• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)
See more
See less

My 9 month old filly strikes out at me

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #21
    Company would probably do wonders for her. In addition to teaching manners it would also keep her occupied.

    Half of what she's doing is probably out of boredom and having nobody to play with.

    Older horses can teach her the ropes, but probably won't give her the playtime that would be good for her.
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.

    Comment


    • #22
      Originally posted by dmalbone View Post
      Does this poster remind you guys anything of that one a couple months back who had the knowledgeable older fiance or boyfriend or something and was looking for a giveaway young horse. No?
      Or...are y'all possibly feeding a troll...?
      Founding Member of "I Kept 'Off Topic Day!' Open"

      Comment


      • #23
        I can understand wanting to have a horse you've trained from the start. I wanted that too when I got a weanling in 2003. And I wanted her to bond with me, so I was (hahahaha) happy when she started to look to me for support and confidence.

        And then she started wanting to jump into my arms (not literally but almost!) when ever she was stressed. And that was cute until I was nearly knocked over. Finally I began to listen to other people, get help, etc.

        Fast forward to today -- I *still* consider this mare to be one I raised myself, and we are as bonded and fond of each other as a human-horse pair can or should be. But seriously it takes a village. I could go through everything she knows and can do and say "Mary helped me with that" and "That's from John Lyons" and "wow I was glad Erica was here to be the first to canter her under saddle". That's not giving up control, that's being smart and bringing in good consultants!

        So here are some ideas:

        - John Lyons' Bringing Up Baby is a great book with lots of visuals

        - Unless your fiance would mind (and if he does it would be a red flag for me), do look into taking the filly to a groundwork clinic, sooner than later. Make sure they know her age and will have exercises and supervision that is age-appropriate.

        - If something isn't clicking, or if there's something that is going badly, don't do it! Let's say it's picking up feet. The more times you try and she says "no way Jose", the deeper it's getting. Put that task aside and look for a consultant, be it a book, video, fiance, friend or clinician. There are other things you can work on.

        Above all, be open to ideas from everyone, and don't be afraid to relinquish control or have someone else work with her. Better a mare that respects you and others than a mare who loooooooves you but fails her horsie good citizenship test!
        Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you? You are at your very best when things are worst.
        Starman

        Comment


        • #24
          Originally posted by caffeinated View Post
          Company would probably do wonders for her. In addition to teaching manners it would also keep her occupied.

          Half of what she's doing is probably out of boredom and having nobody to play with.

          Older horses can teach her the ropes, but probably won't give her the playtime that would be good for her.
          As my Mother always said, "kids and horses need to knock the rough edges off each other so the rest of us can stand them!".

          YES! Turn her out with another horse all day every day!

          Stop hand feeding her.

          Treat her like a HORSE not a human baby - it confuses her.

          Give her a j-o-b. In hand exercises are great for this! Walk, trot, stop, pivot, set up, back, never pull her toward you always move her away from your space. If she acts up shes got to move it move it move it!

          Do Not play with her you are NOT a toy.
          "If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there"

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #25
            I will work or have fiance work more with incorporating the other horses into her pasture time... from the sounds of it- it would be good to switch my 8 yr old mare up with her and then also my 6 yr old gelding who likes to play. That way she can get the experience my 8 yr old will give her but the play time my 6 yr old will give her.
            Thank You JoZ for the name of that book- I think that would help me lots. I am now seeking the help of fiance (him being out of town when she was delivered was not planned and couldn't be helped) but as I said- all the help I can get to make this situation turn out for the right is great. A book will be a good thing to add onto watching his behavior with her. And a clinic- I will have to look into that, that hasn't even crossed my mind yet but I'm sure it would be good for her & I.
            I am definatley open to help- fiance, books, videos, clinics, advice, etc. The only thing I am not open to is sending her away- which I have no reason to with fiance. I could easily have him do it all, it's just wanting to be involved and me learning the right way for that to be.

