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Since when does giving a 14 year old some advice equal verbal assault?

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  • umm having other thoughts now --

    kid was wrong right-- and we all know if we would have seen it would have corrrected said kid -- to encoruage them its not the done thing and like op did showed her the correct thing---

    kid is spoilt so went to mummy --

    mummy comes back shouting mouth off--
    op reports to barn owner - and hopefully can find out owner
    - now op ssays she hasnt spoken to anyone else

    but she did to bo--- and he said if it happens again would give them the out card--

    so did the b/o take action and warn ssaid -- spolit family --to back off

    now judging by - spolit kid and mums atitude-- they not going to leave it just there--
    o - then kid suckers up to o/h ---- um

    this could be a ploy -- amulitative ploy of both either to get you out but and there is a big but --

    people like this want blood-------so they dont just stop there as they are very rightoues

    ok -- going to try to explain the child protection thingy a bit
    i know you are aware of it -
    so --
    hubby runs a judo club right and he takes kids to events that can be girls or boys - he does not take them ever on his own-- he has another adult with hiim if he takes a girl then he make sure another girl of 18 is with her if a boy the same or another adult of same sex mostly its boys and he goes with the other instructor -- and kid but sometimes girls compete

    my point -- if it is a maliptive ploy - then o/h cant be left alone with said kid at any time ----


    • Originally posted by pacificsolo
      Hehehe...I'd be one step ahead of this crazy lady and file for a restraining order on the mom She sounds like a nut and I'd want a paper-trail.
      Me too...

      I think you did nothing wrong, as a matter of fact I would have taken it one step further and spoke to the BM/Bo about this rotten girl's behavior. I don't care what the horse did wrong, no horse deserves to be whipped in the face. As we all know...you can do everything right and things can go wrong in a fraction of a second, and someone can end up injured severely or dead, it's only a matter of time before this girl gets an unpleasant shock.
      Last edited by chism; Mar. 9, 2007, 09:22 AM.
      "We're still right, they're still wrong" James Carville


      • I agree with Chism all the way...I would tell the BO/BM. Any reports of abuse should not go unreported. The docile pony could decide one day that he/she has had it with the treatment recieved by the kid & without previous info on how it was treated, the pony could be blamed. Also, how much horse experience does Mom have? She may see her 14yr old as an all-knowing seasoned horse-person. Especially if the kid has any USPC experience. 1 blue ribbon & parents think their kid can run a barn.
        The only other comment I have is, in PC, they teach the kids NOT to hold onto their ponies, right under the shank. Instead, the pony/horse should be lead with ample slack in the lead rope. Their point is, if you hold a horse, right under the snap & they decide to take off, rear up or whatever, you have less control if up at the snap rather than near the end of the rope & your arm can get yanked out of the socket. Kids with any degree of fear in leading their pony (which may be why the child flipped out in the first place...lack of confidence) tend to hold up close thinking they have better control.
        But you did the right thing. I couldn't stand by while anyone abused an animal.


        • Originally posted by wineberrywillie View Post
          in PC, they teach the kids NOT to hold onto their ponies, right under the shank. Instead, the pony/horse should be lead with ample slack in the lead rope.
          Wait a minute... I was in pony club and we were taught to lead the pony with both hands. Right hand is a few inches under the chin, and the left hand it holding the slack.... NOT wrapped around your hand, bunched up. We were taught NEVER to lead by halters for the reasons you just mentioned, no fun having arms yanked out of sockets!, but a few inches under the chin is appropriate. Is that what you meant?
          Meredith Barlow, EqDT
          Meredith offers seminars on equine dentistry free of charge. Call or email to set up yours today!


          • YOU did nothing illegal...BUT stay out of it. Just watch the trainwreck and maybe catch the horse when the drama's done. "Throw not your pearls to swine..."
            "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"


            • Originally posted by Trakehner View Post
              YOU did nothing illegal...BUT stay out of it. Just watch the trainwreck and maybe catch the horse when the drama's done. "Throw not your pearls to swine..."
              You do realize Trakehner that this post is from March 2007?


              • I would love to hear a follow up, now, 5 years later.


                • poor horse. point the finger 3 pointing back. your actions, not verbal assault, what mamma did yeesh I am not so sure. Poor horse.
                  Just like our eyes, our hearts have a way of adjusting to the dark.--Adam Stanley


                  • You know you didn't do anything wrong and these people are animal abusing nut cases.

                    Yep, animal abusers. Had mama come screaming at me I would've told her, in quite a polite quiet voice, that if I ever see her daughter beating a horse about the head again I won't bother saying one word to her but I most certainly will report her to the humane society. And that if she didn't back up just a tad herself and stop screaming I'm dialing 911 from my cell phone. And do it. I'm too old to put up with crackpot mothers and snotty teenagers who get their jollies by knocking horses about the head. I know that type and they don't change.


