• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Non-Pregnant Check In!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>This may seem like a selfish question but.....Does anyone wonder what it will be like when we're older, I'm talking 70, 80, 90+ for those of us who live that long, and we never had children? Who will be around to visit with us or help out when we can't do the things we use to?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    I have thought about this before. I came to the conclusion that even if you have kids, there is no guarantee that they will visit or help take care of you when you are old. I know some people who are estranged from their kids and haven't seen them or talked to them in years.

    IMO, you shouldn't have a kid just because you want a caretaker in your old age! You can cultivate friends and other family members to do this. Also, make sure you have money in your retirement to pay for your own care.

    "You're only young once, but you can be immature forever!"
    \"So shines a good deed in a weary world\" - Willy Wonka

    Comment


    • Why does it have to be about who is more selfish or who is following the crowd? Someone with kids said they resent the feeling they get from childless folks that kids are an anchor, and I expect, those without kids resent being called selfish, or told that they are missing something in their lives, implying a lack or fulfilment.

      We, all of us, I hope, have lives that are enriched by activities and by families that take any number of forms. Turning it into a competition over which of those experiences, or what form your family takes, is better or more enriching, seems pointless. We should be comfortable with our individual choices, revel in our families whatever form they take, and wish others the same joy.

      All of us were, at one time or another, a child. I thank my lucky stars for the adults, some who were parents, some who were childless, that were kind and caring enough to have shared their lives and resources (emotional, financial, and equine) with me. It was freely given, not wrenched from them through some burden of expectation. I suffer from the not uncommon regrets that I too rarely told them how grateful I am, and now many of them are gone, so it is too late.

      I marvel at the job that the moms in my family do (I have 18 or so nieces and nephews), at their never-ending passion for their kids and the heartache that passion sometimes causes them. I feel for all moms that they get so much of the blame and so little of the credit for every move their kids make.

      I marvel at RolexH, at her seemingly endless optimism and fearless joy in her son. Sh makes me more humble.

      I do not have children. It was a decision made by my husband and myself. I have never regretted it and believe it was the best decision for the two of us. My decision about what to do with my life is in no way a comment or a judgement of other's choices, but sometimes is misconstued as just that, for which I am sorry

      [This message was edited by cbv on Jan. 07, 2003 at 11:24 AM.]

      Comment


      • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by pt:
        BTW, it's my opinion that having children in expectation of having caretakers in your old age is a false hope and a very selfish reason to have kids. Now, having an excuse to get a pony...that makes a bit more sense!

        Cheers and the right of self-determination to all.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

        Well I dunno about anyone else but that is exactly the reason I want a few mini-mes someday- so I can buy some ponies and braid ribbons into their hair for the shortstirrup!

        Seriously, I do want a child, maybe two. I'm just a maternal person (I think I'd be a good parent, and I KNOW my SO would be a fantastic father). But I've quite enjoyed reading this thread and agree with most of you about the weird societal "child standard" that says you must be strange to not want to add to the gene pool. Sometimes I wonder if that attitude is really based in feelings of jealousy... I know a lot of people who have kids, who love them dearly but think they may have made a mistake. Perhaps the "you're not having kids? what's wrong with you?" attitude is just about making themselves feel normal and "better" when in reality they're not as peachy and happy as they want to be.

        I'm definitely not saying all parents are unhappy with their choice (and I think MOST are, and wouldn't trade it for anything), but I think the ones who most have issues with people who happily choose not to be parents may have issues of their own that they're avoiding by laying criticism elsewhere.

        If someone else has already said that, my bad for not reading the entire thread!

        **and people say gov't employees are useless... HA!**
        "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

        My CANTER blog.

        Comment


        • I certainly have no intention of laying any kind of guilt trip on anyone who chooses not to have children. I don't walk in anyones shoes but my own. I am only contributing to this tread to share my own personal story, which is just a titch different. I wasn't trying to get pregnant. Didn't plan on getting pregnant. Got pregnant. Yes, I had a choice to stay pregnant. I chose to stay pregnant. My choice entirely.