            Comment


            • #26
              Originally posted by Saidapal View Post
              The bottom line is, babies are not for the faint of heart. They are quick, unpredictable and need to be TAUGHT how to behave like ladies and gentleman. If you cannot stand her down with a firm and gentle hand then the best thing to do would be pass her to someone who can.

              You have been given excellent advice. I hope you rethink turning a deaf ear to it. Nobody is going to be able to teach you in a forum what to do. Everything changes quickly while handling babies....one minute they are standing quietly, the next second they are bucking and farting. Unless you can react quickly you will lose a training opportunity and turn the situation into something much more dangerous. Only time can teach you these things and there is no magic wand.

              If your filly had been born with a quiet temperment you might have been able to handle her. But unfortunately she is of a firey nature and needs someone with much more experience to bring her to a useful adulthood.

              Please take a deep breathe. Everybody here IS trying to help you. And the filly.
              Good grief. Youngsters aren't fire-breathing dragons. Sure, you can get into trouble, but most handlers with a modicum of horse sense can head off problems. I managed to put ground manners on 5 hot ones without getting a hoof to the head. And, believe me, I'm not that skilled. Or brave.

              OP, if you have that much experience, you know how to deal with a horse that's misbehaving. Working with a <1 year old isn't all that different. Be firm. Be consistent and stop trying to be her mother.
              __________________________
              "... if you think i'm MAD, today, of all days,
              the best day in ten years,
              you are SORELY MISTAKEN, MY LITTLE ANCHOVY."

              Comment


              • #27
                I foresee a very bad ending here - or more likely, none at all as the OP will get angry at all the 'mean' responses and leave in a huff.

                FWIW, I think you need to leave this filly alone until the TBF comes back. You 'ran away' in your first post, and have had repeated instances of 'stricking out'.

                No matter how many ''woulda shoulda coulda"s there have been, you need to start from square one. Having encountered a bitchy boss filly myself in my day - a field where as she couldn't push my old 'go away kid, you bother me' mare, said same filly decided that I was going to be the new low man on the pole. She came at me ears pinned, full bore, expecting me to run my little legs off. What she got before she could get withing 10 feet of me was the sudden realization that this little two legged 'horse' could be big and loud, and wasn't worth messing with after all! A few weeks of "You will WAIT until I have given hay piles to everyone else, or the arm extension that I now carried around (i.e. long whip) will hit your little filly fanny/chest/ground in your direction, until you chill out" and "OK, we can be 'friends' and I'll give you treats in the barn when you aren't acting the tarter" - funny enough, that little beasty actually became one of my barn favorites once we established that I was the boss...
                Eternal Earth-Bound Pets Independent Contractor.


                All I want is to know WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHICKEN???

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  #28
                  For the last couple that has given me helpful advice- thank you and is is very appreciated. Her treat given days were 1 and since that 1 day is over, will continue to be over, and won't come again until the far FAR future.
                  Her days of being alone in the pasture too will come to an end (started last night just not for any significant time frame), her rountine will be switched between the old wise mare and the playful gelding- should give her a rounded experience.
                  For the helpful words- again, thank you!

                  For those of you who have told me bad endings are in our future or to send her away... also thank you- because of you all I am now beyond mad, I am no longer thinking I maybe can't do this... it will be done. I will take the advice of some of the helpful repliers and watch fiance interact with her- that will only benefit me. But your harsh words have also benefited me cause now I am all the more determined to see this thru. I know that is not the response you wanted, but it is the outcome.
                  Again, for the harsh words, thank you cause I have learned a thing or 2 between the badgering you wrote and will take that with the determination home tonight.

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    Pride goeth before a fall. Don't get so determined to do it yourself that you forget the ultimate goal: a well-mannered young horse and a better-educated owner.
                    Full-time bargain hunter.

