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Touchy situation Long.

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  • #1

    Touchy situation Long.

    I was posting this as an alter; but it relogged me in as me...sigh, not like it matters probably...

    In my town there is only 1 boarding facility. Several friends and students board their horses there. Well, increasingly over the last few months the "ranch" owners have become strange regarding to me. Originally I was only at the property to visit my friends and their horses. Then I made arrangements to ride in their arena until mine was built; I signed all their papers, offered to pay an arena fee(the said no need), and gave them enough of my insurance info to know I was covered by my own policy.

    Then some of my students moved their horses to this "ranch" and I consulted with the owners and continued working with these people who had horses that were too much for them but wouldn't listen which led to me dropping them, as I refused to be held responsible for them being injured when they wouldn't listen to me. But since then I had picked up several other students there.

    Then the owners began acting offended when I was with my students (I never set foot on the property without the horse owner present) and working with them. They started telling my students that I was going to ruin their horses, that they didn't need any lessons from me just to "look pretty". My students all smiled politely and said thank you but they like their lessons. Well after they refused to dump me the owners began telling my students and others that I am not insured when they know very well that I am, as do all my students. When this tactic did not work they then issued out a letter (but only to my friends and students who board there) saying there are to be NO TRAINERS on their property as their insurance won't allow it, unless HOWEVER it was from this specific list of trainers whom are getting out of the business and not taking clients.

    Ok, so very well then; not a problem, I now have my own arena built and my students are willing to haul to me. One in particular does not have a truck and trailer at this time and seeing as her lesson days coincide with days I haul my horses out to trails and it is not out of my way I agreed to haul her. So to be sure as to not cause any more issues I drive my trailer to the ranch; my student is already there, loads her horse, hops in my truck and away we go and in reverse upon our return with me never leaving the truck. I have even stopped going to the ranch with my friends to help them feed and clean stalls (ranch is self care only; keep this in mind for later).

    Now, they are claiming that I am still training on their property in secret; difficult to do when the arena is beside the driveway and the rode. The students I dropped are accusing myself and/or my students of messing with their tack trunks, running them over in fact (everything is out of doors) mean while I was on the other side of the country upon this occurrence. And telling my friends and students they have all of this dirt on me and how horrible I am, but they say they don't want to gossip and so they won't say what it is; all after accusing me of these things.

    My friends and students are one by one leaving the ranch and finding other boarding situations; be it renting a house with property or begging friends with property. Now, them leaving was in motion before these things occurred due to many many issues such as:

    3 cases of "summer sores" "bots" whatever; due to them NEVER disposing their manure.

    Burying a pallet (ya wood and nails and all) at the gate of a very expensive WB mare where she pawed a hole in her stall to "stop her from digging" (I was standing there when the owner found it and started digging it up and approached the BO about and that was his defense)

    No (as in other than the riding arena) turn out what so ever.

    Horses found sprayed with a hose (remember total full care, these people don't even fill water bucket) when no one should be near the horses.

    Owners not called when horses are seen colicing.

    And each time a boarder approaches the BO about a problem they are berated and told if they don't like it they can leave.

    Basically if you don't join their little the BO can do no wrong cult they get nasty. And so these boarders have decided very well they will leave.

    So, this evening one student gives them a letter of her intent to vacate by the first and speaks to them in person simply saying "I have decided to move my mare." they asked her why and she just said "I have just found a situation that is better for me." Immediately they accuse her of moving her mare to My place which she is not! My place is for my horses only, no room for boarders. She told them, "No, I have a friend whose horse needs a pasture mate". Pretty much the truth but she is sure they don't believe her.

    Another friend is in the process of making a lease arrangement for property to move her horse to.

    My great concern is what these people will do next. I have informed my students I can no longer even pick horses up for them at the ranch. I don't trust these people to drop any of this even after the students and friends are not there. I am sure they probably think I am taking their business or something. I have been nothing but nice to them, I have tried ignoring the BS and just smile and go with the flow, So WHAT is wrong with these people!?!? I just don't know what to do beyond what I already have and am concerned if they keep this up it will affect my ability to get students in the future.

    Any thoughts, advice etc. Please. Sorry this is so long, but this is even the readers digest version.

    Perhaps I just needed to vent....
    “Four things greater than all things are, - Women and Horses and Power and War”
    Tags: None
  • #2
    These BO's are already a known quantity - their boarders are leaving them, right? Anything they do or say will be seen for what it is.

    Every community has its cranks. Looks like you've found yours.

    The worst thing you could do to yourself is be noticeably worried about them, or defensive in any way. As best you possibly can, in public pretend they don't exist. If gossip-mongers press you about them just say you don't have any business with them and have nothing to say, something like that. Encourage your students who are ex-boarders not to go on about them when you're around

    It doesn't sound like you did anything incorrectly, but ... Don't go anywhere near their property any more. If that inconveniences any of your students, they will have to work it out on their own. Even if they are high & dry for awhile.

