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Non-Pregnant Check In!

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  • #21
    Yes, Robby. But I notice you didn't say you never wanted to be pregnant!
    See those flying monkeys? They work for me.


    • #22
      Not me never wanted to be, had the tubes tyed at 26 after a false pregnancy scared the S**T out of me, and the plumbing completely removed at 30. I've never regreted it and now that I'm approching middle age I no longer get the "whats wrong with you judgement". Now I find the people I know my age who had them are just getting their lives back and don't know what to do with themselves. They all have allot more gray hair then me too

      I'll get you my pretty....and your little dog too...ehheheheheheh
      \"given the choice of a majestic horse and a guy who\'s only part of a horse, I\'ll take the horse any day\"
      Budweiser commercial


      • #23
        That's too bad Robby. I bet that if you were that "aliens populated the world, we cloned a kid group" would want to claim you as their own. Also, think of the money you could make from the tabloids.

        CactusLil and I are of the kids are nice as long as they belong to someone else group. I also think too many people have kids because it is the societal norm. It really shows in how they raise the kids.


        • #24
          I'm not pregnant. (get me thru college 1st LOL)

          But I know I want kids someday, and if I'm not able to have them, I will adopt.

          I'm an Elem. Education major, worked at a preschool during high school and I LOFF kids. I have a really weird sense of humor, and I am just crazy and don't act my age a lot of the time--last night I was babysitting 6 kids at my church (three 1 year olds, two 3 year olds and a 4 year old) and just watching the older ones run in circles and laugh was cracking me up! Children have always been, and will always be a source of joy to me.

          Yes, it can be tiring (I know I do not want six kids after these babysitting trips) but it is so rewarding to be around children. They are so precious and each have something unique to offer--don't believe me, just take a look at a picture of Aiden!!!

          "Shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is 1/2 sorrow." --Sweedish Proverb
          \"My insurance doesn\'t cover PMS.\" --10 things I hate about you


          • #25
            I love kids. I really enjoy being around them and find them incredibly amusing. I love all the kids at the barn and actually enjoy an occassional evening of baby sitting.

            That being said, I've never felt the urge to have one of my own. Who knows why, but somehow I missed out on having any kind of biological urge to reproduce. It's not that I think having kids would be a horrible experience, it's just (hard to explain) not something I have any desire to do. I'm not even sure why. Maybe for the same reason I have nothing against marriage but have never been with someone I felt a desire to marry.

            For most of my life, I said "maybe someday, but not now." At 36 going on 37, that choice has probably passed me by. Sometimes, I wonder if in 20 years or so, I'll regret never having had a child. But that's better than having a child and realizing that it would have been better not to.

            That being said, I love my nieces and nephews. And those friends of mine with kids really do have a special love in their lives that I can only imagine. But, for me, I'm taking a different path.


            • Original Poster

              I don't think this will degrade into a "hating kids" thread. We don't hate them, we just don't want them...or have already had them and don't want anymore!

              I saw something on a show the other week when I was off work. It really annoyed me. The woman was pregnant and said, "I'm SO happy! My body is FINALLY doing what it was made for!"

              Um, well, actually, that's only a small part. Your body was also made to house your brain and soul, which is pretty darned important! The other functions are secondary, in my mind.

              I think it's sad for those who really want to have a child and can't. That has to be hard. You have pressure you put on yourself from that desire.

              Those of us who don't want kids only feel ostracized by society. It's easier to deal with because most who don't want kids are already pretty independent. But it's still not fair.

              And those who have kids and are no longer looking to have more, I say, "Kudos!" Hey, you made it! You survived it all. Wow! Me, I agree with the previously posted statement that I like kids, when they're someone elses and I can walk away from them when they get annoying.

