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WWYD? Financial Expectations

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  • WWYD? Financial Expectations

    Wondering how you handle the following situation, if it applies to you (or how you would handle it if it doesn't...):

    I am saving for a truck & trailer but it'll be a while until I can afford it. In the meantime, I get rides with my training partner pretty much every time she goes out (once a week) and I give her gas money for it. That's usually between $10 and $20, depending on distance (between one and two hour drives.)

    So far (ca. four months now) this arrangement has worked really well. She can cut her expenses down and we both have someone to ride and train with. (We also ride on our own around the farm and in the arena.)

    Now the five years on her trailer tires are up and they need to be replaced. Also, the brakes on her truck are due. She has mentioned this several times in the last week, maybe because it's on her mind and/or because it's a hint to me. I don't want to be insensitive and ignore it, or be paranoid and think it's a message meant for me, but now I do feel I need to offer her money for this. If I was "flush" right now, I would just do it and not worry about since she is doing me a favor by taking me and I really appreciate it. But it's hard right now and anything extra gets put aside for above mentioned trailer of my own. I was hoping that my gas money is enough of a contribution to cover "wear & tear" but maybe it isn't?

    What do you think? What would you expect from someone you're giving rides to, aside from gas money?

  • #2
    Expect, no. Appreciate, yes.
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    • #3
      Why don't you ask her? Just say how much you appreciate catching a ride with her while you're saving for your truck and that you'd like to check that you are contributing enough.

      I've been on the driving side of the equation and there have been times when I've wondered about the folks who leave $5 on my dashboard and think that they've contributed their fair share. Yes, I like having the company for rides but there have been times when I feel like someone's taking advantage, especially when I am always the one who trailers.

      Honestly, $10 for an hour's trailering seems light to me. My truck only gets about 13 mpg when I'm towing and that's just gas.

      Now, having said that, there are legal issues to consider if you accept more than gas money. It turns you into a commercial hauler and makes you liable for a lot more.

      Best though to have a discussion with her. I know I'd appreciate it if I were in her position.

      Note: there have been times when people have offered me more money that I think is necessary, too. I don't accept it but I always appreciate the fact that they understand that I'm doing something extra for them.
      Equine Ink - My soapbox for equestrian writings & reviews.
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      • Original Poster

        #4
        Yes, Bogie, you're right...
        As soon as I posted my question here, I realized I just need to ask her straight up. So I wrote her an email, saying pretty much what you said I will probably have to contribute more money but so be it. I don't want to appear cheap when I really appreciate the favor.
        Boy, I can't wait to be independent and not have to worry about this kind of thing anymore...

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        • #5
          I wouldn't expect it. Did you "buy lunch" on any of those trips? If not, you should have -- and I'd think that would be enough "extra".

          The five years on the tires would have expired whether or not you ever went along (or whether or not SHE went anywhere, either). The brakes would have worn out whether or not you ever went along. If she made a lot of trips just for you and didn't go herself, then maybe I'd think different.

          But if she's pinching her pennies also, then being able to split the cost of gas might have made the difference between her being able to go or not, or at least allowed her to go more often. The favor here isn't all a one-way street.
          Last edited by greysandbays; Apr. 7, 2010, 01:54 PM. Reason: clarification

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Bogie View Post
            Honestly, $10 for an hour's trailering seems light to me. My truck only gets about 13 mpg when I'm towing and that's just gas.
            That was my first thought.


            Other things you might do to help make the trailer owning friend not feel so used is you always bring things like cold drinks, etc.

            Glad you sent an email.

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            • #7
              Contributing to her expenses would be a wonderful gesture. Afterall, you're still coming out MUCH cheaper than forking out the money for your own truck/trailer. I don't mind offering rides, but to those without your own wheels. there is a lot more expense to having access to transportation than merely 1/2 the cost of gas.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Lieselotte View Post
                Wondering how you handle the following situation, if it applies to you (or how you would handle it if it doesn't...):

                I am saving for a truck & trailer but it'll be a while until I can afford it. In the meantime, I get rides with my training partner pretty much every time she goes out (once a week) and I give her gas money for it. That's usually between $10 and $20, depending on distance (between one and two hour drives.)

                So far (ca. four months now) this arrangement has worked really well. She can cut her expenses down and we both have someone to ride and train with. (We also ride on our own around the farm and in the arena.)

                Now the five years on her trailer tires are up and they need to be replaced. Also, the brakes on her truck are due. She has mentioned this several times in the last week, maybe because it's on her mind and/or because it's a hint to me. I don't want to be insensitive and ignore it, or be paranoid and think it's a message meant for me, but now I do feel I need to offer her money for this. If I was "flush" right now, I would just do it and not worry about since she is doing me a favor by taking me and I really appreciate it. But it's hard right now and anything extra gets put aside for above mentioned trailer of my own. I was hoping that my gas money is enough of a contribution to cover "wear & tear" but maybe it isn't?

