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  • Nice to see you Sannois ~
    You were wise to 'step back'
    Jingles & AO ~
    Zu Zu Bailey " IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ! "

    Comment


    • It's OK Sannois. Take your time, but don't stop communicating with your health care people or your friends.
      You are not nuts!. You are trying to absorb and process a lot of important and unpleasant information. It's not easy. It takes time to sift through it.

      Hang in there and please keep in touch. I believe I speak for most all of us when I say we are happy to be the wall on which you hurl your feelings, to see what pattern they make for you and if they stick. We'll reply and you can take what you like and leave the rest.

      Just know that we care.

      Comment


      • Sannois- what was the appointment for? I thought a CT was Thursday? Just breathe- 1 day, 1 hour, 1 minute at a time

        Comment


        • Step back, take a deep breath and refocus. Don't necessarily blame the doctors, they do this all the time so it becomes a routine to them without them giving a thought to the person dealing with all of the tests and procedures. Not that they are uncaring, they just don't often realizing just how overwhelming it all can be at a time when you have gotten some really bad news about yourself. Be upfront with them and let them know if you need to take it a bit slower, need information discussed in detail and that you need to time to process it. I'm sure they have your health in mind and wanting to address everything quickly. It would help to take someone with you to appointments that can take notes and help out.

          Comment


          • Temporarily stepping back a bit can be good, time to clear your head and breath.

            One day and one step at a time.
            Mean Girls grow up to be Mean Women

            Comment


            • My cousin who has been through late stage 3 cancer just said to me that the four most important words for you right now are I can do this. Just keep repeating it to yourself, even on those days that are the toughest. Because you CAN do this.
              If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.
              Desmond Tutu

              Comment


              • I know items like everything I coming at you fast, remember you are in control. Do tell your doctors to slow down, ask them to explain what they are doing, tests they are ordering, why if they make changes etc.

                Comment


                • It is overwhelming. One thing isn't so bad, or even two, but then appointments with people get stacked up, with a few more instructions thrown in, and it does become overwhelming.

                  I would have to ask somebody about the MRI vs. CT scan. Remind people that you don't have insurance. Instead of both, can you do the one thing that gives more information? That's likely the MRI. But would the CT scan, with contrast, yield sufficient information?

                  My DH's surgeon told me during one dark and uncertain time that doctors always want more information. They really do want to find the silver bullet to help you. But you, and your advocate, have to push back sometimes.

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                  • Yes, that is very very overwhelming. It's like trying to put 50 lbs of mud in a 5 lb sack in 5 minutes. No. No wonder you blew. I don't blame you. Yes, this is important BUT you need to do this in YOUR time, when you can deal. It's nice that they are trying to get this done for you but I think sometimes they forget the patient is a human being. Not a statistic. Your brain and your psyche can only handle so much at once.

                    I would opt for the MRI just because of the amount of info you'll get. More bang for the buck and no need to do both.

                    Just remember: One step at a time. And we are all here for you.
                    "Cats aren't clean; they're covered with cat spit."
                    - John S Nichols (1745-1846,writer/printer)

                    Don't come for me - I didn't send for you.

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      Thanks for validating my melt down guys! I have to remember I am in charge of me.
                      I do love the doc and nurse, And I know she will listen to me when I address all these tests.
                      My plan was to ask what is going to give doc the most info.
                      And Chemo is the first thing they will do anyway. Before Surgery.

                      Comment


                      • You are not nuts, just overwhelmed and overloaded. I have had meltdowns over MUCH smaller medical procedures. I had a mega-meltdown just this past week, as a matter of fact. I blew a gasket over something considered very routine and VERY minor. It happens.
                        Sometimes a person just needs to regroup and that is OK.
                        You can do this.
                        I am jingling hard for you!



                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Sannois View Post
                          I have to remember I am in charge of me.
                          YES, this and this again...saying no is always OK, so is slow down, explain it to me again...or anything else.
                          "He's not even a good pathological liar." Mara

                          "You're just a very desperate troll, and not even a good one. You're like middle-school troll at best. Like a goblin, not even a troll." et_fig

                          Comment


                          • Sorry you were overwhelmed. I know when I had scheduling to do, they often thought I was right down the block. (No, try 200 miles away.)
                            What I managed, though was to get appointments altogether, and then find a hotel to stay in nearby. And my cancer center in one of the most expensive cities. But if you ask, they can often refer you to hotels that give nicely reduced prices. They were still pretty expensive right nextdoor, but I found one whose price was almost 50% of an average price and maybe 5 miles away. And they had a shuttle driver, if needed.

