Stallion Spotlight

Sir Donnerhall_02Beelitz

Real Estate Spotlight

IMG_0213
  • Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You�re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the Forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it�details of personal disputes may be better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts, though are not legally obligated to do so, regardless of content.

Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting. Moderators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts unless they have been alerted and have determined that a post, thread or user has violated the Forums� policies. Moderators do not regularly independently monitor the Forums for such violations.

Profanity, outright vulgarity, blatant personal insults or otherwise inappropriate statements will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Users may provide their positive or negative experiences with or opinions of companies, products, individuals, etc.; however, accounts involving allegations of criminal behavior against named individuals or companies MUST be first-hand accounts and may NOT be made anonymously.

If a situation has been reported upon by a reputable news source or addressed by law enforcement or the legal system it is open for discussion, but if an individual wants to make their own claims of criminal behavior against a named party in the course of that discussion, they too must identify themselves by first and last name and the account must be first-person.

Criminal allegations that do not satisfy these requirements, when brought to our attention, may be removed pending satisfaction of these criteria, and we reserve the right to err on the side of caution when making these determinations.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it�s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users� profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses � Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it�s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who�s selling it, it doesn�t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions � Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services � Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products � While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements � Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be �bumped� excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues � Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators� discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the �alert� button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your �Ignore� list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you�d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user�s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 5/9/18)
See more
See less

The Big C! RIP Kim, see pg. 218

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Great photo fargaloo !

    Comment


    • Great photo! So happy your ride went well and pretty sure Kim was with you.

      I was finally able to plant plant my flowers too. I have to admit I hate working in the yard, but this year while planting Kim was on my mind and it wasn’t as bad. I have perennials mostly but put impatiens down for color. Mom always had them so in her memory I keep the tradition. Mom also used to plant zinnias, and I know Kim liked them, so I apologized to both mom and Kim for not doing so. I’m not a fan. I did plant a couple milkweed so I hope they do good and attract butterflies.

      Comment


      • @faragloo, that's a great picture! You look so happy

        I'm sure Kim was with you in spirit that day. Nim is gorgeous.

        Comment


        • fargaloo, I thought of you (and Kim) when I saw this: https://www.npr.org/2019/06/30/73714...y-in-rare-form

          Comment


          • Aw thanks, skydy! Kim would have loved that.

            So, after consulting with Todd, I’m planning to go to MI this coming weekend (July 14) but best laid plans and all that...mom’s kind of precarious at the moment so not sure I will make it. I’ll let you know for sure either way.

            My tomatoes are coming in and I think of Kim every day when I water them.

            Love to all,
            m.

            Comment


            • Love those tomatoes! Take care Fargaloo.

              Comment


              • Fargaloo, did Todd have the memorial service this weekend? If so, I hope you were able to attend. You’ve mentioned your Mom’s health before and I hope she’s at least comfortable. I know that’s an odd statement, but when I was my mom’s caregiver that’s all I could ask for.

                Comment


                • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwLF68ue0Bg I am thinking of you Kim. Everyone who was here during your extremis and is aware of your death knows that you are gone. But you rocked it Kim, and you are not forgotten.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by scierra View Post
                    Fargaloo, did Todd have the memorial service this weekend? If so, I hope you were able to attend. You’ve mentioned your Mom’s health before and I hope she’s at least comfortable. I know that’s an odd statement, but when I was my mom’s caregiver that’s all I could ask for.
                    It isn't an odd statement at all. There are many of us that understand exactly what you are saying.

                    Fargaloo, you have been bearing the burden for a long time here. Thanks for hanging in.

                    If "what's his name" hasn't kept you, and us, in the the loop, then whatever.... We weren't expecting much from you Mister whatever-your-name-is.

                    Since you lived next door and we didn't, it was obvious that you couldn't be bothered .Whatever your relationship to any other human being, I hope you will buck up next time your fellow human is in dire straits and give a hand.

                    We couldn't check on her in person, but we gave her the attention that we could, at all hours,and we acknowledged her suffering and her death. It was not a burden. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5jlPL1tNDY

                    Hang in there Fargaloo..You are a sweetie.
                    Last edited by skydy; Jul. 19, 2019, 04:07 AM.

