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Just bummed...sad situation (long)

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  • #1

    Just bummed...sad situation (long)

    A friend of mine from my 4H days lost her father earlier this week. He had a sudden heart attack and was at home by himself, lost consciousness before he could call 911

    My friend was a few years younger than me, a couple years older than my youngest sister. We've all known each other since we were in middle school. Our parents still periodically had dinner together. She had moved to VA after college, taking her semi-retired OTTB with her. Eventually she acquired a project/rescue horse (paid mid-three figures to keep an OTTB mare from being sent to auction) and also became a part-time BM in addition to her day job.

    My parents were at the visitation yesterday (I would have been there except for the distance, did send flowers). My friend has decided to move back to Ohio, as her mom has health issues and is just not dealing well. Her company has agreed to allow her to telecommute (3 days in VA, rest of time in Ohio), so at least she still has a job while she looks for something in OH. The project horse has to be sold (which was always the plan just not quite so soon) and the older horse would be moved back to OH. Her parents have land, but no horses currently. She's very worried about how her older horse will adjust to being by himself plus she's be gone 3 days of the week. Ever since his days on the track 20 years ago, he's never been by himself. She asked my parents if it might be possible to pasture her horse with my retiree, and my mother had said we'd consider it and work out the details out once the horse is moved back to Ohio. Nothing definite has been worked out and any arrangement would be temporary until she gets settled.

    I always thought that in an ideal world, it would be nice for Missy to have a companion--but I never wanted it to happen like this! I've already recommended a shipping company I've had good experiences with and may suggest the COTH giveaway forum if the project horse doesn't sell. Unfortunately, the mare is a triple threat (chestnut TB mare)....apparently puppy dog personality and shows talent for dressage but you know how so many people won't look past the color and breed.

    I know this is long and rambling and there is nothing I or anyone else can do.....but I am just bummed. He was a good man, only 57. And my father has his own problems with heart disease (some of you may remember our scare last spring when we thought Dad might need by-pass surgery), so I keep thinking there but for the grace of God....

    Thanks for letting me vent,
    BES
    Proudly owned by 2 chestnut mares
    Crayola Posse: sea green
    Mighty Rehabbers Clique
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  • #2
    Sadly, it just goes to show that the unexpected often does happen.

    Funny, I was going to call last night, but the rain deluge was so hard I couldn't have heard you on the phone.
    www.specialhorses.org
    a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

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    • #3
      Jingles for yor friend and their family.

      Sudden deaths are hard. So sorry.
      “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker

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      • #4
        Unfortunately I know exactly what your friend is going through right now. My father-in-law passed away from a suspected heart attack in his sleep about an hour after he went to bed, the day they got back home from vacation. It has turned his family upside down. Make sure your friend takes some time to herself in all this, and if need be visits a counselor to work through things. My husband is really struggling with the death and luckily has therapy sessions through work. Now I just have to get him to make the appointment.

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        • #5
          Jingles for your friend and her family. My Dad just had his second heart attack this Sunday, so I can sure commiserate. He had his first at 56, we caught it just in time, and he was rushed in for a quad bypass. This time we were almost too late, it was a major one, but he is recovering and scheduled for a stent operation Monday. Won't be able to really relax until after the operation is done!

          56-57 is just way too young. I remember how scared I was then that we would lose him. It is still scary - my dad is 68 now but I'm still not ready to lose him!

          Give your friend a hug from me, and kudos for trying to find ways to help out, the little things people do really matter so much when one is in this kind of situation.

          Hugs,
          Arcadien

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