been and had been able to get to know her through this medium. Her legacy is reaching around the world. Here, thousands of miles from Michigan, I made myself and my daughter a BLT as I read along. And I will be scheduling my procedure this week.

                        It is really touching how you all supported her. What a wonderful community.

                        I couldn't help thinking of this song as the story approached its end. I was actually speaking to the lead singer/song writer of this band recently and talking about the subject of this song, his friend Eamonn. It is very sad, but I like the idea of not wanting someone to go, but understanding that they might need to go, and hoping that if they do, they like where they are going. We talked about the similarities between his song and Dylan Thomas' "Don't Go Gentle Into That Good Night."

                        Too sad to have played for her. But, she did love Irish things and would have loved these guys, I think.



                        • It makes me happy to see Kim’s memory is alive through this thread. There are days where I miss “seeing” her so much. Now that we are going into winter, our area breaking cold and snow records already, I miss her teasing me about my loving this weather. She didn’t know when she started this her first post just what an impact she would have on so many. In what could have been a very dark, depressing thread, there is humor, good music, and she brought out the kindness in people.

                          Laurie, good to hear that your dad is still doing well. I think of you and him often.


                          • Thanks, FitzE (and I'm kind of fan-girling out that you know the lead singer of the Hothouse Flowers, lol!!). What a lovely thought and sentiment. It warms my heart to know that Kim can touch people's hearts even after she is gone.

                            And thanks to all of you for keeping this thread alive. I rarely come on COTH these days, but when I do, seeing that little red notifier that someone has posted here gives my heart a jolt. I miss "Kim's crew"!

                            Really missing Kim these days. I was driving down to visit my mom and she's on the way to Kim's place in Michigan. The leaves are down and there was a dusting of snow (now there's a LOT -- whole 'nother story) and the scene reminded me of my trip to visit Kim last December. She's never far from my thoughts.

                            I'm sad that Todd has not responded to my attempts to contact him; thus, I don't have Kim's ashes. I still bugs me, but I think I have to let it go. I might have mentioned that my brother lives in county Cork, and my son is traveling around Europe. I asked Luke to take a little metal container with, not Kim's ashes, but a note to her from me. I asked him to bury it in a beautiful spot somewhere close to the sea. I thought he would take a picture of the actual spot (lol -- I forgot he needs REALLY explicit directions), but here he is with my brother on the day he took a piece of Kim (even if it was just a thought) to Sheepshead Bay. I like to think she's somewhere in this picture, riding free.

                            Hope you guys are all keeping well. Laurie, so good to hear your Dad is hanging in there.

                            love to all,


                            • Gorgeous picture! You pretty much cannot go wrong anywhere in The People's Republic of Cork. So lovely, esp West Cork. I see now you are well served with folks to help you in Ireland!! Does your brother live right in the city?

                              I must say in my day job I am absolutely not that cool. I am close with the ambassador's wife and was honored to get an invitation with about 30 other people to meet them at a very intimate event at the embassy. That's where I got to chat and discuss that particular song. They are all lovely and just like any dad you'd meet out and about, but then they get up and play. They are all gaeilgeoirs as well, so they mix trad in with their own stuff. Liam also meets people and then keeps up with them via email for years! Lovely guy.

                              For me, that song took Don't Go Gentle... one step further: realizing that sometimes you have to give that person permission to let go if that's what they need to do. And let them know you hope it's good for them if that's what they need to do. It was a perspective I had never considered before. Of course, I was still a student when that song came out so it's not like existential nuance was my forte!! A lot of what is written here and that Kim herself wrote put me in mind of that tension between wanting to stay/wanting someone to stay and needing to let go/letting someone know it's okay if they have to let go. It is really extraordinary of her to have shared herself the way she did. And how lovely that you were part of it in such a significant way. I know your friendship must have been such a comfort and joy for her.


                              • Hey FitzE -- yes, I'm pretty envious of my brother! He and his wife (and their two dogs) moved there from Canada about 2 years ago. They live just outside of Bantry; their daughter and her husband live in Dublin. And now my son has competely fallen in love with Cork and the environs, so it seems like a wholesale exodus is underway for my family. I can't believe that I have yet to make it out to visit them. It would have been so lovely to get there with Kim.

                                Even though you didn't know Kim, you seem to "get" her. She was pretty amazing as she approached the end of her life. It was such a privilege and gift to walk with her for part of her journey.


                                • I ordered my special zinnia seeds today and added some big red ones that were a favourite of Kim's. I don't normally plant red colours but will do a special corner for Kim this coming summer.

                                  Thinking of you Kim!
                                  Mean Girls grow up to be Mean Women