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Dave Barry on Horses

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  • Dave Barry on Horses

    Fun article from a non-rider!


  • #2
    "Anyway, following my sister's directions, I put my foot into the metal thing hanging down from the pony (technically, the "fetlock"), and instantly the pony, not wishing to be boarded at that time, trotted briskly off, with my leg attached to it."

    "My shopping list is getting long but I will add the marshmallows right below the napalm." -Weighaton


    • #3
      maybe I should write an article on Dave Barry....
      Special Horses - equine volunteer to assist equines in need!


      • Original Poster

        I spotted that little error and thought "Yes, if you somehow stepped on the horse's fetlock, no wonder he would flee!"


        • #5
          Um, gladys, he just loves to make fun of jargon. I don't think he meant he was stepping on the horse's fetlock.

          Loved it. Giggle. The parts about snot: totally true.
          I tolerate all kinds of animal idiosyncrasies.
          I've found that I don't tolerate people idiosyncrasies as well. - Casey09


          • Original Poster

            Originally posted by Lori B View Post
            Um, gladys, he just loves to make fun of jargon. I don't think he meant he was stepping on the horse's fetlock.

            Loved it. Giggle. The parts about snot: totally true.
            Oh, I thought he was mistaking the word fetlock for stirrup. Shows what I know!!


            • #7
              He is so hilarious! I am laughing so hard, I am almost crying.


              • #8
                Ok, now I have bits of chicken sandwich sprayed over my desk and keyboard - the comment about Olds Cutlass did it
                Founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!

                Member: Incredible Invisbles


                • #9
                  had to cross post. I love me some Barry!!!

                  A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                  Might be a reason, never an excuse...


                  • #10
                    Laughed until I cried! And promptly emailed it to my boyfriend (what the heck do you call them when you're in your 30s that doesn't sound overly salacious or dorky??) who hasn't met his four-legged competition yet. Can't wait to see how that goes over!
                    Flip a coin. It's not what side lands that matters, but what side you were hoping for when the coin was still in the air.

                    You call it boxed wine. I call it carboardeaux.


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by jen-s View Post
                      Laughed until I cried! And promptly emailed it to my boyfriend
                      I sent it to my boyfriend, too. His response to the article?



                      • #12
                        typical pony is the same weight as an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme but with no controls or moral code.


                        • #13

                          Cried I laughed so hard. And emailed to the boyfriend who has braved the dangers of the evil 4-legged beasts once to go trail riding with me. I think he will completely agree with Dave on this one, stick with the dogs, and leave the horses to me.

                          LOVE Dave Barry-I can't read anything by him in public because I laugh loudly every time. If anyone really needs a laugh you should buy his book Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys-great stuff.


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by enjoytheride View Post
                            typical pony is the same weight as an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme but with no controls or moral code.

                            I was about to quote that part myself.

                            Love Dave Barry.
                            Approved helmet: Every time; every ride.
                            "When a sport gets to be predictable it ceases to be fun." - RAR's wise brother


                            • #15
                              Brilliant, thank you so much for sharing!


                              • #16
                                Dave Barry!! He's expanded past writing to stage perfoemances; I saw him post about playing the part of a corpse in a play. Consisted of lying there, with white make-up, and not moving...


                                • #17
                                  Brilliant - thanks very much for sharing this.
                                  I bought one of Dave Barry's books to read on a plane once and had to quit because I was snickering and bothering other passengers. Brilliant.


                                  • #18
                                    He's always funnier than any ten people put together have a right to be, but he does make a sobering point about horsey women tolerating homicidal behavior in their horse, then get all bent out of shape about their man leaving the toilet seat up.

                                    And then they wonder why they "can't find a decent man"? And the rest of us wonder why they don't get a decent horse...


                                    • #19
                                      i LOVE dave barry!!!

                                      i'm so sad he doesn't have a column in the star ledger anymore

                                      when i first discovered him i was elated, then frightened, that there was someone else in this world with the same sense of humor as me...
                                      Proud member of the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique



                                      • #20
                                        My favorite line was, "It's like dropping an anvil on a Hostess Twinkie." Awesome.
                                        "I was not expecting the park rangers to lead the resistance, none of the dystopian novels I read prepared me for this but cool."