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My 9 month old filly strikes out at me

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  • #41
    From your tantrums, it seems that you want everyone to give you ONLY the advice you want to hear, but that's not the way it works on the interwebz. If your fiance is some wunderkind trainer and he'll set you on the right path, why are you even bothering to ask a BB full of strangers how to interact with your foal? You apparently don't want advice, all you really want is validation.
    Homeopathy claims water can cure you since it once held medicine. That's like saying you can get sustenance from an empty plate because it once held food.

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    • #42
      By the way

      Honey, OP stands for "Original Poster."
      The armchair saddler
      Politically Pro-Cat

      Comment

      • #43
        I can understand wanting to have a horse you've trained from the start. I wanted that too when I got a weanling in 2003. And I wanted her to bond with me, so I was (hahahaha) happy when she started to look to me for support and confidence.

        And then she started wanting to jump into my arms (not literally but almost!) when ever she was stressed. And that was cute until I was nearly knocked over. Finally I began to listen to other people, get help, etc.
        You too? I thought the jumping in my arms when spooked was unique to my filly.

        After getting knocked down a couple times, I got some help. I've ridden my whole life, so I mistakenly thought it would be a breeze to start a baby. It's a tough job. If you have someone to help you, by all means get help. You can get hurt. As for the bonding, someone else may have started my filly, but I'll always be her Mama.

        Good luck OP! It's a fun adventure, just be safe about it!

        Comment

        • #44
          Please pass the popcorn & a cold one my way...

          OP~ I'll keep my unwanted response short and sweet. I'm in agreement with the rest of my fellow COTH'ers. Having been in the horse world a very long time (30 years) and trained, taught, boarded, etc., I can safely say that given the info you've supplied us with, you're already over your head.

          I recently, after a two year hiatus from riding (for multiple personal & health reasons, now resolved) decided to get another horse. After much thought, I went with a clean slate, a lovely 2 year old filly who is the epitome of a lady. Having the experience to look beyond the pretty package, I focused mainly on temperment, suitability for discipline, and parent's background (which spoke volumes). It's what is between the ears that counts. For some working with a youngster, be it 9 months or 2 years, comes as second nature. For others, as in your case, it has to be learned.

          It sounds as if you've gotten yourself a pistol of a filly, and are way in over your head and ability. You've started on the wrong foot and she's now the alpha. Either send her off to bootcamp, or sell her to someone who can handle her tantrums.

          So much for short and sweet, and probably a waste to even bother responding. Good luck.
          Last edited by HuntJumpSC; Jan. 15, 2010, 03:25 PM. Reason: spellin'!
          Crayola posse~ orange yellow, official pilot
          Proud owner of "High Flight" & "Shorty"

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          • #45
            Originally posted by aboubika View Post
            I need her to respect me and know I'm in charge but I also need (for me) her to like me and not pin her ears. I guess I don't understand why or how to fix it

            I want to fix it not give her to someone else to fix.

            I wanted the experience to say I had this one from the start. Maybe that's a dumb little girl fantacy- but it is somethign I want to do.
            Originally posted by aboubika View Post
            My priorities are in line I assure you!
            In context of what you've said, these statements seem to contradict each other. As if you will do what it takes to bring up this filly correctly- as long as it fits into your personal aspirations and a laundry list of "wants". I could be wrong... but that is certainly how I see what you've written.
            <><

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            • #46
              Originally posted by FancyFree View Post
              You too? I thought the jumping in my arms when spooked was unique to my filly.
              If mine got scared, they'd jump behind me and then peek at whatever boogered them. The first time it happened, I almost died laughing. And bless their little hearts, they were always careful go around me to get there, instead of through me.
              __________________________
              "... if you think i'm MAD, today, of all days,
              the best day in ten years,
              you are SORELY MISTAKEN, MY LITTLE ANCHOVY."

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              • #47
                I wanted the experience to say I had this one from the start. Maybe that's a dumb little girl fantacy- but it is somethign I want to do.
                That's a big part of your problem. You need to ditch the need for bragging rights. You need to make your horse's training your first priority. You want your horse to become a good citizen right? Get her a good start by working with a professional. It will save you and her a ton of heartache.

                Do the best by your horse.

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                • #48
                  Originally posted by RoyalTRider View Post
                  In context of what you've said, these statements seem to contradict each other. As if you will do what it takes to bring up this filly correctly- as long as it fits into your personal aspirations and a laundry list of "wants". I could be wrong... but that is certainly how I see what you've written.
                  There were quite a few contradictions, including the fact that they took delivery n the foal on Jan 13 and on Jan 9th she went out to the pasture to feed it treats; then she says I was the only one to handel her at 1st because I wanted to be the one to bond with her but when people were like drop jawed that her fiancee would buy her such a young horse and leave her alone with it, she said it was because he was out of town, so who knows what's true and what's not.
                  Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.

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                  • #49
                    I predict...

                    That before I return from work tonight:

                    1) the OP will have one final big blow out post.

                    2) the thread will be locked

                    3) The poor filly (if it does exist) will end up on CL or at auction down the road.

                    4) Some people will lament how absolutely evil some COTH posters are.

                    5) Hopefully, one or two people will see beyond the 'snark' and realize that these people have GENUINE concern for both horses and their handlers.
                    Eternal Earth-Bound Pets Independent Contractor.


                    All I want is to know WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHICKEN???

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                    • #50
                      I hope so too, 3|s.
                      Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.

                      Comment

                      • #51
                        ThreeBars~ My thoughts exactly.
                        Crayola posse~ orange yellow, official pilot
                        Proud owner of "High Flight" & "Shorty"

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                        • #52
                          mp - you too? My big bad Ayrab does that too, but he's only big and bad when HE wants to be! Every other time he's just a bitty pony hiding behind me. Ask me about the turkey buzzards one day.... What a great story that is!

