Coming to a dressage court near you-White Trash Dressage (UPDATE-YOUR photos needed!)

[Equit8tor]

Back to the beer store........Or will you take an empty case?

[horse_poor]

Oh goodness, I should have specifie\d--empty case, as giving a full case would be considered bribery. ANd we cannot have such a thing tainting the organization that has yet to be officially named.

[Equit8tor]

Ah yes, save the full cases for the judges!! (Silly me).

[entropygal]

i forgot to ask if we can have a division for the "longest and most disgusting flapping tongue"???

if our guy ever goes out in public again, i'm painting "space for rent" on it. maybe some of the nice sponsers can use his tongue as a bill board.

here i was disparing 1) what to do w/ his tongue and 2) why wasn't he "white trash" enough for WTD.

so can we, PLEASE have a tongue division? maybe we could combine it w/ nasty face/ear pinning points but it has to be separate from hitting judges w/ wildly swishing tail.

[Bugaboo]

Originally posted by Dusty:
ChocolateDream....certified judges, no way. The judge will be picked by spectators checking under their chair to see if a piece a paper with "Judge" is taped to it. They are judge for the day

Sometimes, I swear that's how us Hunters are judged!

As for WTD, where do I sign up?!?!

[Irish Ei's]

Chestnuts the size of...beercans and ummm...noisy boyparts....

[Irish Ei's]

Crap...no WTD today in bottom of litterbox.....
Sign me up, I've been "restocking" my sweat glands since Oct....
PS...it wasn't my idea to Marine Buzz the drafty ears..please forgive clipped ears and muzzle....

[kb]

well, flshgordon and I looked around the barn this weekend and realized that our tack trunks might qualify for WTD. They are Stanley Mobile Tool Chests that we purchased at the local Lowe's for $44.99 - black and yellow plastic - with the stickers still on the side.

[horse_poor]

LOve the tack trunks--very WTD indeed.

Jen22 and I decided to add one more movement, and this falls into the garanimal category--fear of vegetation outside the ring, specifically rhubarb.

And I discovered Rosina has a lovely movement called I-do-not-want-to-go-where-you-want-me-to-go-so-I-shall-skitter-sideways-and-rear-at-the-same-time move. This will fall into a plethora of categories, including, but not limited to the kier, take your ring mate out, and the DDW.

[Irish Ei's]

OOOHHH..She got her some upper-level Pretzel Passage!!!!...not a shorts and half chaps level..thinking lycra tights..capri length with minimum of 6 inches bare skin showing over mismatched paddocks...white shoelaces score extra...

[afrikando]

....river dance lead changes... i'm snorting over here!!!

chai, excellent idea! also for those of us who ride the draft persuasion, may we use two whips? having one in each hands saves valuable time.

we need to have shirt/baseball caps/beer can coolies made immediately! i bet that cafe press can do it for us. who has the logo? shall we have a logo contest???

edited to ad: KB, i also have the stanley mobilte tool chest as my tack trunk already and--even better---the stickers are HALFWAY peeled off. god, finally a place for me!!!!1

[Equinetech]

ROTFLMAO!!

cant...hardly...type...

How do I sign up for this clique? How about the "smokin while ropin" movement in the test...Is there a movement wherein the rider drops the reins, grabs onto the horses neck, leans forward and screams? Do you get extra points if you make the judges ears ring?

[entropygal]

oh yes, and in addition to the longest and most disgusting tongue, do we get extra points if the horse actually knocks himself unconsious with it? or perhaps one of the spectators/sponsers/judges?

and when mounting from either the bed of youur truck or a picnic table or a munchkin bucket, do u get bonuses for jumping straight over the horse and landing in a heap on the other side?

or what about when the horse is so tired of octopus cantering that he decided to buck u off, discovers that you're still on, gives a final buck, dumps you in a puddle, and looks at you like you're crazy for sitting there on the ground in the middle of a test?

personally, i think we should extra points for the originally grey pinto coming in as a penta-pinto (grey, green, brown, yellow, and purple (left over from the feeble attempts at cleaning from days prior)...and absolutely no white visible, even if it existed pre-show)...

[horse_poor]

Sorry, kids, I was away nursing an abscess precariously close to my bum, which only enhances the WTD mystique.

First, we are NOT a clique. We are a group of athletes who are proud of our sport, as sad as it might be.

Concerning the mounting question: yes, that is indeed a division. It is called "Launch-the-rider." This can be done either as a one person event, such as from a picnic bench or piece of farm equipment, or a 2 person event. Your partner will give you a leg up and therefore launch you completely over the horse. Extra credit if your horse spooks and bolts.

The throwing hand around your mounts sneck and screaming covers a few movements. It can be considered freestyle only if you can scream in rythym with your mount's bucking. You will receive extra credit if your horse promptly leaves the ring when s/he realizes you are not holding the reins, and those points can be doubled if your horse jumps out of the ring, tripled if your horse jumps a spectator, quadrupled if your horse jumps the judge.

If your horse bucks and dumps you in a puddle and looks at you as if you were crazy, I am afraid that will not earn you any extra points. Now, if your horse bolted, you would be eligible for extra points. Each hour it took to catch your horse, your points would double. Your puddle sitting points can be enhanced, however, if you swear loudly and use the eff word a lot.

At the shows that span a few days, there will be a stall decoration contest. Of course the stanley tack trunks are a huge part of this, but we are also looking for other not so classy ways of toting your tack and equipment around, such as using an old purse for a brush bag, plastic grocery bags to house mismatched wraps, signs made of garbage bags with duct tape lettering, overturned buckets as lounge chairs, and half full beer cans scattered about.

