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Spawn of Satan is working at our local tack shop...

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  • #1

    Spawn of Satan is working at our local tack shop...

    And perhaps it's a Karmic return?

    Background - When I moved my daughter and horse, this kid's mother shot me a NastyGram via e-mail. Totally inappropriate in normal social circles my husband and I travel in, but this is the horse world.

    In the past I've caught this woman drive past my house on occasion.

    Mom also made a point of patronizing a local supermarket where my daughter worked, to go thru her line and ask niggling questions verging on harassment. This store is clear across town, and curiously in the 25 years I've shopped there, she's never, ever been in there before until after we left that barn.

    It would get so bad, my daughter would come home and say "guess who came thru my line tonight"....I asked the store managers to please keep a heads up for this woman. I did peg her one day near the toilet paper aisle and told her I knew what she was doing and it was pathetic. I also asked a 3rd party that still boarded there to pass this on as well. It seemed to taper off after that.

    The daggers thrown across the show grounds at we Ex-Boarders were still part of the repertoire.

    She has gotten into it with show secretaries, the farrier, the local chiropractor, the waitress at the pizza place. She's bounced around town with jobs. Mom also lives in her parent's basement, due to failed marriage # 2. I would need a professional with years of clinical experience to explain how all of this works.

    Now, none of this is illegal, she's free to shop and drive and argue and divorce where and with whom she likes...but the kicker is that her sister owns this barn, and that's where the venom comes from. Hence the niece is now working at our local tack shop. The apple did not fall far from the tree with this one. She's proven herself a toxicity among the girls at that barn and is tolerated only because she's the niece.

    My child is safely off in college now and I hang with normal adults at a normal barn doing normal adult things and enjoying it. I am also free to shop at our local tack shop, minutes from my home.

    Normally, I'd be civil to this woman's daughter, conduct my transaction and leave. It's how I was brought up.

    But...inside I'd love ask for her help in the boot room, try on every freakin' pair...decide I'm not purchasing today and slap this kid upside the head, reminding her of the many nasty things she AND her mother AND her aunt have said about SO many of us. Then flounce outta the store.

    Do I act on that wild thought or do I behave myself?
    Tags: None
  • #2
    It's never a bad decision to take the high road, although I completely know how you feel. We have one of those types around here and it's so tempting....
    Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck; some nights I call it a draw. -- fun.

    My favorite podcasts: Overdue, The Black Tapes, Tanis, Rabbits, How Did This Get Made?, Up and Vanished.

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    • #3
      You have to be good. sorry. Getting into a pissing war w/ an annoying teen is not what you want to do as an adult. Really. Don't you have a horse that needs riding or something? :-)
      I tolerate all kinds of animal idiosyncrasies.
      I've found that I don't tolerate people idiosyncrasies as well. - Casey09

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      • #4
        I think indulging in the fantasy for a few minutes and then moving on and no longer thinking about it or acting on it is probably the healthiest route to take.

        Anyone who has been riding/boarding/taking lessons for any length of time has encountered the drama queen who loves to create barn "issues". Personally, I think the best method of dealing with them is just smiling and stearing clear. Enjoy your horse(s) and normal friends and don't even give the nasty family any more thought. Easier said than done I know, especially when it involves our children, but really why give them any of your precious time?

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        • #5
          Behave yourself. She wouldn't get it anyway, and you would just give her ammunition.

          Fun to think about. Great way to amuse yourself on long drives.

          Comment

          • #6
            Living well and being good (i.e., taking the high road) is always the best revenge. But I DO sympathize. In my old age (!) I've decided that life is too short to waste ANY of it on mean people or mean horses.
            --Becky in TX
            Clinic Blogs and Rolex Blogs
            She who throws dirt is losing ground.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Cosette View Post
              I think indulging in the fantasy for a few minutes and then moving on and no longer thinking about it or acting on it is probably the healthiest route to take.

              Anyone who has been riding/boarding/taking lessons for any length of time has encountered the drama queen who loves to create barn "issues". Personally, I think the best method of dealing with them is just smiling and stearing clear. Enjoy your horse(s) and normal friends and don't even give the nasty family any more thought. Easier said than done I know, especially when it involves our children, but really why give them any of your precious time?
              Couldn't agree more!

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              • #8
                A very wise person told me once that we are feel to think any thoughts we wish(or that inadvertently pop into our heads) and as long as we don't act on them, we can remain guilt free. That has kept me sane over many years of dealing with a$$hats. As long as you don't dwell on those thoughts,you'll be fine.
                I also now go out of my way to surround myself with the nicest, best people I can find-ones that I truly respect. I stay happy that way.
                Good luck- I do believe in karma-eventually what goes around comes around.
                Personally, I'd only shop there on the days she's not working(if she has a set schedule). And I totally feel for you-I have two ex-boarders that did some nasty stuff to me when they left that I still have a hard time taking the high road-sometimes letting go is the hardest part....(she says with clenched fists)
                http://thepitchforkchronicles.com

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                • #9
                  On another thread I read something that I think is fitting to your situation.

                  "Karma is a chestnut mare"- Rev

                  That just makes me laugh as I own two of them and it is very fitting.

                  She will get what is coming to her as will the mother. Just be thankful that your daughter and her no longer ride together.
                  RIP Kid Gloves (Holly) 1992 TBxHanv CCI*** mare.
                  http://photobucket.com/tx3dayeventer/holly
                  New mare: Miss Bunny Express (Missy) 1995 AQHA Jumper mare.
                  http://photobucket.com/tx3dayeventer/missy

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                  • #10
                    I think driving Spawn Jr crazy is just a fantasy, and you won't act on it. You can enjoy thinking about it, but the satisfaction you get from doing it wouldn't be worth the time and effort you spend associating with her. Plus it might make Spawn Sr start her antics again.
                    You can't fix stupid-Ron White

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                    • #11
                      What the others said. Also, trying to get through to a teen whose mother asks that way wouldn't do a bit of good anyway. Lead by example and maybe one of these days she'll see how toxic her mother really is! I'd actually feel sorry for the kid and try to be extra nice to her!