          I am not saying that anyone childless is more selfish than I, heck I am one of the most selfish people in the world. It is I who should have the all about me me me as their signature, not Velvet.

          There are times now that I crave, desire, fight for my me time. And Gawd help anyone who interfers with my me time.

          I understand both sides of the coin.

          I'm not much for other peoples kids. While I will certainly be curtious to them, I don't want to take them home with me. But my kid is my kid. And because I made the choice to have her, I will certainly try my hardest to do what's best for her.

          Again, I hope I haven't come across in a demeaning manner, that certainly was not my intent.

          Comment


          • The thread name is non-pregnant check-in. Well, I am non-pregnant and intend to stay that way. I was part of the never wanting kids group for many, many years so I can understand the pressures of family and society about having children. I still look at my kid sometimes and think what the heck am I doing with a baby? It seems very bizarre.

            I have zero problem with people who don't have kids and I totally understand their decision. I do not think it is the least bit selfish to not want kids. What is selfish are women who spit out kid after kid just so they can get more welfare or women who intentionally get pregnant to 'trap' a man. Making a decision to not have a kid because one does not have the time/money/whatever for one is not at all selfish.

            Comment


            • Hey, Goldentoes! Get into carriage driving. That way you can have all the cute ponies you want, without the addition of kids!

              Just kiddin', don't flame me!

              Comment


              • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by drifting cloud:
                [QUOTE]

                IMO, you shouldn't have a kid just because you want a caretaker in your old age! You can cultivate friends and other family members to do this. Also, make sure you have money in your retirement to pay for your own care.
                _<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                I certainly wasn't suggesting that this would be a REASON to have kids. Just something I've thought about as a result of me not ever wanting any kids.

                Comment


                • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by pt:
                  Good grief!

                  This thread is a share-your-voice sort of support thread for those who choose not to have children. Please note, we aren't on the Pregnancy thread sniping at those who choose to have children. So, Mrs. Mouse and any parents who have decided to read this thread, why are you here? Why are you interfering with the right of the childfree to have a little bonding experience? And why, oh why, especially if you think you made the best possible decision for yourselves, are you taking this thread as an attack or a threat on your decision, which it certainly is not?

                  <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                  Maybe because the thread is titled NON-PREGNANT check in, which has nothing to do with being childless??? It just means you are not pregnant now!

                  Comment


                  • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by pt:
                    Hey, Goldentoes! Get into carriage driving. That way you can have all the cute ponies you want, without the addition of kids!

                    Just kiddin', don't flame me!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                    That sounds perfect!!! :P Now to convince my SO, who wants 9 boys so he can fill out an entire little league team (I have to have three sets of triplets, as the theory goes... ha!)

                    **and people say gov't employees are useless... HA!**
                    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

                    My CANTER blog.

                    Comment


                    • OK Flash44 - I stand corrected on the title of the thread.

                      Not on the tone of some of the parental posts, however.

                      I can have horses and ponies without kids. Hoorah Hoorah!

                      Comment


                      • When the insinuation is made that those who choose to parent are somehow leaping like lemmings into a pit of social conformity, some will, understandably, become rather defensive. I'd also offer that discussion is always more dynamic when varying opinions and experiences are proffered. And then, of course, when children, as an outright group, are dismissed as tantrum-prone brats with no self-control or manners, well, surely, you can understand why some would be sensitive.

                        Much as many of us are offended by the assumption that ALL riders must be either wealthy or crazy, that all TBs are high-strung and crazed; as much as we protest the thought that you can buy yourself a berth on an Olympic team - there have been equally-offensive assumptions made about children and parenting. That's why we've chosen to post on this thread.

                        Comment


                        • I warned you guys... we're not here to debate the merits of having (or not having) kids.

                          Comment

                          Working...
                          X