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Celebrity Death Match - ROUND 4, p8 - GANDALF VS PET PSYCHIC

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  • #41
    Originally posted by TB or not TB? View Post
    (*in my best Shatner imitation*) Oh man........ that........ would be....... amazing.

    D'you think he really counts as a horse trainer though?
    Come on...we all know Shatner invented natural horsemanship, method acting, the James T. Kirk fighting/lovemaking technique, and the Captain's Log. The man is ten times the God that GM is!
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!

    Comment


    • #42


      TB or not TB-

      Please! We want some more! Encore! Encore!
      http://www.MyVirtualEventingCoach.com

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        #43
        Originally posted by LexInVA View Post
        Come on...we all know Shatner invented natural horsemanship, method acting, the James T. Kirk fighting/lovemaking technique, and the Captain's Log. The man is ten times the God that GM is!
        Oh yes, he's a real Man among men, baby. I think he also invented pants and the internet. Meow.

        Plus he shows like hackney horses or something, doesn't he? It's horse related, really!

        Okay RR, we will have a round of Shatner versus GM.... but first, it's

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~




        JOHN LYONS VERSUS MONTY ROBERTS!!!!

        John straps on his SMB combo boots and enters the ring. Careful not to get too dependent on those suckers, could weaken your tendons.... And Monty whips out his dually halter. Looks like they've both come equipped...for BLOOD!

        A surprising attack from MR! He's the quicker draw here folks, and Lyons was right where he wanted him. Now he's chasing him around the ring - look at 'em go! Lyons is running like a mustang on the plains, and Roberts is showing no signs of giving up.

        Around and around they go - they must be getting exhausted. Wait, is Roberts stopping for an energy drink? Yep, guess so. And.... it's back to the chase!

        Lyons is faltering. Is this match going to be over before it begins? Look! JL has stopped. It seems like he'll confront Roberts after all.

        And their eyes meet - no, Monty looks away in a non-threatening manner, and takes a few steps backward. Is it me or did JL just seem to perk his ears forward? Yep, he's moving toward MR. Is that gum he's chewing or is he just content?

        Monty retreats more, and now JL seems hypnotized. He approaches - to his doom? And out comes the dually halter! Nicely placed by MR - he seems to have snagged Lyons by the ankle.

        Oh ho! But he wasn't counting on the anti-bacterial lining of the SMB! Lyons slides right out and escapes, and it looks like he's back on his game - now it's personal!

        Roberts leaps in to take... a BITE!? at Lyons... That's just plain rude! Apparently Lyons agrees because he's following the 3 second rule now, and beating Roberts to a pulp before he forgets why he's being punished!

        Wait, now Roberts jumped out of the ring and is clinging to the referee - he looks like he's pleading with him. Oh! He's saying that he was abused by JL as a child. That's below the belt, and it looks like the ref agrees. Back in he goes.

        Lyons may have just lost his temper with that, breaking his cardinal rule! Anyway, now he's forcing Roberts to back up repeatedly. Roberts tries to pull away.... Lyons makes him rein back again.

        He's got MR overbending and worried now. Will Roberts ever recover from this back-up training? Probably not, but he's still got some tricks up his sleeve. Yep, it's the return of the dually halter!

        And now he's got Lyons by the nose and he's pulling him towards... a horse trailer!? I don't think Lyons wants to get on that trailer, have you ever seen someone pull away so hard??

        But Roberts has his number, and since he's not going on the trailer, he's turned the tides and making LYONS back up. OH! It's like the same thing we just saw, but in reverse! They could do this all day folks. Lyons doesn't want to go on that trailer... yep, and there Roberts is making him back up.

        And he re-approaches... and backs him up... and again... and again... For the love of all that's holy Roberts, stop torturing him!!

        It looks like Lyons may be cracking - he's gotten one foot in that trailer now... and backing up again. Oh! and there's the other foot... HA!!

        Freed again by the SMB! Lyons makes a break for it, only to be tossed down on his arse by the dually halter. But this temporary diversion seems to have broken the spell Roberts had on him, because he's pulling out his final weapon...

        FAITH! That bright light is blinding Roberts, who is hissing and retreating into the trailer.