    Of course these people's odd behavior bothers you, but one more thing you could do for yourself is to school yourself to think of anything else. Energy wasted on them is just that, energy wasted. You have better and more fun things to do. Encourage your students with "psd" from them to do the same. (You can vent here and/or with one absolutely confidential friend over a pitcher of margaritas. )

    This too will blow away in time. Enjoy your students and your life with horses!

    Comment

    • #3
      oh and p.s., don't try and figure out why these cranks are cranks. You will never get them, because you aren't a crank. Be glad of that, and of all the people around you who do make life worth living.

      Comment

      • Original Poster
        #4
        Tnx OverandOnward; I know you are right. It is just that a few of these things came to a head this evening and it is SO irritating! I never discuss them; I just listen to what I am told. I have (as you advised) already requested my friends and students to do the same.

        I do know that those you know me will defend me if they feel it neccesary, my students are loyal and grateful (and I so appreciate that). But, perhaps it is just feeling this is all undeserved is why it has gotten under my skin so badly.

        But you are right; I will not go NEAR the place again and I will whip up that pitcher of Maragritas tomorrow night!
        “Four things greater than all things are, - Women and Horses and Power and War”

        Comment

        • #5
          I agree, do not acknowledge them or what they say in anyway. I would imagine that most people do not listen to them anyway, and with you not reacting, they will lose interest.

          Comment

          • #6
            There are some people in this world that simply get pissy anytime they see anyone else in the same work field being liked or appreciated. Sounds like those BOs fall in that category.

            Comment

            • #7
              Hum, I've got to wonder if this isn't one of those situations where it would be such a different story if we heard the BO side of the tale. At any rate, yes, I think you've been given enough clues that you are not welcome at their farm.
              Just go about your business and keep your comments positive.

              I do have to say that you have got much bigger balls than I do to go to their property and pick up your student after they gave you so many blatant signals that you were not welcome there.

              It's unfortuate that you didn't address the conflict with them sooner than now. Seems like it has gone beyond the point of patching up differences.

              Comment

              • Original Poster
                #8
                Sigh; ACK!!

                So, the plot thickens!! *eye roll* before I share the new information I will share my additional plans on the matter! I am going to contact the city to let them know that if anyone inquires about my business license to go ahead give them the info. I am also going to contact a lawyer and discuss the situation so that should they try to play and games or go the slander route I am already on the ball. If I don't need my lawyer, no loss to me, but should I at least I am prepared.

                And onto the new stuff. Friend (the serious confidont) comes by my place this morning to ask how I have decided to handle the situation and let me know what they had to say this morning while she was feeding. She said that it took everything she had not to laugh at them and was in near tears from laughing as she told me.....


                They have created a Bio for me!!! Ok; who I really am: 31 years old from southern PA, studied EQ at Lake Erie College and moved her Tnx to the Marine Corps and who knows how long I will be here as it's the Marine Corps call.

                Now, here is what they were telling my friend they "found out about me" LMAO!! Apparently I am only about 20 year old (granted, I do look young) and I graduated from the local highschool and just recently started riding and claiming to know about horses....

                Of course my friend decides to tell me this as i am taking a nice big swig of coffee; let's just say the gray Arab has and interesting stain on him now. So, this is now becoming VERY amusing; but I am still going to keep my bases coverd. My poor friend is just trying so hard to get her property set up to move her horses and avoid the BO, it is just so unfair to her that she can't even go enjoy her boys with out being harassed.

                And as for why they are so interested in me...wow, it is sad, I am about the most boring person EVER! Heck, by the time I collect lesson fees I've just paid my hay bill!
                “Four things greater than all things are, - Women and Horses and Power and War”

                Comment

                • #9
                  Originally posted by OverandOnward View Post
                  These BO's are already a known quantity - their boarders are leaving them, right? Anything they do or say will be seen for what it is.

                  Every community has its cranks. Looks like you've found yours.

                  The worst thing you could do to yourself is be noticeably worried about them, or defensive in any way. As best you possibly can, in public pretend they don't exist. If gossip-mongers press you about them just say you don't have any business with them and have nothing to say, something like that. Encourage your students who are ex-boarders not to go on about them when you're around

                  It doesn't sound like you did anything incorrectly, but ... Don't go anywhere near their property any more. If that inconveniences any of your students, they will have to work it out on their own. Even if they are high & dry for awhile.

