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Most "interesting" things you've heard "Trainers" say

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  • Growing up I was only allowed to use organic/all natural fly sprays because we had fly predators and regular fly sprays would harm them.

    Last year I was fly spraying my horse, looked at my husband because the light bulb went off, any FLY spray would have killed them anyways. LMAO.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by blondmane View Post
      I have a boarder who once in awhile tells me things her former trainer told her, full of conviction:

      1. You only worm horses when there is a full moon
      2. You only do horse's teeth when it's cold out
      3. You don't ride a horse after it's had its feet trimmed

      WTF?
      It's actually more effective to deworm during a full moon, I can't remember why, but there IS a reason. I mean you can deworm anytime obviously.

      Comment


      • I had an instructor telling our lesson group to "stop posting like bunnies bumping." You can imagine we slowed our trots down after that.

        Also from a vet with regard to explosive diarrhea.... it is wen your horse can "shit through a screen door without getting wet."

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Kerrysmom818 View Post
          That was the norm for a long, long time - tube worming - spring and fall. Rotational worming every 6 weeks is relatively new becoming common practice in the last ten years or so?
          Ten? At least twenty around here.
          America dialed 911. Donald Trump answered the phone.

          Stop pumping money into colleges and start getting ready to earn money in the projected tradesman shortage of 2024. Make Trades Great Again!

          Comment


          • From my (then) trainer, "You can never hold him too much." At that moment she became an ex-trainer.
            Born under a rock and owned by beasts!

            Comment


            • "You're just massaging the horse's tongue with the bit! You're not hurting him."

              Riiiight, sure, ex-instructor, sugarcoating see-sawing makes it so much more acceptable.

              At least I know better now than to blindly trust instruction. :P

              Comment


              • Not from a trainer, but a classic I LOVE to tell.

                Friend of mine has another backyard barn owned by her friend in the neighborhood. The woman is a little, er, drifty.

                The following conversation actually happened.

                Friend receives a phone call during the day from panicked neighbor.

                "Hi, Gertrude. It's Lucy." (Lucy is the panicked neighbor).

                "Hi Lucy. What's up?"

                "I'm really upset. Have you seen X?" Gertrude is confused.

                "No, Lucy. What do you mean?"

                "Well, my husband dragged my ring for me, and I told him to make sure to pick up the dressage letters so none get run over by the drag." (Lucy has the step-in metal letters).

                "Yes?" says Gertrude.

                "Well, I went back out and put the letters up when he was done. But X is gone."

                Gertrude is a little puzzled.

                "X is gone?" she asks.

                "YES! My husband swore up and down that he left all the letters in a corner of the ring, but when I put them all up, X was NOT there! I think someone stole my X." Lucy exclaims.

                Gertrude, covering the mouthpiece of the phone, is hysterical.

                "Um, Lucy...X is the center of the ring. It's...invisible."

                Lucy gets quiet.

                "oh my god." she says. Hangs up.

                This story is a legend in my parts. Imagine Lucy, positively CERTAIN that someone came and swiped her X after the husband dragged the ring.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by catknsn View Post
                  Well, back in the days when I was taught to ride, outside rein to get the lead was the standard procedure!

                  But I still marvel at the fact that the barn where I rode as a child came out with pronouncements like "horses only need to be wormed every six months." Lord. How those school horses stayed alive, I will never know.
                  Yeah, a number of my school horses only pick up the lead with an outside-outside aid; I am always concerned that a student of mine will think that's the only way; I make sure to tell them that other horses pick it up differently (and in truth, I have some of those horses, too)

                  Comment


                  • There was a self proclaimed "big trainer" at a barn I boarded at.


                    She used to come and "have a little chitty chat" with me about random things I was "doing wrong" with my horses. All of it left me staring after her with one eyeball hanging from its socket and drool coming out of my mouth with facial ticks...

                    One day, I saw her riding and decided to pay it forward. She was posting on the wrong diagonal. I told her that it looks to me like she's on the wrong diagonal. I was promptly and strictly informed that its how they do it in Europe.

