Spinoff: Children loose in the barn

[bird4416]

Several years ago, we had a woman who had a 12 year old daughter who boarded her horse at our farm. This girl was not a problem when dropped off to ride, but the Mom would show up to pick up said daughter with her other daughter, the 2 year old demon-seed. Mom would let demon-seed eat half a box of sugar cubes and run screaming up and down the barn aisle. One day, this kid disappears out the barn door and several minutes later we hear screaming and crying. Mom and I run out to find the DSeed standing by the electric fence crying. Obviously, she had touched the fence. The mom gets very upset and says we should have a sign on the fence saying it is electric. I ask her if her 2 year old can already read and perhaps she needs to keep a better eye on her. She stormed off in a huff. Back to the orginal question, I really think it depends on the child as to when they can be left alone and/or unsupervised but as a general rule of thumb, unless in a lesson, I think they should be at least 13.

[nhwr]

I think that horses should be able to or learn to "deal" with stuff one usually expects to find about the barn. This includes children. That being said kids are impulsive, quick, loud and forgetful. Mine are too precious to me to risk by letting them run wild or leaving them unsupervised at the barn.

But as Coreene's post shows, sometime having a parent around doesn't solve much.

[StefffiC]

But as Coreene's post shows, sometime having a parent around doesn't solve much.

I have to admit... Coreene's post is alot like some barns I've been at. The last two have been thankfully very professional outfits that didn't have the pawn the kid off problem. The current barn is a training facility that has a few boarders (me and 2 other older women). Some of the training clients have kids, but they're very well mannered, quiet, and polite. In 7 months only one time have I had a kid problem, and that was just an oversight (they didn't know I was riding and were playing in the pastures).

Dogs and Kids are two things I'm not overly fond of and don't own.

Steph

[Appassionato]

So what are your feelings about children at the barn? Should they always be attended by a parent/guardian/coach? Who do you expect to supervise if it is not to be you? When should they be allowed to be on their own? What makes them ready? i.e. age, experience?

Just curious.

The 13 year old is sometimes left with me at the barn. She's very well mannered, and loves the pony that she leases from us to pieces. She doesn't go far out of site, nor will. She isn't about to risk losing riding priveledges with the parents. Her two brothers? Nope, please don't leave them here! They just aren't mature enough.

Now, at 12 was when I was being left at the barn by myself to ride. I had a wonderful older mare that never ever dumped me, just sweet and happy to not be a school horse, and just have me to pack around (20 brats, or 1 brat, take your pick!). Maybe it is a maturity thing, rather than an age thing. I've known 16 year olds that couldn't be trusted being dropped off at the farm.

As far as supervision, since I'm the BM, I'll scold children in front of the parents if needed. The BO defends me on that one, they want a safe place for the riders but the horses as well. You'd be amazed at how fast a young filly can run through board fencing because of a cap gun popped in front of her nose. In general the parents should ask other adults such as the BO or BM if children can be left at the barn. Thankfully my first boarder did just that, so we've had no problems.

[Chanter]

[quote=Dazednconfused]All small children should be leashed

Wait, wait, you forgot to add the part about gagged, handcuffed & hobbled! Uhm, no, actually I am not kidding.

I live in a TB race training barn. The monsters have no place being here-period! One of these days they shall get someone killed with how they spook horses.

My 4 year old TB still cannot walk past one shavings pile without looking to see if the bloody monsters are there playing king of the hill, only to run down off it at him screaming their bloody lungs out. Horse is not stupid, he knows exactly the spot where the horse eaters lurk! *poor horse*

[SweetLatte]

Sorry, Sweet. I didn't mean to offend. I was only kidding.

You didn't offend me, I know a lot of people who do actually feel this way. It's been a popular topic on other forums as well. I'm a pretty strong believer that it's pretty much an individual situation, since my dad passed I'm the only horse person in my family and the only way I can ride is alone and that's how it's been since I was 10. On the other hand, I know plenty of people my age and younger who I wouldn't trust at the barn if they were shackled and drugged...

[Appassionato]

And then there were the little monsters at our place that I told four times, in front of their parents, to stop screaming and running around. The one mother said "Oh, don't listen to her, she's mean."

She is indeed right in that I am mean, because I am a complete bitch, but that's besides the point.

So, of course, the little monsters KEPT doing it, spooked my horse, he spun around, stepped on a friend's toe, and she had to have the toenail surgically removed.

Of course, the mother who had branded me as mean is the same one who, after her daughter almost had me decapitated a few months prior, thought I was coming over to apologize for making her daughter cry when I barked at her (right after near-decapitation episode) to stop running through the aisles on her horse. I very frostily pointed out that no, her daughter had nearly gotten me killed, at which point she immediately says "It's not her fault, she asked the horse to go fast by mistake."

Note to parents: if an adult has a go at your kid, it's usually for a very good reason. No, not always, but 99% of the time I'd give the adult the benefit of the doubt.

That's it, I adore ya!

