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DH & me in argument

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  • DH & me in argument

    Facts: approached by person in barn. PIB wants my older child to show their greenie in adv class to get greenie more experence and see new sites. PIB has a younger child that will show greenie in beg class.

    I offered to help pay show expenses-hauling, getting ready, etc. DH went postal. PIB asked our child to show, PIB should pay expenses.

    What do you think?
    “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker

  • #2
    I think it was very nice of you to offer, but I do think the PIB should pay if they asked.


    • #3
      Not to be dense but what is a PIB?


      • Original Poster

        Person in Barn
        “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker


        • #5
          I agree that since PIB asked, PIB should pay.
          I'm not ignoring the rules. I'm interpreting the rules. Tamal, The Great British Baking Show


          • #6
            I've done this with horses before, but more of a I have nice horse to show but unable to show youth, other person had no horse really suitable (had packer but kid was more advanced) offered to let them use horse if they wanted.

            I think you should pay for the classes your child will show in and chip for braiding or whatever if the class your kid is in is one where braiding is required.
            Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
            Sam: A job? Does it pay?
            Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
            Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.


            • #7
              Originally posted by Grataan View Post
              I think you should pay for the classes your child will show in and chip for braiding or whatever if the class your kid is in is one where braiding is required.


              • Original Poster

                chip in means ?
                “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker


                • #9
                  My feeling is, if they ASKED your daughter to ride because it will benefit THEM, then they should pay. If it is for the sole benefit of your DAUGHTER, then you should pay.


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by JohnDeere View Post
                    chip in means ?

                    like 50/50?

                    I mean, last time I looked getting a horse to show was a pretty good deal, unless DD already has a truck load to take care off, it's a win/win, pony gets mileage and DD another horse to ride. After all the more different horses we ride the better we get as rider.

                    I am considering paying once own way as payment for future reputation. You know, even if you are offered the ride without your own monetary involvement, down the line it bites you in the but not paying.

                    So here is what *I* would pay:
                    my own classes
                    half the braiding.

                    I guess the stabling and trailering is the same whether DD rides a couple classes or not...


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by JohnDeere View Post
                      Facts: approached by person in barn. PIB wants my older child to show their greenie in adv class to get greenie more experence and see new sites. PIB has a younger child that will show greenie in beg class.

                      I offered to help pay show expenses-hauling, getting ready, etc. DH went postal. PIB asked our child to show, PIB should pay expenses.

                      What do you think?
                      I think the bolded part above is why PIB should pay. She needs a service from your older child. One that benefits horse and PIB. PIB should pay the show costs.
                      "Aye God, Woodrow..."


                      • #12
                        I rode other people's horses a lot as a kid. Maybe things have changed since then, but IME, the PIB should pay all expenses and have the horse groomed and prepared for the show. Your kid should be ready to ride on time, warm the horse up appropriately and give the horse her best ride. Afterwards she should compliment the horse and thank the owners for the chance to ride it. I do not think you or your daughter should be expected to contribute any of the entry fees or other expenses.

                        The situation would be different if someone was offering your daughter an experienced show horse to ride, that would be a really nice deal! But putting miles on a greenbean is a totally different situation! In this case, with a horse who needs some mileage, it sounds like the PIB is looking for someone to help them improve their horse and prepare it for their kid. So, PIB pays all expenses.

                        Now that you have offered to help pay, there isn't any polite way to go back on that, so I think you and your daughter are stuck this time unless you back out of it completely.


                        • Original Poster

                          Not that it changes a thing but PIB is someone Ive known for years. Not a stranger who just happened to walk in. I ASSUME this horse will be available all show season.

                          Its a chance for DD to ride something else, which helps DD as well as horse. DD is not ready for upper levels but is solid and stays on pretty well.

                          I wouldnt back out anyway. I like the paying 1/2 getting ready and class fee idea.

                          Lets oretend that we take horse when smaller child isnt going. Would we pay 100% or what?
                          “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker


                          • #14
                            I think either paying part or letting the owner pick up all the bills is okay, depending on the details. I'd probably pay for my child's classes and for part of the braiding, but that's just me (also, I'd definitely want my kid to be able to keep the ribbons and awards, so would feel better about that if I paid class fees).

                            If you are taking the pony on your own, I think it really depends on how the owner feels about it. If they approach you because their kid can't go but they really want the pony at the show, then they should pay. If you just want your daughter to have another horse to ride, then you should pay.

                            Probably the best thing to do is just discuss this upfront with the owner. If you guys have a good relationship, it should be pretty easy to figure it all out.
                            exploring the relationship between horse and human


                            • #15
                              You're married to your husband, not the PIB. Why is he against it?


                              • #16
                                PIB pays.

                                They initiated the topic, not you. You didn't ask to show the horse. They want your DD to show it to gain mileage & experience plus have it prepared for their child to show in later classes. They will also get to choose which shows & when (DD could show it once, could show it all summer). Your daughter is the catch rider who shows up at the designated time & does as instructed.
                                "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by Come Shine View Post
                                  Not to be dense but what is a PIB?
                                  I'm glad you asked, because until someone set that straight, I was thinking "Pain in Butt"!
                                  The journey is the destination.


                                  • #18
                                    go dutch - half and half sorted


                                    • #19
                                      A week ago I asked the mother of a good riding jr. exhibitor if her daughter could show my horse (horse is for sale, belongs in jr. ex ranks but I don't have a kid). I fully expect to pay 100% of the show fees. I asked them, and they are doing me a favor.

                                      However, I will be keeping all prizes and winnings, should there be any.


                                      • #20
                                        I think you need to iron out more details. If you want your child to be able to keep any ribbons or prize money (or split prize money) or awards, then, yeah, 50/50 or some other arrangements might be agreed to. If PIB wants the horse to get experience and is paying all the fees, transportation, stabling, etc., then PIB gets to keep anything the horse wins. If you don't care, then let PIB pay everything. Otherwise, I don't think it's unreasonable to pay part of the expenses. (And be sure about insurance arrangements, both for your child AND the PIB"s horse!).