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Should I say something or mind my own business?

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  • Should I say something or mind my own business?

    I board my horse and really like the facility and my BO. The issue I am having at this time is that the stablehand there has taken to venting their frustrations about their job to me. Yesterday was really tough for that person and they again mentioned looking for a job with other barns/ trainers. I try to stay very neutral as they rant about how many hours they end up working a day, having extra responsibilities added, and their not having any time to themself. I respond with "you should be sitting down and having this conversation with the BO". The stablehand lives on the property and handles the day to day care of the horses while the BO is at her job.

    I am worried that the stablehand will just up and quit, leaving the barn in chaos until the BO can come up with a suitable replacement. I KNOW I should just mind my own business and really- I don't want to get involved. However, I kind of think that maybe I should say something to my BO to let them know that stablehand leaving is a distinct possibilty and that BO should start thinking about suitable replacements, rather than have all hell break loose like when the last stablehand didn't work out and there wasn't anyone readily available to take over. Of course my reasons are selfish, as I enjoy order and routine and knowing who is caring for my horse on a day to day basis, and knowing that the standard of care is consistant with what my horse and I have enjoyed up to this point at this facility.

    Anyhow, I am sure that you all have opinions that you would love to share and I am willing to listen. Any barn owners, please chime in with your thoughts and feelings about this. Would you want to be "tipped off" to your help possibly leaving by a boarder?

  • #2
    How long have you boarded there?

    My experience is that barn managers/stablehands often have high turnover - some barns more than others. Your BO is probably used to staff leaving on short notice. Unless you have been there long enough to know for sure that the BO will be blindsided, I would stay out of it.


    • #3
      I would say to griping employee just what you said here: "I hope if you leave you are not going to leave BO high and dry...if you aren't going to say something I will because I am paying for care etc. etc."

      That way if you do end up saying something it's not like you are getting in the middle. Since this person feels at liberty to unload on you, you should feel comfortable to speak at will.

      Maybe if this person spent more time working and less time burning you ear off about how hard the job is, they would be able to leave at a decent hour .

      I don't have a lot of patience for these folks, been around them a lot and now I have learned to smile and keep on with my routine. After all, I am paying good money to have a hobby - not listen to someone blab about their job...


      • Original Poster

        Gloriginger, that is exactly how I feel! I pay a lot of money to keep my horse there and the whole horse thing is supposed to be a way for ME to relieve stress about my job, life, etc.

        I agree about the comment regarding the amount of time wasted complaining to the clients who have no control over the situation. The person that did this job before started later than this one and finished earlier and cleaned the stalls better. Plus, the former person did other stuff that this one would flip out about if asked, like mowing the fields. I was just thinking today about how much time was being wasted just during the time I was present yesterday. If it was me doing the stalls, I wouldn't stop working when each boarder came in to talk with them, I'd keep my nose to the grindstone and just call out a pleasant hello, for politeness sake. I don't expect you to stop doing your job to "entertain" me as I am trying to make the best use of my limited time.

        I have boarded there since the barn opened a few years ago. There has not been much turnover as far as employees go, or even boarders for that matter. Its a nice place, at least for the boarders


        • #5
          Some folks have non-confrontational personalities, which means they vent it all on everyone except the person they really should be talking to. It is one way of secretly hoping someone else will open the can of worms for them, and then they get ticked off at that person if it explodes in their face. MYOB. This is not your responsibility to solve, nor is it your buredn to bear. Simply let the talker know that you like the way your BO has been doing business there for the past few years, that you are there to spend quality time with your horse, and are not going to get involved with the worker's problems and issues with the management. Then, stick to your sentiments, take care of your horse and MYOB.
          "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein



          • #6
            I wouldn't get involved. I also wouldn't allow the person to vent to me.

            I think you were right to tell him/her that s/he should really be having this conversation with the BO. Next time s/he starts in, I think you should cut him/her off and say "I'm sorry, but I just can't get involved in this situation. I'll be boarding here after you leave, if that's what you decide to do. So I just can't listen to any more of this."

            Jane Savoie has a great metaphor about someone coming into your home and dumping a great big trash can full of garbage onto the floor. She says that's what it's like when a person vents to you about situations you're not involved in. That really hit home for me. I've certainly stopped telling my DH about all my day's frustrations over the supper table and I've also stopped allowing other people to upend trash cans over my head.
            I'm not ignoring the rules. I'm interpreting the rules. Tamal, The Great British Baking Show


            • #7
              MYOB. And detach yourself from the person who is using you as a dumping ground.
              (BTW, you don't think you are the only one they are doing this to, do you??)


              • #8
                Originally posted by pAin't_Misbehavin' View Post
                Jane Savoie has a great metaphor about someone coming into your home and dumping a great big trash can full of garbage onto the floor. She says that's what it's like when a person vents to you about situations you're not involved in. That really hit home for me. I've certainly stopped telling my DH about all my day's frustrations over the supper table and I've also stopped allowing other people to upend trash cans over my head.
                My friends and I call that emmotionally throwing up- b/c it is exactly how I feel when someone does that to me!


                • #9
                  ever so politely but firmly inform the dumper/ranter that you do not wish to be involved with this.

                  As staff to vent to customers is VERY poor form.

                  (and no, that is what significant others and friends are for, but use in moderation and remember: it's a 2 way street!)


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Lady Counselor View Post
                    MYOB. And detach yourself from the person who is using you as a dumping ground.
                    (BTW, you don't think you are the only one they are doing this to, do you??)

                    I also would not even get involved with the rants. Go about your own business.

                    If worker finds out it was you who *ratted* her out, (possibly got her fired) you might find yourself or your horse in hot water with her.

                    Lots of people vent about their jobs, quitting, etc. but never actually do it.

                    I'd mind my own business....
                    MnToBe Twinkle Star: "Twinkie"

                    Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!