And I agree. Not slamming every parent out there, but I have seen some parents that think that the barn is the free daycare. I understand they pay the same board I do, but that's just it: I pay the same board they do, so therefore, I'm not responsible for your child. You had it, it's your responsibility!!! And darling little Susie is really The Bad Seed when you're not looking, or usually, not there. Thankfully this isn't something I ran into often, but it did happen more than once.

[[r.oo and l.ulu]]

While I certainly can't stand the clueless parents that allow their unruly children to roam free, I'm also not fond of the hypochondriatic horse owners who freak if people talk loud, or -God forbid- run through the barn

[Appassionato]

While I certainly can't stand the clueless parents that allow their unruly children to roam free, I'm also not fond of the hypochondriatic horse owners who freak if people talk loud, or -God forbid- run through the barn

The loud talking doesn't bother me at all, but even the calmest horse in the world can spook in regards to running. I ask for the kids to ride their bikes or run outside of the barn, but never into or in the barn. That's been pretty standard barn rules anywhere I've been.

[[r.oo and l.ulu]]

While I understand it's a standard barn rule, my old barn was right smack dab in the middle of a neighborhood, and thus our horses were exposed to all sorts of scary stimulus. Kids running around in the barn was normal.

Meh. I understand why running around should be refrained (green horses, while being clipped, injections, etc.), but I've found that horses who are exposed to a wide variety of stimulus are better off because of it.

[Dhorton]

Our standing rule is no rider under 12 is to be left here without a parent or guardian on the premises. No rider under 8 is allowed on a horse without a parent present close-by. Now we have made exceptions - a parent needed to run get gas (right after the hurricane - gas was in short supply, and the station is just down the street), BUT I told her that while yes I would watch her daughter while she was gone, I would not let her get into the saddle until she returned. But I HAVE told parents to either control their younger children, or to do us all a favor of sanity and not allow them to come to the farm - said as youngest child was trying to chase the cat, got bored and simply sat down in the middle of the arena to throw dirt clods.

I do have several riders that I do allow to stay out without their parents - but they are ones that I can trust to be doing what they have been asked to do. And I MUST have a way of contacting their parents should the need arise. And my older teens are no problems - several ride as frequently as they can get rides out to the barn, but they have all been warned, ANY problems or breaking the rules and we will remove the privilege.

This has been to our advantage - I do not have enough eyes to keep an eye on every kid that might be just "dropped" off - and 90% of the time the ones that would cause trouble head straight to the pasture fence.

The ONE time I took exception - trouble happened. Student came to a lesson with a friend's parents. All we knew was she had seriously hurt the elbow and needed to go to the ER. I asked her if her mom was home, she said yes. Called there - no answer - called her call phone. Darn it all - the mother was 3 hours north, and her dad was out hunting... thankfully her older brother met her at the ER (her friend's mom took her). Thankfully this child is as honest and as good as the day is long - she told her parents what happened exactly as it happened instead of trying to point fingers at everything else causing the accident. (she did that when I first got ahold of her mom while I then went to catch her horse...yes I took care of my rider before catching a loose horse). Thankfully they were understanding of accidents, but I still felt horrible to have to had called her and given her that news of her child being hurt while she was out of town.

My biggest fear is a child being hurt seriously by getting into the pasture and trying to "catch" one of the more tempermental horses while I am occupied with a student in a lesson. Or worse yet attempting to get into the stallion pen - I have a hard enough time convincing people that while he is "nice and easy" for ME to handle he will take a bite out of you without thinking twice.

[Appassionato]

While I understand it's a standard barn rule, my old barn was right smack dab in the middle of a neighborhood, and thus our horses were exposed to all sorts of scary stimulus. Kids running around in the barn was normal.

Meh. I understand why running around should be refrained (green horses, while being clipped, injections, etc.), but I've found that horses who are exposed to a wide variety of stimulus are better off because of it.

THAT was the kind of stuff I meant. I've got a horse that is blind in one eye, and if you walk past his pasture, when he finally sees you with the good eye, he bolts. And that's while walking. And yeah, he's quite the oaf. The other reason is the coming 2 year old filly. The day she jumps on me because some kid came flying into the barn thinking he's being oh so cute, I'll come unhinged.

[SweetLatte]

I almost wonder if having both kids and parents signing a contract stating all of the rules of the barn that you want children to adhere to that warns them if they don't follow all those rules, they will not be allowed back at the barn without parental supervision would do anything?

[[r.oo and l.ulu]]

THAT was the kind of stuff I meant. I've got a horse that is blind in one eye, and if you walk past his pasture, when he finally sees you with the good eye, he bolts. And that's while walking. And yeah, he's quite the oaf. The other reason is the coming 2 year old filly. The day she jumps on me because some kid came flying into the barn thinking he's being oh so cute, I'll come unhinged.

Haha- you'll realize I put "green horses" first. My mare was an absolute nutcase as a two year old.

[Appassionato]

I almost wonder if having both kids and parents signing a contract stating all of the rules of the barn that you want children to adhere to that warns them if they don't follow all those rules, they will not be allowed back at the barn without parental supervision would do anything?