                What do you think? What would you expect from someone you're giving rides to, aside from gas money?
                Well, I haven't read any additional posts because I want to give my opinion off the cuff - and that is that she is going too far by asking for brakes and tires. If she were honestly computing out her wear and tear on the vehicle she would be asking for the x amount of cents per mile depreciation and charging you precisely 50% of the fuel used (and I am positive she knows the fuel consumption of her rig - we all do).
                However - she can't charge you anything - you have to offer it as a gift, or she gets into the "for hire" issues of licensing, insurance etc..
                If you choose to give her a gift to help cover the cost of tires then feel free to do so - but if she is hinting around that you should I don't feel you are obligated.
                Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
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                • #9
                  Coming from someone who last year dropped 500.00 on trailer tires, and 870.00 on truck tires last week...the 10.00 that you might offer her really isn't that much. When I trailer someone I expect them to pay half the gas. My gas tank takes 70.00-80.00 to fill up. They can give me 50.00 for the gas. IF I chose to use it for my gas that is my choice, or I can put it towards tires and other expenses.

                  I don't expect people to pay for my oil changes which are 140.00 every time.

                  It is even nicer if they buy me lunch. Especially if I am done showing for the day and wait around for them.

                  When I didn't have a trailer...I would pay the person 30+, clean out the trailer, fill the cooler and so on.
                  Kenny - Hanoverian Gelding
                  Sampson - Multi-breed Tri-Pawed Super Puppy
                  Tuggy - RIP at the bridge (9/12/2016)
                  Theodore the Boxer - RIP at the the bridge (10/5/2017)

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Bogie View Post
                    Honestly, $10 for an hour's trailering seems light to me. My truck only gets about 13 mpg when I'm towing and that's just gas.
                    Really? I don't like to tow more than 65 mph max, so in one hour you can go 65 miles. I get about 10 mpg while towing average, so that's 6 gallons of gas. At $3 a gallon, that's $18. Half of $18 is $9. So $10 for an hour round trip seems fair. I'd double it if it was an hour both ways.

                    And I'm also in the boat of - I would be putting the wear and tear on my truck anyway, so the extra gas money is just a bonus. So I wouldn't expect anyone to chip in to regular maintenance, like tires or oil changes.
                    If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
                    ~ Maya Angelou

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                    • #11
                      I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for maintenance and regular wear and tear, but as the one hitching a ride all the time I think you should be paying for more than what you calculate as 1/2 the fuel expense. Yeah, I know she'd be going there anyway, but you're benefiting from her generosity, so why can't you be generous in return? I have a friend who'd leave me $5 after I hauled her and her horse. Another friend gives $20 and buys lunch. Another friend gives $40 when I drive. It's a pain to always be the one who has to hitch up, pick up, clean up and pay up.

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                      • #12
                        It sounds to me like the driver in this arrangement is hinting around that she feels you should contribute something toward the maintenance of the truck and trailer you get the benefit of every week... for very little $$$.

                        She might not feel comfortable asking outright, I suppose. And certainly you aren't obligated to contribute to those expenses.

                        By the same token, she isn't obligated to let you share a ride, either. Just sayin'...

                        I bought a truck and trailer a couple of years ago. The initial outlay was around $50k. There are a few friends I'll gladly ship along with my own horse and there are one or two I'd lend my rig to if they wanted to go somewhere I wasn't planning on going. But for the most part - I don't ship other peoples' horses for them, and certainly wouldn't consider $10 or $20 "worth it" in terms of covering my expenses. I ship my friends as a favor, not to defray my costs.

                        There is a lot more to the cost than just gas, something you might realize as you are trying to save up for a rig of your own. The truck & trailer itself, insurance, stuff like ... I dunno... tires and brakes (!)... the list goes on.

                        If you can go where you want to go every week for $20 or less you have a heck of a deal and I would sure think long and hard about offering a more substantial contribution.
                        **********
                        We move pretty fast for some rabid garden snails.
                        -PaulaEdwina

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                        • #13
                          I regularly trailer friends horses with my own truck and trailer and also have a friend that hauls my horse since her 17h horse is most comfortable in her ex.wide/ex.tall trailer.
                          I have never expected someone to contribute to wear and tear expenses. My husband and I use our truck for other purposes besides trailering so we don't expect someone else to absorb the cost of truck tires OR brakes etc... I also wouldn't expect anyone to pay towards trailer maintenance costs. As someone else said, I would be using it regardless of hauling someone else with me.

                          If the trip was a total of one hour then I usually charge 10-15 and that's usually what I pay my friend. For 1.5-2.5 hour trips I pay/charge 20-30.