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #30
                      Oh I won't- I know I need fiance's help. Thank You! The ultimate goal is a great horse, not me prooving everyone wrong. My priorities are in line I assure you! It has just helped me get mad, be that confident leader she needs, not her "mommy".

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Originally posted by onelanerode View Post
                        Pride goeth before a fall.
                        I see this misquoted all the time. Actually it's:

                        Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

                        But either way, it applies.
                        __________________________
                        "... if you think i'm MAD, today, of all days,
                        the best day in ten years,
                        you are SORELY MISTAKEN, MY LITTLE ANCHOVY."

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          I taught lessons to a gal who bought the wrong horse before she hired me.

                          I told her that mare was wrong for her. We needed to send her down the road, find her another.

                          I could ride the mare, who was spooky and stoppy. She couldn't ride the mare. Mare would start to worry then owner would lock up and bam she'd fall off or get off ASAP.

                          She didn't agree with me. She was going to Make It Work.

                          Repeat the above cycle over the course of a year.


                          One day mare jerks loose from her on the ground, and double barrels her as she ran past, fortunately barely connecting with her owner. Finally, my phone rang, Sell her ass, I'm done.

                          Owner now has a super cute large pony, she rides her bareback all over the woods, even moonlight rides in the summertime. It is a lovely match.


                          Some lessons cost too much, OP. Your ego is in your way. I hope you learn well from the fiance, who can't be all that sharp about horses to recommend a baby horse to his fiance. It's all just rather an odd deal. Hope it works out ok.

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            Does this poster remind you guys anything of that one a couple months back who had the knowledgeable older fiance or boyfriend or something and was looking for a giveaway young horse. No?
                            Originally posted by Crooked Horse View Post
                            Or...are y'all possibly feeding a troll...?

                            There surely is something awfully familiar here, especially the "stricked" out part. Only I think the one I remember, yes, like last year, had its ears "pined". But I can't find what we are thinking of, so...
                            Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              First, there's nothing wrong with wanting to "expand your repertoire" and learn to start a baby from the very beginning. Just know that your learning curve will be steep at first. You can love her, but know that's she'll like you if she understands you. That means you are clear, consistent, predictable and don't ask for more than she can manage.

                              Having worked only with started horses, here are some things you should keep in mind:

                              Her attention span is short.

                              She doesn't know the stuff we take for granted with more trained horses. The biggest/most scary times you'll see this is when she doesn't seem to have any sense of escalation and de-escalation. I don't know how to explain this well, but it means that she won't react as you'd expect and in increments to your efforts to get her to move, or get her to calm down. The scary part happens, for example, when your farrier asks her to hold a foot up for a few seconds longer than she likes and she hauls off and flies backward. To "us"--people and mature horses, this seems way out of line, given the offense. To her, not having been on Earth long enough to realize that uncomfortable situations will not go on forever and that she won't die, it seems perfectly reasonable to decide to "defend herself by whatever means necessary" when she thinks some limit has been broken.

                              As someone else said above, every time you are interacting with her, you are training her. Be thoughtful about what you want her to learn. By the same token, don't be afraid to quit for the day or let go of some task not quite completed-- say clipping. You have lots of time to get things done. On any given day, less is more with babies.

                              As to the pasture and her behavior this week. It sounds like she's (understandably) insecure about her new home. She doesn't know who to turn to for reassurance. Under that kind of pressure, some young, big-egoed horses can say "I hate you, don't leave me!" as she seemed to do. You are all she has and it isn't enough. Don't take it personally, stand your ground, but know she has some legitimate horsey things to be worried about.

                              Time will help, but so will a kind pasture mate. Your stand-offish but safe 8 year-old mare is good enough for now. Should she start to bully that one, or seem still worried, you might try introducing a kinder-minded horse to their group. If she comes to dominate those guys, put her in with a horse that's higher in the pecking order and really takes no crap. She won't need that hard-a$$ for too long before she gets the point. But don't underestimate how much she's learning from other horses while she's turned out, apparently doing nothing.

