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Interesting phone conversation with UT vet's office - sexist?

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  • Interesting phone conversation with UT vet's office - sexist?

    I'm sitting here scratching my head and wondering if I should be annoyed with this. I just got off the phone with the University of TN equine clinic making an appointment for my horse. The person answering the phone was taking down my contact info.

    After giving my name and address, her next question was "Husband's name?"
    Me "Excuse me?"
    Her "I need your husband's name."
    Me "No you don't."
    Her "Yes, I do. For our records."
    Me ""Why?"
    Her "It's for our records."
    Me "You don't need my husband's info. It's my horse. I pay the bill. I am financially responsible for the charges and my husband has nothing to do with my horses."
    Her "Um... um.... OK.... I guess."

    So my question is, do they automatically ask for the wife's name when a man calls to make his appointment for his horse? Does anybody know? Maybe I'm being oversensitive. It just seemed odd and vaguely offensive to me.

  • #2
    My guess would be that for legal reasons they may need another name or contact for billing or abandonment issues (not that you would do that!- but past experiences may have led to them requiring this).
    "I have been Foolish and Deluded," said he, "and I am a Bear of No Brain at All." - Winnie the Pooh

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    • Original Poster

      #3
      I suppose, but I have never been asked this before. The closest thing is for personal medical care, and they just ask who the primary person on the insurance is (me). And places that ask for an emergency contact (I give my husband's info then). And she didn't ask for an emergency contact, she asked specifically for my husband's name. I'm hoping a male who has taken their horse to UT will chime in and tell me if they asked for his wife's name.

      Comment


      • #4
        You could probably ask the hospital manager what the policy is, and if they ask men a similar question. Has your horse been seen there before? If this is something new, perhaps the university legal department had a case with a custody issue.
        "I have been Foolish and Deluded," said he, "and I am a Bear of No Brain at All." - Winnie the Pooh

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        • #5
          Sigh...I've had a similar experience calling for "Free Estimates" from contractors.
          There has not been a Mr 2Dogs for nearly 7 years.

          My guess is they may be trying to avoid the "I have to ask my husband" avoidance ploy.
          Even in this Day & Age I've heard women using this sorryass lame excuse.
          FGS! Grow a metaphorical pair and make your own decisions!
          *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
          Steppin' Out 1988-2004
          Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
          Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

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          • #6
            So since I'm single, does that mean they wouldn't treat my horse?

            Reminds me of the time a salesman turned up (uninvited) at my farm, and asked to speak to my husband. I said, "Gee, I really have no idea where he is right now... since I haven't met him yet!" That guy's face was priceless.

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #7
              I can see asking "Will you be the person responsible for the account?" and/or "Are you the owner of the horse?" But "Husband's name?" My first instinct was to answer "None of your damn business" but I successfully internally edited.

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              • #8
                That is pretty offensive - I would call the hospital administrator and make a complaint. It's 2009 for crying out loud...one's marital status is not their business, unless your credit card is in his name.
                * <-- RR Certified Gold Star {) <-- RR Golden Croissant Award
                Training Tip of the Day: If you can’t beat your best competitor, buy his horse.
                NO! What was the question?

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                • #9
                  Ditto fixerupper, with sprinkles. Wake up and smell what decade it is.
                  I tolerate all kinds of animal idiosyncrasies.
                  I've found that I don't tolerate people idiosyncrasies as well. - Casey09

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by 2DogsFarm View Post
                    My guess is they may be trying to avoid the "I have to ask my husband" avoidance ploy.
                    Even in this Day & Age I've heard women using this sorryass lame excuse.
                    FGS! Grow a metaphorical pair and make your own decisions!
                    LOL, when you've made your own decision but want to get the price down, it can work!

                    My husband and I play Good Cop/Bad Cop with considerable success sometimes. Works in reverse, too!

