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A question for the gay and lesbian BBers.

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  • Just my two cents...

    I'm almost certain that one of my guy friends is gay. He's just so "feminine", I would be fairly suprised if he turned out not to be gay... However, he is THE NICEST guy that I've ever met. Does his sexuality bother me? Hell, no! He's really nice, funny, and smart, and that's all that matters to me. I'm sure his other friends have some hint of his sexuality, but that doesn't change what they think about him. Last year I overheard a popular guy in our school taking around a yearbook, and pointing out to all his friends, "He's gay, he's gay, she's gay, etc." He pointed to the picture of my guy friend and said, "He's gay." He was using the word "gay" not a word of sexuality, but whether or not someone is "cool" or not. I am still fairly angry at the popular guy who said it.

    Another incident which happened this year at our school was agianst the Gay-Staight Alliance. The GSA had spray painted The Rock (a big rock at our school that teens can spray paint with permission from the administration) rainbow colors. However, some idiots had later spraypainted derogatory words on the Rock, which were painted over in black by the school security officers. I was really suprised and p-oed that the idiots did that. Come on, it's McLean, right next to DC, and we're supposed to be very open to different points of views. As the incident just showed everyone, obviously not...

    Horsey folks are stable people

    Comment


    • Not meaning to speak for joliemom, but I will anyway....the post was ment to be funny.

      I know joliemom and her daughter and both are wonderful, compasionate and caring people. Everyone should wish to have a daughter like Jolie.

      Children do need boundries and those boundries need to be age appropriate.

      Comment


      • Oh, o2binca, if you only knew me.

        There are two joliemoms (ask Maria, she's met them both). There's the online version who's a sassy mouthed purse swinger. A gadfly. Some would say...an outlaw.

        The other joliemom is a simple librarian. She has one girlchild who she spent last evening working with her for hours on a school project. This was after begging off barn duties because the girlchild had her heart set on this project being perfect (a medieval shield), and far be it for joliemom to deny her only daughter.

        This has happened a thousand times since she was born.

        Do I advocate literally whacking somebody with a purse? No.

        Do I practice corporal punishment? Nope, though I'm not opposed to a swat on the behind when warranted.

        Please feel free to search out the original Aunt Esther purse swing, you'll see it's a metaphor for those dear people who overstep, run over, jet down the tarmac over their boundaries. It is by no means a request to go out and beat little children. Period. Aunt Esther would not approve.

        "If you ain't got it in ya, you can't blow it out." Pops

        Comment


        • Joliemom -
          I apologize for my (over)sensitivity to your post, and appreciate your thoughtful clarification. I think I was feeling pretty horrified by the stories of cruel treatment some of the earlier posters related. The hostility I incorrectly read into your joke is certainly inconsistent with the compassion so readily apparent in your other posts. Guess I need to lighten up and learn some of the inside humor on the BB.

          "Cross my heart and hope to fly." - AKM

          [This message was edited by o2binca on Feb. 21, 2003 at 04:06 PM.]

          Comment


          • lmlacross, I thought that every highschool had a GSA. Maybe it is just the schools in my area. I will most likely regret saying this. What I find funny is these people fighting the GSA, a group set up to unite people, are the same people with the patriotic (the USA is going to stick together) type stickers. I am constantly amazed by hypocritical and ignorant people this nation seems to be full of.

            The revolution is coming. Muhahahahahahaha!!!!!
            The revolution is coming. Muhahahahahahaha!!!!!

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by McLeanHunterRider:
              Just my two cents...

              I'm almost certain that one of my guy friends is gay. He's just so "feminine", I would be fairly suprised if he turned out not to be <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

              I came out of lurkdom for this reply. I know, it was just hard to resisit.

              I don't mean to pick on you, McLean, but this struck a cord with me. Isn't being gay about your sexual preference, not the way you act or the things you like?

              That would be a stereo type. Wow he acts feminine and likes girl things, so he must be gay. Or wow she has short hair and likes hunting, she must be a lesbian.

              Again I don't mean to pick on you. You obviously like your friend a lot, and don't mean to hurt him.

              see ya
              see ya

              Comment


              • Okay, I'm totally confused about the word gay. MCS said using the word gay is an insult. Now any word can be used in a mean way or inquisitive way- tone of voice, facial expression and intent influence the "meaning". I accept that. However, while looking on the links jolimom provided (thank you!) gay is used repeatedly to describe men and women in same sex relationships. On the youthpride link on the events page they mention educating the press on using gay/lesbian and NOT homosexual. Which is which? The message is very confusing. Start with me, educate me on what is the correct and sensitive word to decribe a same sex couple in 2003?

                On the other hand I think things are looking up for different lifestyles. This is just out of FLA. and shows a big change from the problems of year ago.

                http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,79239,00.html

                SLW
                "It is I."

