• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Things to help a friend putting her old friend down next week

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Things to help a friend putting her old friend down next week

    My neighbor's putting her beloved 1st horse down on Thursday.
    I met her when this old horse really couldn't keep weight 2 or 3 years ago, and she needed help figuring it out. With some help, she brought him back up to weight (no easy task on this very old toothless wonder who was going downhill quick) and the old guy is a gem.
    But, he has Cushing's, is losing weight, and she's getting shorter and shorter on money. He's in his 30's and losing that spark in his eye. Better a day too soon in what can be a harsh Colorado winter (did I mention we already had 8" of snow last week?).

    It's been planned since the summer. I helped her with the vet and burying recommendations. She's 20, never lost a horse, and I offered to hold him for the vet if she wanted to walk away (not an easy thing for me, either, but...). I think she wants to stay with the horse.

    With a few friends, she's going to take him out on the trail (ponied) to enjoy some more good times, while the weather is good (it's back up to 60-70 degrees). She loves pictures, so we can get some great pictures of her and him.

    Should I offer to pay the final vet bill myself (or, just call the vet whom I know and do that)?
    Or, have my pro photographer friends out as a surprise?
    Or, a horsehair bracelet?
    Or ???

  • #2
    I don't think there is any tried and true right thing to do in a situation like this. I lost a heart horse a year and half ago - I didn't own him, but had nursed him through a couple of injuries at the barn and he gave me his heart. He managed to shatter his pastern in his stall one night and that was it. I got to spend a lot of time with him waiting for the vet and there were things that made me feel better:

    1. Although I had friends at the barn with me, the left me alone with my boy. One of my friends made a run to the store and came back with every kind of apple and carrot known to man - he got his choice.

    2. While it was suggested that I not stay through everything, I knew I had to and am still glad I did, even though it was hard. After tranquilizing him to the max, when the vet got ready to administer the last shot, he took the lead so that I would not get hurt when Tellie went down and ended up between the two of us. As drugged as he was, Tellie's head came up and he was looking - for me. I immediately got into his sight line so that I was the last thing he saw. While it was terribly hard at the time, I am so very glad I was there - for him - he made the choice to give me his heart, I owed it to him to be there at the end.

    3. Ironically enough, the last ride I had on him involved lots of pictures. A very good friend with a really nice camera came out and shot pics of us - and then, on the day he died, printed them all out for me. They are framed all over the house. My favorite is me planting a kiss on his nose.

    4. Bracelet - I opted not to. Partly, because I couldn't see myself cutting off his tail for it. My trainer, who owned him, graciously gave me his halter. That was enough for me.

    I am sure many others here can give you better answers than I can. I just know that if can be there with her on the day, it will help her immensely. She will need a shoulder to cry on - that day and probably for many days thereafter.

    I don't know if your friend has other horses around, but one of the nicest things that happened after Tellie went was the day after. I went to the barn as usual on Sunday morning, helped feed, turn out and clean stalls. Then we (my trainer, her husband and I) went to breakfast. When we got back, they went in the house and I was all alone and miserable. I walked back to the gelding pasture and they all came to the fence to see me. Although I am the "treat fairy" at the barn, on that day not one was asking for treats - they all just stood quietly as close to me as they could get, taking turns to nuzzle me. Such an incredible gift. They knew.
    And nothing bad happened!


    • #3
      Oh, FatPalomino, what a great friend you are! Bless you! I would simply ask this young woman what she needs from you and be glued to her side at every step of the way, lest she think she can take on more than she's prepared for.

      I don't know the particulars as to why YOU should pay the vet bill, but if you're in a better financial position and she's struggling to do right by her horse, then bless you again.

      There are plenty of less-costly ways to memorialize a horse and a camera is right up there. Take tons of pics, schedule the euth, and be upbeat and as positive as you can be. You know all of this, I know.

      Good luck to you, her and the horse. The input you're giving is invaluable and, I'm sure, will be remembered by her for years to come.


      • #4
        How generous of you to offer support and the wisdom that comes from experience. Of course, the greatest gift you can offer is simply being there for her, but you know that already. The hardest thing for me has always been trying to explain the depth of emotion to non-animal people- that vague feeling of nakedness afterwards- like you left the house without your wallet or something- that persists for weeks and months and so on. She'll need your understanding long after the day has gone.
        As to your other thoughts- if she loves pictures, just take a lot of them. The last time I went through a traumatic euth was with a much beloved dog, and many people took lovely pictures of her towards the end for me. I like having them to look at now and again, but it isn't how I want to remember her- my brother gave me a lovely framed enlargement of her from the summer before she went downhill, and that is what hangs on my wall. If the spark is gone- I wouldn't want lovely professional photos of my friend at his worst. She will have the pictures you all take on the trail to reflect upon. JMO.
        Only you can decide if it is in your financial best interest to assist with the vet bill. It's an amazingly generous offer, and if her financial state is rough- and I know mine was at 20- that may be a great burden lifted.
        I think the horse hair bracelets are lovely, but they seem to have a limited shelf life- they will degrade eventually. Does he have a decent halter? Maybe a shadow box of his halter, shoes, photographs from happier times, mane clipping, etc. would be more lasting.
        I feel fortunate sometimes to have grown up horsey- my first loss was young, and while I'm not exactly accustomed to it, at least I know what to expect now. Your quiet understanding will benefit her greatly. This is a good thing you're doing.
        My thoughts are with you both and godspeed to the old fellow.
        bar.ka think u al.l. susp.ect
        free bar.ka and tidy rabbit