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How to Tell a (well-meaning) Boarder to MTOB?

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  • #21
    SpottedAlter

    Why not have a very polite and respectful discussion with the BO? Outline what you've shared here, explain that you don't want to hurt the other boarder's feelings but at the same time, you also are not in need of the other boarder's interactions. Explain that the situation created is making you feel uncomfortable in a barn that you and your horses otherwise love.

    As the BO wants a no-drama facility, then she is the proper person to manage this situation.

    Approach her in a non-complaining manner but as a client with legitimate concerns - and I'm sure you'll have her full attention.
    Originally posted by SmartAlex

    Give it up. Many of us CoTHers are trapped at a computer all day with no way out, and we hunt in packs. So far it as all been in good fun. You should be thankful for that.

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    • #22
      Mare talk...

      Pin your ears back at her her.
      Snort, swish your tail, back into her.
      Give a nice little warning cow kick just side-swiping her.

      If she still doesn't get it,
      bare your teeth and snap at her, and
      give her a real kick.

      This usual works for horses.

      you may scare the crap out
      of her and she may be afraid to approach you again.
      This tends to work for alpha mares.

      Try it and let us know.
      "They'll be no butter in hell."

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      • #23
        Baaaahahahhahaha....loveit!!!!!! Squeal a little too.

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        • #24
          Originally posted by oldenmare View Post
          SpottedAlter

          Why not have a very polite and respectful discussion with the BO? Outline what you've shared here, explain that you don't want to hurt the other boarder's feelings but at the same time, you also are not in need of the other boarder's interactions. Explain that the situation created is making you feel uncomfortable in a barn that you and your horses otherwise love.

          As the BO wants a no-drama facility, then she is the proper person to manage this situation.

          Approach her in a non-complaining manner but as a client with legitimate concerns - and I'm sure you'll have her full attention.
          I agree.

          Let the BO know other boarder is once again giving out unwanted advice. The BO can handle it. BO can't resolve the issue if they aren't aware it's happening
          "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

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          • #25
            BusyBodyBoarder, I do appreciate your interest in Molly Mare. But Molly is my horse and they are my decisions to make, right, wrong, or indifferent, regarding her care. I believe that you mean well, but telling me how to treat my horse's cut and what type of saddle I should buy is not appreciated. If I could ask you to look at this from my point of view and see that perhaps you are getting into my yard, a little too often, and it's straining our friendship. I do like you, and appreciate that we can learn from each other, but I'd really like a little breathing room. Please. Thanks.

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            • #26
              I had a boarder who was getting bad about this and one of my other boarders came up with a plan.

              Every time she butted into Boarder A's care of her horse, Boarder A would say," Oh thanks so much for that advice, could you help me with _________." Then she would put Boarder B (instrusive advice giver) to work wrapping, grooming, holding for her, asking her to turn one out, put on halter, take off blanket, etc. After a while Boarder B avoided her like the plague.

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              • #27
                Originally posted by redhorse5 View Post
                Every time she butted into Boarder A's care of her horse, Boarder A would say," Oh thanks so much for that advice, could you help me with _________." Then she would put Boarder B (instrusive advice giver) to work wrapping, grooming, holding for her, asking her to turn one out, put on halter, take off blanket, etc. After a while Boarder B avoided her like the plague.
                Brilliant!!

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                • #28
                  Originally posted by spurgirl View Post
                  I guess it must be my Yankee directness, but I disagree that this person should continuously thanked for her 'helpful hints'. I would directly look at fellow boarder and say firmly, "You know Fellow Boarder, I realize you think you are being helpful, but I have this situation with my horse under control. When I want your advice, I'll ask for it." This should be conveyed in a no nonsense tone-not hostile, but with a direct stare. Then turn on your heel, and go back to what you are doing. That's about the response these types need to get the point-and leave you in peace!!
                  This.

                  I simply cannot understand why there is so much concern about hurting PITA boarder's feelings. She's a pest; the BO's told her she's a pest and to quit it, so she knows she's being a pest. Guess she just enjoys being a pest. Make it unenjoyable for her. That passive-aggressive bull$h!t just makes me nuts.

                  Oh, and do tell the BO. I have a feeling that if you do both, you won't have an issue again. Your BO sounds like my kind of people.
                  In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
                  A life lived by example, done too soon.
                  www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/

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                  • #29
                    Yes my BO is great! The barn was new and mostly empty when I moved in.. Now it is full with very little turnover. She is really easy to talk to so I definitely will mention it. She just got back from vacation so I will hopefully see her tomorrow night.

                    I don't know why I am so afraid to bring things up with the know it all boarder. She is about the same age as my mom.. So when she talks to me I feel all meek. Clearly this isn't just about her, but about me needing to stand up to her.

                    I will let you know how things go once I talk to the BO and possibly the boarder as well.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      Hay

                      I nod my head to redhorse5! That is superb!
                      Sorry! But that barn smell is my aromatherapy!
                      One of our horsey bumper stickers! www.horsehollowpress.com
                      Add Very Funny Horse Bumper Stickers on facebook

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                      • #31
                        Take her out for lunch, get to know her, let her get to know you. You've got a lot in common and might end up liking each other.

                        Explore some of her ideas with her. She's trying to help and you never know, if you stop being so defensive about it, you could find she does know what she's talking about.

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          You're kidding, right?

                          If I took the time to befriend every PITA, KIA fellow boarder that has crossed my path, I'd not have time to live. There is no reason to be polite to this person!!! She's already been told once, by the BO, that her comments are not appreciated, so either she's thickheaded, or just stubborn enough to think that she's the only enlightened person in the barn. Either way, OP should give her short shrift. I have a feeling that the BO will do so, also.
                          In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
                          A life lived by example, done too soon.
                          www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/

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