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                          • #53
                            Yes, there is contradiction after contradiction after realizing that everyone was not going to pat her shoulder and tell her she's doing great and everything will be fine. Babies are hard. period. No, they are not fire-breathing dragons, but I think it's foolish to jump into it feet first without experience. You say your fiance is this awesome trainer, but I'm sorry... an awesome trainer would not just let you on your merry way with a young filly and zero knowledge how to handle her. No quality trainers that I've seen would be ok with that. So yes... I question how marvelous and experienced your trainer fiance is. Sorry. You do only want the puppies and rainbows comments as you proved with your temper tantrums and deleting your original post. You did not delete it because you got all the answers you needed, you deleted it because you started getting answers you didn't want. Btw... once something's on the internet it never really disappears. That alone shows that you do not have your priorities in line if you cannot handle criticism.

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                            • #54
                              I have a mare like yours, though to watch her now, you'd never know it. Two years ago, she was hard to lead, hard to catch, pushy on the ground, charged people in the pasture....and I had plenty of people tell me to get rid of her. Now she behaves like a perfect lady.....so long as she has a handler who insists on it. So I'm not going to tell the OP that it cannot work out. It takes commitment and a willingness to learn and change, because obviously whatever you are doing now is NOT working.

                              Regarding the behavior towards humans, I literally chased my mare from one end of the pasture to the other with the lunge whip for every infraction. Every pinned ear, scowl, cocked hind leg, charge or just ignoring me meant more work. It took over 45 minutes, and both the horse and I were out of breath and sweaty (horse more than me!). BUT eventually she stopped, looked at me and did the baby horse mouth thing. I haltered her and we went on our merry way. It only took one time, and she has never tried it again. Most days she meets me at the gate. She's no dummy and has figured out that coming to the gate, standing quietly for the halter and then getting treats, grooming and scritching beats getting her a** worked off.

                              These types will test you again and again, and you have to catch it before it escalates. For example, let the horse walk past you through the gate one day, do nothing to correct it and the next day she will try to run past you. You have to stop, back her up, go in and out of the gate 10 times until she gets that she doesn't go through until the human says so (Pixie had to have this lesson repeated many times before it sunk in). You have to be absolutely fair and consistent and you cannot stop paying attention. And the horse will like you all the more because of it.

                              There are some good things about fiery alpha mares. They tend to be very smart. The same sensitivity to body language that lets them tell in a nanosecond whether a human is dominant or submissive can be channeled with appropriate training into exceptionally fine-tuned responses to aids. They are often very brave and not easily spooked. Once you have their respect, you can get a beautiful partnership--but you have to have the respect first, and you have to keep their respect.

                              Good luck,
                              BES
                              Proudly owned by 2 chestnut mares
                              Crayola Posse: sea green
                              Mighty Rehabbers Clique

                              Comment

                              • #55
                                Originally posted by Threebars View Post
                                2) the thread will be locked
                                Sigh... that's one thing I hate about this board(sorry COTH ). I hate that people can't tell it like it is without an "oh my goodness, everyone is so evil and mean and the thread gets locked.

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                                • #56
                                  Originally posted by dmalbone View Post
                                  Sigh... that's one thing I hate about this board(sorry COTH ). I hate that people can't tell it like it is without an "oh my goodness, everyone is so evil and mean and the thread gets locked.
                                  Or delete their original posts, when they don't like what folks had to say, even when they said that ANY adivce would be appreciated! Guess she forgot that she had double posted the thread.
                                  I am in desperate need of advice... my fiance recently bought me a just 9 month old filly as my wedding present, we got her January 13th. I was the only one to handel her at 1st because I wanted to be the one to bond with her.
                                  January 9th I went out to her pasture alone in hope to bond with her. I had some treats in my hand that I gave her right away- as soon as they were gone she reared up and stricked out at me, hitting my hip, and continued to chase me right out of the pasture (which I know, your not suppose to back up from them but I had nothing with me to defend myself).
                                  Since then- she has stricked out at me twice (these times my fiance- Mike, has been around). She also pins her ears back at me all the time. Mike has now handeled her a couple times and she respects him and seems to like him (never pins her ears at him)- she even chews when he is around, which he tells me is her thinking and wanting to be part of his heard.
                                  Since last time she stricked at me (just Thursday the 14th 7am) I have got mad- I now make sure to have a rope or something with me to get after her. I chase her away from me if she runs up to me, repremand her for kicking her front feet out at the ground, etc... I'm mad now- so I'm starting to demand respect to.
                                  But she still pins her ears back at me- I honestly feel as if she just hates me. Any advice? Mike's great at giving advice and knows foal & heard behavior- but he takes what he knows and has for granted. I know I have to be tough around her- but feeling like she hates me, is very depressing for me. This is my 1st foal and I expected a different experience. This has just been a aweful experience so far and I want to make it better. I need her to respect me and know I'm in charge but I also need (for me) her to like me and not pin her ears. I guess I don't understand why or how to fix it.
                                  Any advice would be SO much appreciated!
                                  Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.

                                  Comment

                                  • #57
                                    oh yeah... I had it. Just waiting for someone to ask.

                                    Comment

                                    • #58
                                      Having now gotten to read the (pasted) original post...

                                      I think you & the filly should just hug it out.
                                      "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

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                                      • #59
                                        Can you trade her in for a diamond like most engagement rings?
                                        McDowell Racing Stables

                                        Home Away From Home

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                                        • #60
                                          wooooboy. here comes the drama!

                                          anyone want popcorn? i also make some pretty killer hummus & pita chips.
                                          Proud member of the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique

                                          PONY'TUDE

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