I've been told various things about minors signing anything, maybe it is state by state?

[Dazednconfused]

I almost wonder if having both kids and parents signing a contract stating all of the rules of the barn that you want children to adhere to that warns them if they don't follow all those rules, they will not be allowed back at the barn without parental supervision would do anything?

Yeah, right...unfortunatey. [SIZE=2]
[/SIZE]

[ReSomething]

So what are your feelings about children at the barn? Should they always be attended by a parent/guardian/coach? Who do you expect to supervise if it is not to be you? When should they be allowed to be on their own? What makes them ready? i.e. age, experience?

Just curious.

Absolutely they should be at the barn, riding and learning horsemanship. Yes, they need to be attended by a caretaker of some sort. No, I would never drop my daughter off at the barn unless she was in a lesson or at camp and I would make sure to get back before the end of it. i.e. I expect to continuously supervise when not actively participating in class. They should be allowed to be on their own once they have demonstrated the maturity. I hear that babysitting classes are available for kids at 12 years of age. So a 12 year old might be able to exercise the good judgement necessary to be safe and sane. As another poster said however, kids in packs tend to get wild. And it is a maturity + experience thing. Mature adults that don't know horses and barn etiquette can be no fun to have around either. It is hard to be a parent nowadays and a barn is one of those "safe havens" where it is too easy to let the kids or their sibs just roam around; not thinking of course, about the other users. A barn with a fenced play area would be great, continuous supervision better. I only have the one kid. There were other parents that had younger sibs and some were a pain (they also brought their dogs - whole nother topic )Ultimately it is the BO/BM and their insurance company that have the final say on policy regarding unattended minors.

[Coup De Des]

That said, the one barn I boarded at where kids were allowed, the kids really were fantastic - very well behaved and very sensible young horsepersons, of about age 8, 10 and a group of 12-ishes respectively.

You met the Saddle Club hahahahahaha

anyway. that's enough lameness for one post :P

I agree with ya'll and I yelled at the kid that lives next door to where my horse is boarded, a few days ago right in front of his parents. My friend had our horses standing, with us on them, side by side about 2 foot apart.. long reins, relaxed. Their son came up behind us on his bike and rode between the horses.. his handlebars actually touching the flanks of both horses. Thankfully no spook from the horses, but I got a hell of a fright and freaked and started yelling at him!

[SweetLatte]

It's too bad something like that wouldn't work out, I wasn't thinking actual contract, more of an agreement, but I suppose some people just don't listen or comprehend as well as we'd like them to.

CDD-I had something similar happen, we were riding our horses at the park along a bridle path, some teenagers were playing football and decided that it would be fun to throw the ball at the horses. Well, they ended up hitting one of the horses in the butt (thankfully, the quieter one) after already being warned, so I got off my horse, took the ball and we kept riding. They were quite peeved, cussed up a storm (because that's SOOO threatening) but didn't do a whole lot else. It was actually pretty entertaining

[TheJenners]

Note to parents: if an adult has a go at your kid, it's usually for a very good reason. No, not always, but 99% of the time I'd give the adult the benefit of the doubt.

Why don't parents understand this?!?!?

Something that once shaved years off my life: husband and I were sitting in the livingroom, watching a movie at 730 at night, munching poppy-corn and the phone rings. DH gets up and answers it. I hear, "Hello? Yeah...no...WHAT?!?" It was my neighbor calling to ask if we have seen what is happening in our arena. Paul relays question to me, I peek out the window and damn near have heart-failure. What did I see? A young girl (found out she is 12!) I did not recognize using a crop and trying to beat a TB mare who has never jumped in her life over a set of ground poles that have been placed on top of another boarder's gaming barrels (I measured later, 2'5''), while the mare's owner, who is 14, is standing behind the mare waving her arms. I run out of the house, the girls see me coming and try to run out of the back of the arena (thru a gate that is totally blocked by upgrown grass and piled up sand), then stop and give up when I called out the SECOND time for them to stop. I walk up, tell the girl mounted to get off, ask her name, tell the boarder to go get the girl's release (which the Mom so kindly signed when she LEFT the two girls at the BARN, ALONE, AT NIGHT!!! ). Then I tell them to put the horse up, I am calling the parents.

I called the 12 year old's mom first, since the girls told me that the boarder's mom was off the island and about 1 hour away. When I got ahold of the mom, a PONY CLUB mom, she said, "and what is the problem?" after I explained the situation.

By the next day when I had BO-parent meeting with the boarder's parents, the story had turned into I screamed at the girls and they weren't trying to run from me, they "suddenly" decided to ride around the pond. And guess who the parents believed?? Even with my husband there to back me up on what he saw and heard happened, I somehow turned into the bad guy.

Until they have their driver's license, kids should always be supervised. I know everyone is busy and it easier to drop the kiddies off (or in my case ride the bus) and run errands, but tough. This is not a free babysitting service.