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Losing Interest....

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  • Losing Interest....

    Anyone else gone through this before? I am feeling guilty but hopefully I am not alone. Basically the long and the short of it. Horse lives in 80 acre field. Can take up to 30 minutes to get him. Not a huge deal but I work nights and in the summer heat it really is no fun. Money is tight as well and that occupies my mind more than ever. I do see him and take care of him a few days a week and I have friends who have eyes on him but I just feel guilty. I ride about once a week when I used to ride 4 - 5 times a week. any positive input would be greatly appreciated.
    Proud Member of the Opinionated Redhead Club! RIP my dear Avery ~3/21/1995-9/21/2011~

    Extreme Cat!!! 2006 OTTB
    Magic Cat - Final Demand

  • #2
    Don't feel guilty about not riding - your horse doesn't care! As a working adult, iy can be hard to fit it all in. We moved the end of last month and I didn't even see my girl for over a week. Enjoy your horse when you can, even if it is just going out and taking him a carrot.
    A proud friend of bar.ka.


    • #3
      I'm pregnant and have my 3 sitting at my boarding barn. At first it was a nice reason not to have to ride all the time since I was banned from riding at about 16 weeks along and I really enjoyed having them on full board and only having to go to visit after doing all the care for them myself 2x's a day every day.

      I was put on limited activity and bed rest at 23 weeks and then the guilt set in when I really couldn't go see them. My barn manager is fantastic and a good friend, so I got plenty of updates, knew they were as happy as clams and did occasionally sneak down to see them, but the day I watched my gelding, who is my baby, give his loving googly eyes to her (she was feeding him...but still, lol) and basically ignore me, I was devestated. Literally devestated!

      Now at 35 weeks I'm allowed to move around again, I can NOT wait to be able to ride and spend time with them - not just standing at the fence feeding carrots, but really ride and groom and clean my tack and all that stuff that I thought I was happy about getting a well deserved break from.

      So, my point is, it's understandable, especially when things are hectic in life, but hang in there, you'll probably get it back again. Not sure if your guy is anything like my guys, but I think they were just thrilled to have a big pasture to themselves and be asked nothing but to eat and graze. Take some time for yourself if you need it and remember there are A LOT worse of things that could be happening to him than getting to hang out and be a horse for a while.

      I think we all need a breather sometimes....the hard part is not feeling guilty while we're taking it.


      • #4
        Take all the time you need. Your horse doesn't care- he's quite happy eating and being a horse.
        Horse Show Names Free name website with over 6200 names. Want to add? PM me!


        • #5
          Is there any way you can cross fence off and acre or two so that your horse isn't loose on 80 acres? This might make your horse more enjoyable for you again.


          • #6
            There is a trick to catching horses in fields, which is to catch them, and then always let them eat for a while, about 2-3 minutes or so, and by then the horse doesn't associate being caught with working. Just stand there, hold the lead shank, let them eat grass.

            I think the best way to catch them is to give them a treat. Ours come in even from grass, for a carrot or apple. If your routine is part of bringing them in to feed them or put them in for the day it also helps to catch them.

            If you're getting disinterested in things you used to enjoy in general, that's different. Might be depression or another health problem slowing you down.


            • #7
              Originally posted by TB_GAL View Post
              I think we all need a breather sometimes....the hard part is not feeling guilty while we're taking it.

              I was feeling EXTREMELY burned out all through August... The heat, the chores, never being able to go anywhere or do anything b/c of needing to feed him, the (frankly) tedium of doing ground work with a young horse... I was MORE than happy to send Q off to the trainer to be started u/s and let him be someone else's problem for a while. He's there thru the end of the month and it's really only been just THIS weekend that I've started getting twinges of "I miss my pony!"

              I have made a decision that I'm putting him in full board somewhere for the winter, b/c I decided what was really dragging ME down was living in a new area & never being able to make any friends b/c of not being able to accept invitations anywhere. I live far enough out that driving home to feed & then driving BACK to the city isn't a realistic possibility. Having him in full board will free up SOME of my evenings, and he'll have better turnout and a barn for the winter, so it's pretty much a win-win for both of us.

              So I guess my suggestion would be to try taking a step back and looking at the overall to see what's bugging you that you might be able to change.

              Good to see you back on here, BTW!
              "The standard you walk by is the standard you accept."--Lt. Gen. David Morrison, Austalian Army Chief


              • #8
                Don't feel guilty. The horse does not need daily attention from you or riding 4-5 times a week. As long as you don't overdo it, riding 1x week is just fine for the horse. Having someone lay eyes on the horse once a day is necessary, but the horse will be just fine on limited riding/attention. Is it possible to get him in a smaller pasture? That will help you be more motivated. But give it time. Your motivation will probably come back. Can you find someone to half lease the horse? That might help with the money situation and ease your worries a little. And you can still ride 1 or more times a week on a half lease. Good luck.


                • Original Poster

                  slc2 - I don't have a problem catching my horse but when he lives on 80 acres it can and often takes 30 minutes to walk to him and walk him back. but thanks for the lesson on "how to catch a horse" . What would this board do without you........

                  To everyone else - THANKS! You guys get it. Just burn out and the tedium of it all. Hoping to get him on full board in the next six months but that may be just a pipe dream $$$ at this time. It's just the guilts. Today I have the whole day off and plan a big day with him another thing was we were finally getting ahead of the game in our dressage and I was planning on moving him up to BN this year but again, $$$$. I know I am not the only person having a hard time in this economy it just feels good to talk about it. I am truly blessed to even own a horse and that is what I really need to keep in perspective.