                            Be sure to keep asking questions. Explain your situation. Keep asking what resources they might have for you.
                            But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all. H.C.Anderson

                            Comment


                            • MRI and CT will give them different information, both valuable in itself, so they already have a better plan for the surgery and treatments.

                              When they saw "a big mass" my OB immediately suspected advanced ovarian cancer, scheduled surgery right away because of it and decided no other was going to help any more than him going right in there to look at that.
                              To his surprise, it was not a tumor once in there, but a bunch of misplaced intestines in the wrong place.
                              He did say MRI would have told him more, but why waste that time.

                              Now, your mass may involve other tissues, your surgeon would like to know more what is there, where to go look and the surgery can wait for that, why they want that before going in.

                              When it comes to how they will do things, I too would question them, but still let them go with what they do every day, they know what they are doing.

                              They do have to realize that you have a life too and need to consider what fits what you want to do, not just tell you what they will do and not listen to how you feel about it.

                              Ask all along when you have questions, knowing what to expect makes whatever comes easier to provide for on our end, as patients.

                              Comment


                              • Do you have someone to be your advocate? It is all so overwhelming when it's happening, especially at first. My husband went thru this 4 years ago (stage 4 & is fine now, BTW - you got this!!). It is impossible to absorb everything & keep track of what you have to do, what you should do & what you would like to do. Having someone by your side to help is vital. I would catch stuff he totally missed.

                                I am surprised to hear they're talking chemo before surgery - did I read that right? Surgery was 1st thing for hubby, then they knew what/where they were dealing with and could design the chemo around that.

                                Comment


                                • Bluey is right. CTs and MRIs provide different information so both might be needed and remember both of these are less invasive and far easier on you than surgery

                                  Take a deep breath and don't be afraid to push back if you think things are happening too quickly. The nature of the treating physicals *is* to move quickly and promptly when diagnosing and treating for optimal outcomes. That doesn't mean you need to be on their freight train.

                                  I am not suggesting you wait weeks and months but take the time you need. This is where a patient advocate can help as they are advocating for what you need and want, not necessarily what the treatment team wants.
                                  Maybe the reason I love animals so much is because the only time they have broken my heart is when they've crossed that rainbow bridge

                                  Comment


                                  • Double appointments actually make sense .
                                    With that kind of drive, I`d rather spend one long day than have a few crazy mind breaking anxious days between procedures and there will be a whole radiologic team right there working together for You.

                                    Days of waiting before appointments is my worst enemy
                                    *************************
                                    Go, Baby, Go......
                                    Aefvue Farms Footing Inspector

                                    Comment


                                    • Originally posted by CindyB59 View Post
                                      Do you have someone to be your advocate? It is all so overwhelming when it's happening, especially at first. My husband went thru this 4 years ago (stage 4 & is fine now, BTW - you got this!!). It is impossible to absorb everything & keep track of what you have to do, what you should do & what you would like to do. Having someone by your side to help is vital. I would catch stuff he totally missed.

                                      I am surprised to hear they're talking chemo before surgery - did I read that right? Surgery was 1st thing for hubby, then they knew what/where they were dealing with and could design the chemo around that.
                                      My DH also had chemo before surgery. They wanted to shrink the tumors so they'd have clear margins when they operated. I think it's fairly typical for certain types of cancer.

                                      Comment


                                      • Being OVERWHELMED 24/7 is frightening !

                                        Tune out the noise...breathe

                                        Do what YOU can * WHEN you can; nothing more.

                                        Take care of 'you' in any way possible WHEN you can.

                                        Jingles !
                                        Treat others the way you want others to treat you ~ on your threads !

                                        Comment


                                        • Originally posted by CVPeg View Post
                                          Sorry you were overwhelmed. I know when I had scheduling to do, they often thought I was right down the block. (No, try 200 miles away.)
                                          What I managed, though was to get appointments altogether, and then find a hotel to stay in nearby. And my cancer center in one of the most expensive cities. But if you ask, they can often refer you to hotels that give nicely reduced prices. They were still pretty expensive right nextdoor, but I found one whose price was almost 50% of an average price and maybe 5 miles away. And they had a shuttle driver, if needed.

                                          Be sure to keep asking questions. Explain your situation. Keep asking what resources they might have for you.
                                          This is good advice. There are special medical rates at many hotels. The social worker will have a list and your doctors office will most likely have one as well.

                                          You may have to keep reminding them that you have a long drive to get there. They won't always remember, and sometimes you may find yourself speaking with someone who doesn't know you.

                                          Chemo and/or radiation is often done before surgery. Nothing weird about that.

                                          Hang in there Sannois!

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