        OH! But with astonishing style, Roberts launches into a MONOLOGUE! Nothing can top this man's salesmanship! Now he's explaining to the crowd what he's doing, talking both as himself and as Lyons....

        And the light is receding. Lyons spirit is broken! He is fading and slowly crumpling to the ground...

        Roberts moves in to make the final join-up. Folks, you might look away. This isn't going to be pretty...

        BUT WAIT!! THERE'S LINDA PARELLI AND HER ATTACK TATATONGAS! Both men seem more than willing to join up with her!

        OUCH!!! And she TUTORS them with her carrot stick. The Parelli's win again!! I guess they are the ULTIMATE NATURAL HORSEMEN!

        Comment


        • #44
          TB or not TB, you have a gift!
          http://www.MyVirtualEventingCoach.com

          Comment


          • #45
            Originally posted by TB or not TB? View Post
            Roberts leaps in to take... a BITE!? at Lyons... That's just plain rude! Apparently Lyons agrees because he's following the 3 second rule now, and beating Roberts to a pulp before he forgets why he's being punished!
            OMG *wheeze, gasp, choke* I think I just died laughing.

            Comment


            • #46
              OMG, That was funny.
              Every man has a right to his opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts.
              Bernard M. Baruch

              Comment


              • #47
                Originally posted by TB or not TB? View Post

                Apparently Lyons agrees because he's following the 3 second rule now, and beating Roberts to a pulp before he forgets why he's being punished!
                I choked on a cherry tomato because of this. That'll teach me to eat and read these posts at the same time. Someone wack me on the back, please.

                Otherwise, great screenplay!

                Comment


                • #48
                  [quote=TB or not TB?;2643004]
                  Plus he shows like hackney horses or something, doesn't he?[quote]

                  Shatner shows saddlebreds, standardbreds and also QH Reiners. He is at the World Championships in Louisville right now for the saddlebreds and the standardbred roadsters.
                  Every man has a right to his opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts.
                  Bernard M. Baruch

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    Originally posted by TB or not TB? View Post
                    Plus he shows like hackney horses or something, doesn't he? It's horse related, really!

                    Okay RR, we will have a round of Shatner versus GM.... but first, it's ....
                    The aforementioned shaky-tails (aka American Saddlebreds) - here's some background.

                    http://www.williamshatner.com/Article83.phtml
                    Chronicles of the $700 Pony
                    The Further Adventures of the $700 Pony
                    www.blithetraveler.com <-- My Blog

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      As far as Wm. Shatner goes, anyone that can sit and ride one of those saddle seat saddles (esp. the ones that are patent leather) deserves to beat the pants off any western guru!!! There isn't anything at all to hang on with in those saddle seat saddles vs a western saddle that not only has the horn to hang on to, but all the leather that surrounds the rider!!

                      Oops, but I forget, most of the western gurus don't ride anyway! They just do groundwork and roundpen work....

                      I'd rather see Billy go up against John, or Monty or even Pat, assuming Pat can work WITHOUT Linda, cause we all know Linda's ATTACK TATATONGAS will certainly distract Bill (if you've watched Billy in Boston Legal).

                      I'm really waiting for this installment!

                      TB or not TB-you go gal........
                      Sue

                      I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people...I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        Originally posted by TB or not TB? View Post
                        FAITH! That bright light is blinding Roberts, who is hissing and retreating into the trailer.


                        Freaking hilarious!
                        I'm not one to say I toadaso. But I toadaso. - Ricky

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          Now to try to illustrate this....

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~




                          JOHN LYONS VERSUS MONTY ROBERTS!!!!

                          John straps on his SMB combo boots and enters the ring. Careful not to get too dependent on those suckers, could weaken your tendons.... And Monty whips out his dually halter. Looks like they've both come equipped...for BLOOD!

                          ____.________________n_
                          ______|/_______________u-|
                          _____|}|}____________.___/\

                          A surprising attack from MR! He's the quicker draw here folks, and Lyons was right where he wanted him. Now he's chasing him around the ring - look at 'em go! Lyons is running like a mustang on the plains, and Roberts is showing no signs of giving up.