The powers that be who remain un-named are pleased to say we have had a computer system donated for use in our shows. It is a 1993 model complete with Windows 3.5, a monitor as large as a console TV from 1978, and the tower is held together with duct tape and the mouse is missing the cover that holds the ball in, so a warning to those who will be using it: please do NOT pick the mouse up as the ball will roll away.

The offical WTD color has been chosen to be duct tape silver and all ribbons will be constructed out of duct tape and electrical tape. We are starting what we hope will be a new trend and the ribbon colors will in no way signify the placing in the class-it will only signify what colors of tape were on clearance at Wal-Mart and Menards. The ribbon design is unique in that to the untrained eye it appears to be a wadded up chink of tape, but we like to think of it as a rosette that will stay wherever you leave it, including, but not limited to your butt if ypu accidentally sit on it. So, please be kind to your fellow show participants and nicely point out they have a ribbon on their behind and do not laugh and point. However, there has been some discussion amongst the powers that be of starting the trend of using this method to proudly display your show accomplishments. The only concern is if the bearer sits down, many of the ribbons would stick to the bucket loungers.

[Emryss]

I think that sparkly spangles should be allowed on my horse's butt. Also, is it OK to show with the left ear shaved, but the right only halfway? Lastly, I only have an All-Purpose saddle and a Navaho pad and an off-brand Wintec-style girth. I imagine those would do?

[horse_poor]

Emryss--sparkliness was covered earlier, but I will repeat what was said: sparkles are allowed and encouraged. The gaudier the sparkle, the better.

Concerning the ear: are there any wisps left hanging out? More importantly, does it look tacky? WTD discourages any clipping of any sort-we might make exceptions on a case by case basis. Rule of thumb-if it looks tacky, it is acceptable.

There has been talk of having a class where the winner would be the horse with the longest tuft of hair.

Tack should not be coordinated and mismatching colors encouraged. Tack repaired with duct tape and baling twine is worth double credit.

[2DogsFarm]

Why, oh why did this thread taper off?
I just reread what I missed and typing while snorting is hard!
Jen22, Horse_poor - where are you?
Too busy competing on the WTD Summer Circuit?
I imagine tube-tops would be required formal attire? Worn with super-lowrise Cruel Girl jeans?

[Irish Ei's]

Part of the Reason
The Real reason

[Jumpers21]

I'm late to this, but I think I definitely qualify with my old mare. She's getting dropped off this week (sold and bought her back) and last time I rode her, the following happened....

Does this count?? While moving forward at a haunches in (without being asked) tranter, she decides that trantering is no longer for her, and proceeds to stop and back up throughout the arena in a zig zag pattern. The more you ask her to go forward, the faster she zigs backwards across the arena. When you finally pull out all the stops and smack her behind so hard that it sounds like a firecracker, she proceeds to rear and launch to the side like the drama queen she is. Then she takes off at the octopus gait until she calms down finally. Once she is put back into work, she spends her time running your leg into the arena fence regardless of how much pressure you put on to get her AWAY from said fence.

So I assume that my mare will be famous for her backwards arena walk and leg-smasher gaits??

Edited to add: I think she has also come up with another new gait, the stranter. It's when your horse's a** end is so far in to the center arena while trantering, that she's basically sideways. Sideways+Tranter=Stranter!

[horse_poor]

Oh, how my heart is singing upon the discovery that others are trying to carry on the WTD tradition *wipes tear from corner of eye*

Sadly, many things have happened that have forced me to ignore my duties as a co-founder of WTD. I can only beg forgiveness from you.

It is with great sadness that I announce that Jen22 and I have parted ways and are no longer at the same barn. While I sobbed upon leaving, full of grief at knowing I will never get to see the National Tranter Champion school again, I tried to hold onto hope that perhaps my move will introduce others into the great sport of WTD. It is not fair to limit such a sport to one barn in the MN area, and perhaps the craze will catch on. As Jen22 and I walked about the new barn, I said "I bet not one horse here knows how to tranter." She agreed.

Now, I do have some exciting news. As Irish Ei's pointed out, I have been somewhat distracted with other issues. But, as heart breaking as it seems, thru tragedy comes life. I have discovered a few more categories to add to the great sport of WTD.

We all discussed the Drunken Dressage Walk. Imagine my surprise and delight to discover that not only can the DDW be performed under saddle, but in hand as well! Extra points given if the horse knocks the handler down while executing the move. I had dabbled with the thought of starting a divion in the Olympics of handwalking the stall bound horse, but damnit, why should the Olympics have all the glory? I say we add it to the sport of WTD! Much like the Olympics, we will have a torch. But not just any torch. We will proudly display a citronella torch as a symbol of our dedication.

Also, another category is a must have-that would be the which horse has the least amount of teeth, inspired by Rosina. This will be judged in hand, and upon examining the horse's mouth, the judge will ask how it came to be the horse has so little teeth. The best story wins. This category will fondly be refered to as the Rothina Smile category.

Shortly before my tearful departure to the new barn, I observed Jen22 and Gem schooling. To relive the last WTD show, I WHOOPED and screamed "Judge, that's MY student-hold the gate for 45 more minutes please." I think I saw Jen22 wipe a tear from her eye.

At the same time of this tender moment, I observed a rider working a horse and performing a move that I do not believe has been mentioned before. It is quite tricky, yet all of us have experienced it. It is when the horse pushes you into the wall and the sound your stirrup/boot makes while dragging the along said wall sounds like a freight train. In order to judge this, the powers who have yet not been named have decided the wimmer will have the bloodiest knee.

I bef your forgiveness as I have dripped the proverbial ball in the organization of this fine sport. However, it is apparent that this sport will never die, because of people like you keeping the cirtonella torch lit.