                    I said "Im not sure if you noticed, but were in the Pacific Northwest. Later on, she heard from one of my friends there that I was working for a German dressage trainer and she followed me like a lost puppy after that. *rolls eyes*
                    Originally posted by dizzywriter
                    My saddle fits perfectly well. It might be a little tight around the waist, but I take care of that with those spandex things.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Invested1 View Post
                      2. The horse must be ridden from front to back.
                      I ride all my horses front to back I don't know what your talking about .
                      First it starts like this http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jjSfMtUlo0.../thelwell2.jpg

                      Then we jump
                      http://www.freewebs.com/centralhorse...G_400_O7OK.jpg

                      And the day normally ends like this
                      http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eClk-KDlPP...ll+-+Heel!.gif

                      Front to back ...very simple really.
                      "I would not beleive her if her tongue came notorized"

                      Comment


                      • One of the trainers at the barn where my friend used to board was WP jog-shuffling around on her (to my eye, lame) horse in the outdoor, a student asked how she taught him that, and she answered that he'd been trained when she bought him, "and you know, of course, that this is the same as really advanced dressage, like piaffe or passage. It's the highest level of collection!"

                        It's good that I wasn't drinking anything at the time.
                        Last edited by octoberine; Feb. 20, 2013, 01:37 PM. Reason: Extra word deleted!

                        Comment


                        • A riding camp "instructor" about 20 + years ago to my 8 yr-old self: "when a horse rears [mind you, no horses were rearing, so who know where this came from] you must sit up and yank the reins back as hard you can."



                          Back then, I had no idea. Thank God I never had to use her "advice" before learning the CORRECT way to deal with a rear.
                          Barn rat for life

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by LittleblackMorgan View Post
                            Not from a trainer, but a classic I LOVE to tell.

                            Friend of mine has another backyard barn owned by her friend in the neighborhood. The woman is a little, er, drifty.

                            The following conversation actually happened.

                            Friend receives a phone call during the day from panicked neighbor.

                            "Hi, Gertrude. It's Lucy." (Lucy is the panicked neighbor).

                            "Hi Lucy. What's up?"

                            "I'm really upset. Have you seen X?" Gertrude is confused.

                            "No, Lucy. What do you mean?"

                            "Well, my husband dragged my ring for me, and I told him to make sure to pick up the dressage letters so none get run over by the drag." (Lucy has the step-in metal letters).

                            "Yes?" says Gertrude.

                            "Well, I went back out and put the letters up when he was done. But X is gone."

                            Gertrude is a little puzzled.

                            "X is gone?" she asks.

                            "YES! My husband swore up and down that he left all the letters in a corner of the ring, but when I put them all up, X was NOT there! I think someone stole my X." Lucy exclaims.

                            Gertrude, covering the mouthpiece of the phone, is hysterical.

                            "Um, Lucy...X is the center of the ring. It's...invisible."

                            Lucy gets quiet.

                            "oh my god." she says. Hangs up.

                            This story is a legend in my parts. Imagine Lucy, positively CERTAIN that someone came and swiped her X after the husband dragged the ring.
                            Bwahahahahahaha
                            <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

                            Comment


                            • OMG guys, I need a new keyboard after the "lost X" story!

                              After watching FEI level trainer bully my horse around the ring for 15 minutes (during a lesson which I was supposed to be riding, mind you) trainer stops horse, gets off and tells me this:

                              "Now you get on and feel what I've done before you ruin it".

                              I'm humble about my riding ability (or lack thereof), I really am, but that was not constructive criticism at all. The only thing I learned from that lesson was that I didn't want to take lessons there anymore!

                              We've been clinic hoppers ever since.
                              http://www.foxhuntingfriesian.blogspot.com
                              http://www.isherwoodstudios.blogspot.com

                              Comment


                              • Last year, I was out at the barn and had the dubious pleasure of listening to the following gem from a guy who I think fancied he knew everything about horses to the wife of the guy he'd hauled out there:

                                Him: (gesturing to a longtime boarder hosing her horse) "Look at that. She shouldn't do that."

                                Her: "Do what?"

                                Him: "Hose her horse like that. You should never start hosing on the back."

                                Her: "No? Why not?"

                                Him: "Because the horse will founder! You have to start at the feet because the cold water will push the heat up the horse's legs and into their back, and it evaporates from there. If you start at the back, all the heat gets pushed down into their legs and gets trapped in their feet, and they founder."

                                Her: "Really?"

                                Him: "Yes! And that's why you only ever see horses in ponds up to their sides. They leave their backs out so the heat has somewhere to go."

