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  • #81
    I am among the forever childless clique.
    Seems odd that there seems to be a large number of horsey women who don't care to reproduce, more so than the general public I think.

    I am so unimpressed with the whole marriage/kid thing, not to even get into the huge overpopulation problem.

    Besides, if I were a mare, I would never breed me. I would be FAR too bitchy to breed, so what makes it different that I am human?

    And to quote Elaine from Seinfeld--"whats so special about it? ANYONE can do it!"

    I'll take puppies anyday (unwanted strays, of course)

    [This message was edited by hoodoo on Jan. 06, 2003 at 07:18 PM.]
    \"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a wand and a strip search.\"

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    • #82
      LOL Belen your going to change your mind when you get order. I had the competer baby to and i was trying to turn it off!! mom and i were looking everywhere for the off button LOL It was a pass and fail grade and the teacher let me slide so i could pass with an A+ hehe i want 2 or 3 kids and my boyfriend andd i already picked out names.

      T-I-F-F-A-N-Y

      ~*When in texas,Ride like the cowboys do*~

      ~*Never send a horse to do a pony's job*~
      Tiff
      &
      Stormy

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      • #83
        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hoodoo:
        I am among the forever childless clique.
        Seems odd that there seems to be a large number of horsey women who don't care to reproduce, more so than the general public I think.
        <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

        Maybe because we all understand the sacrifice, responsibility, financial pressure, and hard work it takes to raise 2-legged kids, because we have the 4-legged kind already? Or maybe because we're already satisfied with the unconditional love that our horses give us?
        "These are my principles. If you do not like them, I have others." --Groucho Marx

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        • #84
          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by shmon:
          Maybe because we all understand the sacrifice, responsibility, financial pressure, and hard work it takes to raise 2-legged kids, because we have the 4-legged kind already? Or maybe because we're already satisfied with the unconditional love that our horses give us? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

          Or maybe b/c we don't have the time or money for children? Or b/c horses are like Never-never land and half of us never grow up?

          I think that the unrealistic expectations that society puts on parents these days to make sure their kids are safe, yet well-rounded, given every chance yet still be able to "express themselves" is a turn off to lots of people. I refuse to spend 24 hours a day ferrying some 6yo kid to various enriching activities. They can stay home and play Legos with the dog like I did. My kids will be SO neglected LOL...

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          • Original Poster

            #85
            I was going to say because we are more educated and also because we know all about responsibility. Makes us a bit wiser as well as more wily.

            Not to say that those who have kids are not educated, it's just proven that the more education you have the less likely you are to have children--or you have fewer children.

            Now, with that said, where do you think the world will be in 100 years?

            (For those of you with children, I'm just having fun!)

            It's all about ME, ME, ME!!! (The only signature worthy of a real DQ.)
            "And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling." - Capt Reynolds "Firefly"

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            • #86
              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by maggymay:
              I think that the unrealistic expectations that society puts on parents these days to make sure their kids are safe, yet well-rounded, given every chance yet still be able to "express themselves" is a turn off to lots of people. I refuse to spend 24 hours a day ferrying some 6yo kid to various enriching activities. They can stay home and play Legos with the dog like I did. My kids will be SO neglected LOL...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

              I totally agree. I was not shuttled from activity to activity as a child, and I think I turned out okay. I didn't get to ride as a kid even though I desperately wanted to, but when I could drive and work, I was able to finally ride. And I don't feel deprived because of it...it was just part of life...you don't always get to do everything you want. So I played with Breyer horses and pretended....imagination goes a long way sometimes!

              visit www.victorianfarms.com

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              • #87
                To cfc and WonderWhy and others with kids:

                I am a person who NEVER wanted children either..but now my husband and I are in our mid 30s and it is something that we are sort of considering. (shocking to all of our friends and family!!)
                Nevermind about the whole aspects of raising children- I am absolutely terrified at the thought of going through pregancy and labor. I hate pain but I think I hate doctors, hospitals, needles, IVs, etc., more. So in some ways, I think I would rather do a "natural birth" but maybe that is insane. So is childbirth as horrible as it seems or do you really forget about it once you have your "bundle of joy."

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                • #88
                  Oh, very interesting topic. I had always been one who loudly proclaimed that I didn't want children. I had myself, a horse and a cat to clothe, feed, and love; after those were provided for, there was no more time, money or love to go around. On top of that, I'm just not that comfortable around children. I have no idea how to relate to them... even as a child, I preferred the company of adults.

                  During a recent outing at IKEA with the SO, we accidentally wandered through the children's section. I was sooo unnerved by all of the little people underfoot. The SO thought it was hilarious, and now routinely drags me places where there will be lots of kids, just to see my reaction.