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                      • #12
                        I agree with the others. Fantasize about plucking out Tiny Spawn's toenails one by one, but at the end of the day just be an adult and smile!

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                        • #13
                          "She has gotten into it with show secretaries, the farrier, the local chiropractor, the waitress at the pizza place. She's bounced around town with jobs. Mom also lives in her parent's basement, due to failed marriage # 2.

                          Smile and just picture her so proudly sitting in the basement of her mommy's...maybe she's making a grilled cheese sandwich using her clothes iron? Her neice is selling strapwear to people who can afford to buy it vs. being off at college like your daughter.

                          Sounds like they're crashing and burning nicely on their own...just sit back and enjoy the trainwreck...psycho-mom will sure be attracting guys with that attitude.

                          Smile! Remember, the best revenge is living well.
                          "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Auventera Two View Post
                            I agree with the others. Fantasize about plucking out Tiny Spawn's toenails one by one, but at the end of the day just be an adult and smile!

                            OMG!!! That is hillarious!!!!!!
                            DAILY THOUGHT:

                            SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

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                            • #15
                              I think you should avoid the tack shop completely. COMPLETELY! Sounds like this has been so drawn-out and emotional for you, you may not be able to resist the urge to ring her neck.

                              The more you can avoid her, the better, I think! Good luck! It sucks to deal with crazy people, but it usually bothers them MORE if you don't react/don't engage yourself in their nonsense.
                              Jigga:
                              Why must you chastise my brilliant idea with facts and logic? **picks up toys (and wine) and goes home**

                              Comment

                              • #16
                                Originally posted by Trakehner View Post
                                "She has gotten into it with show secretaries, the farrier, the local chiropractor, the waitress at the pizza place. She's bounced around town with jobs. Mom also lives in her parent's basement, due to failed marriage # 2.

                                Smile and just picture her so proudly sitting in the basement of her mommy's...maybe she's making a grilled cheese sandwich using her clothes iron? Her neice is selling strapwear to people who can afford to buy it vs. being off at college like your daughter.

                                Sounds like they're crashing and burning nicely on their own...just sit back and enjoy the trainwreck...psycho-mom will sure be attracting guys with that attitude.

                                Smile! Remember, the best revenge is living well.
                                Ditto Trak.

                                That's the cool thing about karmic retribution. You don't have to do a thing - just sit back and enjoy watching someone reap what they've sown. I used to think that, to be able to put my dealings with someone like this behind me, that I'd have to be the starting force in their downfall. But after watching such folks crash and burn on their own, I realized that nothing I could start, and still be able to maintain my own integrity, can equal what they do to themselves. Writers for TV drama series couldn't make that shit up!!!

                                Whenever I have to deal with someone I dislike, I smile really big and think about what is coming to them.
                                In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
                                A life lived by example, done too soon.
                                www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/

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                                • #17
                                  Thinking about it is the high road -- sort of like dreaming about what you would do if you won the lottery -- doesn't actually happen, but one gets a lot of pleasure about thinking about what would happen if it did! One of my old and wise friends once said "Don't get in a P-s-ing contest with a skunk -- everyone ends up smelling bad" Enjoy the thought, and leave them to their own devices.
                                  " ...the mist parted, and there was a green land under a swift sunrise." J.R.R. Tolkien, Return of the King

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                                  • Original Poster
                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by saultgirl View Post
                                    I think you should avoid the tack shop completely. COMPLETELY! Sounds like this has been so drawn-out and emotional for you, you may not be able to resist the urge to ring her neck.
                                    No, actually I will refuse to change my shopping habits. I shopped there when this kid was of diaper-wearing age, and I will continue to shop there well into my diaper-wearing age.

                                    I really just posted mostly tongue-in-cheek...and of course I would NEVER act on such urges. That's pretty much what better breeding and education gives you.

                                    But it was fun to think about it. And the other posters are correct, Karma can return in curious ways.

                                    Comment

                                    • #19
                                      That is why COTH is such a great place. You can come here, share those annoyances we can all relate to and when you're done venting and fantacizing about the incredibly fun and justifiable payback you'd like to dish out, you can remember to take the high road in 'real' life.

                                      I, too, ran into a barn bully who started volunteering in a TR program that my daughter and I had volunteered in for years. I printed out the IM 'conversation' where this young lady said some terrible things to my daughter along the lines of 'everyone at the farm hates you,' and quietly took it to the TR Director. I wanted to call her parents and smack that little bully silly for hurting my child, but I let the Director handle it as a farm situation. It turned out that the young lady had changing family dynamics going on and I am glad I didn't take things to the next level. Apologies were offered and the girls are now friends, but I am glad I kept to the high road, and I think in the long run, you will be, too. It doesn't help the situation to sink to her level, and you are obviously dealing with someone who has serious issues. If you escalate the situation, who knows what she might be capable of and you don't want to risk your family's safety.

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                                      • Original Poster
                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by chai View Post
                                        If you escalate the situation, who knows what she might be capable of and you don't want to risk your family's safety.
                                        No, I'd never escalate the situation. It would be ludicrous and juvenile. Thinking of such was a bit of juvenile fun, however.

                                        Again, in the social circles we travel in these personalities don't really pop up. Many of us feel that it's been quite an education on personality disorders and overall teachable moments for our kids.

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