                    Comment


                    • Hey guys — sorry to be incommunicado. It’s been a rough week with Mom. She’s back home and pretty stable now, but seems to be accumulating issues that make life even more difficult and demoralizing. We are waiting on some diagnostics but I’m starting to feel that there’s just not that much scope for improvement. She is amazingly mentally strong, though— aside from a bit of “old person obsessiveness”, she’s still 100% with it, which is such a blessing. Thanks, all, for your kind and gentle words. So many of you know what this situation is all about and it’s a comfort to feel your support <3.

                      Because of mom’s emergency, I had to let Todd know that I couldn’t be there last Sunday. I said that if he had arranged something to go ahead without me because I didn’t want to disrupt plans, and that I’d be there in spirit. He never responded. I‘m starting to see more and more what Kim was talking about with regards to his quirks.. . Anyway, I hope he understands but if not, well, I guess that’s on him.

                      I do feel like I’ve let all you guys down, though. I know it was unavoidable but I had played it out so many times in my mind how I wanted to be there and represent us as “Team Kim” — to bear witness to how much she meant to us and how we all walked with her at the end. I guess I have to let it go — what matters the most is that she knew, and we knew, how much love there was (and is) for her and each other.

                      I still really hope that Todd will honour Kim’s request for me to take some of her ashes to Ireland. It’s really bothering me. I’ll wait a bit and reach out again to ask. If he won’t respond I guess I’ll have to let that go too and bring her in spirit. Wait and see, i guess.

                      Kim is so much with me these days, and I honestly feel her presence so much through Nim, who is turning out to be a freaking wondermare. A couple of days ago, i took her cattle sorting!! Today, we have our first dressage lesson — I’ll definitely be calling on Kim to whisper in Nim’s ear .

                      Thanks all for still being here and still remembering.

                      Love to all,
                      m.

                      Comment


                      • Stop, you didn’t let anyone down.You were there for her physically and verbally when she was alive. She doesn’t care where you are now because she is everywhere. I am happy to hear that your mom is a more stable.
                        McDowell Racing Stables

                        Home Away From Home

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by skydy View Post
                          If "what's his name" hasn't kept you, and us, in the the loop, then whatever.... We weren't expecting much from you Mister whatever-your-name-is.
                          Are you referring to Kim's ex husband, Todd, the one who took care of her when she was dying?!?

                          Comment


                          • M, you are not letting us down, at all. First, you need to be there for your mom, Kim of all people would understand that. Second, the rest of this is on Todd, he is dropping the ball here and not honoring Kim’s wishes. I hope he at least honors her enough to let you take her to Ireland, if not, she will still be with you in spirit. None of this surprises me about him, because of what Kim wrote. He was there when needed though and she didn’t pass alone in a cold house, so I’ll give him that.

                            Kim still is a pretty strong woman. It seems like her presence is still with a lot of us. I’ve been thinking of her a lot the last couple weeks. I’m happy to think of her riding along with you and Nim.

                            I dont know what your mom’s health issues are, but I do know how hard it is to be a caregiver for a parent. I was my Mom’s caregiver and it was mentally stressful even during the good times. My mom was mentally strong and healthy up to the last week. You and your family are in my thoughts

                            Comment


                            • fargaloo ~ you could never let us down ~ you’re a blessing to all ~

                              To Kim ~ the Cothers and Todd ( he appears to just be ‘Todd’ )

                              * wrap your mom up in love and comfort every day ~ you’re a blessing ~

                              Sending Jingles & AO for an easier and peaceful time period for you and your mom.

                              ((hugs)) laced with strength and patience ~ ((hugs))

                              Zu Zu Bailey " IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ! "

                              Comment


                              • Sending good vibes your way. Don’t beat yourself up for things outside your control
                                ~Veronica
                                "The Son Dee Times" "Sustained" "Somerset" "Franklin Square"
                                http://photobucket.com/albums/y192/vxf111/

                                Comment


                                • Originally posted by fargaloo View Post
                                  I do feel like I’ve let all you guys down, though. I know it was unavoidable but I had played it out so many times in my mind how I wanted to be there and represent us as “Team Kim” — to bear witness to how much she meant to us and how we all walked with her at the end. I guess I have to let it go — what matters the most is that she knew, and we knew, how much love there was (and is) for her and each other.
                                  M, you haven't let us down. First, you do have your own life to live and, at the moment, your own life challenges. Your mom is more important as she is in the here and now while as Laurierace said, Kim is here and she's not going anywhere.