                                They then went on to discuss the person they'd hauled in and his beautiful half-draft filly, who at that point were doing an amazing job of being terrifyingly bad at free-lunging.

                                I did not hurt anything laughing.

                                Barely.

                                Comment


                                • Originally posted by emeraldsilver View Post
                                  Last year, I was out at the barn and had the dubious pleasure of listening to the following gem from a guy who I think fancied he knew everything about horses to the wife of the guy he'd hauled out there:

                                  Him: (gesturing to a longtime boarder hosing her horse) "Look at that. She shouldn't do that."

                                  Her: "Do what?"

                                  Him: "Hose her horse like that. You should never start hosing on the back."

                                  Her: "No? Why not?"

                                  Him: "Because the horse will founder! You have to start at the feet because the cold water will push the heat up the horse's legs and into their back, and it evaporates from there. If you start at the back, all the heat gets pushed down into their legs and gets trapped in their feet, and they founder."

                                  Her: "Really?"

                                  Him: "Yes! And that's why you only ever see horses in ponds up to their sides. They leave their backs out so the heat has somewhere to go."

                                  They then went on to discuss the person they'd hauled in and his beautiful half-draft filly, who at that point were doing an amazing job of being terrifyingly bad at free-lunging.

                                  I did not hurt anything laughing.

                                  Barely.
                                  Head * Desk - repeat.

                                  You could use the script from the State Farm "app" commercial.

                                  "Where'd you hear that?"

                                  "The internet."

                                  "And you believed it?"

                                  "Yeah, they can't put anything on the internet that isn't true."

                                  "Where did you hear that?!"

                                  All together now: "The internet."

                                  <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

                                  Comment


                                  • ^ Jesus.

                                    Thermodynamics much?

                                    Additionally, pond physics?
                                    The water is on the bottom (due to gravity).
                                    The horse can only go in as deep as the pond floor is (due to the equal and opposite reaction of pond floor to horse legs).

                                    And since there are no ponds (to my knowledge) where the air is on the bottom and the water is on the top, his legs go underwater before his back.
                                    Last edited by meupatdoes; Feb. 20, 2013, 03:40 PM.
                                    The Noodlehttp://tiny.cc/NGKmT&http://tiny.cc/gioSA
                                    Jinxyhttp://tiny.cc/PIC798&http://tiny.cc/jinx364
                                    Boy Wonderhttp://tiny.cc/G9290
                                    The Hana is nuts! NUTS!!http://tinyurl.com/SOCRAZY

                                    Comment


                                    • The latest jaw-dropper I've encountered... Local "trainer" who, if she can't be home from work in time to teach a kiddo up-downer lesson, has her (non-horsey) husband "teach" the lesson in her place. (In case you're wondering, he's "qualified" insofar as he knows how to pick a stall and drive the tractor, that's about it. I think he's probably sat on a horse less than 20 times in his entire life.)

                                      Seriously, that would be like me walking into my husband's Electrician class (he teaches @ a local community college) and saying, "hi, my hubby's sick today, so I'll be teaching your class!! Just don't ask me any questions because about the only thing electrical I know how to do is to plug something into the wall!!"

                                      Apparently if your clientele consists of children of completely non-horsey parents, you can get away with this sort of thing............
                                      *friend of bar.ka

                                      "Evidently, I am an unrepentant b*tch, possible trouble maker, and all around super villian"

                                      Comment


                                      • Originally posted by ChocoMare View Post
                                        Head * Desk - repeat.

                                        You could use the script from the State Farm "app" commercial.

                                        "Where'd you hear that?"

                                        "The internet."

                                        "And you believed it?"

                                        "Yeah, they can't put anything on the internet that isn't true."

                                        "Where did you hear that?!"

                                        All together now: "The internet."

                                        You laugh....but way back, before the internet, when I was growing up, I heard this particular bit of "wisdom" repeated by all the horse people I knew. Some of whom were involved in Pony Club, some were cowboy types, and even our equine vet.

                                        Comment


                                        • Originally posted by x View Post
                                          Yeah, a number of my school horses only pick up the lead with an outside-outside aid; I am always concerned that a student of mine will think that's the only way; I make sure to tell them that other horses pick it up differently (and in truth, I have some of those horses, too)
                                          I was taught this (saddle seat eq) as cue to canter. Outside rein, outside leg. These days I wonder where it came from.

                                          Comment

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