                  Of course these people's odd behavior bothers you, but one more thing you could do for yourself is to school yourself to think of anything else. Energy wasted on them is just that, energy wasted. You have better and more fun things to do. Encourage your students with "psd" from them to do the same. (You can vent here and/or with one absolutely confidential friend over a pitcher of margaritas. )

                  This too will blow away in time. Enjoy your students and your life with horses!
                  GREAT POST!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    OP is a marine? Well heck, you can take care of yourself!
                    Are you in SC or NC?

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster
                      #11
                      LOL, you would think they would figure that out! we are actualy in SoCal. I am glad we arn't in SC or NC; Grew up in the humidity and don't miss it!
                      “Four things greater than all things are, - Women and Horses and Power and War”

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Wow, OP.

                        You sound like you are on it, with how to handle it. They sound like real..."interesting" folks.

                        Just keep your head down and mouth shut, as you are doing. And at 20 yrs old, you really shouldn't be drinking coffee. It might stunt your growth...
                        "Aye God, Woodrow..."

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster
                          #13
                          LOL, guess I'll need to drop the cigarettes too.

                          My husband is thrilled that he is apparently married to a much younger woman now!!

                          Seriously it is good to hear I'm on the right track sometimes ya wonder.
                          “Four things greater than all things are, - Women and Horses and Power and War”

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            I don't understand why you would go back to that property? I also don't understand why your students are filling you in on all the gossip.

                            I would avoid the place completely, including talking about them or listening to people talk to you about them. Forget them and move on.
                            https://www.youtube.com/user/jealoushe

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Why do you care what they think of you? Stay out of their way, keep your mouth shut, and if you run into them on the street smile, say "hello," and keep going. Do you really think the neighborhood doesn't know what kind of people they are? You will do more for your reputation by keeping silent and acting like a professional. Unfortunately your students will have to fend for themselves until they can find a better solution.

                              Dr. Laura says all that is required is pleasant and polite. They are on their way to self-destructing. Don't let them take you down with them.

                              Comment

                              • #16
                                Rule number one: Horse people are crazy.
                                Rule number two: If you don't know any crazy horse people, it's you.

                                Ignore them. Do your own thing.
                                A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                                Might be a reason, never an excuse...

                                Comment

                                • Original Poster
                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by BuddyRoo View Post
                                  Rule number one: Horse people are crazy.
                                  Rule number two: If you don't know any crazy horse people, it's you.

                                  Ignore them. Do your own thing.
                                  LMAO!!! Can we get that put on a T-Shirt?
                                  “Four things greater than all things are, - Women and Horses and Power and War”

                                  Comment

                                  • #18
                                    Forget the lawyer. These people could not be working harder at making public asses of themselves. (Can you call people "asses" on COTH?)

                                    You've already pointed out the most important points - their boarders are leaving, and people who know you are laughing at them. And telling you what they are up to.

                                    As others in this thread are advising ... do not get into it with them, let your reputation and your students do the talking for you. (Do find a quiet way to make sure your students know your accurate bio.) Anything you do to add drama to drama will make it worse for you - that's when public opinion may start to wonder if you are as wacky as these other people. It's hard, but (based only on what you've said here) imo you have to stay hands off.

                                    If they keep it up these people will destroy themselves in the eyes of the local horse community. Let them.

                                    Comment

                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by ddashaq
                                      I agree, do not acknowledge them or what they say in anyway. I would imagine that most people do not listen to them anyway, and with you not reacting, they will lose interest.
                                      yeah that!

                                      Originally posted by Saidapal
                                      Why do you care what they think of you? Stay out of their way, keep your mouth shut, and if you run into them on the street smile, say "hello," and keep going. Do you really think the neighborhood doesn't know what kind of people they are? You will do more for your reputation by keeping silent and acting like a professional. Unfortunately your students will have to fend for themselves until they can find a better solution.

                                      Dr. Laura says all that is required is pleasant and polite. They are on their way to self-destructing. Don't let them take you down with them.
                                      and that!

                                      and I second a lot more of these posts ...

                                      Comment

                                      • Original Poster
                                        #20
                                        I am TOTALY in agreement with you all; the lawyer is JUUUSST in case. I get free legal help (ty USMC) and I have a CYA policy, if I have every thing squared away and don't need to use legal help I'm not out anything; but should it come to that I will at least be prepared. I by NO MEANS will let them know I am unless they make it neccesary.

                                        I told my student who is leaving this week we will need to figure out another option to getting her mare outta there opposed to me picking her up so my rig isn't on their place. Her solution since I live around the block from the "ranch" (around the block in desert terms; those who know desert cities will understand) is to just mount up and ride away and over to my place to the trailer LOL. She already gave them written and verbal notice she is moving and thinks it will be hysterical when she saddles up for a trail ride and never comes back....I did snicker at the thought.
                                        “Four things greater than all things are, - Women and Horses and Power and War”

                                        Comment

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