                    OE: On the other hand, I must say that I've spent 10's of k's lately in horse expenses, including vet, and nobody once asked for my husband's name...
                    Ring the bells that still can ring
                    Forget your perfect offering
                    There is a crack in everything
                    That's how the light gets in.

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                    • #11
                      It wasn't so much sexist as it was a result of the fact that they deal with men more than women when it comes to the business and ownership side of things. It's generally assumed that the owner of a horse is male because in TN, men are usually the face of horse businesses and you could even go so far as to say that they are more likely to own multiple horses in their name than a woman would in that state given the culture.
                      Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        #12
                        Originally posted by LexInVA View Post
                        It wasn't so much sexist as it was a result of the fact that they deal with men more than women when it comes to the business and ownership side of things. It's generally assumed that the owner of a horse is male because in TN, men are usually the face of horse businesses and you could even go so far as to say that they are more likely to own multiple horses in their name than a woman would in that state given the culture.
                        I don't know about that. I have boarded in several barns in TN, and can count on one hand the number of male horse owners in those barns. The shows/events I have been to are predominantly attended by women as well. There are plenty of cowboy types in the area with "rackin' horses" but I doubt many of them take their horse to the university for evaluation. So I can't see me being unusual as a female horse owner bringing in a horse for evaluation.

                        I may just ask to briefly speak with the office manager when I bring the horse in.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I had to take my dog to the emergency clinic this weekend and filling out the paperwork there was a line requesting spouse information.

                          I assumed it was just in case I couldn't be reached they would have another person to contact in case of an emergency. . . maybe secondary contact person would be a better phrase, but it was spouse, so assume they would be interested in a wife's information as well

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I would not have felt comfortable being asked that either. UGA has never asked me for that info even though I've taken quite a few horses up there for about 25+ years now. On occasion I've hauled to Auburn Univ. and they have not asked for that info either. If she had asked for an emergency contact, I could "maybe" understand it, but it's not relevant information otherwise. I would definitely contact the administrator and inquire why this information is being asked for.
                            Susan N.

                            Don't get confused between my personality & my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.

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                            • #15
                              Around here, they often ask for the wife's name too as in many instances Mr. Farmer owns the stock but Mrs Farmer is the one who does the accounting and pays the bills. They ONLY do this with large animals, not small animals.
                              Founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!

                              Member: Incredible Invisbles

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                              • #16
                                So what if you don't have a husband?

                                I would have said, "Well, I have seven wives. Do you want all seven names or will just one do?"
                                www.specialhorses.org
                                a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

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                                • #17
                                  Sounds like youre a little insecure to me. My wife has been asked the same question several times, she just gave the info. Who cares? If you dont want to give the info then dont, but playing the "sexist" card? Really?
                                  Disclaimer;
                                  Nearly all of what I post will be controversial to someone. Believe nothing you read on a chat room, research for yourself and LEARN.
                                  Not in the 42% or the 96%

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                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by 2bee View Post
                                    Sounds like youre a little insecure to me. My wife has been asked the same question several times, she just gave the info. Who cares? If you dont want to give the info then dont, but playing the "sexist" card? Really?
                                    I believe sexism is like racism--if you aren't part of the group involved, you don't really have a say in whether something is offensive or not. Yes, the phone call was really weird and *mildly* offensive. The above quote is more so.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by 2bee View Post
                                      Sounds like youre a little insecure to me. My wife has been asked the same question several times, she just gave the info. Who cares? If you dont want to give the info then dont, but playing the "sexist" card? Really?
                                      It's interesting how you are putting the OP down and dismissing the idea that it's sexism, when your example is of your wife being asked the same question, and NOT of you being asked for your wife's information. I agree with the above post and I don't really think you have a leg to stand on here.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho" View Post
                                        So what if you don't have a husband?

                                        I would have said, "Well, I have seven wives. Do you want all seven names or will just one do?"

                                        Can polygamy work both ways? The OP could've said "Which husband? I have so many, I've lost count and can't remember all their names!"
                                        Horsey Stick Art clique
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