                Comment


                • SLW- I did not mean insult. People use it because they think it is one, whereas I am trying to show people that there is nothing wrong with being gay and therefore it is not a very good word to be used as an insult.

                  ** Proud member of the Klutz Klique and the Appaloosa Clique**
                  If riding were all blue ribbons and bright lights, I would have quit long ago.
                  ~George Morris

                  Comment


                  • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MissCapitalSplash:
                    SLW- I did not mean insult. People use it because they think it is one, whereas I am trying to show people that there is nothing wrong with being gay and therefore it is not a very good word to be used as an insult.

                    ** Proud member of the Klutz Klique and the Appaloosa Clique**<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                    Okay, I (whacks head with keyboard) missed that in your post.

                    SLW
                    "It is I."

                    Comment


                    • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by no longer a BBer:
                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by McLeanHunterRider:
                      Just my two cents...

                      I'm almost certain that one of my guy friends is gay. He's just so "feminine", I would be fairly suprised if he turned out not to be <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                      I came out of lurkdom for this reply. I know, it was just hard to resisit.

                      I don't mean to pick on you, McLean, but this struck a cord with me. Isn't being gay about your sexual preference, not the way you act or the things you like?

                      That would be a stereo type. Wow he acts feminine and likes girl things, so he must be gay. Or wow she has short hair and likes hunting, she must be a lesbian.

                      Again I don't mean to pick on you. You obviously like your friend a lot, and don't mean to hurt him.

                      see ya<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                      I am not in any offened by your post. In fact, I was hoping that at least someone would reply, because I felt as though I didn't explain it correctly. I've been reading this book "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps" by Barbara and Allan Pease. IMHO, I believe that gayness is caused by a lack of hormones (testorone). That is what causes gayness... I hope I don't get too flamed for saying this... Also, the book that I mentioned earlier is a really good book, and I would reccomened to anyone who wants to find out more!

                      Horsey folks are stable people

                      Comment


                      • JustforKicks, I went to highschool in Fairfax, VA, and I can't imagine what would've happenend if someone had tried to start a GSA at my school. I think a lot of parents would've been very very upset. It's pretty sad that that's the way it is.

                        and McLean, this isn't a flame certainly, but I think you need to do some more extensive reading before coming to a conclusion about what "makes" people gay. Personally, I don't think that there is any one thing. Different people are gay for different reasons or combinations of reasons, I think.

                        lilblackhorse- I'm really impressed and amazed by your compassion and parenting. my mom thinks that my little brother might be gay, and while she's a very compassionate person and a wonderful mother, she admits that she would find that very difficult to deal with, and that she would probably be upset. It's a very interesting discussion to be having with her.

                        Courtney
                        Courtney

                        my livejournal

                        Comment


                        • [QUOTE]Originally posted by CourtneyLiz:
                          JustforKicks, I went to highschool in Fairfax, VA, and I can't imagine what would've happenend if someone had tried to start a GSA at my school. I think a lot of parents would've been very very upset. It's pretty sad that that's the way it is.


                          LOL talk about it! I went to a very small school in backwoods PA. My senior year one of the guys in my class came to school on Halloween (we were having a senior halloween cosutme contest) as Dr. Frank-n-furter from Rocky Horror. He wasn't wearing the G-string and fishnets, he was simply wearing the grey dress and pearls that Frank starts the movie in.
                          Not only was he kicked out of school for showing up in a dress, he was suspended for two weeks and had to go to counseling. *sigh* He looked D**** good in that black curly wig I might add!
                          On this same note, has anyone seen the first season of Queer as folk? It goes into the school/work intolerance problem very well and quite in depth.

                          cheers

                          propspony

                          "That some people are happy to live their lives around horses is almost as baffling as the fact that horses are happy to live their lives around humans"
                          Anonymous
                          The ninja monkeys are plotting my demise as we speak....

                          Comment


                          • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SLW:
                            Okay, I'm totally confused about the word gay. MCS said using the word gay is an insult...{snip} Start with me, educate me on what is the correct and sensitive word to decribe a same sex couple in 2003?

                            <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                            Gay is the answer! Most definately SLW!

                            The expression "that is so gay" is just that, an expression - you could substitute the word gay with something else like "corny" or "lame" etc. While I realize that the use of gay in the expression certainly came about through negative connotations, I can't say it bothers me a whole lot. I have been known to use the phrase myself the odd time, although it probably means differently coming from me!

                            You sound like a great sister Courtney! Mine was super to me when I came out

                            To McLean - I too would suggest a bit more reading! Can't say I like the idea of being gay due to hormonal problems! I am quite sure I have more than enough testosterone I have no idea why I am, but I do know I have always been this way!

                            Its good to see this thread still going!

