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Coming to a dressage court near you-White Trash Dressage (UPDATE-YOUR photos needed!)

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  • #41
    Of course there would have to be a double co-efficient for the highest spook performed during piaffe as a result of beer cans popping.
    Where's the glamour? You promised me glamour!

    Comment


    • #42
      What about the horse that does the above mentioned movements and then suddenly decides that if he is *lame*, he will get sympathy?

      My OTTB seems to have the *lame* movements down to a fine science. Funniest is when he forgets....he takes a dozen good octopus strides and one *lame* stride.

      Also...he has the "I'm just a dumb horse" act down pretty good too. He can't remember from one school to another, anything he *didn't* learn bofore.

      Elizabeth
      Member of the OTTB Clique, Re-Riders Clique and the Thread Killer Clique.

      http://community.webshots.com/user/esimison

      Comment


      • #43
        and I suggest that chucking your helmet at your beloved spouse to get him to "go away so horsie will pay attention to ME!" be added as a required move.
        Helmet? You shouldn't be wearing a helmet! In this case one should pull the cigarette pack that is stuck inside the waist band of the pants, and chuck those at the distraction.

        Comment


        • #44
          spitting coffee all over screen at work, co-workes looking at me funny. My last horse so qualified for this.

          Comment


          • #45
            After reading this thread yesterday, I was highly motivated when I went out to ride - because really I think I could excel at this discipline. Last night I think we were Olympic caliber in WTD.

            The very FILTHY (even though he was bathed the day before) gray horse was wearing a lovely black saddle, with a brown bridle and tan reins. I was appropriately dressed in green breeches, a white shirt with a horse slobber stain on it and a beige bandana tied around my head to keep the sweat out of my eyes because it is two thousand degrees here. And really, the only movement he had last night was to run to the nearest shady spot and abruptly halt in aforementioned shady spot. Clearly it was far too hot for him to work - so I had to kick/spur with every, single stride. That makes for such subtle use of the leg aids...

            When we were done, we were both covered in sweat and grime. Such a lovely, polished look!

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #46
              But KB, did you horse break a halter and go on a unaccompanied and unauthorized farm tour while being hosed down?

              About interfering spectators: yelling obscenities is encouraged-throwing things at them, such as cigarettes, lit or not, lighters, beer or soda cans, etc. is as well.

              Timed events sound promising-
              Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
              http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
              also available on Amazon.com
              http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

              Comment


              • #47
                What about the audience and a WTD show? Do they wear the beer hats and wave those foam fingers?
                No my horse hasn't been restarted yet, BUT my prediction....he will be AWESOME at WTD I can't wait
                www.rideforthecurema.org Thanks to all who rode, we raised $110,000!!!
                If you are interested in a ride in your state, check out our website!

                www.realestatebyrebecca.com

                Comment


                • #48
                  Originally posted by horse_poor:
                  But KB, did you horse break a halter and go on a unaccompanied and unauthorized farm tour while being hosed down?
                  That would have required an expenditure of energy which was not going to happen....and the largest fan you have ever seen was parked in front of the wash rack...so he stood there with his face in the fan.

                  He did stand in the wash rack and scream for treats though.....

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    Helmet? You shouldn't be wearing a helmet!
                    I know that I sure as heck won't be wearing a helmet because it would flatten my very big hair. (Unless my aquanet-hair itself qualifies as a helmet.)

                    I used my Bedazzler to make my own rhinestone-studded browband, noseband, and reins. I did the cantle of my saddle, too.

                    I've been having trouble with my crot/tranter transitions. I think maybe I haven't been rushing into them fast enough. Are hot pink dressage whips legal in WTD? (And yes, I bedazzled the cap of that, too.)

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #50
                      Barn Fairy, I HIGHLY suggest you come to MN and spend some time with Jen22 and her mare-they are the NATIONAL tranter champs.

                      Hot pink is allowed and encouraged and can also be used to strike offending spectators.

                      Speaking of spectators, foam fingers , beer hats, and the such are sold on site and definitely allowed.

                      My personal hairsytle of choice is the onion, where all bangs and sides are pulled up on top of the head and fastened with either a scrunchie or chip clip.
                      Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
                      http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
                      also available on Amazon.com
                      http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        What are the rules for horse turnout in WTD? I'm now familiar with the rider rules (hot pink whip/boots and the helmet-head hair requirement), but would my mare get extra points for GENERATING MUD WHILE WORKING? She was so dusty prior to the ride and it was so hot and humid during the ride, that she was creating mud all over herself (and the reins. don't even ask what the underside of the saddle pad looked like later).

                        What were those stupid little tchotchkes that started out as "clay" figurines and if you watered them, they would turn into little grassy squirrels or whatever? I wonder if I had dropped seed on her, instead of showering her afterwards, would I have a moving pasture?