                          ____________/-----()
                          ____________/____________________
                          ___________/>_______________/>__/>

                          Around and around they go - they must be getting exhausted. Wait, is Roberts stopping for an energy drink? Yep, guess so. And.... it's back to the chase!

                          _____>___________________
                          _____.|/__________________<(>
                          ___.__/\___________________/\

                          ______\/------()
                          __<,___/__________________
                          ______/>_____________/>__/>

                          Lyons is faltering. Is this match going to be over before it begins? Look! JL has stopped. It seems like he'll confront Roberts after all.

                          ______
                          ______|=_________
                          ______/\_______//__\\

                          And their eyes meet - no, Monty looks away in a non-threatening manner, and takes a few steps backward. Is it me or did JL just seem to perk his ears forward? Yep, he's moving toward MR. Is that gum he's chewing or is he just content?

                          _____________^
                          ________\="_________
                          ________<\______</__<\

                          Monty retreats more, and now JL seems hypnotized. He approaches - to his doom? And out comes the dually halter! Nicely placed by MR - he seems to have snagged Lyons by the ankle.

                          _____
                          ______\=\__
                          ______/\_\0-^___/

                          Oh ho! But he wasn't counting on the anti-bacterial lining of the SMB! Lyons slides right out and escapes, and it looks like he's back on his game - now it's personal!

                          ______________
                          _______|=\____._=|
                          _______/\__\(~)__/\___
                          _

                          Roberts leaps in to take... a BITE!? at Lyons... That's just plain rude! Apparently Lyons agrees because he's following the 3 second rule now, and beating Roberts to a pulp before he forgets why he's being punished!

                          ______>___/_
                          __________\___/=
                          _____________/\

                          ______________-/
                          __________/\^^___\\
                          Wait, now Roberts jumped out of the ring and is clinging to the referee - he looks like he's pleading with him. Oh! He's saying that he was abused by JL as a child. That's below the belt, and it looks like the ref agrees. Back in he goes.


                          __.__<______________\/
                          _______\-|-____________.__|
                          _______/./\_______________/\
                          Lyons may have just lost his temper with that, breaking his cardinal rule! Anyway, now he's forcing Roberts to back up repeatedly. Roberts tries to pull away.... Lyons makes him rein back again.

                          _______________________/
                          ______________._|-----------\
                          ______________._\>_______,,,\\

                          He's got MR overbending and worried now. Will Roberts ever recover from this back-up training? Probably not, but he's still got some tricks up his sleeve. Yep, it's the return of the dually halter!

                          And now he's got Lyons by the nose and he's pulling him towards... a horse trailer!? I don't think Lyons wants to get on that trailer, have you ever seen someone pull away so hard??
                          __________________________________________________
                          _______________________________.__._|_____________|
                          ______________-----------________|_____________|
                          _______________\=_________\/________|_____________|___o
                          _______________\\_________/>_______/_(O)_______(O)

                          But Roberts has his number, and since he's not going on the trailer, he's turned the tides and making LYONS back up. OH! It's like the same thing we just saw, but in reverse! They could do this all day folks. Lyons doesn't want to go on that trailer... yep, and there Roberts is making him back up.

                          _____________________________________________
                          __________________________________|__________|
                          ______________________--------_|__________|
                          ______________________/-/_______\-_|__________|___o
                          _____________________/\_________\\_/_(O)____(O)

                          And he re-approaches... and backs him up... and again... and again... For the love of all that's holy Roberts, stop torturing him!!

                          It looks like Lyons may be cracking - he's gotten one foot in that trailer now... and backing up again. Oh! and there's the other foot... HA!!

                          _____________________
                          ____________
                          ___________________._.|__________|
                          _________--------/.|__________|
                          _________/-/________\_|__________|___o
                          ________/>___________/_(O)___(O)


                          Freed again by the SMB! Lyons makes a break for it, only to be tossed down on his arse by the dually halter. But this temporary diversion seems to have broken the spell Roberts had on him, because he's pulling out his final weapon...

