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The Dumbest Resident...Ever. Yes, horse related!

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  • The Dumbest Resident...Ever. Yes, horse related!

    [SIZE=2]I have to tell you my experience at the Gynocologists office yesterday because it was just so....ridiculous and funny. There are parts that may be TMI, but at this point who cares.

    I have to see my Gyno on a more frequent basis due to my recent history of HPV. Fortunately, I have a wonderful Gyno who is a cross between a sweet grandmother and a best friend. She's great! She also takes young residents in for training and they usually rotate every month or so. The last two residents she has had made Rasputin look like a sissy - never before have I considered a speculum a weapon of mass destruction. So when I met yesterdays resident, hereafter known as "Sparky", I was happily surprised to find her to be a jovial and smiling young lady - I thought that this chick may actually have a chance at not being kicked in the head by me.

    And then the exam started.
    Sparky entered the room after I undressed, with a nurse (whom I have come to know and like quite a bit) and "started". After a minute she looked dismayed and looked up at me and asked if I knew that I had a rash.
    Me: No, I ride.
    Sparky: Ride what?
    Me: Dressage.
    Sparky: Is that a kind of Harley?
    Me: No, it's on a horse.
    Sparky: Like a motorcycle?
    The nurse: It's a horse, Doctor.
    Sparky: Oh. But you have "irritation down here".
    Me: Yeah - I ride.
    The nurse: A horse.

    I continued to lay helpless on the examining table whilst Sparky pondered the difference between a horse and a Harley and while the nurse fruitlessly tried to explain what exactly it is that I do for a living. A few moments later my Gyno - my shining light of sanity and hope - entered the room. At this point Sparky almost leapt out of her chair and exclaimed "She has a rash!". At which point, without even turning her head to look, my Gyno said "No she doesn't - she rides."

    Had I not been held hostage by a speculum I would have burst out laughing.
    So after a few seconds of trying to gather her thoughts Sparky looked at me and asked "What kind of Harley do you ride?"
    Dr.: She rides a horse.
    The nurse: And does Dressage.

    A few more seconds passed.
    Sparky: So what color horse does Dressage?"
    The nurse and my Dr. both dropped what they were holding and I raised my head and looked her in the eye and said
    "The brown ones."
    My doctor then shooed Sparky out of the way and finished the exam herself, much to my relief.

    Thus ended my visit to the gynocologists office.

  • #2

    There is to Sparky!

    And to the fact that my coffee mug was empty at the moment!


    • #3
      Ha! Well written.
      Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans


      • #4
        The really scary part is that she's a doctor. And will be treating patients. On her own. In the near future.


        • #5
          Originally posted by LauraKY View Post
          The really scary part is that she's a doctor. And will be treating patients. On her own. In the near future.
          They'll be alright as long as they ride Dressage on a brown Harley!


          • #6
            What? Am I supposed to have a rash,I must be doing it wrong!


            • #7
              Almost spewed coffee at your response! Fabulous...
              "Remain relentlessly cheerful."

              Graphite/Pastel Portraits


              • #8
                OMG. That is funny stuff.
                A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                Might be a reason, never an excuse...


                • #9
                  "The brown one"....LOL
                  Author Page
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                  Steampunk Sweethearts


                  • #10
                    OMG!! I work with residents, but I've NEVER known one like Sparky! Best thread in AGES!!
                    Flip a coin. It's not what side lands that matters, but what side you were hoping for when the coin was still in the air.

                    You call it boxed wine. I call it carboardeaux.


                    • #11
                      Ahahahaha... well written and hilarious! It would have been even better if your horse was called Harley!
                      Different flavors of crazy, but totally NUTS. You know its true. - GreyHunterHorse



                      • #12
                        Originally posted by blackcat95 View Post
                        Ahahahaha... well written and hilarious! It would have been even better if your horse was called Harley!
                        Show name for the next one: A Harley for Sparky!


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Alagirl View Post
                          Show name for the next one: A Harley for Sparky!
                          You made my day!
                          Quality Hunter Ponies


                          • #14
                            rotflmao It's amazing how stupid you can be and still make it through med school. WOW. I hope you are none the worse for your "exam".
                            If i'm posting on Coth, it's either raining so I can't ride or it's night time and I can't sleep.


                            • #15
                              "Me: No, I ride.
                              Sparky: Ride what?
                              Me: Dressage.
                              Sparky: Is that a kind of Harley?
                              Me: No, it's on a horse."

                              I think YOU caused Sparky's confusion by assuming too much. You could have said, "I ride horses." She didn't ask how or what kind? Dressage is not the answer. JMHO


                              • #16
                                Slightly off-topic, but jingles for the HPV. TMI, true, but I've been there and it was hell. Not fun at all...

                                And I definitely don't like having stupid conversations during those exams. It's like, seriously, this isn't a date, I don't want to talk to you right now. I just want to stare at the ceiling and the pretty pictures you've posted there, thank you. C'mon.
                                COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                                "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


                                • #17
                                  Love this thread, although it should frighten Sparky's future patients to DEATH!

                                  Your Gyno kills me.

                                  HPV is survivable, hope yours is addressed as uneventfully as mine was. Jingles.
                                  I tolerate all kinds of animal idiosyncrasies.
                                  I've found that I don't tolerate people idiosyncrasies as well. - Casey09


                                  • Original Poster

                                    Melzy, dang it, it was a funny story. Lighten up. Next time I have a metal instument shoved up my yahoo I will give serious consideration to a better constructed answer when asked what I do.

                                    And thank you to those of you who have inquired. After many unpleasant procedures the HPV seems to be on it's way to being history. It is a scourge more women need to become educated about - but hopefully not the way I was


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by fargonefarm View Post
                                      And thank you to those of you who have inquired. After many unpleasant procedures the HPV seems to be on it's way to being history. It is a scourge more women need to become educated about - but hopefully not the way I was
                                      I wish there were better tests available for men!

                                      But anyway...I still think it's funny.

                                      I had a similar experience because I have "callouses" in places where I guess one normally wouldn't. Well, I don't now. But a few years ago when I was undergoing lots of under carriage procedures, I was riding 3-4 hours per day and had lots of callouses. Freaked out more than a few technicians.
                                      A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                                      Might be a reason, never an excuse...


                                      • #20
                                        I never cease to be amazed...
                                        a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues