OMG...My students (I'm a teacher) want to know why I keep laughing out loud while they are taking their test
This is just too damn funny, although I love the idea of using a stirrup leather for a belt!!! I can't believe I haven't thought of that before.
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(Revised 2/8/18)
Board Rules
1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.
This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.
Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.
Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.
2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.
3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.
4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.
Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.
Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.
Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:
Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.
Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.
Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.
Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.
Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.
Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.
Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.
5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.
6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.
If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.
Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.
7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.
8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.
Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.
Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!
(Revised 2/8/18)
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Coming to a dressage court near you-White Trash Dressage (UPDATE-YOUR photos needed!)
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I'm afraid my just-turned-5 y.o. may no longer qualify.
However, last year I think I could have had triple points for the on-the-spot spin-spin-spin-lose-balance-fall over (the commentators can start calling this the "Howie").
Minor deduction for lack of speed of the maneover and the the fact that the rider stepped off with no leg-crush.
Additional bonus for the spectator's loud cry of "what about your saddle?" instead of "is the horse ok?" Bonus points for the fact that the horse didn't feel like getting up (lazy) and had to be "encouraged" with strong language.Blugal
You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng
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Any use of Show Sheen is discouraged, unless you choose to use it on the saddle area to display the rider's greater ability to achieve balance. Hay, shavings, and other debris in those carefully grown out whiskers are encouraged.Originally posted by Bestsis:
Horsepoor,
Thank you for the clarification
now I must also ask:
1)if the burr forelock is worn, should I also leave the Rasta burr-tail ?
2) should the goat whiskers be Show-sheened? Or should I just leave them adorned with pieces of hay, shavings, etc?Member: "Collector of Quirky Equines", "Incredible Invisibles", "Proud to be a Mushroom Head", and "Addicted to Howrse" cliques.
COTHers & Friends on Howrse
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TBsRgr8 is right on the money.
And about the stirrup leather belt-not only have I done it, but my children have done it as well. It is a time honored tradition that needs to be handed off to others.
Cockle burr tails are also acceptable, but only if they have frizzies and wispies from the attempts to untangle them.
The use of Show sheen really should not be used, however, lest it actually make something shiny. The governing body, whatever we might call ourselves, will make a show sheen ruling in the short future-some feel that using show sheen under the saddle gives the rider an unfair edge into showing off their balancing talent.Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
also available on Amazon.com
http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage
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Horse_poor
Thanks again for enlightening me re: use of Show Sheen (that anything WTD might be shiny...whatever was I thinking?)
May I suggest a name for your Governing Body?
How about: "The Big 'Uns" ?*friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
Steppin' Out 1988-2004
Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015
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Bestis-I spose you have not heard about the latest war amongst WTDers over what the powers that be, aka the governing body, are calling themselves. SHould it be WTDANA? Or USWTDA, formerly the USWTDA? I believe there isa member poll in the latest issue of WTD Today, on news stands and in trailer courts near you.
And Jerry Springer also just agreed to be one of our sponsors. Hurrah!Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
also available on Amazon.com
http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage
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Okay, HorsePoor, I need to run a few moves by you. I am not dressage, did it a couple of times during the winter because the ground was frozen.
While these things did not amuse the actual dressage people perhaps my higher calling was in WTD...
We jumped (to his credit, for the 7 years I've had him, he's been an A show hunter) out of the arena.
We also had a lovely trot down the center line involving him yawing his mouth all the way open so as to display to the judge that quite clearly, I was ripping his mouth off. This was simoultaneous as the huge loop in the reins so as NOT to get this facial reaction.
So are there extra points for the horse telling the judge that I'm killing him, at the same time that the judge is taking off points for no contact??
1-800\"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.\"
\"Betwixt the stirrup and the ground, mercy I asked and mercy I found.\"
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Actually, 1-800, my dear-you have under estimated your horse-he is clearly very wise to WTD, and in fact was performing the dental dance, in which he shows the judge how many teeth he has and how gorgeous they are. Triple credits for this.
You see, the secret to WTD is to totally NOT communicate with your horse, so you assuming he was telling the judge that you were killing him was nicely done.Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
also available on Amazon.com
http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage
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Horse_poor
Well, I carefully read all the ads in The Star AND The Enquirer and did not see WTD mentioned anywhere...surely an oversight
Is there a website? Rednecks.R.Us.com?
Re: Jerry Springer
I worked at a to-remain-nameless 4-Star hotel that had the bad taste(redundant?) to sign a contract to host Springer guests.
You would just not believe these people - true candidates for WTD if they had possessed any acquaintance with horseflesh at all.
In the assigned rooms mini-bars were emptied, phones turned off, pay-movies disabled and STILL they managed to run up hundreds of dollars in bills for Springer's minions to pay!*friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
Steppin' Out 1988-2004
Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015
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Has anyone approached Jeff Foxworthy about being the announcer for this year's WTD finals?
For the judges, the judge raises a green flag in response to the rider's salute at the beginning of their test and a checkered flag in response to the final salute.Member: "Collector of Quirky Equines", "Incredible Invisibles", "Proud to be a Mushroom Head", and "Addicted to Howrse" cliques.
