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Most "interesting" things you've heard "Trainers" say

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  • #61
    Originally posted by 3eme View Post
    He would say "you look like a frog on a box of matches" (huhwhat?)
    Ok, that made me laugh out loud in my school's strictly-no-talking library. How would you say that in french?
    The only thing I've learned in college is what I don't want to do with my life.

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    • #62
      Originally posted by ThisTooShallPass View Post
      Would have served the lady right had you told her they used one of those Culligan water bottles...But then she probably would have asked how they got him out of it.
      Hello- C Section! Duh...

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      • #63
        I had a dressage trainer for a while who told me to f*** the saddle in the canter. She also told me to "bear down with my abdominal muscles like I am taking a crap" to get a solid halt at X. Still today, I cannot get that out of my head when I am schooling halts.

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        • #64
          Gotta comment on the "Breathe" comment. I have one student who always came out of the arena shaking and beet red like she was ready to pass out. I thought it was nerves for a long time until I realized that she was doing her ENTIRE course while holding her breath. No wonder she was ready to pass out at every round! It actually took me reminding her in "sign" language to breathe during her rounds.

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          • #65
            Originally Posted by ThisTooShallPass
            Would have served the lady right had you told her they used one of those Culligan water bottles...But then she probably would have asked how they got him out of it.



            Originally posted by archieflies View Post
            Hello- C Section! Duh...

            Hysterical! Where were you two when I needed you!!

            Another one---when I became a re-rider, my "instructor" (I use the term loosely) wouldn't let me use two-point except on the flat. For jumping, I was to rely exclusively on the only method she would allow: a full-out, flat-on-the-neck jump position, even over ground poles and cross rails. So I would dutifully lay my 5'10" torso all the way down on my horse's neck, and then bulge a disc or two trying to fight gravity (and middle age) on the way back up. I looked like one of those glass birds that have their butts filled with fluid that drop into the water glass over and over again. The poor horse must have hated it even more than I did.

            She's also the instructor who, when I won an eq class on the flat, told me that another person in the class was a better rider and would have won if she just hadn't ridden around on the wrong diagonal most of the time. Excuse me, but if she can't get her diagonal right, what makes her a better rider???? And can't you just say "good job" and let me enjoy my pretty little blue ribbon?

            I like logical people---they provide a nice contrast to the real world.

            Comment


            • #66
              Is it sad that I've also heard some of these?
              I've heard someone say that a horse snorting/sighing is a sign of submission. Well, not really sure--never asked the horse myself
              I've also had a dressage coach/teacher say to f** the saddle or it's like f**ing the saddle when you do dressage. Um, yah, nice way to articulate something. Even if I was 21, I still don't think that's a viable training comment.

              Now, in defense of the breathing--like someone else, I have riders who do NOT breathe on course. They hold their breath and nearly pass out. So, yes, you have to encorperate breathing with riding or they'll pass out

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              • #67
                Along the lines of boozies and knockers, I had an instructor who, with students who tended to round their shoulders or slouch, would make them say "Dolly Parton! Dolly Parton!" As they rode down to a line. Hey, it worked.

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                • #68
                  I HATE the "stick your boobies/butt out line". I don't care if the horse show world is female dominated, it just lacks...class? Tact? I don't know. Plus, I work with so many Christian children, I can't imagine what their parents would think if I said that. Not meaning anything badly against the fact they are Christian, I'm not religious, so I try to be respectful. And yelling to a 13 YO girl "stick out your boobies" in front of her father just seems wrong. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

                  Two dumbest things ever said to me by a former trainer:

                  1) A horse in my horse's pasture had been digging a hole all day long. Same spot. I reported it to the BO (her horse), and her response was "Oh, he's just being stupid!" Um, all day long digging isn't stupid, something is wrong. He died that night next to the hole. Who was stupid?

                  2) Same trainer, MY horse. I had given my guy a week off after a hard event (and halved his food). The following week I slowly had his feed increased slowly, and also started some light work. Two weeks to the day from that event I was riding him and he was moving shorter and shorter. Finally he was mimicking a 1300 lb inchworm! Trainer said, "Oh, he's just being stupid! Don't call the GD vet on that GD horse! Don't waste their time!" I called anyway, and the vet was stumped. Couldn't tell if it was founder or tying up. We hot-dosed him with meds, and he felt better. Moved after that.
                  RIP Bo, the real Appassionato
                  5/5/84-7/12/08

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                  • Original Poster

                    #69
                    Forgot to mention the new "training" technique some have seen this "trainer" do. You know the old "hold the crop behind your back to keep your elbows back" trick? Well, she has the concept right but she uses bungee cords and ties them ON TOP of the students arms and around their backs. Would hate to see what happens if one of those kids gets tossed.....
                    Amwrider: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their genitalia and may their arms be too short to scratch.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by MeredithTX View Post
                      I had a dressage trainer for a while who told me to f*** the saddle in the canter. She also told me to "bear down with my abdominal muscles like I am taking a crap" to get a solid halt at X. Still today, I cannot get that out of my head when I am schooling halts.
                      A fellow ** rider that taught lessons used to tell her dressage lessonees that if your privates aren't hurting, you aren't riding correctly.