                  That said, my outlook has changed a bit. We were joking about friends of ours that have 5, yes 5, kids... and the SO says "that's what I want. My own hockey team." I cringed and told him he would need to find a new girlfriend to fulfill that fantasy. He then said "you don't ever see yourself having children, do you?". I replied "well, certainly not enough to support a hockey team." But it really was a hard question to answer. I couldn't say no, because it isn't the truth.

                  I know that I don't ever want more than one. I also have realized that my desire for a child is situational... when I am not dating someone I see "happily ever after" with, I don't want any, don't see myself having any. Right now, though, "happily ever after" seems within reach, and the thought of having a child with the SO isn't quite so scary. In a few years.

                  But for the moment, I am not pregnant, have never been so, and am not sure I have the intention of being so.

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                  • #89
                    Y'all are making me sound like a lemming with a brain disorder.

                    *****************

                    A bank teller's pet peeve: "What part of Wait Here For Next Available Teller do you NOT understand???"
                    *****************************************

                    Book: If you take advantage of her, you\'re going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. Firefly

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                    • #90
                      You're hardly that, Mrs Mouse

                      No, no, no. I think you know, as well as most parents, that raising a child is the hardest job in the world. And the most satisfying. Bar none. Without reservation. I think people on this thread are merely expressing their decision/desire not to have children.

                      Saratoga. I had Sumo at home, but had midwives for all three children and have had only 'natural' births. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

                      The pain, yes, absolutely does suck - and you do feel as if you will die. But, it is somehow bearable, you do survive, and one does forget the brutality of it all. That said, I found labour to be an intense experience, with a glorious 'gift' at the end; it's pain with a purpose. Pregnancy, on the other hand, is over-rated and should be condensed to a couple of months at most.

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                      • #91
                        You're right, and I respect their opinions. Free will is a wonderful thing.
                        I guess it was the first page or two that hit a nerve - like I'm buying into the whole Holy Trinity thing and I'm not complete unless I have children, a house and a husband. Well, we don't have a house, but the reason we got pregnant is not because we want to "belong" or keep up with the Joneses, but to hopefully bring a shining light into this dark world, and give a little of ourselves back.
                        I would like to have several children (I say now, before I experience labor... ) but I will settle for what God gives us.
                        I wish I could actually express my thoughts coherently for once, dangit...
                        The Lemming.
                        *****************************************

                        Book: If you take advantage of her, you\'re going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. Firefly

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                        • #92
                          I work and have one child, and I told my husband that I won't have another child unless I could stop working. Kids take up a lot of time, and I also will not give up horses for longer than the pregnancy. My son comes to the barn with me, and horse shows, and I make sure he gets plenty of time with his friends. But my day does not revolve around him and he's learned how to entertain himself at the barn or a horse show with a couple friends and a handful of action figures.

                          Your kids and lives are what you make of them.
                          Man plans. God laughs.

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                          • #93
                            MrsMouse! Don't think that at all! I am sure that the majority of people who choose to have children do so because they actually want he kid and think that they'd be good parents, not because they think they 'have' to. At least I hope that's the case! I think that choosing to have a kid is probably a very difficult thing to do, and while it's not something I ever plan on doing, I have nothing but respect for people who willingly carry around a little alien in their body for almost 10 months, push out said 8lb alien, and then raise that kid for 18+ years!! My gosh! There's a job description that sends me running! You deserve utmost respect for even getting through that decision process!

                            "Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who
                            have the habit of making excuses." -- George Washington Carver

                            Member of the drafties/drafties X clique!

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                            • #94
                              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrsMouse:

                              I guess it was the first page or two that hit a nerve - like I'm buying into the whole Holy Trinity thing and I'm not complete unless I have children, a house and a husband. Well, we don't have a house, but the reason we got pregnant is not because we want to "belong" or keep up with the Joneses, but to hopefully bring a shining light into this dark world, and give a little of ourselves back.
                              <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                              You are not a lemming, and if this thread upsets you, then don't dredge up the other one, where it really was the "I hate kids" thread. Personally I am glad that many women choose not to have children. Like Heidi so eloquently said, it takes a lot of effort to parent, and your heart and soul needs to be in it. It's not for sissies, yet I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's the hardest thing I have ever done, and yes, there are times where I just shake my head and wonder what the hell I had been thinking.

                              I DO think that many horse people do make good parents, as it takes many of the same qualities-consistency, patience, kindness, discipline to raise a decent horse as well as a child who knows boundaries yet is not an automaton. It also takes someone who is not selfish, as it will mean taking up some of the time and money that used to go elsewhere.

                              That said, my kids don't get everything they want, and I MAKE the time to go ride nearly daily. I am not putting my life on hold for them either.