                            "Toss me... Don't tell the elf."-Gimli
                            You Strike Me Still

                            Comment


                            • I have my own theory about sexuality and such...it's long and drawn out, so I'm not going to post it here....but it essentualy says that sexuality is somewhat something you're born with, somewhat something you grow into/learn. I think that growing up in the horse world has made me much more accepting of gays and lesbians, it doesn't bother me in the least, and I know some people that are really freaked out by it....
                              ~Erin

                              Eyes up, Kick on, dear Aiden!
                              Eyes up, Kick on, dear Aiden!

                              Comment


                              • Hey everyone! I love coming out of the lurkdom to add my two cents to these posts, cause I just love debating gay issues so much, I can't keep my mouth shut.

                                As my 22 years heads toward 23, I find myself becoming more and more open to who I am. Who is that? Someone who allows herself to attracked to whatever and whoever it is that catches her eye at that moment, and can't help but comment on it to whoever is next to her.

                                After a couple lunches which a friend at work, she, in frustration and misunderstanding, asked me, "what is it? Apples or oranges? It can't be both!"

                                Of course, I laughed, and said it is ALWAYS both. Some days I'm more hungry for apples than oranges, but I always crave both.

                                I feel its not so much sexuality in itself that is so fascinating, but the decisions people make regarding their sexuality. I have known people who declare themselves lesbians and scold me for thinking I am bi(I MUST be gay, right?) to only a few months later have a new boyfriend. I'll never forget the friend who described himself as "gay with bi tendencies". oh, what a laugh we had over that one!

                                Some people feel its so necessary to have a label, something that they can say "I am this!". But when does life EVER really work that way? We are all combinations of many different traits, and this includes our levels or feminity or masculinity.

                                I think I look at sexuality the way I look at everything in life...you don't know if you don't try. And its a big exciting world out there and I want to experience everything! So is my sexuality innate or a nature thing? I do feel its a combination of everything, especially since my sexuality is so reflective of my personality.

                                I don't know what my future will be. I know when I fall in love, I fall totally for that person, regardless of gender, and they are all that matter to me. And I know when I fall in love, it will be enough for me. But will that person be male or female? Who knows?!? Only time can tell, and I certainly will not be closing myself off to any of the options
                                I got a webshots album! Yay! Go see : http://community.webshots.com/user/piggiejump

                                Comment


                                • Well, having watched the last episode of a series on gay weddings, for one, I am so glad that the misery of planning a wedding is spread equally among the masses. For two, one of the remaining resolutions of the outgoing Prime Minister of Canada is to legalize gay marriages - again, I applaud his effort to distribute the misery. Yes, that's mostly, at least 65%, in jest.

                                  PDAs, the perception and definition of sexual deviance, the attribution of the word 'gay' as an insult bandied readily by children and adults - these are all peripheral arguments; at the end of the day, we are all entitled to love who we do, whatever the gender the object of our affections. Just as some on this BB love WBs, others embrace TBs, yet others adore Arabs. How can we possibly cast judgement on another's choice of love? That said, I am so very impressed and heartened by the vast majority of you. Those outside the horse world can learn a thing, or 100, from those on this BB.

                                  Comment


                                  • A lack of testosterone?

                                    Tell that to my furry bottom and balding head.

                                    Robby

                                    "Don't mince words, don't be evasive
                                    Speak your mind, be persuasive"
                                    Madonna
                                    When blood is the beverage of choice, the sharpest fangs feed first.

                                    Comment


                                    • Ok, Robby! That image about did me in!

                                      "I can justify anything!"
                                      \"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed.\" -- Ralph Waldo E

                                      Comment


                                      • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>The topic of homosexuality has come up quite frequently on the BB... as horses are one of only a very few sports where there seem to be many gay participants, I don't think it's an invalid question at all.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                        This is ridiculous..there are no more gay men in riding than there are in being waiters, another typical stereotype. I believe the number of gays in horses is typical of the number of gays in the culture. I know more gay people outside of horses than I do inside of horse. In fact most every rider I know male or female is in a proper boy-girl marriage with children. Thanks for promoting the stereotype.

                                        AWS Elite Stallion - Manahawk
                                        2002 AWS Gold Medal Novice Award
                                        Cool Breeze Farm, LLC

                                        Comment


                                        • Okay, I'm not experenced the g/l world, but had an insight in it's own. Well, the question was if
                                          "because I was wondering if men and women come into the horse world straight and are influenced by the other gay and lesbian people."

                                          As for the gay men, it accured to me that they excell in the sport horse world because it's more of a finess sport. Reading subtle signals, paying attention to details(of course gay men are typically better dressers, as in details), not reacting with violence, and other sterotypes&lt;not to sound derogatory, this is in a goodway&gt; that would help you be a better rider overall. Lets see, aren't gay men usally more organized also. This may be completely off in all retrospects, but does anyone else see it this way?

                                          Jess
                                          Jess

                                          Comment

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