                      Sorry, dressage can be a workout, but not to that kind of pain!
                      RIP Bo, the real Appassionato
                      5/5/84-7/12/08

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Originally posted by snaffle635 View Post
                        I usually start riding from the ears. I find if I hold 'em just right, they're really good for steering.
                        ROFLMAO....... So that's what I'm doing wrong..... dang it.

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                        • #72
                          I think (hope?) teaching and training has changed since my childhood experiences in the late 60's/early 70's. My first ever riding teacher was a courtly Hungarian gentleman who never had a harsh word. "Aaah, not the best, not the best," he would say as I struggled to learn some new skill and absorb his lessons.

                          "Eeeempossible!" was as close to exasperation as he ever got.

                          Arnold's admonitions to "Be proud our boozies", usually got the opposite result from what he wanted. Young developing girls were more likely to round their shoulders and "hide" the "boozies". In those days, in my crowd, anyway. Certainly it reinforced my round-shouldered tendencies rather than stop them. It bothered me, his verbiage. In spite of that, however, he was an effective and successful trainer of riders in those primitive days. We stuck with him, but the smart moms never let their girls out of their sight at Arnold's barn!

                          Arnold also enjoyed mimicking pelvic movements for the riding classes. This was also incredibly embarrassing for us kids. I think the old perv did it just to observe our embarrassment!

                          I learned much from Arnold -- including what is NOT appropriate behavior and language for riding teachers!

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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by LE View Post
                            I've also had a dressage coach/teacher say to f** the saddle or it's like f**ing the saddle when you do dressage. Um, yah, nice way to articulate something. Even if I was 21, I still don't think that's a viable training comment.
                            Plus what kind of sex do they mean, anyway? Married? Having an affair? Age 17 in the back of a car? Clinton in the Oval Office?

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              bip! OMG! ROTFLMAO! Funny because that's exactly a comment I would make today at such a ludicrous comment! My event coach had a much better way of describe usage of seat. She would say 'imagine rolling an egg under your seat, back and forth, and not wanting to crack it." Of course, the silly smart a$$ I was, I said 'please tell me this imaginary egg is hardboiled?" Got the message across though to use your seat and softly.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Oooh yes. I vividly remember my (14, 15?) year old instructor screeching across the arena at my quiet and shy 13 year old self to "pretend you're b**ling" as I cantered, embarrassing me half to death and creating a lot of sniggering from the railbirds, that of course made its way to school.

                                Yep, there are ways, and then there are NOT.
                                Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
                                Incredible Invisible

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                                • Original Poster

                                  #76
                                  Originally posted by ReSomething View Post
                                  "pretend you're b**ling"
                                  Ok perhaps my mind is not *as* in the gutter as it usually is---I don't know what that word is supposed to be!!
                                  Amwrider: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their genitalia and may their arms be too short to scratch.

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                                  • #77
                                    Originally posted by Invested1 View Post
                                    Ok perhaps my mind is not *as* in the gutter as it usually is---I don't know what that word is supposed to be!!
                                    B*lling. Better? I dare not put that one last letter in there!
                                    Homeopathy claims water can cure you since it once held medicine. That's like saying you can get sustenance from an empty plate because it once held food.

                                    Comment


                                    • #78
                                      Along the lines of boozies and knockers, I had an instructor who, with students who tended to round their shoulders or slouch, would make them say "Dolly Parton! Dolly Parton!" As they rode down to a line. Hey, it worked.
                                      That strikes me as a much more polite way to holler across the show grounds, "STICK YOUR TITS OUT!"
                                      "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep." - Harry Dresden

                                      Amy's Stuff - Rustic chic and country linens and decor
                                      Support my mom! She's gotta finance her retirement horse somehow.

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                                      • Original Poster

                                        #79
                                        Originally posted by Renn/aissance View Post
                                        That strikes me as a much more polite way to holler across the show grounds, "STICK YOUR TITS OUT!"
                                        NOT NICE--I'm eating lunch!!! How would you like chicken corn chowder to come out YOUR nose???
                                        Amwrider: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their genitalia and may their arms be too short to scratch.

                                        Comment


                                        • #80
                                          Sorry Invested1, anybody else, very old slang for the F word.
                                          Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
                                          Incredible Invisible

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