                              Like I said before, choices. Don't feel bad Mrs. Mouse for choosing to have a child, or more. Yes, it hurts like hell, I did it with no drugs, and have two fun kids, 12 and 10 whom I adore (most of the time.) I feel like I have given to society two people who will make a positive difference in this world. That said, like someone else mentioned, the gene pool could use some cholorine, and many folks have no business having kids, much less pets. Until there is a law against those folks procreating, I will do my best to raise conscientious, bright kids who are pleasant to be around, but are still kids.

                              Don't let these folks get you down-You are going to have a ball, and noone has the right to make you feel like a "lemming" for having kids, just as they are complaining that society makes them feel ostracized for not.

                              This thread is taking on troll tendencies, and I need to stay away, lest I become crankier than I already am.....

                              Elippses Users Clique........
                              Co-Founder Occularly Challenged Equine Support Group
                              Ellipses users clique ...
                              TGFPT,HYOOTGP

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                              • #95
                                Never really gave it serious thought until I started dating my Greek god I know he's the one, and I would love nothing better than to make lots of little Greek babies (well...maybe one or two!) So, for now, I'm happily & patiently waiting for that question to be asked~ in no hurry, I know the time will come... He's the most wonderful guy in the world!! Besides, what could be cuter than a little darkhaired, brown-eyed girl in pigtails on a little fat leadline pony??? SUZ

                                *~*Proud member of the Baby Aiden Cyber Support Group*~*
                                "KICK ON!"
                                *SC'er's Clique*Group W Bench Clique*
                                Crayola posse~ orange yellow, official pilot
                                Proud owner of "High Flight" & "Shorty"

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                                • #96
                                  I for one am a PROUD member of the NOT HAVING KIDS gruop. I'd rather have my horses and my youth. Kids are demanding and very selfish. Selfish as they are needy. I can't stand crying babies either. But for those who want to have kids RESPONSIBLY go ahead. I'm not going to take care if them.

                                  http://www.dmtc.com/dmtc98/Pedigree/
                                  Look up your TB's bloodlines

                                  "Common sense is so rare nowadays, it should be classified as a super power."-Craig Bear Laubscher

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                                  • #97
                                    Thanks, LBH and jmsca. I appreciate the encouragement. I hope that I am not contributing to the troll-like tendencies of the thread - I just felt compelled to weigh in from the other side and point out that not all women have babies just to feel complete. (My sister does [6 and counting] but then, she's completely off her nut.)
                                    Don't worry, I won't dredge up the other thread - in my pregnancy induced hormonal haze, that would probably send me right over the edge.
                                    Mr. Mouse had a few thoughts on the subject, but I'm not sure if I'm going to let him post them. It would raise a few hackles for sure, and the last thing I want is a flame war.
                                    Suz, got any pictures of your Greek god? I wanna see!
                                    *****************************************

                                    Book: If you take advantage of her, you\'re going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. Firefly

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                                    • #98
                                      People who have never had and don't want kids can never know what they are missing. Though you don't like to hear it is true. It is not condescending, it is fact. Just as women will never know what it is like to be men and vice versa, someone of one race can not truly understand another race's experience or straight people will never know what it is like to be gay. We all know what it is like to be childless 'cause we have all been there. But if you don't have kids, sorry, you don't know what you are missing. That doesn't make you selfish, stupid or shallow though. Heck I can't eat chocolate, many people think that is the best thing going. I don't know what I am missing. Oh well.

                                      Having children is by far the most fufilling, demanding, painful, joyful, wonderful thing I have ever done and I have done some pretty cool things. If you feel like you have your head on straight and you think your childhood sucked, it is tremendously therapeutic to be a parent.

                                      In our society, we say we think everyone should be an individual. Sorry I think that is a lot of lip service. We don't really like people who are too different. What we really like is to do our own thing without flack as much as we can and to think that we are somehow special. That is a bit narcasistic but in a fairly harmless way. People who don't have kids think that about themselves. People who have kids think that about their kids. Many people think that they are different because they don't buy into the marriage and family picture, but it is the glue that holds our society together and we all benefit from that. It is why we have an educational system, it is the motivating force for working to make the world a better place, it is why we have a junior division at many horse shows and JR/YR program (to keep it horse related).

                                      I applaud people who choose to have kids. I applaud people who choose to not have kids. But it bugs me a bit to see people with no children talk about children as if they are a boat anchor. Or to act as if they are they individualists swimming upstream. In these times, I think that people who truly value kids are in the minority. Many people don't see how we all benefit from children.
                                      See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

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                                      • #99
                                        Now see, nhwr, you said exactly what I wanted to say and couldn't for the life of me find the words for! Thank you!

                                        *****************

                                        A bank teller's pet peeve: "What part of Wait Here For Next Available Teller do you NOT understand???"
                                        *****************************************

                                        Book: If you take advantage of her, you\'re going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. Firefly

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                                        • Well, I tried and can't. So, I have my riders! And try not to fell too sorry for myself!!

                                          BarbaraG
                                          GWV/ All these riders are mine

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