COTHers & Friends on Howrse
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Actually, the flag of choice is to be one of those orangish pink TALL ones we used to put on our bikes-this way, the signal can be seen from very far away in the event the competitor will be geeting a runing start into the ring-most people would confuse such a movement as "bolting" but we like to think of it as "running start"
Larry the cable guy will be announcing for us.
And Bestis-I am sure you were not looking in the right place, like at the bottom of bird cages and puppy kennels.Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
also available on Amazon.com
http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by horse_poor:
Larry the cable guy will be announcing for us.
QUOTE]
Our male attendance surely will skyrocket!
Larry will be announcing that the USWTDA is truly superior to any other dressage association because...
we know what the letter stand for!
They are our sponsors.
H - Hamm's Beer
E - Eve Cigarettes
K - King Cobra Malt Liquor
A - Anheuser Busch
M - Miller Lite
B - Bud Light
F - Falstaff
C - Coors
Git 'er done!!!Barbara www.customstockties.com
Tulsa-QH; Schnickelfritz-Holsteiner; Atikus-Danish Warmblood; Buddy-QH/TB; Winston-Shire; Thomas-Percheron/TB; Mac-Belgian Draft, gone but never forgotten
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course if you absoultly must do mane and tail the tail should be nearly hairless because it has been rubbed out and at the bottom of the bone a puff ball like one sees on a clipped poodle. Im sure with enough hair spray one can easly acheive this.
If you can not do the whole poodle do with the mane you should take what little mane is left and braid with hot pink yarn and be sure to have pom poms the size of a cheerleaders on each and every one.Friend of bar .ka
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Actually, Sonesta, Arrogant Bastard is a very tasty -- if somewhat pricey - brew. But the bottle is a conversation-starter in any home bar!
And I gave my brother one of Bear Whiz's 'Aged' tees -- he just turned 60. :lolThe inherent vice of Capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of Socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
Winston Churchill
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Now folks, please remember-the powers that be have yet to agree on an official name, so calling ourselves USWTDA isa bit premature.
And I think Bud and Miller are a tad bit too high class for us.
Tonight we practiced our garanimal evasion move in addition to some kiers AND the drunk dressage walk (DDW). I was hoping to watch Jen22 school her fabulous mare in some tranter moves, but alas, I did not get to see it.
We have decided to have a Trant-Off at our next show, so make sure you sharpen those tranter skills.
Also, tonight Jen22 discovered the official mounting block of WTD-she dragged a picnic bench from the barn as she led her mighty mare out and promptly hopped on the bench and hopped on her. (This was after she considered using the trailer hitch of her Jeep) Sadly the WTD Today photographer missed the photo opp of the year. So, from this experience, yet another rule was born: the acceptable way to mount your horse in WTD is either from a picnic bench or bed of a truck. This has been added to the Dominos box o' rules.
If you should have a horse that you struggle to control, we also suggest obtaining a bicycle horn and attaching it to the crown piece of the bridle so that you may warn people of your impending crash. At this time these will only be allowed during schooling as using them in the ring will give riders an advantage in the coming-as-close-to-the-other-rider-without-taking-them-out movement. Perhaps in the future there might be a class similar to the real dressage class referred to as "Freestyle," in which competitors will combine their movements with the honking of their horns.
The powers that be also suggest watching multiple reruns of "The Dukes of Hazard" for WTD fashion suggestions and panache for your movements.Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
also available on Amazon.com
http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage
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Okay, two moves that I have participated in that I think may be worthy of credit but are not in the actual show ring, so we may need extra judges walking around to look out for these sorts of things.
The first: the fall-into-the-bed-while-mouting, also called the "Snuffy" involves being dressed in show clothes, standing on the back bumper of the truck and being knocked over the tailgate by the horse and onto your back into the bed... It's a class A move...
The second: the port-o-potty move (may be called as such) involves seeing a horse next to a port-o-potty staring at teh port-o-potty and his reins being through the door making quite clear that someone desperately needed relieving and could find no one to hold said horse. It is a guarantee that this person is praying while peeing inside... should be worth a little extra credit because the comical results could be great should the horse suddenly see a garanimal...
1-800\"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.\"
\"Betwixt the stirrup and the ground, mercy I asked and mercy I found.\"
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Ahhh... the joys of WTD. I did have a thought. I think that instead of using those lovely white chains to quarden off the court that maybe the governing body should allow the use of beer cans from our sponsors to be strung on fishing line. In addition to that the arena should then be surrounded by picnic benches. It makes a lovely mounting block but it also creates something similar to a "pit area". It would also be a wonderful seating system for our adoring fans. Their necks may get stiff from carrying around those beer helmets adn they may need to sit down to refill.
Then during the tranter championship everyone could stand on the benches and cheer loudly for the national tranter champion, my mare, the snot.
We also could have a costume freestyle where competitors will be asked to dress as either their favorite Nascar driver or their favorite Dukes of Hazzard character. We also would need to choreograph to the music of Lynyrd Skynyrd or the Allman Brothers Band.
I think we can win our next trant-off to Sweet Home Alabama.Proud owner of an Econo Nag...
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