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Most "interesting" things you've heard "Trainers" say

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  • Original Poster

    #21
    Lulabelle, your post reminded me of another one for this "trainer."

    Kid was in the indoor and thought the horse had taken off with her (he didn't--he was just having a happy canter). Kid starts crying and getting scared. Does the trainer say, "relax" or "sit back" or "ask him to trot"? No, she stands in the MIDDLE of the ring and yells, "LOOK AT ME!!" ACK, NO!! There were 3 of us standing watching and we all gasped and said, "NO! Don't look at her!" as the trainer was now over the kid's right shoulder and even those with the best balance would've lost it....
    Amwrider: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their genitalia and may their arms be too short to scratch.

    Comment


    • #22
      Not a trainer, but a BO who thought he knew it all....the indoor was cold, so he went out and bought a heater that shot FLAMES up out of it, and put it in the CENTER of the ring. Oh yeah, the horses just really loved that one. He also refused to give the horses two buckets of water because "it's common knowledge they only drink from one at a time." Well duh, they don't have two mouths, but they still need more water and since you only check the buckets once a day....

      Of course, this is the same guy whose wife, when she found out my son was a "test-tube baby", said--"how did they find test-tubes big enough to hold him for nine whole months?"

      I like logical people---they provide a nice contrast to the real world.

      Comment


      • #23
        So....if we all lose weight we can get more suspension??? Is that IT??? Wow...I wish I had know this years ago! WTF??? Some of these had me laughing, and I wish I could think of some b/c I have really heard a lot of these!
        Let go & enjoy the ride!!!!

        https://www.facebook.com/Trachorses

        Comment


        • #24
          I was working for a BNT many years ago and someone was having a lesson while I was tacking up..... This very loud direction came from the arena...... "More Forward, More Forward, More Forward..... AHhhhh Honey your running him off his feet"
          I about peed my pants I laughed so hard!
          "The well being of a horse should never be compromised for the ego of a human" dlg 06

          http://qualitytack4sale.webs.com/

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          • #25
            This is something I have heard many times.

            "Lunge him at a run that way he will be quite when you get on."

            "If you kick him really hard he will go forward."
            My life motto now is "You can't fix stupid!"

            Are you going to cowboy up, or lie there and bleed

            Comment


            • #26
              we had a wp/4-h trainer at my barn who was actually quite successful (i think) and whose students did well at the shows.

              i don't know how bad this advice is (for wp) but i swore i could have tape recorded one lesson and given it to all of the other students on repeat for a lot less money than they were giving her:

              kick his head down!
              not so fast! pull back!
              now kick his head down!
              he's speeding up, pull back!
              now kick his head down!
              slower, slower..
              look where his head is! kick it DOWN!

              Comment


              • #27
                Had a "trainer" tell me the reason I was having "trouble" with my mare was because I "spoiled" her by letting her graze on grass. It was her opinion that allowing horses to graze made them lazy. Then I had to try to explain that I wasn't having trouble, I was just taking it slow and easy with a 17 yr old mare who hadn't been ridden in 4 or 5 years. I was then told I just needed to take her on a "good all day trail ride" and "whip her into shape."

                A "trainer" a good friend knows told me that the "trainer" sat her down to have a talk about my friend having her colt gelded. The "trainer" very seriously told her she'd made a huge mistake as it's a waste of time and money to geld a colt before he's 3 years old because his testicles will just grow back!!!

                Comment


                • #28
                  Originally posted by VivaBaby View Post
                  \

                  A "trainer" a good friend knows told me that the "trainer" sat her down to have a talk about my friend having her colt gelded. The "trainer" very seriously told her she'd made a huge mistake as it's a waste of time and money to geld a colt before he's 3 years old because his testicles will just grow back!!!
                  Oh good, someone tell Alysheba so she can tell her friend

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    A trainer very dear to me yelled this upon coming to a jump (3'-3'6).

                    "Just run at it, babes!!!"
                    Thoroughbreds: classic

                    Turn. N. Burn.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      "Smack her with the whip everytime she grinds her teeth (and makes that awful noise); she'll stop.
                      *** 4 More Years ***
                      *** 4 More Years ***

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        From a long-time barn staffer (mucker) of a very large barn; "Hay is Hay" as I pointed out the moldy hay she was throwing the beast.
                        *** 4 More Years ***
                        *** 4 More Years ***

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                        • #32
                          kick his head down!
                          How does that work?