                          I guess you could offer to pay extra but I think it's a stretch to expect someone to help pay towards rig wear/tear.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Tif_Ann View Post
                            Really? I don't like to tow more than 65 mph max, so in one hour you can go 65 miles. I get about 10 mpg while towing average, so that's 6 gallons of gas. At $3 a gallon, that's $18. Half of $18 is $9. So $10 for an hour round trip seems fair. I'd double it if it was an hour both ways.
                            I guess that's why the best strategy is to talk to the person doing the towing. The end result should be that the tower doesn't feel that they are putting out more than their share and the person riding along doesn't feel gouged. In my case, a $10 donation isn't going to make or break my decision to go somewhere, but whether the person is generous in spirit, will determine how often I offer them the extra stall on my trailer. It doesn't have to be just cash, either. A cooler with cold drinks, offer to buy lunch, or just someone who makes my day easier by, say, cleaning the trailer out afterwards. Those things go a long way toward making it a net gain for me.

                            I don't ever expect someone to pay for my tires or brakes, but I do feel that when I'm always the one driving, I should feel like taking the person along isn't a burden. Yes, I was probably going wherever anyway but when you are always the one hitching your trailer, filling the hay bags, making sure that everything is set and ready to go . . . . it can get tiresome.
                            Equine Ink - My soapbox for equestrian writings & reviews.
                            EquestrianHow2 - Operating instructions for your horse.

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                            • Original Poster

                              #15
                              Update

                              Just to clarify: I do "pull my weight" when we trailer out: I clean out the trailer, put in my shavings, fill and load the water and have learned to hitch it up. We usually both bring lunch from home as there's nothing to eat on location but I have bought her coffee and water.
                              Also, these are all trips she would make without me anyway but it is a good deal for her as well, not just because of sharing cost for gas but also because her horse is a lot easier to handle with a companion than when she rides by herself...

                              In any case, here's the update: We emailed about it and she appreciated my offer to help pay for tires and brakes. But she doesn't need me to give her any more money at this point since I haven't been going with her for very long and she considers me very helpful around her horses and good company in general That was good to hear. She knows she will always be welcome to share rides once I have my own setup, especially since we'll continue to go to the same parks in the future and most likely will keep riding together.

                              So all is good and I will go get her a gift certificate.

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                              • #16
                                Absolutely agreed, Bogie. A person's help, hitching, cleaning, etc., goes a long ways towards whether I offer a ride to them.

                                And Lieselotte - great that you guys talked it out. It's always better to talk to the actual person. I was going to mention too - I'm the kind of person who "thinks out loud" a lot and for example - when I knew I needed new trailer tires I would notice it while driving - shimmy, whatever, and comment "man, I need to get new tires." or whatever. Doesn't mean I'm expecting or even wanting anyone to help me, it's more of a "it's on my mind, thinking out loud" thing.
                                If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
                                ~ Maya Angelou

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                                • #17
                                  I think by offering to help with the repairs and giving her a gift certificate, you will have gone a long way to keeping her willing to haul you around and ensure she does not feel taken advantage of even if she never says yes to any offers to pay more than gas (my advice is to keep offering).
                                  As for cleaning up after yourself? I think it is great that you do it, but that is expected regardless and if someone I haul does not do that or at least offer to, they are unlikely to get a second trip in my trailer. Serious pet peeve of mine.
                                  There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.(Churchill)

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                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by Lieselotte View Post
                                    She knows she will always be welcome to share rides once I have my own setup, especially since we'll continue to go to the same parks in the future and most likely will keep riding together.
                                    I was going to suggest this.

                                    Esp. since you have been getting a heck of a deal! WOW! If I could find someone to haul me for $10-20 a pop - my rig would be FOR SALE!!

                                    I do believe that every additional horse is extra wear & tear on the truck & trailer, but you can make up your mind after you are the rig owner and have been hauling others.

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                                    • #19
                                      That is nice you are going to get a gift certificate...
                                      Kenny - Hanoverian Gelding
                                      Sampson - Multi-breed Tri-Pawed Super Puppy
                                      Tuggy - RIP at the bridge (9/12/2016)
                                      Theodore the Boxer - RIP at the the bridge (10/5/2017)

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                                      • #20
                                        Whenever I haul a friend's horse, the friend generally covers the entire cost of gas for that one trip, and I consider that quite fair- still way cheaper for them for that one outing than maintaining the whole rig on an annual basis, and I'm getting my gas for free for that outing. I wouldn't dream of asking for a separate tire/ brake contribution, mostly because I drive my truck a whole hell of a lot more than just the few times I trailer a friend, and I also use the trailer by myself a lot more than I do with a friend.
                                        ~Living the life I imagined~

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