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Coming to a dressage court near you-White Trash Dressage (UPDATE-YOUR photos needed!)

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  • Oh no, this thread is wayyyy too much fun to have it sitting idle on page 2. So, I am giving it a shameless *BUMP*

    Tonight, I got lottts of practice with my swearing, while talking to my hubby on the phone Practicing for those bonus points already....gotta make it to the WTD Nationals this year.

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      *snuffle* I can see the citronella torch burning across the land from where I sit.

      FK-regarding the scoot-Jen22's Gem has become quite good at the scoot. In fact, the scoot is only complete if the rider is left laughing hysterically in the dirt on her knees after said horse scoots out from under the rider. This is a very advanced move, and extra points if the horse strands next to rider with a look of "What the hell are you doing down there, dumbass?"

      However, it sounds as if you have a solid start. And yes, the cantelope color is highly desirable.

      I am thrilled to hear that our organization has made it to California
      Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
      http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
      also available on Amazon.com
      http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Renn/aissance:
        How about an attempt at extension that actually involves something more like the octopus movement going at Corvette speed?

        And do we get extra credit for mismatched, loudly-colored polo bandages? Or, even better, for leaving our mismatched shipping bandages on?
        Renn/aissance... I think I just pee'd in my pants. That first one got me good. My co-workers are giving me very strange looks.

        What a great thread and I don't even do Dressage but I can only imagine.

        Comment


        • lsm1212..This is the PERFECT discipline for you!!!Been living the same saga as you and have become a WTD wannabee..Unfortunately, last year I joined the ranks of Old Ladies Propped on.....so of course Bubbles, The Perfect, couldn't WTD in his worst hallucinations....
          *************************
          Go, Baby, Go......
          Aefvue Farms Footing Inspector

          Comment


          • IE,

            You are right... after all the trouble I've had with Ivanna we would be perfect for this. She has most of the movements nailed down pat.

            My question is, does a "moonwalk" right out of the ring count for double or triple points?

            Comment


            • I found my competition saddle right here on COTH! Check out the lime green Billy cook saddle thread!!
              www.newstandardsporthorses.com

              Comment


              • No bonus...It's a required test movement...
                *************************
                Go, Baby, Go......
                Aefvue Farms Footing Inspector

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  The powers that be who remane nameless have decided that quad points will be given if a cocktail is carried in one hand and a cigareete in the other-for non smokers, you may substitute a cigarette for another cocktail.

                  Sadly, my citronella torch went out during the night. But that is ok because I know there are many of you holding your torches high as a symbol of our unity and dedication to our sport. I am out of citronella oil but dug thru my car and think some of these empty cigarette packs should flame up nicely.
                  Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
                  http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
                  also available on Amazon.com
                  http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

                  Comment


                  • Oh, goody... I get to smoke while I'm riding. Have always wanted to do that... since I am a smoker (oh, no).

                    Comment


                    • What about drinking 2 cocktails AND smoking?? Seeing as how I am often caught driving stickshift, while smoking and talking on the phone (not hands free), and sometimes even drinking a pepsi...I think I might be able to manage 2 cocktails AND a ciggy! Besides, we get extra points for falling off extremely ungracefully, so why not give it a shot??

                      Comment


                      • OOH..I'd actually pay for tickets to watch that!!!
                        *************************
                        Go, Baby, Go......
                        Aefvue Farms Footing Inspector

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          Very nice, Jumper21, very nice.

                          I spoke briefly with Jen22 today and she commended my idea of burning empty cigarette packs to replace the citronella oil.
                          Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
                          http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
                          also available on Amazon.com
                          http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

                          Comment

                          • Original Poster

                            Well, friends, the powers that be who have yet to be named have decided to continue the WTD season to be year round! This is a HUGE prop for our sport, which up until this point in time has been limited the spring and summer due to arguements that it is only right and proper to burn citronella torches during the sping and summer months. Which, of course, it is. To replace the citronella torch for the fall and winter months, our discipline will proudly display flares as our symbol of unity. (You know, the flares used when you are stranded in themiddle of no where in a blizzard?) Of course, the logistics of how to carry said flare without setting oneself on fire has yet to be figured out, but we will get to that later.

                            I am also proud to annouce that a few more moves have been introduced into the WTD rule book, which as you know, can be found in the bottom of a bird cage or litter box near you. If you need a copy, please request one from the powers that be who have yet to be named have decided but please be advised that it will take appx 6 months to compile the collection of post it notes and fast food restaurants that the rules are written on. The new moves are:

                            The sewing machine-a move that is extremely hard to sit-the horse will trot with very high knee action and refuse to move forward while hopping up and down in place.