              It's all about ME, ME, ME!!! (The only signature worthy of a real DQ.)
              "And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling." - Capt Reynolds "Firefly"


              • #27
                Put me into the 7-UP group. VBG

                Did the babysitting thing as a teenager and that taught me for good and all that kids are not my idea of a good time. Never thought they were cute. Never thought they were amusing. When I was a kid, I preferred the company of adults. Now I prefer the company of a good book, a horse or a dog.

                When we discovered that I'm unable to have children, it gave me a huge sense of relief which somewhat baffled all the would-be sympathy givers. <VBG>

                However, I have only pity for those women who seem devoured by their longing for children yet can't produce any. It must be miserable.

                And I concur with those who say that the childfree in our society are still somewhat on the outside of things. Still, when you consider what's on the inside, outside isn't a bad place to be!


                • #28
                  Nope, I'm not pregnant. I don't want to be pregnant. I have been there done that. My body is now housing way too much of something that I didn't really invite to stay.


                  BE GONE!


                  • #29
                    Sister has an interesting point

                    The Holy Trinity of life in America ( and elsewhere?)
                    marrage, child, house

                    Well the first has frustrated me so far.

                    The second...I do not consider myself Breeding Quality, strictly Pet Quality ( depression, alcoholism, and other genetic factors on both sides keeps me rational)

                    Third? Hummm I am facing a pang of what should I do. I can forsee myself finally able to consider buying a horse. But as a single woman of a certain, not quite interesting age, should I consider buying my first home? In the back of my mind I feel this is one issue unresolved. I do not know quite how to figure it out. Would a house ( or condo) be prudent for the future value return. Or will the horse bring the happiness now (while I can.)

                    I have heard that home investment is not the wisest choice for someone of low moderate means.

                    I have encountered the women who, upon meeting you for the first time, ask How many children do you have? Seems an odd question right out of the starting block.

                    -- * > hoopoe
                    The ancient Greeks did not write obituaries. They only wanted to know if you had a passion.
                    -- * > hoopoe
                    Procrastinate NOW
                    Introverted Since 1957


                    • #30
                      Folks, unless you make this VERY horse-related VERY fast, I'm closing it.


                      • #31
                        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hoopoe:
                        Sister has an interesting point

                        The Holy Trinity of life in America ( and elsewhere?)
                        marrage, child, house

                        Third? Hummm I am facing a pang of what should I do. I can forsee myself finally able to consider buying a horse. But as a single woman of a certain, not quite interesting age, should I consider buying my first home? In the back of my mind I feel this is one issue unresolved. I do not know quite how to figure it out. Would a house ( or condo) be prudent for the future value return. Or will the horse bring the happiness now (while I can.)

                        I have heard that home investment is not the wisest choice for someone of low moderate means.
                        The ancient Greeks did not write obituaries. They only wanted to know if you had a passion.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                        Interesting question. I being in the same boat, have so far chosen horse over house - we're talking itty bitty condo/townhouse type here. I absolutely cannot afford both. I know some of my friends think I'm crazy for it.


                        • #32
                          Well, if I have another child, maybe the second would have an interest in horses and I could get a pony and keep the fat. We would look like the Thelwell ponies.

                          Sorry Erin.


                          • #33
                            Erin said: Folks, unless you make this VERY horse-related VERY fast, I'm closing it.

                            Shoot, I SAID I prefer the company of a horse to the company of a kid. &lt;THHRRWWWWPPPPP&gt;


                            • #34
                              If I didn't have a horse, I could definitely afford to save for a down-payment and pay a mortgage. Right now, since I'm not completely settled, it makes sense to remain mobile by renting and happy with a horse.

                              I've been on this "holy trinity" thing for a while now, and it seems to be demonstrated time and time again...


                              • #35
                                No preggp for me - just had tubes tied ! Yippee!

                                My horse bucked off your honor student!

                                Founder: LOFL (lawn ornaments for life) clique


                                • #36
                                  Ok, a horse related comment...

