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34 Things You Can Only Say In A Barn...

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  • 34 Things You Can Only Say In A Barn...

    Enjoy all!

    1. He won't come into my hands!
    2. There's nothing like having 17 hands between your legs.
    3. I'm gonna get off now.
    4. More leg, less hand...
    5. It was a great ride, but hes kinda sticky.
    6. He needs a good 20 min warm-up...
    7. Relax your back, dont pinch with your knees, go with the motion, rock your pelvis...

    8. When he gets excited he really foams up!
    9. If he's not ridden 5 days a week he gets cranky...
    10. I rode him yesterday, but Samm is gonna ride him today.
    11. Go ahead, ride him, you'll like him...he'll be good for you
    12. Push!!! Squeeze!!! Pull hard!!!
    13. He's being a pig, get his head up!
    14. He bends to the left, but he's really stiff to the right.
    15. He really over reacts when I sit down into him...
    16. Smack him if he refuses!
    17. Good, thats looks much better with his head down.
    18. Dont pump too much.
    19. You want his hindquarters to be balanced and even with yours.
    20. If you squeeze with your thighs and legs he'll take off earlier.
    21. You two perform really well with each other!
    22. I need spurs and a whip to really get him going.
    23. Turn him loose for a while, get rid of some of that energy!
    24. I rode bareback today.
    25. He's/She's been around, and very experianced.
    26. I'm gonna do him in Short Stirrup and my trainer will ride him in the Hopeful class.
    27. He's too much for her, maybe you should get on.
    28. He's a bit of a bumpy ride, just try not to grip with your thighs too much.
    29. Make sure you release.
    30. Don't lean forward unless you want him to go faster.
    31. As he comes up, lean forward and run your hands up the crest of his neck.
    32. Squeeze and release... squeeze and release...give and take...
    33. "How was he today?" reply... "Excellent, very obedient for once."
    34. Wow, I just love riding the big ones!!!!!

    Surely we can add on & make this 100 Things You Can Only Say In A Barn!

  • #2


    Now I know why people stare at my friend and I at the pub while we have beers after a ride.

    NOTE: it's NOT because we're wearing breeches and half chaps I suspect.
    Last edited by BuddyRoo; Nov. 15, 2007, 04:03 PM. Reason: sp
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...

    Comment


    • #3
      Well, sometimes after a good ride with Blaze (and when there is no one else within hearing distance), I'll pat his neck and say to him, "So, was it as good for you as it was for me?"
      Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
      People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
      "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique

      Comment


      • #4
        35. Stop - so I can take your rubbers & chains off!
        I'm not a CPA.

        Comment


        • #5
          36) Now where did I leave that whip?!?!?!

          Comment


          • #6
            37) What kind of leather is really the best for grip, fit, quality, and flexibility?
            38) And do you prefer your leather black or brown?

            Comment


            • #7
              That is great! That explains all those times at a Diner or Food store when people would stare at my best friend and I - it all makes perfect sense LOL - It wasnt because of the barn attire at all !

              Comment


              • #8
                39) How long of a shaft do I need for my new driving pony?
                40) Where on earth is that SEMEN? Should've been here hours ago!

                Click here before you buy.

                Comment


                • #9
                  along the lines of the semen thing, i once yelled at the barn dog to stop yelling at the fedex guy: "knock it off, he's bringing us babies!" then had to explain to the guy what was actually IN that funny looking blue container....
                  Different Times Equestrian Ventures at Hidden Spring Ranch
                  www.DifferentTimesEquestrianVentures.com

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Yay!! you POOPED!!! (to a horse with impaction colic)
                    -Jessica

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm spitting my drink all over the screen. LoL I can't let the fiance read this one..he'll get jealous of my horse!!
                      Horses are the way into a woman's heart!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Something I heard from an instructor during a lesson:

                        "wrap him around your leg like it's a stripper pole"!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          41) "Dang it, Doc, did he ejaculate yet or is he still messing around?" (said to the vet handling the rookie live-cover-breeding stallion who wouldn't get to 4th base and finish up)

                          42) "Easy there, son, you've gotta love on them a little bit first, before you hop up." (same vet, to aforementioned stallion)

                          I can't even tell you all the wild-eyed looks I got when discussion breeding issues over the phone when I worked as the Exec to a local CEO. I was rather famous, rather fast in that company. What do you expect when you eavesdrop, I ask??
                          "And now," cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            *spits gatorade onto screen*
                            www.justworldinternational.org

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              42. I know you like the big one's, but I prefer mine a bit smaller.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Of a less sexual nature I once asked if a mare threw her legs and a woman asked me if it was dangerous, true story.
                                RIP Kelly 1977-2007 "Wither thou goest, so shall I"

                                "To tilt when you should withdraw is Knightly too."

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by Blue Yonder:

                                  42) "Easy there, son, you've gotta love on them a little bit first, before you hop up." (same vet, to aforementioned stallion)
                                  The vet oughta sell that line to some country singer-songwriter--he'd make a fortune in royalties!
                                  Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
                                  People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
                                  "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Was once discussing prevailing stud fees with an older gentleman rider in a business office. Another man walked by, looked at me, looked at the older man, and said "Isn't he a little OLD to be demanding a stud fee?"
                                    Comprehensive Equestrian Site Planning and Facility Design
                                    www.lynnlongplanninganddesign.com

                                    Comment


                                    • #19

                                      Love them all!!

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        45. You look good on him!
                                        \"For all those men who say, \"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,\" here\'s an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it\'s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.\"-

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