                            The triple salchow-yes, this is a figure skating move but it has now found a home in the WTD world. This is when your horse refuses to move froward and spins very quickly across the arena. Bonus points if combined with the sewing machine.

                            The WWWTDF (World Wide White Trash Dressage Federation) is also pleased to announce that the year end awards will be held by region at a Marty's World of Cheese at a location in your area-please check your copy of WTD Today for details.

                            Due to the increase of fees to rent parking lots and soybean fields to hold our shows, the membership fee will go from one 12 pack of Schlitz beer to a case. 4 bottles of either Mad Dog 20/20 and Boone's Farm can be used as a substitute payment.

                            As there has been some confusdion over who the judge is, the following rule has been changed: the rule of the judge beiing determined by having a piece of paper taped to the bottom of a random spectators chair or bucket will stay in place, however, once it is determined who the judge is, the judge will wear a beer sippy hat with the words Grand Pooba across the front.

                            The powers that be who have yet to be named hope you continue to have a fabulous time with our newly born sport and as usual, if you have questions, we do not have the answers, so make up an answer that best suits your needs.
                            Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
                            http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
                            also available on Amazon.com
                            http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

                            Comment


                            • YAAAAAY!!!!!
                              *************************
                              Go, Baby, Go......
                              Aefvue Farms Footing Inspector

                              Comment


                              • ROFLMAO!!!
                                (snort - note to self - do not attempt to read this thread at work).
                                http://www.eponashoe.com/
                                TQ(Trail Queen) \"Learn How to Ride or Move Over!!\" Clique

                                Comment


                                • I'm so excited!!! Bruster and I don't even do dresage, but we would be awsome at WTD! We've definitely got the squealing, bucking, and riverdancing part covered, and I am more then capeable of using the eff word creativly. I've taken the time to read through the whole thread, but I was wondering if I could wear my see through, 2 size too small wife beater tank? I think WTD would be just the place for it to make a debut, I'm quite positive by next season they will be a fashion staple. I'll slap a 'you might be a redneck if...' bumper sticker on Bruster's butt and we'll be ready to go!
                                  *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

                                  ~ owned & loved by my OTTB Bruster ~

                                  \"You are a great champion. When you ran the ground shook, the sky opened, and mere mortals parted the way to victory\" ~ Dreamer

                                  Comment


                                  • I'm so glad the season has been extended! My pony & I have been working all summer trying to get ready for a WTD show, maybe I'll make it to one in November.

                                    I've done my part by gaining 13lbs, so my breeches are perfectly stretched and I have gained the requisite belly roll hanging over the top. I shrunk a few of my oldest, see-throughest, t-shirts so you can see the belly roll better. Also, I make sure to pull my undies up real high so you can see them over the top of my low-rise pants. Sometimes I can even get my side-belly-roll to stick out of the side of my undies!

                                    The pony has been working real hard, too. He's rubbed off most of the middle of his mane, so it is two inches high in the middle and sticks straight up. Like a reverse horsie mullet.

                                    Although he has turned brown again, instead of orange, he'll go right back to orange when I clip him next week.

                                    He's improved his spooking by adding "sunshine that wasn't on the ground a second ago" to things that require a spook. He can now jump 8 meters sideways without breaking a sweat.

                                    Although he stands quietly for me to mount, I think we can make up the point loss since he is missing one of his very front teeth, and is starting to respond to the name "Cletus".

                                    Cletus just has such a much nicer ring to it when combined with you effing --------- than his real name, wonderschungerwarmblooder, don't you think?

                                    If I get mis-matched animal print polo wraps, do y'all think I could ride in training level WTD? Cletus stranters like a champ!
                                    The artist's coming into being is delivered as an aesthetic experience. -J. Ransome

                                    Comment


                                    • You guys are so low class. Imagine, taking your horse in the ring to win points for a dubious honor such as WTD.

                                      I am on the WTD Awards Committee and I just ordered ribbons for myself. All divisions, all to me.

                                      However, i commend you on allyour efforts to pursue the sport.
                                      www.specialhorses.org
                                      a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                                      Comment

                                      • Original Poster

                                        Dressage Geek....perhaps you do not remember that ALL WWWTDF ribbons are made of duct and electrical tape????????? Pay attention to the rules napkins, please.

                                        Also new and encouraged, is the muffin top...which is where tummy fat hangs over the edges of too tight breeches...it is ONLY a muffin top if it is exposed skin.

                                        Wife beaters only allowed if bra straps show.
                                        Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
                                        http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
                                        also available on Amazon.com
                                        http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

                                        Comment


                                        • This is so funny.

                                          Just who would be dumb enough to judge this ?

                                          Comment

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