                    • Originally posted by archieflies View Post
                      This isn't a popular opinion to hold, but I get the feeling that this world (or maybe just our society) puts a little too much importance on children. They are golden. They are our hope and future. They must be protected at all costs. They must not be held back. Children are supreme. And as such, they are always right. They cannot be challenged. And its not just the spoiled rich kids... its all of them. Its done with good intentions, but it is nearly always carried too far. That's how we get kids who don't know how to take advice. That's how we get parents who believe their child's every word. That's how we get authorities swooping in to investigate every allegation. That's how we get responsible parents who are shunned for disciplining their children. Because children are our society's supreme diety.

                      And so, if this mother wanted to sue you based on her child's accusations, she could at least succeed in getting a restraining order against you. She could easily ruin your reputation. And you probably wouldn't be welcome in the barn because of the fuss, but the child would not be asked to leave, because, after all, she's just a child. Yes, they could easily do damage.

                      I am a teacher. Today I had a 7th grade girl who repeatedly got up out of her seat, wandered across the room, and distracted other students during an assignment. My pleas to sit down were ignored. I walked over to where the girl was trying to pick a fight with a boy and moved in closely, careful not to touch. I looked her in the eye. She smirked back and pushed past me. I finally put myself between her and the boy and rested my hand gently on the girl's shoulder, guiding her back to her seat. The whole class went dead silent, amazed that I would make PHYSICAL CONTACT with the girl. After staring at me in shock for a few minutes, the girl exploded into a tyrade of, "I'm going to tell the principle you touched me! You hit me! That's what I'm going to tell them! You don't get to touch me! My parents will sue! Did yall see her? She hit me!!" She eventually wore herself out and gave up because I was ignoring her (and without attention, the tantrum wasn't any fun), but the initial reaction from her and the classmates was very telling. Utter shock that I would dare to "cross the line." They've never seen it! They may be kids, but they've picked up on society's unspoken (or spoken?) rules that say adults should tiptoe around children and treat them like crystal glasses. And if she wanted, she probably could raise a fuss, lie and say I hit her, get her classmates to back her up, and never have her integrity questioned. And I'd be the "bad adult" who invaded her rights. Nevermind that I've been physically attacked by students, hit, had things thrown at me, ridiculed, and all that by students... they are children, they "don't know better." (Now do they really not know better, or do we just not expect them to know better?) But I am an adult, and, as such, less valued than a child. They are the future, I am not. (A questionable future, I say.) And because we're failing miserably in the present, we coddle our future and hope they'll bail us out...

                      Long rant, I apologize. But really, I do believe we've taken "children's rights" a bit too far. It's time to have higher expectations for children.
                      Great post!


                      • I dunno how this one got posted but it's some good readin'.
                        GR24's Musing #19 - Save the tatas!!


                        • You ran into Mommy Dearest. Hopefully for the last time. I hope the BO has a few words with her.


                          • >><<>><<
                            Last edited by HanoverJumper; Dec. 29, 2012, 10:41 PM. Reason: saw it was an old thread
                            Live Free Or Die Hard


                            • Originally posted by Chief2 View Post
                              There are some parents who do not want anyone correcting their child but themselves. They particularly do not want anyone raising their voice to that child either (which I know you did not do). It is a control issue, pure and simple. This is a very important step in the raising of a princess. Soon, she will be annoying a lot more people in the barn besides you! Enjoy working with your horse, and give these royalty-wannabes a wide berth.
                              That story reminds me of the time I'm on a long flight, 5+ hours and the kid behind me starts kicking my seat. The following conversation ensued:

                              Me: [turning to the child who I think was maybe 4 or 5]: Please do not kick my seat
                              Child [ignores me and continues to kick the seat]

                              Mom: Don't speak to my child that way
                              Me: I wouldn't have to, if you would supervise him.


                              • Brat

                                Wow i dont agree with useing chain shanks any ways. Fricken spoiled brat. Yes if my horse went to trot ahead of me i would have backed him up but not to that extreme and never ever would i whip him


                                • I think this post was the answer to What Is Buried In My Front Yard.
                                  "Remain relentlessly cheerful."

                                  Graphite/Pastel Portraits


                                  • LOL, someone dredged up a thread from 2007? Maybe child is all grown up now and she's the one who had to take out a restraining order against her parents for stalking. Very true, happened in Cincinnati.


                                    • I hope somehow the owner is contacted. Sounds like a saint of a horse that deserves better and should have no problem finding a family who will appreciate all he has to offer. I have barn friends that lease out their older campaigners and I absolutely would step in if I saw a leasee treating the horse like this. I doubt i would have been as kind as you. That kid would be walking back to the barn without her pony and explaining to the owner and trainer exactly why. Maybe next time mommy dearest gets in your face suggest calling the owner right then and there.


                                      • Originally posted by HJAlter84 View Post
                                        I hope somehow the owner is contacted. Sounds like a saint of a horse that deserves better and should have no problem finding a family who will appreciate all he has to offer. I have barn friends that lease out their older campaigners and I absolutely would step in if I saw a leasee treating the horse like this. I doubt i would have been as kind as you. That kid would be walking back to the barn without her pony and explaining to the owner and trainer exactly why. Maybe next time mommy dearest gets in your face suggest calling the owner right then and there.
                                        You're a little late to the party. The thread is from 2007.


                                        • Parenting and reading for content are both on the endangered list...lol
                                          "You can't really debate with someone who has a prescient invisible friend"