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Grieving Update

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  • Grieving Update

    Hi everyone,

    You guys have been so wonderful since I lost my mare last November. I thought I'd give you an update.

    As the one-year anniversary approaches, I feel that I am doing much better. I am not looking forward to that day (November 8), however. I have a feeling that it will be tough. *I still cannot get myself to wash the cooler that she wore on her final day* (has anyone else had a similar experience?)...I just cannot do it.

    On a positive note, my surviving mare, Grace, and I have become much closer. In fact, I recently went on vacation for a few days, and when I returned, I called her name and she galloped down from the back field to see me. It was wonderful. She was always rather "aloof" when Chutney was alive, but we have really bonded now that she is my only horse.

    I recently visited Kentucky and was able to go to Keeneland, where Chutney was first sold (to her previous owner) as a foal. That was really neat! When I went into the gift shop, my eyes were drawn to a jar of - you guessed it! - *chutney* on a shelf. I purchased it to send to her prior owner (who named her). I also reread her "Chicken Soup for the Soul" story in the gift shop - it was a nice feeling. I also got a book about her grandsire, Nashua.

    Thanks again to everyone for your support. I know I'll be lurking around as we get closer to the first-year anniversary.
    In loving memory of Chutney (1977 - 2008)

  • #2
    "My" first anniversary will be December 4. I still look for my little white horse and know she's galloping free on the other side of the Bridge. Hugs you and all of us who are facing that first year without our best friends.

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    • #3
      (((Kim)))

      I know it's hard, I didn't really come up for air from losing my mare until the second year. I mean, you go on with life, but you just can get past it somehow, you know?

      I certainly understand about the cooler. I still have the stretched out halter my mare wore last (stretched because I had to "drag" her around the last day, sigh). I can't make myself throw that out either.

      Is there something special & ceremonial you can think of doing on the anniversary that might mark it for you? Seems corny to some outsiders, but this kind of thing helps, I think. I had my TB mares lip tattoo number put inside a heart on my chest (very small). It really helped get through that first anniversary night.

      Anyway, I sure understand, and hope it gets easier as time goes on (the hurt will never go away, but it will get easier to think of and accept)

      Hugs,
      Arcadien

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      • #4
        Hugs, and sending supportive vibes your way!

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        • #5
          I fully understand about the cooler thing.

          I have giant ziplocks/garbage bags sealed with all my previous dogs belongings. I feel weird about it but I just can't re-use their stuff on the next dog. Each dog has their own bag and sometimes I open them and look at their stuff for a reminder. The smell is hardest to take....instant floods of tears
          "look deep into his pedigree. Look for the name of a one-of-a-kind horse who lends to his kin a fierce tenacity, a will of iron, a look of eagles. Look & know that Slew is still very much with us."

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          • #6
            Hugs to all.
            www.specialhorses.org
            a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

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            • #7
              Kim, I was just thinking about you the other day - I'm so glad to hear that you're doing well, and I love that you and Grace are growing closer. Just remember that grief takes its own time. We'll all be here for you whenever you need us. (((hugs)))
              In memory of Rebuff (1974-2009)

              Rest in peace, my sweet man

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              • #8
                I totally understand not wanting to wash her cooler. My dog passed away 1 year ago this past July. I can't get myself to wash the back rear window of my car. It has her nose prints all over it.
                Kristen

                Kiwayu & Figiso Pictures:
                http://community.webshots.com/user/kiwayu

                Comment


                • #9
                  It's only been a week & a day since The Princess went, and I'm still finding long blonde hairs from her mane.

                  But little Panda-chan is doing his best to keep me distracted.

                  Please, if you would care to, read this thread and send me photos to include in the tribute. I have some heart-wrenchingly lovely ones, but nowhere near as many as there ought to be.

                  Hugs all around...
                  Approved helmet: Every time; every ride.
                  "When a sport gets to be predictable it ceases to be fun." - RAR's wise brother

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                  • #10
                    Kim -

                    Do send a picture of Miss Chutnety to RAR!

                    I just sent one of Skippy - his 5 year anniversary was on Wednesday.
                    I watched our old videos and only cried at the end but they were happy tears! So much fun from those days and though I miss him, Leo has suddenly stolen my heart (well, not suddenly, it has been 4 years of trying ) but I used an animal communicator a few months back and it has made all the difference. Never would have believed it! But now I do.
                    I just 'get' him now and he seems to 'get' me.

                    Anyway, 1 year is so hard but you are strong and you have a strong, sweet-smelling, warm horse to hold on to when it comes.

                    You'll be okay despite any sadness, Grace will help you though it.
                    ~* Be kind to one another *~

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I still haven't washed Bz blankets, I did give his black n grey rain sheet to a horse in real need, but didn't wash it before I passed it on.

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