• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

34 Things You Can Only Say In A Barn...

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • 34 Things You Can Only Say In A Barn...

    Enjoy all!

    1. He won't come into my hands!
    2. There's nothing like having 17 hands between your legs.
    3. I'm gonna get off now.
    4. More leg, less hand...
    5. It was a great ride, but hes kinda sticky.
    6. He needs a good 20 min warm-up...
    7. Relax your back, dont pinch with your knees, go with the motion, rock your pelvis...

    8. When he gets excited he really foams up!
    9. If he's not ridden 5 days a week he gets cranky...
    10. I rode him yesterday, but Samm is gonna ride him today.
    11. Go ahead, ride him, you'll like him...he'll be good for you
    12. Push!!! Squeeze!!! Pull hard!!!
    13. He's being a pig, get his head up!
    14. He bends to the left, but he's really stiff to the right.
    15. He really over reacts when I sit down into him...
    16. Smack him if he refuses!
    17. Good, thats looks much better with his head down.
    18. Dont pump too much.
    19. You want his hindquarters to be balanced and even with yours.
    20. If you squeeze with your thighs and legs he'll take off earlier.
    21. You two perform really well with each other!
    22. I need spurs and a whip to really get him going.
    23. Turn him loose for a while, get rid of some of that energy!
    24. I rode bareback today.
    25. He's/She's been around, and very experianced.
    26. I'm gonna do him in Short Stirrup and my trainer will ride him in the Hopeful class.
    27. He's too much for her, maybe you should get on.
    28. He's a bit of a bumpy ride, just try not to grip with your thighs too much.
    29. Make sure you release.
    30. Don't lean forward unless you want him to go faster.
    31. As he comes up, lean forward and run your hands up the crest of his neck.
    32. Squeeze and release... squeeze and release...give and take...
    33. "How was he today?" reply... "Excellent, very obedient for once."
    34. Wow, I just love riding the big ones!!!!!

    Surely we can add on & make this 100 Things You Can Only Say In A Barn!

  • #2

    Now I know why people stare at my friend and I at the pub while we have beers after a ride.

    NOTE: it's NOT because we're wearing breeches and half chaps I suspect.
    Last edited by BuddyRoo; Nov. 15, 2007, 04:03 PM. Reason: sp
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...


    • #3
      Well, sometimes after a good ride with Blaze (and when there is no one else within hearing distance), I'll pat his neck and say to him, "So, was it as good for you as it was for me?"
      Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
      People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
      "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique


      • #4
        35. Stop - so I can take your rubbers & chains off!
        I'm not a CPA.


        • #5
          36) Now where did I leave that whip?!?!?!


          • #6
            37) What kind of leather is really the best for grip, fit, quality, and flexibility?
            38) And do you prefer your leather black or brown?


            • #7
              That is great! That explains all those times at a Diner or Food store when people would stare at my best friend and I - it all makes perfect sense LOL - It wasnt because of the barn attire at all !


              • #8
                39) How long of a shaft do I need for my new driving pony?
                40) Where on earth is that SEMEN? Should've been here hours ago!

                Click here before you buy.


                • #9
                  along the lines of the semen thing, i once yelled at the barn dog to stop yelling at the fedex guy: "knock it off, he's bringing us babies!" then had to explain to the guy what was actually IN that funny looking blue container....
                  Different Times Equestrian Ventures at Hidden Spring Ranch


                  • #10
                    Yay!! you POOPED!!! (to a horse with impaction colic)


                    • #11
                      I'm spitting my drink all over the screen. LoL I can't let the fiance read this one..he'll get jealous of my horse!!
                      Horses are the way into a woman's heart!


                      • #12
                        Something I heard from an instructor during a lesson:

                        "wrap him around your leg like it's a stripper pole"!


                        • #13
                          41) "Dang it, Doc, did he ejaculate yet or is he still messing around?" (said to the vet handling the rookie live-cover-breeding stallion who wouldn't get to 4th base and finish up)

                          42) "Easy there, son, you've gotta love on them a little bit first, before you hop up." (same vet, to aforementioned stallion)

                          I can't even tell you all the wild-eyed looks I got when discussion breeding issues over the phone when I worked as the Exec to a local CEO. I was rather famous, rather fast in that company. What do you expect when you eavesdrop, I ask??
                          "And now," cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!"


                          • #14
                            *spits gatorade onto screen*


                            • #15
                              42. I know you like the big one's, but I prefer mine a bit smaller.


                              • #16
                                Of a less sexual nature I once asked if a mare threw her legs and a woman asked me if it was dangerous, true story.
                                RIP Kelly 1977-2007 "Wither thou goest, so shall I"

                                "To tilt when you should withdraw is Knightly too."


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by Blue Yonder:

                                  42) "Easy there, son, you've gotta love on them a little bit first, before you hop up." (same vet, to aforementioned stallion)
                                  The vet oughta sell that line to some country singer-songwriter--he'd make a fortune in royalties!
                                  Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
                                  People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
                                  "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique


                                  • #18
                                    Was once discussing prevailing stud fees with an older gentleman rider in a business office. Another man walked by, looked at me, looked at the older man, and said "Isn't he a little OLD to be demanding a stud fee?"
                                    Comprehensive Equestrian Site Planning and Facility Design


                                    • #19

                                      Love them all!!


                                      • #20
                                        45. You look good on him!
                                        \"For all those men who say, \"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,\" here\'s an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it\'s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.\"-