                                  In the same way that not all people should have children, not all people should have horses. Horses, just like kids, are a tremendous responsibility and need a lot of attention. I always get frustrated when people are horse owners, but they do not really put the time and effort in to their horses. They need to be loved and nurtured too.

                                  I sold my very time consuming, needy green jumper when I was pregnant because I knew that I would not be able to give her the attention that she craved. I sold her to vet student who only focuses on school and the horse. They love each other and my horse is so much happier with her new Mommy. I still miss her, but I know I made the right decision. Like I said before, horses need to be loved and nurtured.

                                  "I never met a donut that I didn't like."


                                  • #37
                                    Not Now, Not Ever, NO FRIGI'N WAY!!!!!

                                    And thank God my man doesn't want them either!

                                    Call me selfish, but at least I know what I want and don't want! I like kids, but when I'm done enjoying their presence, I want them to GO HOME!

                                    I do not have that motherly instict thingy, unless it has four legs. I have many friends with kids and they wouldn't trade it for the world.

                                    I get to play "auntie", which makes us all happy


                                    • #38
                                      Well, I must say that I was one of the "I will never have children" for years and years. My husband and I did finally decide that we wanted one child and he is now 11 weeks old. I was lucky and had an easy pregnancy and rode on the flat for most of it (on my 17 yr.old mare). The delivery was an experience and I'll leave it at that (epidurals are your friend).

                                      If you make the choice to not have children, you are not being selfish, how can you be selfish to someone that doesn't exist? You would be in the wrong to have a child because others think you should, then be miserable. I don't think you can be the best parent you can if you are miserable and
                                      resentful. Make the choice for yourself, not your parents who want grandchildren. They don't have to raise them.

                                      I do love my little boy and am glad he's here. I do understand that I will have less time to ride but my husband is very supportive and has no problem with watching our son if I want to ride. I am lucky in that department.

                                      I am definately glad to not be pregnant any longer though!!!

                                      Follow your heart.


                                      • #39
                                        Velvet, my love, you are far from alone . You can count me among the hordes who have emphatically exclaimed at one time or another, "I don't ever want kids!" only to have everyone surrounding them at the moment smile at them condescendingly and say, "Just you wait. You'll change your mind, you silly young thing, you." Well, okay, the "silly young thing, you" is never really said but very often IMPLIED .

                                        I have it even worse, because compared to my friends, I don't really date. It's not because I don't get asked, and it's not because I'm not interested, but to tell you the truth, I have too many things on my plate right now (I'm paving the way for a graduate education in either law or psychology, as well as aspiring to compete at a very high level of showjumping) to make time for another person in my life, and it wouldn't be fair to either him or myself to try and cram a relationship in there somewhere. The downside to this is that I think half my friends believe I'm a lesbian , as every time they try to force a male friend/relative/whatever on me, I tell them to leave me alone.

                                        Sister is so right about the holy trinity. What an astute way to put it.

                                        To re-emphasize the horse-relatedness of it all, I have found that my showjumping has taken me on a very different route than my life would have followed without it. I think I'd probably have had WAY more relationships than I have (and who knows, maybe an entirely different opinion on child-having. One reason I don't want a kid is that it means way too much time out of the saddle and then recuperating/caring for the kid afterwards, and I can't/don't want to take that kind of time off, although I know many pros have) if my life were not so devoted to this sport. Strangely, when I reflect on whether I regret the choices I have made, I can honestly say no, I don't.
                                        "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!" ~Homer Simpson


                                        • #40
                                          Do you think horses can often replace or substitute that need to nurture?

                                          I surely do. I am actually an avid child lover, and sometimes think of having a baby of my own. But then I think, "it's so permanent and such a responsibility."

                                          At least with my horse I can leave the barn and know that he will be cared for.


                                          You look so careless when they're shooting that bull ...
                                          Don't you know hearthaches are heroes when their pockets are full?
                                          When blood is the beverage of choice, the sharpest fangs feed first.