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster

                          #52
                          Ah, you are refering to the WTD chia pet--very acceptable and encouraged.

                          White socks must be gray, the longer the whiskers the better, flip flopping manes are encouraged, and tufts of unshedded hair are smiled upon.
                          Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
                          http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
                          also available on Amazon.com
                          http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            i'm all over this! here's my qualification for WTD membership: twice this weekend at a clinic, auditors fled in terror when my mare and i did some of our signature moves too close for comfort! i mean FLED... like jumped straight back out of their chairs.. hee hee. take THAT, you wussy auditors!!!!

                            Comment

                            • Original Poster

                              #54
                              Afrikando--way to promote the sport! *APPLAUSE*
                              Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
                              http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
                              also available on Amazon.com
                              http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

                              Comment


                              • #55


                                This is too funny! I'm not sure my horse could qualify (though he is far from quality dressage my trainer insists on making him go correctly, so I at least know he has it in him ), but I was thinking about another horse at my barn and I wondered...should we also have a manners class (for the horses, not riders)? Similar to in hand class, but you don't have to do anything in the ring, you just have to be able to get the horse ready without being trampled, bitten, kicked, or covered with dirt (transfered from your horse). I used to take for granted the ease of tacking compared to actually riding horses, but this one makes me think differently!
                                Proud owner of Race for the Stars (aka Spirit), OTTB!

                                "You can lead a horse to water, but if you can teach him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something."

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  What points do we get for spinning around movements,facing the rear end of the horse toward the judge, raising the tail as high as horsey possible and not so discretely pooping? . Are their extra points if this can be done more than once in a WTD test?

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    Originally posted by Just My Style:
                                    I love the idea of White Trash Dressage. After all, I am the person trying to establish "Plow Horse Over Fences" classs at the H/J shows.
                                    What type of draft do you have? I have a Belgian that used to jump with his former owner. We were going to start teaching me this summer, but he got hurt badly in January.

                                    Another WTD move would be the Jet-Enhanced Trot. If tooting with every step of the trot can be synchronized, how many points would that be? Extra credit added for the "gelding sheath squeeky noise?"
                                    Barbara www.customstockties.com
                                    Tulsa-QH; Schnickelfritz-Holsteiner; Atikus-Danish Warmblood; Buddy-QH/TB; Winston-Shire; Thomas-Percheron/TB; Mac-Belgian Draft, gone but never forgotten

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      RT66Kix...wow, you have a one horse marching band! *Please* tell me you have video with audio of this?
                                      An old friend of mine had a jumper supreme...this gelding coudl rocket over just about anything...and he actually did. He'd let out an enormously loud fart with each effort...you could even hear the announcer giggling.
                                      You jump in the saddle,
                                      Hold onto the bridle!
                                      Jump in the line!
                                      ...Belefonte

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        [quote]Originally posted by Barnfairy:
                                        Are hot pink dressage whips legal in WTD? (And yes, I bedazzled the cap of that, too.)
                                        My dear, you really should take a peek at any good catalog dedicated to barrel racers. One can get neon pink and lime green NYLON breastcollars, spur straps, tiedowns, reins, headstall, girths, saddle pads, curb straps, etc.

                                        I think that Western tack assessories on a dressage saddle should get extra points for turnout, dontcha think?!?!?!

                                        And instead of a helmet, you need a trucker's cap with hoop earrings ala Gretchen Wilson.

                                        As far as crowd interaction, there is always the fun of "Horse Spooking at Skoal Quid at H."

                                        Now THAT'S classy!
                                        Barbara www.customstockties.com
                                        Tulsa-QH; Schnickelfritz-Holsteiner; Atikus-Danish Warmblood; Buddy-QH/TB; Winston-Shire; Thomas-Percheron/TB; Mac-Belgian Draft, gone but never forgotten

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          Originally posted by MistyBlue:
                                          RT66Kix...wow, you have a one horse marching band! *Please* tell me you have video with audio of this?
                                          No, darn it, no video. Mac acutally did this in a big parade on the 4th of July, as we were catching up with the float in front of us. The crowd was snickering big time.

                                          At the Kentucky Derby Parade in Louisville, the minute he got on the street he parked out and peed. Little boy's jaws dropped in awe. Keep in mind that I was riding sidesaddle, all dressed up like Sleeping Beauty in pink satin and roses. Class act for sure!
                                          Barbara www.customstockties.com
                                          Tulsa-QH; Schnickelfritz-Holsteiner; Atikus-Danish Warmblood; Buddy-QH/TB; Winston-Shire; Thomas-Percheron/TB; Mac-Belgian Draft, gone but never forgotten

                                          Comment

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