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Most "interesting" things you've heard "Trainers" say

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  • Trainer who had never seen me ride before had me put on inch long spurs. I was a little nervous because I'd never worn spurs before and so was being cautious using my leg. Trainer's advice? "Punch a hole in his ribs with them!"

    Not a trainer, a veterinarian.... chemical fly sprays cause mad cow disease.
    Against My Better Judgement: A blog about my new FLF OTTB
    Do not buy a Volkswagen. I did and I regret it.
    VW sucks.


    • Actually, Jane Honda, there is a subset if European riders that purposely post on the wrong diaganol, particularly on a green horse... somerhing about making the horse step through with it's inside hind...
      And back on the 80s I was told that if an event ridercame to look at a sale horse I must hose it off starting with the feet first or they would think I didn't know anything... same reason. they'll foundr...


      • Just as a matter of practice I start with the feet when hosing.

        But that is because I think it is more courteous to the horse to start low and work up to the more sensitive area than to just blast him in the ribs or back with a hose.

        I can identify with the fact that I also get in the already-running shower toes first, then legs, then torso, rather than standing in front of the nozzle and then BAM! turning it on.
        The Noodlehttp://tiny.cc/NGKmT&http://tiny.cc/gioSA
        Boy Wonderhttp://tiny.cc/G9290
        The Hana is nuts! NUTS!!http://tinyurl.com/SOCRAZY


        • Originally posted by meupatdoes View Post
          Just as a matter of practice I start with the feet when hosing.

          But that is because I think it is more courteous to the horse to start low and work up to the more sensitive area than to just blast him in the ribs or back with a hose.

          I can identify with the fact that I also get in the already-running shower toes first, then legs, then torso, rather than standing in front of the nozzle and then BAM! turning it on.
          And that's why I didn't bother saying anything to the guy. In the end, even if his reasoning is weird and crazy, he's not actually doing anything dangerous.


          • I just have to keep coming back to this thread, it's fabulous!! a place i used to ride at, one time i was in the outdoor riding, and personally witnessed a person (adult) get off her lovely horse, and proceed to whip it viciously in the chest, legs, and face until the mare reared up and flipped over backwards - onto her western saddle. after watching this once or twice, I went over and asked what she was doing, and why. Her answer? It will make the horse respect me when I ask her to do something.

            Teaching Horseback Riding Lessons: A Practical Training Manual for Instructors

            Stop Wasting Hay and Extend Consumption Time With Round Bale Hay Nets!!


            • Originally posted by amastrike View Post
              Not a trainer, a veterinarian.... chemical fly sprays cause mad cow disease.
              Snort. Because ranchers use fly spray on their cattle ALL THE TIME.


              • I had just moved to my trainer's trainer's barn, because my horse was difficult, and he might have been more help when it came time to sell him.
                I was walking into the barn,and he says,"I can always tell a rider by the way they walk. And you're not one."

                I was a grown woman of about 45 or so. Why didn't I tell him where to get off? I know I would now.


                • Not from a trainer but from a 16 year old "wanna-be trainer" who is leasing her horse to one of my riders and came to visit.

                  "You should try skipping Belle, she knows how to skip"

                  I asked her what she meant.

                  "You know,....skipping. Like they do in dressage where they change leads every two strides."

                  I stifled a laugh and asked if she meant a two-tempi.

                  "No, they call it skipping in dressage."

                  After having her hang out at the barn for a little while, I have come to realize that she is a know it all that doesn't like to admit that she doesn't know things and doesn't like to admit that she is wrong.

                  She also had a little bag of stuff that she brought with her and in it was a copy of George Morris' Hunter Seat Equitation. I casually mentioned the book and she proceeded to tell me that it was a rare book and incredibly hard to find.
                  Every man has a right to his opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts.
                  Bernard M. Baruch


                  • Originally posted by HunterJumperGin View Post
                    A trainer very dear to me yelled this upon coming to a jump (3'-3'6).

                    "Just run at it, babes!!!"
                    My husband and I have a running joke. Whenever I'm feeling nervous about a particular fence, he tells me "Just run at it!" He is not, nor will he ever be, a trainer, btw

                    Adams Equine Wellness


                    • You know, McVilles Mom, it really does have a way of working sometimes! If nothing else it takes the pressure off of overthinking your distance. God bless him, I miss that particular trainer so very much. No one else makes me feel that brave (or crazy? )
                      Thoroughbreds: classic

                      Turn. N. Burn.


                      • Originally posted by elektra949 View Post
                        "You look like a crow on a garbage can."
                        "You look like a monkey in a banana tree."
                        "Be proud your boozies! Boozie up"! (Boozie was his version of "bosom")
                        [B]"Seet on your Poooozie!" [/B](I was a naive kid and had no idea what a "Poooozie" was until many years later, when I realized what exactly he was saying...)

                        And one day it just hit you, in the middle of raking the yard or something, like OH MY GOD he was telling me to sit on my P*s*y! LoL!!