                          __________________
                          ___________------=|
                          __________/\/\____._/\




                          FAITH! That bright light is blinding Roberts, who is hissing and retreating into the trailer.
                          __________________________________________________
                          ____________________________________|_____________|
                          __________///_____________________X|_____________|
                          _______-+--_______________________\|_____________|___0
                          _______/\/\_\\________________________/(O)_______(O)


                          OH! But with astonishing style, Roberts launches into a MONOLOGUE! Nothing can top this man's salesmanship! Now he's explaining to the crowd what he's doing, talking both as himself and as Lyons....

                          And the light is receding. Lyons spirit is broken! He is fading and slowly crumpling to the ground...

                          _________________________/
                          ______________________i-|
                          ________(-+______________/\
                          ________X


                          Roberts moves in to make the final join-up. Folks, you might look away. This isn't going to be pretty...

                          BUT WAIT!! THERE'S LINDA PARELLI AND HER ATTACK TATATONGAS! Both men seem more than willing to join up with her!

                          _________________~___
                          __________/=_____<o|o>___=\
                          _________/\_____.__./\______<\__i

                          OUCH!!! And she TUTORS them with her carrot stick. The Parelli's win again!! I guess they are the ULTIMATE NATURAL HORSEMEN!

                          ___________~.
                          _________(X/-o|o-\X)
                          _________X___/\___X


                          ______\/\~/
                          _______|__o|o
                          _______/\__/\______X-X___X-X
                          ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                          ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                          ';;;;;;; clique
                          //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            Originally posted by Reynard Ridge View Post
                            George Morris vs William Shatner

                            (RR gets down on her knees and whispers, "Please, oh, please, oh, please, Tb or not, this would be so very, very freaking funny, particularly once we get h-l to do the Stick Horse version.").
                            I'd rather see George Morris vs. General Patton. If only to read "George, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!"

                            Comment

                            • Original Poster

                              #54
                              Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post
                              Now to try to illustrate this....

                              OMG H-L you ROCK!!!! I was laughing so hard I almost started drooling.

                              I mean... I'm very ladylike.

                              RR - I see now what you mean re: shaky tails - I thought you were just inebriated before. I wasn't gonna say anything... cus yanno.. that'd be rude.

                              Thank you COTHers for once again edumacating me in the ways of horse celebrities. This next match is so important I don't hardly know if I can pull it off!

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                Originally posted by dogchushu View Post
                                I'd rather see George Morris vs. General Patton. If only to read "George, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!"
                                And maybe hear Patton describe historic breakthroughs in training over the millenia, having George M ask how he knew in such detail then having Patton say he was there. He was always there (bugels sound in the distance).

                                Man, must be the heat. We got the WTF??? thread getting more wierd by the post. We got the recent SHB dust up providing pages of entertainment on TOBs and now we have this. Looks like a good weekend for a cold one and the ClOTH BB.

                                Posted from the only spot in Ohio that didn't get a dam drop of rain in the last 2 weeks.
                                When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                                The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  Highly entertaining. Encore, encore!!

                                  Could you expand this to natural barefoot hoof care people?

                                  Maybe KC La Pierre wielding his fake diploma-mill PhD and a Back Jack versus Hiltrud Strasser with a bloody hoof knife and plastic hoof protractor measuring thingy.

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    No. What we need is the worlds greatest level zero jumping Arabian stallion ridden by an Amateur Professional standing in front of a dead cactus.

                                    We need some alters too. Praising themselves and defending themselves from all attacks...with the same bad spelling/grammer as the original poster.

                                    Been to tame around here lately.
                                    When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                                    The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      For round 3, how about having the Parellis come to the Kentucky Horse Park and take on the MMSC Irwins in a Loser Leaves Town Match?

                                      Comment

                                      • Original Poster

                                        #59
                                        Heck I think we can expand it to all horse folk.... including you and me... DUN DUN DUN....

                                        TB or not TB? VS ..... SWEATY RIDING BRITCHES!!! Oh the horror!

                                        Comment

                                        • Original Poster

                                          #60
                                          Originally posted by findeight View Post
                                          No. What we need is the worlds greatest level zero jumping Arabian stallion ridden by an Amateur Professional standing in front of a dead cactus.
                                          You know, I was going to incorporate that, but I didn't want to play the "smack my ass with a dead cactus" card too soon...

                                          Who will they face? More importantly, will the mods eat me?

                                          Comment

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