                              To get back up on my stump, a foal pasture really is better because the ego- and body sizes among these horses is more even. She'll also have a chance to play with frisky young ones that an older herd doesn't provide. If I had a dime for every person who bought a foal, genuinely didn't know how a baby differed from a young but started horse.... and then didn't want to treat the foal like a foal even when that was suggested!

                              In short, you aren't alone and you aren't doing anything egregiously wrong. You'll get there!
                              The armchair saddler
                              Politically Pro-Cat

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                Well, horses do have likes and dislikes -- surely some of you have noticed horses who like some horses better than others -- but respect is more important than anything else. OP, believe me, if this filly nails you you will not care whether or not she likes you. But you will want her to respect you. Start with that and go from there, *before* you get hurt.

                                Comment

                                • Original Poster

                                  #36
                                  Why are people calling me OP? I came here looking for help to learn to deal with a baby- not advice to sell her. I am getting really annoyed with people thinking I'm some inexperienced idiot. Inexperienced with a foal- yes, inexperienced with horses no. I use to compete all over the country in hunter-jumpers, went to pony finals, winter circuits, you name it. Trained a horse from the ground up- no, trained a horse 3 years old- yes. Had a different idea what having a baby would be like- yes. Adapting my idea's of what a baby is like- yes. I am learning. My ego is not in the way as I have said I am steping back- going to watch him with her, going to learn. But more determined- yes, that isn't a bad thing. And for those of you who think she will be given away down the road- no, so stop comparing me to someone else.
                                  Everyone starts somewhere in horses. Me- started a long time ago, never with foals. I have admited it is a different ballgame, I have admitted I had what it would be like all wrong. I am owning up to my mistakes. But I am also determined enough to see it thru, I'm not going to quit just because I've had a bad week and probably not a good start. I will step back, learn what I need to and try again more confident in myself.
                                  As stated- negitive comments are not needed

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #37
                                    Thank You mvp & TheTetrarch, your advice and words are extremly helpful. This is the kind of stuff I need to hear and know. I will make sure to take your words with me!

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      Originally posted by aboubika View Post
                                      Why are people calling me OP? I came here looking for help to learn to deal with a baby- not advice to sell her. I am getting really annoyed with people thinking I'm some inexperienced idiot. Inexperienced with a foal- yes, inexperienced with horses no. I use to compete all over the country in hunter-jumpers, went to pony finals, winter circuits, you name it. Trained a horse from the ground up- no, trained a horse 3 years old- yes. Had a different idea what having a baby would be like- yes. Adapting my idea's of what a baby is like- yes. I am learning. My ego is not in the way as I have said I am steping back- going to watch him with her, going to learn. But more determined- yes, that isn't a bad thing. And for those of you who think she will be given away down the road- no, so stop comparing me to someone else.
                                      Everyone starts somewhere in horses. Me- started a long time ago, never with foals. I have admited it is a different ballgame, I have admitted I had what it would be like all wrong. I am owning up to my mistakes. But I am also determined enough to see it thru, I'm not going to quit just because I've had a bad week and probably not a good start. I will step back, learn what I need to and try again more confident in myself.
                                      As stated- negitive comments are not needed

                                      OP just means "original poster" , it's a simple way to address whomever started the thead without keeping up with their 'handle'.

                                      Best wishes.

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Originally posted by aboubika View Post
                                        Why are people calling me OP?
                                        "OP" = Original Poster, it just means "the person who started the thread"
                                        "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

                                        My CANTER blog.

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          Originally posted by aboubika View Post
                                          Why are people calling me OP?
                                          OP = Original Poster.

                                          As stated- negitive comments are not needed
                                          It's an internet bulletin board - when you post on them, people are going to give their opinions - positive and negative.

                                          To some of the others saying troll - I think that English is perhaps her second or third language, so I'd cut her a break on that.
                                          Delicious strawberry flavored death!

                                          Comment

                                          Working...
                                          X