                          Originally Posted by VivaBaby
                          \

                          A "trainer" a good friend knows told me that the "trainer" sat her down to have a talk about my friend having her colt gelded. The "trainer" very seriously told her she'd made a huge mistake as it's a waste of time and money to geld a colt before he's 3 years old because his testicles will just grow back!!!


                          Oh good, someone tell Alysheba so she can tell her friend
                          OMG, I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything...
                          ---
                          They're small hearts.

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            Well this one always gets me:

                            "Breathe!"

                            Huh? Like if you don't remind the kid, they'll stop breathing? Really, you don't have something more constructive to offer?

                            But seriously, here's the most "interesting" thing I've heard a trainer say:
                            Last year I was in Ocala. I watched a very BNT give a morning lesson to his Equitation riders. Very interesting. I then followed him over to the Maclay ring to watch the class. I stood near enough to hear his comments to his riders. One (very good) rider went in and had a very minor "miss" to one jump. Like, not a really big deal. She came out and I sidled over to hear what he would tell her. You know what he said? I quote, "(Name), what you really need to focus on....... is not advertising that you're a COMPLETE beginner." I winced and sidled away. But to her credit, she nodded and said, "Yes sir."
                            http://patchworkfarmga.com

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              Back in Murphy's wild, bad boy days, I was told by my friend's "trainer" that the devil was using Murphy as his tool to get my soul.
                              Crayola Posse - Pine Green
                              Whinnie Pine (June 4, 1977 - April 29, 2008)
                              Autumn Caper (April 27, 1989 - May 24, 2015)
                              Murphy (April 28, 1994 - May 5, 2017)

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                A "trainer" a good friend knows told me that the "trainer" sat her down to have a talk about my friend having her colt gelded. The "trainer" very seriously told her she'd made a huge mistake as it's a waste of time and money to geld a colt before he's 3 years old because his testicles will just grow back!!!

                                After thinking WTF?????? I ROTF and LMAO

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  Oh good grief!

                                  Originally posted by VivaBaby View Post
                                  A "trainer" a good friend knows told me that the "trainer" sat her down to have a talk about my friend having her colt gelded. The "trainer" very seriously told her she'd made a huge mistake as it's a waste of time and money to geld a colt before he's 3 years old because his testicles will just grow back!!!
                                  I just realized my brain must have still been frozen from below freezing wind chills all day! The way I typed that is almost incoherent! And it's been quoted repeatedly! Waaaahhhh!

                                  Anyway, what I intended to say was my friend had her colt gelded and a "trainer" she knows sat her down and uttered that gem! I'll add that said "trainer" is 20-ish years old but really, truly believes that a colt's testicles can grow back if he's gelded too young. Truly frightening!

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    My friend asked me to video her in a lesson with her "BNT" dressage trainer. She was trying to get a piroutte out her gelding and the trainer shouts: "half halt! half halt! That means pull harder!" He then turns to me and goes "can you edit the audio out of that? It won't be good for my business." The sad part was he was completly serious..
                                    Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and not how he died that distinguish one man from another. Ernest Hemingway

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      She must watch too much TV... Hello, the phrase "grow a pair" is just a touch sarcastic...

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Originally posted by Jsalem View Post
                                        Well this one always gets me:

                                        "Breathe!"

                                        Huh? Like if you don't remind the kid, they'll stop breathing? Really, you don't have something more constructive to offer?

                                        Um - not a good example, JSalem. An adult in my group lesson often does NOT breathe as she goes down a line when she's worried about it. Trainer is truely concerned when she says "Breathe! That was fine! Breathe!"
                                        Incredible Invisible

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          Originally posted by hiddenlake View Post
                                          Of course, this is the same guy whose wife, when she found out my son was a "test-tube baby", said--"how did they find test-tubes big enough to hold him for nine whole months?"
                                          Would have served the lady right had you told her they used one of those Culligan water bottles...But then she probably would have asked how they got him out of it.
                                          "Police officers are public servants. Not James Bond with a license to kill."

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