                                  We'll always be Team Kim, walking with her forever and knowing that we were there for her as she will continue to be here for us when we need her. I know for me, she does pop in from time to time to make sure I am centered and keeping my priorities safe

                                  I will always respect Todd for taking her in and giving her a safe and warm place where she could feel comfortable enough to leave us.

                                  I always had the feeling that they (at least from Kim's perspective, the only one I have) a 'hard' relationship where, at times, still in love and at other times... intense dislike. There must have been something there for Kim to have married him and something there that finally tipped the scales in the other direction and she chose to no longer be married. I just hope Todd can piece together his feelings and allow Fargaloo to take some of Kim's ashes to Ireland. If not, I know Kim will still travel to Ireland with Fargaloo and we'll all go along for the ride.

                                  Miss ya' more than you'll ever know Kim...

                                  {{Fargaloo}}
                                  Maybe the reason I love animals so much is because the only time they have broken my heart is when they've crossed that rainbow bridge

                                  Comment


                                  • Thanks a lot for your kind words and understanding. I had just kind of hung my hat on the idea that we (through me) would be able to show just how important she was. She always downplayed herself so I wanted to bear witness to how her presence was really transformative for a lot of us. But you are right -- none of that really matters. She's with us still and she knows.

                                    And boy is she with us -- I don't know if it's because she was such a strong person, or maybe because we mostly interacted with her "long distance" anyway, but I swear I hear her voice in my head every day... mostly saying "Now, Monika...." LOL! To my Canadian ears, her accent was a bit different from mine -- I hear that in my head and it makes me smile

                                    Comment


                                    • We showed through you how important she was and IS right here. Being there for them when they are alive is a billion times more important than being “there” for them when they are gone. I put there in quotes because she is right here right now not wherever there is in my opinion. If someone else has a different view of the afterlife that is fine too.
                                      Last edited by Laurierace; Jul. 19, 2019, 11:07 PM.
                                      McDowell Racing Stables

                                      Home Away From Home

                                      Comment


                                      • Originally posted by vxf111 View Post
                                        Sending good vibes your way. Don’t beat yourself up for things outside your control
                                        fargaloo You let no one down.
                                        On the contrary, you are responsible for an uplifting thread the memorializes someone you loved in a way that keeps her memory alive and inspires others.

                                        As for ashes... Just "stuff" really.
                                        I still have 50% of DH's (his daughter has the other half) & almost 20yrs later, I still cannot decide exactly where he might have wanted them.
                                        If Todd allows you to do what you want it will be a blessing. But, if not, no strike against you or slight to Kim.

                                        Be grateful you are there for your Mom.
                                        My Dad was 2K miles away when he began his decline. Our weekly phone calls became bittersweet as I could barely make out his words, but the sound of his voice meant a lot.
                                        I managed several visits yearly, even considered moving me & horses closer, but that never materialized.
                                        The best thing that came of it all was peace between my brother (who became caretaker) & myself. Through no action I was aware of on my part, that had become rocky after a lifetime of closeness.

                                        Sorry to ramble.
                                        This thread just keeps giving and sometimes the memories surface, bringing tears, but in a Good Way.

                                        Off now to research the tomatoes I planted, now fruiting. For the life of me, I can't remember how big they should be when they start ripening.
                                        And I will think of you & Kim when they do.
                                        *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                                        Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                                        Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                                        Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

                                        Comment


                                        • fargaloo, absolutely do not beat yourself up! I will echo the others who said you were there for Kim while she was still physically with us. That was huge. You were very present in her life regardless of distance.

                                          I've always believed that what happens to the body after death really doesn't matter. Taking some of her ashes to Ireland is a sweet idea, but you can take her spirit no matter whether you have a piece of her physical being or not. Just like she is present for your rides. So don't stress if taking her ashes doesn't work out.

                                          I don't believe in an afterlife, but I do believe people's energy can stay with us. Kim's energy is with you, no matter where you happen to be.

                                          Now you are being there for your mother. That is extremely important as well.

                                          Huge hugs, Monika!

                                          Rebecca

                                          Comment

                                          Working...
                                          X