                        Along those same lines....One of my old trainers(back when I used to show, I must've been 12/13 ish) used to tell me I would never keep a man if I didn't learn how to ley my hips follow the motion. Pigs, I tell ya.
                        Bah hahahaha - OMG you owe me a keyboard


                        • My trainer told me he was only going to charge me for two weeks training as the other two weeks he was away on his honeymoon and did not feel I should pay for that....
                          The Elephant in the room


                          • Took one h/j lesson with a trainer who chewed me out for looking through my corners. I was to look only at the area directly between the ears. Did not take that advice with me.


                            • "Shorten your draw reins and CRANK that pony's head down."


                              • Originally posted by toxicity View Post
                                "Shorten your draw reins and CRANK that pony's head down."
                                This reminds me of something I overheard in the warmup ring at a UPHA show, years and years ago:

                                "take that little rein & pull it up tight!" The shank on the curb was about 5 feet long. I think I was about 15 & my riding instructor looked at me, then actually escorted me away from the rail.


                                • My current trainer comes out with some great sayings. Keeps me smiling and if I laugh she knows Im breathing!

                                  My favourite so far was from early on in riding career.
                                  I used to hold my hands right down by the pommel, was a bad habit which she quickly stopped by saying,

                                  "Are you holding a cat up there? No? Well stop stroking your pussy!"

                                  And on the no breathing comments, I find if I am concentrating on bend or leg yield, or while Im doing a round of SJing, I hold my breath.

                                  My trainer gets me to sing nursery rhymes, something with a consistent beat, at different times throughout my lessons. Then she knows Im breathing, not too puffed, relaxing more(cos it usually makes you smile) and the consistent beat helps with rhythm in trot.


                                  • I overheard this at the warmup arena at a local dressage schooling show where I was watching a friend warm up her new horse I hadn't seen yet. Her "coach" was giving her some pointers and as being friendly with me. As they were warming up his medium trot, she praised my friend, and then turned to me and said something to the effect of, "He's such a good boy. He's finally learning to flip his toes up." It took everything I had not to actually drop my jaw.


                                    • I've got two:

                                      "You should be thinking about pulling his nose down to his chest, and bringing his chest back to his hind legs."


                                      "Stop looking at your hands when you half-halt! You don't need to look at your butt when you wipe, so you don't need to look at your hands when you say whoa!"

                                      In the warm-up ring, at a show.
                                      "I'd rather have a horse. A horse is at least human, for god's sake." - J.D. Salinger


                                      • When working on developing a soft, flowing seat, one of my students complained 'I must look like a sack of sh't right now' and I assured her she was getting it, and if that's what helped her get it, then 'ride like a sack of sh't!'. I told her this a few weeks later in a warm up ring. Tried to do it quietly, but I'm sure others heard. It meant something to her, so I didnt't care, but I'm sure someone out there thought I was nuts!

                                        I did a lesson with a BNT once who congratulated me for staying on, because she was pretty sure she would have come off. Yet BNT offered no constructive advice, just 'try it again, with more sanity this time'.horse's owner still worshipped BNT despite this, I however, was severely unimpressed. Stopped riding that horse shortly after.


                                        • One trainer I clinicked with had me hold my hands so high and wide we literally had to unbuckle the reins. Literally to try this at home just unbuckle the reins, hold the ends, and lift your arms aloft ala YMCA. Now canter thusly in two point lime some sort of weird atrack centaur.

                                          I am of the belief that when I am lessoning as long as I am not harming the horse or myself I shut up and be obliging so I just looked her from under my armpit and said, "Like this? Like this?" I learned so much on that day...

                                          Meanwhile the owner of the horse who signed me up for this adbentureand who knew what I was likely thinking was nearly dead in the bleachers and staring in disbelief.

                                          Less humorous (lo, I have been around the block roughly 1000 more times since this thread was started) was the trainer who had a fairly timid adult ride her green ottb in a mikmar combination bit complete with two reins and nose string. While aiming said pair at the jumps in a group lesson, this lovely lady repeated - several times!- "Your horse has a mack truck in its mouth, just let the bit do the training!" As an aside to another adult student in the group the trainer noted that the horse who was putting up with all this was, according to her, a "disgusting pig".

                                          Now, I will ride along like a YMCA attack centaur and chalk it up to different strokes for different folks, but this line of training is flat out unacceptable. To this day I cannot believe her students stayed with her and think less of them for it. I even asked one of them, "If you saw that posted on COTH wouldn't everyone lose their minds? This is NOT. ACCEPTABLE."


                                          I personally would rather ride with a kind loony toon and do whatever crazy nonsense they say, in public and with people watching, than give someone who treats horses like the other one did an ounce of my business or respect. And I can ride my horses and teach my students how to ride theirs in snaffles, too.
                                          The Noodlehttp://tiny.cc/NGKmT&http://tiny.cc/gioSA
                                          Boy Wonderhttp://tiny.cc/G9290
                                          The Hana is nuts! NUTS!!http://tinyurl.com/SOCRAZY