                  I did approach my BO about half leasing him last week. She actually is the coach of one of the High School Equestrian teams so we will see.
                  Proud Member of the Opinionated Redhead Club! RIP my dear Avery ~3/21/1995-9/21/2011~

                  Extreme Cat!!! 2006 OTTB
                  Magic Cat - Final Demand


                  • #10
                    I went through a period in my life (5 years ) when my horses were sort of "mothballed." I was busy with career, then having babies, and I loved horses but felt kind of burned out on all the care. I leased out my horse and enjoyed being a "normal" person for a few years. I had no horse magazines or catalogs! I am SO glad I let myself do this! I emerged and am as horse crazy as ever, my horse did not suffer, and now I have 5 horses at home and 2 horse crazy daughters, and I think I love having horses even more because I did not force myself to keep at it when my heart wasn't in it.

                    It's OK to take a break! Go explore other parts of your life!


                    • #11
                      Horses are definitely mothballed in my life right now. I don't much miss them most of the time (although there are certainly moments ).

                      Taking a break is a great way to discover if you have other interests. One of two things happens: you either discover (a) that absence makes the heart grow fonder or (b) out of sight out of mind. Good luck!
                      Chronicles of the $700 Pony
                      The Further Adventures of the $700 Pony
                      www.blithetraveler.com <-- My Blog


                      • #12
                        I went through the same thing when I lost Aisha. Lost interest in my other horse, tried branching out into some other hobbies, stopped all my horsey magazines. I felt GUILTY and awful and sad, but because of those feelings and associating them with the barn I avoided the barn even more! Once I got rid of the second horse, I was actually afraid I'd never get into it again....
                        COTH's official mini-donk enabler

                        "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


                        • #13
                          Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

                          They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

                          We're lost, indeed


                          • Original Poster

                            Hello All! had a great ride yesterday. Instead of straight dressage I put his cc saddle on and went to the jumper ring and hacked both long and low and some framed and forward work. Nothing uptight, just good work/fun. then popped some jumps and finished with lots of pats and smiles.

                            I have also been going thru some pretty significant issues with my S.O. which is not helping.

                            This too shall pass. My boy is great and is in incredible shape from living outside 24/7. a bit faded but otherwise unscathed.

                            thanks again for your support
                            Proud Member of the Opinionated Redhead Club! RIP my dear Avery ~3/21/1995-9/21/2011~

                            Extreme Cat!!! 2006 OTTB
                            Magic Cat - Final Demand


                            • #15
                              Teach him to come when called. All my horses come running when I yell for them. They aren't on 80 acres but if they were I definetly wouldn't GO get them. It's much faster if he came to you.

                              Teach him that when you yell or if he's on 80 acres use an air horn or whislte and every time you call him, give him a treat. SO, much easier.

                              Good luck.


                              • #16
                                Wow...good booie...I was just thinking about you the other day. Nothing creepy, but the 'how has your life changed since you joined COTH' thread had me thinking about the regular posters from back then. You were one (and you had a Zaldi...one that darkened to a lovely havanna...I jealously remember that as well )

                                I, too, am battling some burn-out feelings. I go to the barn with the ever present thought of how quickly can get everything done and get back home. That's not good. To make matters worse, I've now got two horses of my own and ride a third, so "quickly" is rarely in the cards.

                                My burn-out actually started before I bought the second horse. I was re-habbing the one and riding another twice a week, on Sat and Sun. I think going to the barn every day and doing the hand-walking got real old, real quick,especially when I was doing a lot of overtime at work. The pressure to always be there and fulfil my responsibilities made it all horrible. I thought being able to ride more would make it all go away, but really it's about having fun riding....and that has taken a while to get to on two of the horses (new horse and rehabbing horse...third is an old pro).

                                I think what's made things fractionally better for me is that I am not putting as much pressure on myself to be such a great horse owner. Two live in pasture...if I miss a day...so what? The other is a good sort that doesn't need to be ridden every day. Basically, I've allowed myself to take time off. It's helping tremendously. I've gone from 7 days a week at the barn to four or five.

                                I'm also looking for someone to help ride the re-hab horse. He's back in full flat work (haven't started jumping yet) and the pasture has mellowed his brain significantly. I think finding someone to take over the weekdays on him would allow me to enjoy the barn and not always be rushed and on a schedule. Finding someone has been difficult (he's mellowed A LOT, he just still needs a specific type of ride to do well and those riders all have their own horses to deal with ) but I have a few leads that I hope pan out.

                                Anyway, allow yourself freedom from the guilt of not riding. The horses will survive. Figure out what part of your barn time makes you happiest and focus your energy on that. Combine daily activities if you can and/or change how you view an activity. Two of the horses live in pasture that's a 6+ minute walk from the barn. It's not enough to get real exercise, but instead of being grumpy about having to go out there so much, I count it as some exercise. It's not great...but it helps keep me a little more positive about the walk (we'll see how that works when it's cold, dark and muddy ).
                                Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
                                Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"


                                • Original Poster

                                  Hello Ruggy!!!

                                  haha, the Zaldi saga..... I still have that saddle and still love it to pieces.

                                  "My horse needs a specific ride and all those people have their own horses to deal with". Couldn't have said it better myself. Not sure I would go through with a lease anyway. But threw it out there to my BO just to see.

                                  this thread has helped a lot. Being a working adult, family, other interests, sometimes it is just too much. I am just gonna let it go and not beat myself up about it.

                                  The good thing about winter at my farm is that they put the round bales right by the gate. YAY! Much less walking. Which reminds me, I need new muddies.
                                  Proud Member of the Opinionated Redhead Club! RIP my dear Avery ~3/21/1995-9/21/2011~

                                  Extreme Cat!!! 2006 OTTB
                                  Magic Cat - Final Demand