• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

The Dumbest Resident...Ever. Yes, horse related!

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • The Dumbest Resident...Ever. Yes, horse related!

    [SIZE=2]I have to tell you my experience at the Gynocologists office yesterday because it was just so....ridiculous and funny. There are parts that may be TMI, but at this point who cares.

    I have to see my Gyno on a more frequent basis due to my recent history of HPV. Fortunately, I have a wonderful Gyno who is a cross between a sweet grandmother and a best friend. She's great! She also takes young residents in for training and they usually rotate every month or so. The last two residents she has had made Rasputin look like a sissy - never before have I considered a speculum a weapon of mass destruction. So when I met yesterdays resident, hereafter known as "Sparky", I was happily surprised to find her to be a jovial and smiling young lady - I thought that this chick may actually have a chance at not being kicked in the head by me.

    And then the exam started.
    Sparky entered the room after I undressed, with a nurse (whom I have come to know and like quite a bit) and "started". After a minute she looked dismayed and looked up at me and asked if I knew that I had a rash.
    Me: No, I ride.
    Sparky: Ride what?
    Me: Dressage.
    Sparky: Is that a kind of Harley?
    Me: No, it's on a horse.
    Sparky: Like a motorcycle?
    The nurse: It's a horse, Doctor.
    Sparky: Oh. But you have "irritation down here".
    Me: Yeah - I ride.
    The nurse: A horse.

    I continued to lay helpless on the examining table whilst Sparky pondered the difference between a horse and a Harley and while the nurse fruitlessly tried to explain what exactly it is that I do for a living. A few moments later my Gyno - my shining light of sanity and hope - entered the room. At this point Sparky almost leapt out of her chair and exclaimed "She has a rash!". At which point, without even turning her head to look, my Gyno said "No she doesn't - she rides."

    Had I not been held hostage by a speculum I would have burst out laughing.
    So after a few seconds of trying to gather her thoughts Sparky looked at me and asked "What kind of Harley do you ride?"
    Dr.: She rides a horse.
    The nurse: And does Dressage.

    A few more seconds passed.
    Sparky: So what color horse does Dressage?"
    The nurse and my Dr. both dropped what they were holding and I raised my head and looked her in the eye and said
    "The brown ones."
    My doctor then shooed Sparky out of the way and finished the exam herself, much to my relief.

    Thus ended my visit to the gynocologists office.
    [/SIZE]

  • #2



    There is to Sparky!

    And to the fact that my coffee mug was empty at the moment!

    Comment


    • #3
      Ha! Well written.
      Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans

      Comment


      • #4
        The really scary part is that she's a doctor. And will be treating patients. On her own. In the near future.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by LauraKY View Post
          The really scary part is that she's a doctor. And will be treating patients. On her own. In the near future.
          They'll be alright as long as they ride Dressage on a brown Harley!

          Comment


          • #6
            What? Am I supposed to have a rash,I must be doing it wrong!

            Comment


            • #7
              Almost spewed coffee at your response! Fabulous...
              "Remain relentlessly cheerful."

              Graphite/Pastel Portraits

              Comment


              • #8
                OMG. That is funny stuff.
                A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                Might be a reason, never an excuse...

                Comment


                • #9
                  "The brown one"....LOL
                  Author Page
                  Like Omens In the Night on Facebook
                  Steampunk Sweethearts

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    OMG!! I work with residents, but I've NEVER known one like Sparky! Best thread in AGES!!
                    Flip a coin. It's not what side lands that matters, but what side you were hoping for when the coin was still in the air.

                    You call it boxed wine. I call it carboardeaux.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Ahahahaha... well written and hilarious! It would have been even better if your horse was called Harley!
                      Different flavors of crazy, but totally NUTS. You know its true. - GreyHunterHorse

                      http://showertimecontemplations.blogspot.com/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by blackcat95 View Post
                        Ahahahaha... well written and hilarious! It would have been even better if your horse was called Harley!
                        Show name for the next one: A Harley for Sparky!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Alagirl View Post
                          Show name for the next one: A Harley for Sparky!
                          You made my day!
                          www.Somermistfarm.com
                          Quality Hunter Ponies

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            rotflmao It's amazing how stupid you can be and still make it through med school. WOW. I hope you are none the worse for your "exam".
                            If i'm posting on Coth, it's either raining so I can't ride or it's night time and I can't sleep.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              "Me: No, I ride.
                              Sparky: Ride what?
                              Me: Dressage.
                              Sparky: Is that a kind of Harley?
                              Me: No, it's on a horse."

                              I think YOU caused Sparky's confusion by assuming too much. You could have said, "I ride horses." She didn't ask how or what kind? Dressage is not the answer. JMHO

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Slightly off-topic, but jingles for the HPV. TMI, true, but I've been there and it was hell. Not fun at all...

                                And I definitely don't like having stupid conversations during those exams. It's like, seriously, this isn't a date, I don't want to talk to you right now. I just want to stare at the ceiling and the pretty pictures you've posted there, thank you. C'mon.
                                COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                                "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Love this thread, although it should frighten Sparky's future patients to DEATH!

                                  Your Gyno kills me.

                                  HPV is survivable, hope yours is addressed as uneventfully as mine was. Jingles.
                                  I tolerate all kinds of animal idiosyncrasies.
                                  I've found that I don't tolerate people idiosyncrasies as well. - Casey09

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    Melzy, dang it, it was a funny story. Lighten up. Next time I have a metal instument shoved up my yahoo I will give serious consideration to a better constructed answer when asked what I do.
                                    Seriously.
                                    Just....seriously.

                                    And thank you to those of you who have inquired. After many unpleasant procedures the HPV seems to be on it's way to being history. It is a scourge more women need to become educated about - but hopefully not the way I was

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by fargonefarm View Post
                                      And thank you to those of you who have inquired. After many unpleasant procedures the HPV seems to be on it's way to being history. It is a scourge more women need to become educated about - but hopefully not the way I was
                                      I wish there were better tests available for men!

                                      But anyway...I still think it's funny.

                                      I had a similar experience because I have "callouses" in places where I guess one normally wouldn't. Well, I don't now. But a few years ago when I was undergoing lots of under carriage procedures, I was riding 3-4 hours per day and had lots of callouses. Freaked out more than a few technicians.
                                      A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                                      Might be a reason, never an excuse...

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        I never cease to be amazed...
                                        www.specialhorses.org
                                        a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                                        Comment

                                        Working...
                                        X